


The other side of Summer.

by Auroraborealis22



Series: A SERIES OF IMPRACTICAL EVENTS [5]
Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:55:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 102,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8177474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auroraborealis22/pseuds/Auroraborealis22
Summary: Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.   Groucho Marx.





	1. So distant.

Chapter One So distant

The first picture message from Cait came through to Q's phone as he was waiting at the carousel for his luggage at JFK Airport. Their flight had landed on time.A glance at his watch told him it was after five in the afternoon. He'd wound his watch back five hours to New York time on the plane. Cait had landed at Doha International Qatar. It was already the next day for Cait, one in the morning to be exact.  
Cait was smiling at him; her arms spread wide. He'd smiled and huffed a small chuckle to himself. She wore the three colour demons t - shirt he'd left for her. Behind Cait was a huge canary yellow teddy bear sculpture.  
Made it to Qatar just another 14 hours to Phnom Penn. From Nurse Cait.  
He was asleep when the next one came through. A deep, comatose sleep, that had been helped along by half a bottle of Jamesons. He hadn't unpacked his luggage. Pushing it roughly through the door he'd left it where it haphazardly had knocked against the wall. He'd showered, changed into just a robe and crashed on the sofa. Two glasses in and a purring cat on his chest Q began to tell the black ball of fur all about the UK tour.Refilling his glass for the third time, Q could feel the fatigue spread through his body as he'd lain sprawled across the sofa in the dark.  
"You'd like Cait, Benjamin." He'd sighed petting the cat, his fingers running over its fur. He'd lapsed into a one-sided conversation then with the cat who just made meowing noises as he described Cait. Before long his mind had wondered to Cait, naked, her face level with his as she slowly rode his cock. Then he imagined the feel of her tongue licking up his shaft taking him deep in her throat.He grunted in frustration to himself. Closing his eyes he'd gulped down a mouthful of his drink, but that just made it worse. Trying to put the glass on the floor he misjudged the distance in the dark. A small among of whisky sloshed over the rim of the glass as it connected with the surface. He saw Cait's ass, the flow of the dress she'd worn the night before clinging to her curves. That was when he realised he'd got a stonking hard on. He'd been naked under his robe, pulling at the knot it untied easily.The robe slipped from his body exposing his cock. The cat had grumpily vacated its position on his chest as Q smoothed his hand down his torso and massaged his balls. Oh God that felt so good, he thought as images of Cait flashed across Q's memory. He moved his hand up his shaft. He smeared the first globs of pre-cum over the head with his thumb. He used more precum as a lubricant as he stroked his hand leisurely up and down his cock. His eyes had glazed over a little as he imagined Cait's tongue teasing the tip. His balls drew up tight. His actions were becoming more vigorous. Fuck!The pressure in his balls became more than he could bare.His gaze turned trance like. Oh yeah, fuck! He'd panted deep in his throat as he thought of fucking Cait hard. Ooooooh fuck, fuck! He'd groaned as a stream of cum landed on his stomach. Q's breathing slowly calmed as he lay on his sofa, his cock going flaccid in his hand, cum coating his palm. He'd clapped his free hand over his eyes and groaned as he rubbed his eye with the ball of his hand.  
"Fuck it, Cait! Look what you do to me? Thousands of miles apart and here I am halfway pissed, laying here in my own sticky mess. " He'd rolled off the couch then and hauled himself upstairs. He'd cleaned himself up and flopping down on the bed had been asleep within minutes of his head hitting the pillow.  
He'd slept till ten the next morning. Blurry eyed, he squinted at his phone screen. Two picture messages from Cait. One of her at Ho Chin Min City Airport Vietnam. Pretty basic airport environment. Cait stood underneath a blue sign. An arrow to her right declared Landing Visa. An arrow straight ahead pointed to Arrivals. To her left, the arrow pointed to Health Quarantine.  
The next picture message was of Cait standing in front of the airport building in the Cambodian capital city. In big letters behind her, the sign read Phnom Penn International Airport. This time, she wasn't alone. A young blonde haired girl stood next to her, and Cait was pointing to the girl's t-shirt.  
Half way around the world and I meet a fan. Don't think I'll tell her I know you intimately though think she might scratch my eyes out.  
The girl had a team Q t-shirt on. That message had come through at 4.32am New York time. He remembered she'd told him she expected to land at 4.00pm Cambodian time. The twelve hour time difference meant Cait was probably going to bed now just as he was getting up.  
He flicked through the messages again zooming in and out a few times. He cast the phone down frustrated with himself for the torture it brought him. Getting dressed, he sorted his luggage out. Laying in pride of place on top of everything else were Cait's comics. He needed to keep them somewhere safe. He decided they could live with his collection. Checking his fridge, he managed to cobble together something that resembled breakfast. He made a mental note to stop at the store on his way home from Sal's later. He made tea. As he sipped the hot liquid, he dropped Sal a text.

 

The longer the journey took from JFK International Airport, the more stressed out Sal had got. Road works on the Belt Parkway stretched out the drive home even longer. He and Q had travelled back to the Island together Q smirking at Sal at his ever-increasing agitation.  
"Goddamn, traffic!" He'd grumbled. Letting out a huge breath of relief he'd barged clumsily through his front door. He'd knocked his backpack against the door frame in his haste to get in.He'd Pushed the door too behind him with his foot. It had rattled a bit as it closed. Sal dropped his luggage, kicked off his shoes and picked up his mail. Bill, junk, bill. Nothing exciting, he opened the first one.  
"Goddamn it!" He had paid this one before I went away. He'd checked the date and realised the payment and bill had crossed over each other. He'd skimmed through the others then tossed them onto the side. Regarding his luggage scattered around his feet, Sal decided there and then to sort it out. He didn't want to wait until the next day; anyhow it gave him something to occupy his mind. They'd been away for two weeks. That meant a thin film of two-week old dust had settled over the house. He'd contemplated the question, should he dust right now or wait till Saturday? Could he stand being in the house for more than a full day surrounded by two weeks worth of dust? No. He set to work and cleaned the place. Eleven o'clock that evening found Sal rewinding the cable up on the Dyson before packing it away. He'd felt pleased with himself at how productive he'd been having stepped off the plane just six hours before. Sal had, had some sleep on the flight back and even after his energetic evening still wasn't tired. Sal settled in front of the tv. Deciding to catch up on some episodes of the shows he was into that month he got comfy. Sal poured a whisky from the already started bottle on the side. The flight food had been mediocre, but Sal just wasn't feeling hungry. By one o' clock he'd caught up on four episodes and was beginning to fell tired. He swigged back the last of his second glass of Jamesons and headed for the stairs.Sal had taken his watch off. Opening a draw he'd placed it neatly with his others. Pausing for a moment he'd looked down at the timepieces. Each one was telling the same time. 1.11am. Add five; that made it 6.11am in the UK. His mind wandered to Dee. What was she doing now? Was she sleeping still? Or was she waking up now? Was she even thinking about him? He wondered. He stripped his clothes off and headed for a shower.In his bathroom, he'd opened the little window to minimise the steam as Sal intended to have one hell of a hot shower. Sal piled a stack of fresh, clean towels from the airing closet. He turned on the hot water first to almost scolding before adding a touch of cold. When Sal felt it was the right temperature, he'd stepped into the shower. Sliding the frosted glass door shut behind him, Sal switched the shower on full. He'd just stood under the steaming water. The heat hit his feet first, then his body. Sticking his head under the water, it cascaded over his face. He'd opened and closed his mouth, rinsing and spitting down the drain. Sal lathered shower gel over his body. Sal had let his fingers wander over his groin. His fingers slowed as he cleaned his cock and lifted his balls. The feeling of water running over his body and his fingers as Sal washed woke his sleeping cock. He took his cock in his hand and worked it up and down. His eyes remained closed as the images played on his shut lids. A pair of glasses, intense dark eyes watching him over the top of the frames. Dee's dazzling smile as her lips parted, her mouth opening to take his cock between her pouting lips. She was taking his full length now. Fuck, that felt sooo good. If Sal concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel himself hitting the back of her throat. Then he imagined the feel of her tongue working up his shaft as she took air. Her tongue was swirling over the softness of his skin. The tip of her tongue was seeking out the tiny vertical opening at the tip of his cock. He could see in her eyes the silent affirmation to come in her mouth, to let his seed spurt down her throat. Ooooooh, fuck it! His climax was quick to follow after that thought. It hit hard. Long spurts of cum erupting from his dick joining the water and swirling away down the drain.Sal groaned as he switched the shower off. Getting out the shower he'd dried himself. Then Sal had put his pj's on and crawled into bed. He'd lain in the dark thinking that sleep was going to elude him after his shower.  
He was rudely woken up the following morning by loud knocking on his front door. He focused his blurry eyes on the clock; it was 8.48. He didn't want to answer. Rolling out of bed, he crawled across the floor to the window. He didn't want whoever it was to see his shadow flit across the curtains.He peaked out from round the curtain. His eyes fell on the car parked out in the street. It was Roz ' s car. Sure enough, she appeared looking up at his window. He watched her come back to the door. Her second knock reverberated through his house. He willed her to give it up. Sneaking another look, he watched as she headed back to her car. He couldn't face her just yet. She sat in her car for a few minutes. His phone went off just before he watched her pull away.  
If he answered straight away, it would look too obvious.  
Hey, Sal. Seem to have missed you this morning. Hope you're not avoiding me. We need to talk. Today. Text me a time and place. Roz.  
He lay back down and contemplated her message. Should he tell her to come over later? He'd promised A whatsayyou, so it would have to be after then. Was it wise asking her over to his? Maybe somewhere neutral would be better. He thought it over as he lay in bed. He hoped he could go back to sleep. After half an hour of laying starring at the ceiling, he roused himself and headed for the bathroom. Washed and dressed he peered in his fridge. Picking up the almond milk he looked at the use by date. 01.21.17. Today's date, was it okay? It wasn't open. The carton felt slightly bloated in his hand. He cut the top, and the smell of sour milk hit his nostrils straight away.  
"Oh, my god! that's fuckin' gross!" Sal exclaimed to himself. He poured the slimy, foul-smelling liquid down the sink. Sal rincing it down with water after the whole contents had gone down the drain.Sitting in his kitchen, he ate dry cereal straight from the box. Sal, sipped at a black coffee while checking his e-mails.Then he phoned his mom for a catch up before returning to starred at the meagre contents of his fridge again. When Q texted him to say he was on his way over he cheekily asked him to pick some milk up for him on his way over.  
"I bring food." declared Q when Sal opened his door. Waving the takeout packages in his outstretched arms. His fists bunched around the paper packaging.  
"Oh, man! I'm stravin'. " Sal exclaimed making a grab for the food as Q walked passed him. Q kicked his shoes off and followed Sal into his kitchen. They set the equipment up in Sal's kitchen while they ate. They procrastinated for a full hour and a half before settling down to record. Seventy minutes later they wrapped it up and switched the mics off.  
Sal got out his phone and texted Roz. He told Q about her early morning visit, and her insisting they needed to talk.  
"She coming round here? Best make myself scares dude."  
"No, stay."  
"You don't need me hanging around Sal."  
"Yeah, I do, moral support and what have you, just stay man." Q reluctantly agreed. Roz was early. Q skulked in the kitchen as Sal opened the door. He hadn't seen Roz for nearly two months. She stood on his doorstep, pale faced. Her light blue eyes were red-rimmed and watery looking. Her light brown curly hair caught up in a messy pony; her hands dug deep into her jacket pockets.  
"You gonna ask me in?" She questioned a weak smile touching her thin lips. He pulled the door wider for her as she stepped past him. "Brian here then? I see his jeeps outside." What a stupid thing to say of cause Brian would be here. Thick as thieves and joined at the hip like two mismatched Siamese twins they were. Just lately one couldn't take a shit without the other instantly knowing. She kicked her shoes off and unzipped her jacket.  
"Yeah, he's in the kitchen. We just wrapped up a whatsayyou. Do ya wanna drink?"  
"Tea, Sal, please."  
"Tea?" He questioned with surprise as he directed her towards the lounge, "You 've always been a staunch coffee drinker, Roz."  
"Yeah, well........at the moment even the smell of coffee makes me wanna gag."  
"Is that the.....er....the......" Sal waved his finger in the direction of her middle arcing a curve in the air.  
"The baby Sal? Yeah, I suppose it is. I've got a craving for carrots and oranges too. At this rate, I'm gonna give birth to an Oompa Loompa." She laughed weakly but got no response from Sal.  
"I'll......er......I'll......go fix you that tea then." She watched him back out the door but not quite closing it on her completely. God, this was going to be harder than she'd thought.


	2. Miles apart.

Chapter 2 Miles apart.  
Cait had settled herself into her seat on the Qatar Airways flight a feeling of nervous excitement thrilling through her body. Sitting in a window seat, she'd decided not to sleep straight away. Instead, she watched a movie. After the film Cait had occupied herself with a book, she'd bought on impulse at Heathrow. Eventually, she'd felt fatigue start to creep up on her. Fishing out earplugs, and an eye mask, she'd wrapped a blanket over her shoulders and was soon sound asleep. Someone nudging her by the shoulder had jolted her awake. Cait slowly blinked at them as the Asian woman smiled kindly close to her face. Cait's eyes stared at the flight attendants lipstick. Her lips being a bright burgundy colour that matched her uniform. The Asian woman was telling Cait they were getting ready to land. Cait hadn't realised she'd been asleep for so long. Glad the first part of the journey was coming to a close, she was looking forward to stretching her legs a little. Even if she just wandered around Doha International Airport.  
On exiting the flight, Cait headed towards the Transfers Hall. Visa and passport checked, the smiling assistant advised Cait that her connecting flight was on time. She was also welcome to wait there if she wished or she could wonder up to level G. Cait decided to go up to level G where all the shops, restaurants and duty-free shops were. In the middle of the area was the 23-foot high teddy sculpture with a lamp on its head. Cait just stood in front of the thing staring at it. It looked like it was made of plush canary yellow teddy fur. But when she touched it she found it was cold and hard. The bronze it was made from making it look remarkably like a real soft plush teddy.  
"Excuse me, do you speak English?" Cait asked two dark skinned women who were also stood looking at the sculpture next to Cait. They'd nodded hesitantly, but when Cait explained she just wanted a photo they'd obliged with smiling faces. Cait hit send to Brian and then sat in the In Q Cafe eating a sandwich and drinking a perfect strong cup of coffee.  
Time to move on to her next flight. Finding her seat on her second Qatar Airways flight she had another 7 hours plus journey ahead of her. Next stop Vietnam. Cait read some more and tried to sleep again. Ear plugs in and eye mask on she'd drifted in and out of sleep. Startled awake she realised an ear plug had fallen out and somewhere from down the other end of the plane a baby was crying. The child's wailing was becoming more and more fretful. She felt sorry for the mother as she walked up the gangway between the seats cradling the child. She was trying so hard to claim the child down the regret in her eyes shining painfully at the other passengers. One of the flight attendants ushered the mother and child away towards the back of the plane. The child's crying fading away from Cait's ears. Soon the crying couldn't be heard anymore, and Cait assumed something had been found to placate the child. This time around Cait watched two movies back to back.  
Ho Chi Minh City Airport wasn't as swanky as Doha. Departing the second flight, Cait stayed close to the transfer terminal this time. She was beginning to feel a well of trepidation building in her stomach. She was so nearly there now. The hour and twenty minutes connection for the next flight dragged. Cait had persuaded a passing flight attendant to snap a photo of her just for something to do. At last, the flight got called, and Cait settled in for the short 50-minute connection.  
Another arrival terminal, another airport signalled she'd come to the end of her marathon of flights. The local area coordinator and two staff were waiting to welcome ever body at the airport. Cait stood next to her luggage her backpack balanced on her back. The small group was waiting for one more person to join their group of eight.  
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. You're all waiting for me, aren't you? I thought they'd lost my luggage! It's okay; it was just the last item of luggage off the plane. It always happens to me!" Turning Cait had come face to face with the owner of the voice. Small, blonde, blue eyed mid-twenties the girl scanned her eyes around the gathered small group. Ruby settled her gaze on Cait. Her eyes took in Cait's t-shirt. Laura, the coordinator, began ushering the group out of the terminal to wait for their ride in front of the airport. Cait fell into step behind two guys and knew that the blonde haired girl was right behind her. Cait had felt the oppressive heat hit her smack in the face as she walked out of the airport. Luggage stashed on the mini bus Cait had felt the blonde hovering by her side.  
"I noticed your shirt...." she began. "Would you mind if I ask one of the others to take a snap of you and me together? I'm Ruby, by the way....." she stuck her hand out.  
"Caitlin, but Cait is just fine." and Cait shook Ruby's proffered hand.  
"A Brit? " Cait nodded. "I've lived all my life in Queens, New York." Ruby smiled as she passed her phone to one of the guys." I told my sister I'd text her as soon as I landed. Have you ever seen them live?"  
"Who?"  
" Impractical Jokers, you know The Tenderloins. We've seen them four times. That's me and my sister Carly by the way. She met them once you know, in the park when they were filming once. Q's her favourite. I via between Q and Sal. To be honest, I think she's a bit obsessed with Q. Not in a weird way, though at least I don't believe she is. She did have the idea once of moving to Staten Island last year, but I talked her out of that. Whose your fav Cait?" Cait had zoned out. Ruby's voice echoed in Cait's head as she refocused on Ruby ' s smiling face. Bluff it out and pray to God she didn't end up rooming with her Cait had thought.  
"Oh, I'm not a fan. I'm more into comics and motorbikes they're what drew me to the shirt." Ruby looked deflated. Having thought she'd found a kindred spirit, Cait saw the joy fade from her face. The guy swapped Ruby ' s phone for Cait's. She'd pointed her finger at Ruby ' s shirt at the exact moment the guy snapped the camera at her. Cait withdrew her finger quickly as she'd thanked the guy and took her phone back. The group piled into the mini bus and Laura gave them a tour of the city before they were assigned their host family. With a sigh of relief, Cait found she wasn't with Ruby but another Brit by the name of Evie who was closer to Cait's age.  
Orientation was first thing Monday morning. They'd have the weekend to do some sightseeing before they began working in the orphanage. Cait was glad to get out of the stuffy minibus. Her hair was sticking uncomfortably to her sweaty forehead. She could feel beads of sweat trickling down her back. She was starting to fell decidedly grubby. The host family consisted of a husband, wife and two children. Cait and Evie were to share a room. The two beds were made up with just a bottom sheet on the mattress, another as a thin cover and two pillows. There was electricity. Plus a modern bathroom but no internet. Cait could feel the shower cubicle calling to her, but a shower was going to have to wait. Their hosts Bonnak and Chenda had prepared a traditional Khmer dinner for them fish amok, a kind of fish mousse with sticky rice and mango for dessert.The meal was good. Cait with Evie sitting next to her drank Tiger beer with Bonnak while Chenda cleared away. Halfway down the bottle it suddenly sank into Cait exactly where she was and how far she'd come. Thousands of miles away from home with people she knew nothing about. She'd gripped tighter onto the beer bottle. Her hand shook, and she'd breathed deeply to control the little wobble she was having.  
Finishing their beers both Cait and Evie got up and excused themselves. Together they headed for their room. Cait let Evie take the first shower. While she waited, she'd zipped open her suitcase and retrieved a vest top. She'd taken off the t-shirt and held it in her hands. There was just the faint trace of Q's scent on the garment now. It ponged a bit, and Cait knew that when she washed it, it wouldn't smell of him anymore. She'd taken her bra off and pulled on the vest top. She'd slipped her converse off and peeled her jeans down her hot, clammy legs. It felt good to get some air on her skin and get the jeans off. Closing her eyes, she'd transported her mind back to The Ritz.Images of her and Brian rolling over the queen size bed limbs entangled flashed across her closed lids. The look in his eyes as she'd lowered herself onto his cock. The way his pupils dilated to turn his eyes almost completely black when they came together starring into each other's eyes. His touch on her skin. his lips and tongue trailing over her breasts, searching across her stomach, dipping into her navel. The feel of his beard rubbing against her thighs as his head settled between them to lap, suck, nibble and tease till she couldn't hold back any longer.  
"Hey, you okay?" Cait shot her eyes open to focus on Evie ' s.  
"Oh.......er.......yeah......thanks. "  
"Showers free." Evie smiled. Cait stood and had grabbed a towel. She was wet with arousal her clit on fire. She'd quickly got into the shower and turned the head to massage. Was she going to do this right now, in a strangers house? Soaping her body, she thought about Q's strong hands running over her ass, caressing round to her thighs. She'd leant against the wall and let the hot water run down her body. Massaging her breasts she'd played with her nipples, twisting one then the other. She'd trailed her hand over her stomach down to her throbbing wetness. Running her fingers over her wet folds she'd then got hold of the shower head and directed it at her aching clit. She continued to play with her nipples as she'd let her fantasy carry her away.  
His hands were prying her legs apart. His head was leaning into her as he took the first long slow lick of her juices. The low noises he made in the back of his throat as his tongue plunged in and out of her. The feel of his middle and the ring fingers probing into her as her muscles pulsed against him.  
"Are you gonna come for me, Caitlin?" , she heard his voice whisper in her ear.  
"Uh huh. " she whimpered to herself. Her orgasm was strong it ran down her thighs as the water from the shower head pummeled at her skin.  
Reaching over she'd turned the water off. Cait had stepped out of the shower and started to dry herself.  
God, it was going to be a hell of a long time before she'd have any hope of seeing him again. Looked like she was just going to have take out her frustrations in the shower.

 

The house was dark, quiet and empty when Dee had got home. She'd slept most of the drive back. Lorraine and Dee had stopped only once for a quick toilet break on the way back.  
"You might wanna cover that up." Lorraine had said to Dee as they'd dried their hands in the toilets. Dee had looked at Lorraine not quite understanding what she was meaning. "That love bite on your neck."  
"Fuck, what love bite on my neck? "  
"That one." Lorraine had pointed at Dee's neck then she'd taken off her scarf and passed it to Dee. "Here, borrow this. Actually keep it, I've got others. " Dee had looped the scarf around her neck and with a weak smile at Lorraine they headed back to the car. An hour away from home Dee had got two text messages.  
Gone to Liberty ' s, be back at 11.00. SHE is pissing me off! Kristen.  
At Matt ' s with Jess and Jake, be back at 11.00. Seriously close to murdering my own twin right now! SHE is a fucking idiot! Kerry.  
Dee had rammed her phone back into her pocket. Would nothing ever change? They were twins for Christ sake, couldn't they just try and get on for once. The older the girls got, the more separated they became. Different interests, different friends, different life choices. It all boiled down to the fact they were heading down different paths and neither wanted to see things from the others point of view. She'd decided something needed to change, or she'd end up going completely insane with two bickering teenagers and a parent who could remember the names of work colleagues from fifty years ago but struggled to remember Dee's name, or who she was.  
Dee had surveyed the kitchen when the light clicked on. She'd been impressed; it was clean. A few used pieces of crockery had been washed and stacked drying on the drainer. Dee had sorted out Cait's and her own luggage. She'd stuffed a whitewash into the machine, added powder and softener and turned it on. Then she'd made a coffee and while the first load of washing sloshed from side to side in the machine did an inspection of the house.  
Before leaving for London Dee had told the girls that under no circumstances were they to have another party. It seemed the girls had stuck to their promise, either that or someone had done an excellent job at cleaning up. No, they wouldn't have gone against Dee's wishes. Especially after what had happened the last time.  
Upstairs Dee had poked her head round each of the girl's bedrooms.Both beds appeared to be neatly made, and there wasn't even a dirty sock on the floor. Their rooms weren't spotless, but Dee didn't expect that. Usually, Kerry was neater than Kristen. Kerry liked all her paints lined up in colour order with her brushes cleaned and grouped together in an old coffee jar. That's how her room looked now with just a few CD's laying on her draws. Kristen tendered to leave her make-up everywhere. Scattered any old how on her draws, over the bed and left on the floor. In Kristen's room though all her make-up was put in her many cosmetic bags. Her extensive nail polish collection lined up in multiple neat rows. Dee had felt like she'd walked into a different house, there wasn't even any straighteners left on the floor. Dee's room was as she'd left it. The bathroom was tidy too. Not even a wet towel tossed down. Dee had flicked the light on in Hannah ' s old room. Tomorrow her mum was moving into this room. A pile of boxes meant Helen had been busy. Her mum's clothes now hung in the wardrobe and lay in the draws. Dee had retrieved some bed linen from the airing cupboard and made the bed. In the boxes were a collection of her mum's things. A collection of framed photo's. A black and white wedding photo from 1967. Baby pictures of Helen and herself. Framed holiday snaps and cringe worthy school photo posers. Dee had arranged them on the draws. There was also at least three photo albums which she piled on a small table the other side of the bed. She'd sorted through a box of nik naks that her parents had acquired over the years. These Dee had placed on two shelves on the wall. Lastly was her mum's jewellery box. It was a vintage wooden box with an ornate leaf design on the lid. Dee remembered it always being next to her mum's bed right from when she was small. Opening the lid, it instantly started playing raindrops keep falling on my head. A silver locket nestled next to a pair of pearl earrings. A jade bracelet, the most intense shade of green she'd ever seen lay in the corner. A pair of ruby earrings and matching necklace laying next to a pair of sapphire earrings and necklace to match. Dee had closed the lid putting an end to the tinkling tune. All anniversary presents from her dad to her mum. Evey single piece so precious now he wasn't here.  
Dee had left the room and returned downstairs. She'd emptied the washer, put in another load and hung the washed clothes on the airer. She'd sat down at the kitchen table and dropped each of the girls a text.  
Ordering pizza now. Don't be late.  
They'd both replied instantly; they were on their way home now. Dee had placed the pizza order online then watched it progress. Just as the smiley face moved to 'your order is out for delivery' she'd heard the girls come in.  
"You've got my hoodie on again."  
"Well, you said I could wear it."  
"That was last week, I want to wear it for college tomorrow, but I can't now."  
"Why not?"  
"'Cause it stinks of fuckin' fags, that's why not!  
"Oh boo hoo!"  
"Fuckin' bitch." Kristen spat as she'd came into the kitchen. A look of thunder was clouding her face, as she was only just managing to contain her anger.  
"Mum, can you tell the pycho twin that if I want to play Ariana Grande at full volume, it's got fuck all to do with her."  
"Yeah, but your taste in music is shit!" Kerry grumbled walking into the kitchen and heading straight for the fridge.  
"Well, if I have to hear that bloody Paramore song on repeat once more I'm gonna lose the will to live!"  
"SHUT UP! " Dee didn't mean to shout, but both the girls turned startled silent faces towards Dee. She hardly ever shouted. "Sit down please." Dee shuffled in her chair as they each sat down.  
"First I'd like to say thank you, for keeping the place tidy while I've been away." They exchanged a furtive look between them as Kerry lowered her gaze shrugging her shoulders. "Auntie Helen said 'cause Gran is coming to live with us we shouldn't expect you to clear up after us as well as look after Gran. We helped each other clean our rooms and tried not to leave a mess."  
"Thank you I appreciate it" the girls smiled." but this has got to stop. The constant bitching and back biting at each other is not on. I want your Gran to come home to a claim relaxed atmosphere. I don't want you two at each other's throats night and day. Please try to be a little more tolerant of each other. "  
" I would if she'd stop nicking my stuff. You've got a decent hoodie of your own, " Kristen rounded on Kerry."If you want to borrow some make-up, you only have to ask you know. Don't just take." Kerry turned to face Kristen.  
"Don't nag at me then. When Matt and Jake come over, and we play music, music that we like." she jabbed her own index finger into her chest. "Don't have a go at me. You just embarrass me in front of my friends, and that just makes me more pissed off at you. " Dee had heard the knock at the door and went to get the pizza. It was like listening to an old married couple bickering. Kristen and Kerry were having a heated whispering conversation as Dee had came back through with the pizza. They immediately went quite as Dee flipped the lid and the three of them dove into the pizza. They ate in silence. Kristen shot a look at Kerry through barely veiled lids and turned towards Dee as she reached for her third slice  
"So, mum, we've decided to make some rules, and we're gonna stick to them. Honest. In' t that right Kerry?" The younger twin nudged her sister.  
"Yeah. We're gonna print them out and stick them to our bedroom doors." Dee nodded through a mouthful of pizza. It was a start she supposed. The girls then questioned Dee about London while Dee cleared up. Did Cait's flight get off alright? What had she done in London, anything interesting? Just walked Valentino in the park, had fun at Cait's party and went to Tate Britain and the V&A Dee had replied.  
Kerry had disappeared off to bed after pizza. Dee was making coffee for herself as Kristen hovered in the kitchen.  
"Can I leave this foul smelling hoodie for you to wash for me tomorrow mum while I'm in college?"  
"Sure."  
"Sorry about earlier mum. We will make this work you know."  
"Thanks, Kristen." Dee had smiled as they hugged. Kristen drew away from Dee a questioning look on her face.  
"Why have you still got this scarf wrapped around your neck mum?" Dee had shot her hand up to stop Kristen, but she'd already pulled the scarf loose and was sliding the material away from Dee's neck.  
"What's that on your neck?  
"What's what on my neck? Dee had shot her hand up to cover her neck where Kristen ' s beady eyes were roaming.  
"Right there, on your neck, looks like a love bite." Shit, this was so fucked up. Shouldn't this be the other way round? Dee had thought.  
"Oh, I caught my neck with the straighteners." Dee shrugged saying the first thing that came into her head.  
"Really?"  
"Yes, really. It's not a love bite; that's just too ridiculous,"  
"Yeah, your right, your too old for that sort of thing."  
" Thank's Kristen, but I'm not dead, yet you know!" Kristen had just smiled and left for bed too. She didn't buy the straighteners crap Dee had said. Kristen had burnt herself before on straighteners, and that mark on her mum's neck was no burn. It seemed like more had gone in London than her mum was telling. She shivered as she climbed the stairs. Yuck! The thought of people her mum's age having sex was totally gross. She didn't even want to consider the thought of her mum and sex. Some things just didn't go together. Parents and sex were one of them.  
Dee had lain in bed in the dark of her room. Eyes wide open watching flittering shadows creep across the walls and ceiling. Sleep was alluding her again. Turning onto her side, she cocooned the covers around her body. She'd burrowed her head into the plump pillow and closed her eyes.  
Dee stopped and rubbed her eyes leaning against the door frame. Why was she downstairs? She flicked on the tall up lighter. It's weak glow illuminating the ceiling spilling a small fraction of its light into the living room. Why was there a man sitting on her sofa? Hang on, why was Sal sat her sofa? He'd flown back to the States yesterday afternoon. Thinking Dee knew she'd gone to bed hours ago. Oh yeah, she hadn't been able to sleep. Somehow though she'd managed to fall asleep to thoughts of Sal. She blushed slightly when she remembered what else she'd thought about too.  
"I'm dreaming right?" Dee asked as she rounded the corner of the sofa. Sal turned and looked up smiled at her.  
" ' Cause you are. How else would I be in your house at this time of the night? She ran her hand through her hair in the hope of dragging it into some kind of order.  
"Not that I mind dreaming about you at all Sal but, why now, here, in my house? "  
"You were thinking about me, right? So, here I am. " Dream Sal smiled.Dee sat down on the sofa beside him.  
"So, here you are." She stroked his arm wondering why her mind had picked the living room and not the bedroom for this weird rendezvous.  
"Do you think I should have shown up in your bed Dee?  
"Well, you could have ya know but, I like this, it's good." She let her gaze roam around the mostly dark living room. "This is just so crazy." Dream Sal smiled at her words as he kissed the side of her neck.  
"It's your dream, Dee; it can be as crazy as you want it to be. " She tipped her head to the side leaving more of her neck exposed as dream Sal slowly kissed down her neck. She could feel her heart pounding as his lips stirred her. Closing her eyes, Dee let her breath out in a shuddering sigh. Dream Sal gently tugged the kimono she wore from her shoulder. He placed his lips on her skin. Dee wore a satin nightdress with thin spaghetti straps. Her nipples pushed against the material that barely covered her breasts. Dream Sal teased his fingers along the strap on her shoulder before it fell too.  
" I was just thinking, this is much better than starting the dream out in bed."  
"Glad you approve, but really this is all you Dee. In bed, or on the sofa, makin' out, or getting down and dirty, it's your dream. "  
"Let's 'make out' then. It's called snogging, though, where I come ."Dee smiled and turned around straddling his legs. The kimono fell away from her body as she splayed her hands across his chest. Dream Sal slid his hands up the outside of her thighs, then slipping his hands under the nightdress he gripped hold of her ass cheeks. Dee leant forward and kissed him Savouring the taste of him.  
"You taste of whisky."  
"Do I?" Dream Sal asked working his hands up her back gently pulling her closer, his eyes locked on hers. Dee felt like she was floating just kissing him and being kissed by him. Sitting back Dee looked at dream Sal intently. Then she began to unbutton the dark green shirt he was wearing. Keeping her eyes on his, she helped him off with his shirt. Her dark eyes traced over his chest as her hands flowed over his strong arms.She took the hem of her nightdress and pulled it over her head.His hands and mouth knew exactly where to go, but then this was her dream and dream Sal would know exactly where to go wouldn't he?  
"Shall I carry you to your bed?" Dream Sal asked his breath feathering against her lips. "Remember Dee; this is a dream. I can carry you, and I won't get caught carrying you naked through your house so don't worry." And so she let him. They seemed to glide through the dark rooms and up the stairs. The house was in complete dark silence it felt like they were the only people there.  
Once on the bed Dream Sal covered her with kisses from head to toe till Dee squirmed underneath him with need. He finally discarded the bottom half of his clothes and taking his cock he ran the tip along her wet folds.  
"Oh, dream Sal's just as much of a tease as real Sal."She moaned in pleasure and dug her nails into his buttocks. "Fuck me, fuck me hard Sal." Dream Sal pushed into her with one thrust.  
Oh..mm. ..you feel so good."He whispered in her ear as he trusted in and out of her. Dee pinched his nipples. "Oh yes! Arrrrhh " He thrust faster and harder, Dee's breasts bouncing with each movement he made.  
"Fuuuuccccckkkkk Dee, I'm gonna come. Fuuuuccccckkkkk "He cried.  
" Yeah, Ooooooh fuck, Arrrrhhhhh." Dee scratched at his back as her body shuddered against his. With one last long hard thrust, he finished inside her. Dee smiled to herself as her eyes closed. 

 

Groggily Dee flailed her arm at the snooze button as her alarm started ringing again. She reached over and switched it off. She squinted at the time. 6.11am. The details of the dream came back to her in a rush overwhelming her with a feeling of hopelessness. She'd lain here the night before thinking about Sal while sleep had eluded her. Then she'd gone and had this most vivid erotic dream about Sal. This man she was never likely to see again.  
Flinging the covers off, Dee sat on the edge of the bed for a moment. She was meeting Helen at the hospital at nine that morning. Heading for the bathroom, Dee blinked at the bathroom mirror in concentration.He'd been wearing a dark green shirt that had complimented his eyes. Was this how it was going to be? Her subconscious brain deep in sleep was conjuring up dream Sal in her home. Dee smiled to herself as she shut the bathroom door. Not as good as waking up to the real thing in a morning, but hey, the memory of the dream would no doubt stay with her for the rest of the day. That wasn't such a bad thing, was it? It beat getting stressed out with negative thoughts all day thought Dee as she craned her neck in the bathroom mirror and touched her fingertip to the fading mark on her neck.


	3. Who knows where the time goes

Chapter 3  
Who knows where the time goes.

Cait settled into the routine of Cambodian life at the orphanage straight away. Evie and herself woke and had breakfast every morning with Bonnak, Chenda and their two children. They got picked up in a minibus driven by one of the area coordinators, and they were each dropped off at the different orphanages they were helping at in Phnom Penn. Cait found she only had to suffer Ruby on the mini bus to and from their placement. She had a habit of talking too much, too fast, about shit. Her voice grated on Cait. She sounded like a terrible Cyndi Lauper impersonator on helium. She'd latched herself onto the younger members of the group and so tendered not to bother Evie, Cait and an Irish woman by the name of Aisling. Ruby had tried to start up a conversation with Aisling on the first day. When she'd replied to Ruby's questions in a thick Irish accent, Evie and Cait had watched Ruby's face twitch slightly. Aisling had repeated herself and Ruby's expression went blank before she totally ignored Aisling and started to talk to someone else. Cait smirked as Aisling winked at both her and Evie. Later talking to Aisling Cait realised she'd broadened her accent to sound more Irish on purpose. Cait silently applauded her for it. It meant Ruby stirred well away from any form of conversation with the three of them.  
Cait would help teach the children basic English sometimes assisting them with their homework. Most of the children in the orphanage had lost their parents to HIV. The orphanage their home. Cait's donated casino winnings helped buy some new sports activity equipment for the children. She spent time drawing and painting with the children, making origami animals, which she was rubbish at and singing and dancing.  
At the weekends they were free to do some sightseeing and explore the surrounding area. Cait visited The Royal Palace and Silver Pagoda and the National Museum in Phnom Penn the first weekend. She visited Angor Wat, many different temples and the Battambang Bat Caves. One weekend Aisling, Evie and herself hired a Highlander SUV together and headed to Sihanoukville. The drive was the most hair-raising experience Cait had ever had. The taxi driver only knew one speed, fuckin ' fast. They'd hired a boat from the Ranger station at the Ream National Park to the island of Koh Thmei. They spent the day on the uninhabited islands east beach with its yellow sand.  
Cambodian New Year fell in April. A National holiday over the whole country, Cait and her colleges had a week off. Cait, Aisling, Evie and Laura, their coordinator headed further afield. Setting off early Saturday morning. They travelled by bus to Battambang. Sunday they caught a taxi to Proipet on the Thai border. After passing through customers into Thailand, they took a tuk-tuk to the train station at Aranyaprathet. After a six-hour train journey, they finally arrived in Bangkok.  
Laura was a Bangkok pro having visited many times before, and Cait and the others were glad she was with them. She knew how to get around the city. Either by the sky train or the metro system. She knew the best places to eat, and the hostel they were boarding at she'd visited before.They visited the Buddhist temple of Pariwat and had fun hunting out the effigy of David Beckham carved inconspicuously into the alter amid the many carvings of the guardian demons. They took a boat to Bang Krachaeo an island of unspoilt greenery filled with mangroves and orchards. Cait found the calm and tranquillity of the island soothing after the vivid bustle of the city. They visited various markets and on the last day before their return to Cambodia Laura took them to a wooden shrine hidden behind a hotel in central Bangkok. The shrine to the goddess Tub Tim was a phallus shrine. Playing homage to the female fertility spirit. All around the shrine were both large and small erect dicks everywhere some fashioned from wood others from stone.  
"B' Jesus Laura! " exclaimed Aisling. "If I end up preggers after visiting this place it's all your fault."  
"Yeah well, it doesn't matter how many times you rub your hand over the head of that massive stone dick, you need the real thing to make a baby." Chimed in Evie. Cait smiled to herself.  
Sitting on the train watching the scenery pass her by Cait knew her time in Cambodian was coming to an end. There were just three weeks now till she headed back to the UK and Angie's wedding. Cait had already registered for a two-week placement in Peru in mid-June. She liked to occupy her mind. Working with the children at the orphanage or sightseeing kept her thoughts from wondering. This time on the train back her thoughts turned to Brian. She was still sending him the occasional picture text, but she hadn't had anything from him for a good few weeks now. How many times had she'd regretted not having more time with him? Too often she'd wondered what might have been if things had been different. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but the intense feelings she'd had for him in January were withering away the longer they were apart.  
The last weekend before the group bid their final farewells to Cambodia they all visited the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. None of the group of eight were prepared for the impact the museum had on any of them. To have the atrocities of what the Khmer Rogue did directly in her face, Cait felt the wind knocked right out of her. It was a moving experience and the journey back to their host families passed in silence. Cait, Aisling and Evie holding the others hands letting the tears flow that they'd tried so hard to keep in check at the museum.  
The evening before they left Cambodia Laura and the other coordinators arranged a huge get together at the main centre. Cait didn't go. She gave Evie some lame excuse about feeling ill. After Evie had gone Cait had lain on her bed staring into space. It hadn't taken her long to finish off what remained of her packing. She'd promised Evie and Aisling she'd keep in touch. They were both going back home to their families. Cait was heading back to the UK for the wedding and then on to Peru. What was to come after that was any bodies guess.

 

Easter came late. 16th of April was Easter Sunday, and it felt like Spring was late arriving too. As January had slipped into February Dee's life had moulded itself around the want and needs of her sick mother. Her life revolving around the routine her mum clung to each day for stability. Long dark evening in February she sat with her mum while she recalled her childhood. She'd talked about her parents and the grandparents Dee had never known. She could remember with clear clarity the day Dee's dad had first asked her out on a date. The way he'd proposed and the look on his face when she'd told him she was in labour with Dee. Dee's dad had, had to trek to the ambulance station in the snow because they had no phone and the roads were too bad for his motorbike. Every morning it was the same, though. Her mum would come down to breakfast and ask Dee what shift Len was working and would he be home soon because she needed to get his tea in the oven. And every morning Dee would have to explain that Len, her dad was gone. He'd died in 2012. It broke Dee's heart to see the expectant look fall from her face when she realised he wasn't going to walk through the door.  
The rules the girls had devised were working. No loud music. No helping yourself to each other's things without asking. No shouting or swearing in front of Gran and help with chores between college. They still got frustrated with each other. Rather than rant and rave at each other in the house, they would go down the garden, either together or apart. After lots of arm waving, gesturing and sometimes a little push they'd come back in having gotten whatever was bothering them out of their system.  
The dreams didn't stop. Sal would invalid Dee's night time thoughts on a recurring frequent basis. Dream Sal turned up frequently around the house. It cheered her up during the day, though. Dee often found a smile absently playing against the corners of her mouth when she thought about that particular night's dream.  
The daffodils made their belated appearance in the garden towards the end of March. Spring was at last chasing the winter nights away. It seemed so long ago now since January the memory of it was blurring in her mind. Sometimes she even wondered if it had happened.  
Easter Sunday found Dee at home with the girls, her mum, Helen and her fiance Dean. Hannah hadn't come home for Easter. Instead, she'd elected to stay in Lincoln with her boyfriend, Tom. Dee missed her not being home, but uni would be finished in a couple of months, and then Hannah would be home for good.Dee had already decided that Hannah could have her room and she'd sleep on the air bed in with her mum.  
Cait would be home in three weeks. Then it would be all systems go for what was rapidly turning into the wedding of the year.


	4. All mixed up inside

Chapter four.  
All mixed up inside.  
Sal watched Roz walk towards her car. The gate of her walk was defiantly changing. Twenty -eight weeks pregnant the birth of her child only three months away. Sal sighed and pushed his door shut. Why did he always think of the baby as hers, not theirs?  
From that first evening in January after getting back from the UK tour he'd known exactly what was on her mind. She'd not made it that obvious, to begin with, but Sal had caught the undercurrent of the vibe she was giving off that evening and over the preceding weeks.  
They'd entered into a weird none relationship. He was there for her. Day or night whatever the hour. She was glad of that but couldn't hide her disappointment when he said under no circumstances was he going to accompany her to any hospital appointments. She'd sat on his sofa that evening in January and passed Sal the scan image from her 12-week check-up.  
"That's its head." Roz had pointed at the round shape in the middle of the picture. "Their's it's arms and legs." He didn't see it. It just looked like a blob.She'd leant into him then placing her hand on his knee to take the picture back. He'd stiffened at her touch, and she'd quickly snatched her hand away. She'd not expected that reaction. Sal had relaxed and avoided her eye as she filled him in on her situation.  
She'd been dumped, the day before the first scan he'd turned round to her and had calmly announced that he couldn't do it, he couldn't pretend. The heartless bastard had packed his stuff and left her alone in her apartment. His parting shot was to tell her to text him when the baby came. She'd turned to him because she'd felt lonely. He'd been attentive when Sal hadn't and had made her feel wanted again. The irony now being she was the one left alone. She wanted a reconciliation. Sal could see it in her eyes as he'd passed her the box of tissues. Roz dabbed at her eyes, sniffing, and Sal had wrinkled his nose as she'd blown into the wet soggy tissue. Leaving Sal's that evening Roz had given Q a silent nod as she'd headed for the door. He'd stood in the kitchen doorway; arms folded leaning against the frame watching her go.  
"What's the story dude?" He'd asked when Sal turned back towards him after shutting the front door on Roz.  
"She broke up with the dick shit she dumped me for. Stupid motherfucker told her he couldn't cope with the situation. Well, hey dude,...." Sal waved his arms in exasperation. " get in line asshole, 'cause I'm first in the fuckin' queue. My brain is officially in meltdown over this, but hey I'm not gonna run for the goddamn fuckin ' hills and leave the woman, who may or may not be carrying my child....." He jabbed himself in the chest. "My flesh and blood, another human being growing inside her who shares my....my.....DNA and leave her to cope on her own. No, because unlike you, you stupid piece of shit, I actually have a pair of balls and I will step up the mark and.....and....."  
"Whoa, dude claim down..." Sal was now close up to Q his face in his friend's face. His cheeks were tinged a blazing red. "I get it, Sal, I know how you feel."  
"No, no you don't. You don't know how I feel."  
"I'm getting the idea, though, but go on tell me, tell me how you really feel." Sal had taken a step back blinking his eyes to stop himself from breaking down.  
"Nothing. I feel nothing. I feel numb inside and out." His shoulders had slumped as he heaved a huge sigh.  
His feelings hadn't changed. Quinn had said to give it time. How much time? The birth was getting closer with every passing week, and he just wasn't feeling it. The start of season six was airing now, and they were still recording more challenges and more punishments to meet their contractual deadlines. A couple of weekends a month they took the Santiago Sent Us Tour on the road. He fitted some stand-up sets in between times and he and Q even managed to fit in some whatsayyou. All the while he put on the happy, cheery Sal face for the cameras, the interviews, the press junkets and for the fans. He tried to do the same with the guys. They knew he was hiding his feelings behind this facade he'd built up around himself. He wouldn't discuss the baby. When they asked him how Roz was, he would answer, but the conversation never went any further. He tried his hardest not to think about London and Dee. Sometimes after a long day, when Sal was alone in the house he thought about her. He'd sit at the kitchen table, the meal he'd bought at the store cooling in front of him as the memory of her, still as vivid as ever came to him.  
The swing of her hips when she walked, the feel of her body pushed up close to his as they danced together lost in the moment. The silky feel of her hair slipping smoothly through his fingers. He dreamed of touching her again. Wanting to caress the soft, tender skin of her neck, and so much more besides. His food would end up cold and in the trash, and he'd go to bed with images of Dee dancing across his closed lids.  
Even when he spent time with Roz, he fantasised about Dee. Sal imagined sitting on his couch with her instead of Roz. He tried not to show it, tried for Roz ' s sake to be attentive but he was kidding himself, and she knew it too. Joe had told him she'd been pumping them for info. Joe said that she knew something had happened on the UK tour, that Sal was different since he'd come back, but the guys had stuck by Sal. They didn't tell her anything, and it frustrated the hell out of Roz. Yes, she wanted to get back with Sal. He'd forgiven other girlfriends when they'd cheated; surely he could do the same for her. She'd convinced herself the baby was defiantly Sal's.  
They were due to leave for the bus tour in a few days, and Sal had phoned Joe and asked him to come over to his. He needed to talk to Joe, not the others; they wouldn't get it. It had to be Joe.  
Joe let himself into Sal's announcing his entrance as he kicked his shoes off in the hall.  
"I'm in the kitchen Joe, " Sal called as he set about making coffee. Joe appeared in the doorway and leant against the door jamb watching the back of Sal as he moved around the kitchen. Sal turned when he heard the rustle of paper. Joe was holding a bag his fist bunched around the top. He cradled a larger one in the crook of his arm as he leant against the door.  
"What ya got there?" Sal asked over his shoulder. Stupid question really he knew exactly what was going to be in the bags.  
"Doughnuts.." Began Joe as he put the bag in his hand on the table, "and this......" He continued as he ripped open the bag he cradled, "Is my pastry baby. Say hello to daddy Sally pastry baby." Sal passed Joe his coffee and sat across from him as he rocked the bag of pastries in his arms.  
"Quit jerkin' about Joe. I need to ask you something, seriously Joe."  
Joe looked at Sal and bit into one of the pastries he'd taken from the bag. Stray flakes crumbled down from Joe's lips resting on the front of his shirt. He brushed them away and Sal cringed. He couldn't have this conversation and watch Joe brush leftover crumbs all over his kitchen. Joe's bright blue eyes watched Sal move out of his seat. Opening a cupboard, he came back with a plate and jabbed it into Joe's chest.  
"Thank's " Joe mumbled through his mouthful of pastry and Sal had to look away. He so knew Joe was doing this on purpose right now. "Whatsup?" Joe asked. Sal didn't know where to start. He laced his fingers around his coffee deep in thought for a moment as it's aroma wafted under his nose.  
"How did you feel when Bessie first told you she was pregnant?"  
"Excited. Then scared and amazed. Then back to excitement again. I always wanted to be a dad and hey, I thought I'm actually not sterile! Everything down there's working in the right way, and I've impregnated my wife. Boom! She's really pregnant. "  
"What about the first scan? When did it become real for you? Did you love Milana even before she was born? "  
"It was always real for me Sal. I loved Milana right from the beginning.Through all the scans, listening to her heartbeat and feeling that first kick. That was amazing, to know there was a life growing inside Bessie. It just made my love for her stronger, and I knew that one day she'd look up at me and say 'I love you, daddy. " Joe's throat was feeling tight as his voice croaked shakily on his last words. " Why?" He asked lifting his coffee to his lips.  
"Joe, I don't feel any of that."  
"You will."  
"I don't think so, Joe. No, I don't think, I know so. When Roz gets me to touch where the baby is kicking it freaks me out. I just keep thinking of fuckin' Alien!"  
"Give it time Sal."  
"That's what Bri keeps saying. Honest to God Joe I've tried, since January I've tried, but it's not happening. I'm not a fool Joe; I know Roz wants me to take her back. I feel like my life's on hold, Joe. If the baby is mine, then I've got to decide if I want to make a future with Roz. I'm not in love with her Joe. I'm scared of letting her in again, of getting too close and then finding the baby isn't mine. But then if I don't let my defences down am I gonna struggle to bond with the kid if it is mine? I felt more emotion when my sister was pregnant than I feel right now with Roz." Without realising Sal had torn the rip in the paper bag larger and now held a pastry between his fingers. He'd eaten two mouthfuls before his brain kicked in and he realised what he was doing. Sal cursed Joe for turning up with pastries. He wasn't hungry; he didn't really want it, but now he was eating it, the butteriness melting in his mouth, it tasted good.  
"Your brain won't let your heart feel how you should feel right now. That's you, Sal, that's the way you are. You're not going to be able to move on until the baby is born, I get that. Every single thing that happens in life happens for a reason. You and Roz are friends right Sal? You build a relationship from that. If it works, then it's all good if it doesn't then at least you can say you gave it your best shot. No one can help you more than yourself Sal. You have to do what ' s right for you. " Joe had moved on to the doughnuts now. Taking the first glazed ring between his fingers, he rammed the whole thing into his mouth in one go. Sal watched as Joe mashed the doughy sweetness in his mouth. He knew damn well he'd eaten the doughnut in one go on purpose. He pulled his eyes away from Joe as his friend swiped his tongue over his lips. Joe reached for his coffee and took a drink letting the liquid wash over the glaze that clung to his teeth.  
"Your true love is waiting for you somewhere Sal. Love will find you." Sal gave Joe a weak smile and shrugged his shoulders. The conversation turned to the bus tour and eventually Joe left after eating two more doughnuts. Sal made Joe take the spare pastries he'd not eaten with him. Closing his door, he contemplated Joe's words. Would Roz turn out to be his true love after all? 

Q scooped up his jeep keys from the side and headed out to his red pride of joy. He needed to run some errands and call in at the store and replenish the cat's food before he went away on the bus tour. He pulled out of his drive and headed in the direction of the nearest store.  
He was living his life in a sex drought at the moment, and he didn't like it. Yeah, he could jerk off whenever the mood suited him. No emotional ties were perfect up to a point. At least a box of tissues didn't give you 'that look' the morning after when you asked them to leave. But a box of tissues was an inanimate object and wasn't warm, affectionate and was rubbish at any kind of conversation.  
Through January and February, he'd sent Cait text messages in reply to the ones she'd sent him. There were picture messages of Cait at work at the orphanage surrounded by dark-skinned smiling children. Other photos were of Cait posing at different temples. One particularly favourite of his was Cait at sunrise in front of the Angor Wat temple. The temple's spires captured perfectly against the early growing light of the morning. The reflection of the temple and sun shimmering in the glassy water in front of the temple. There were pictures of Cait riding a bike on the streets of Phnom Penn mingled with others of her eating what he assumed was traditional Khmer food sunglasses perched on top of her head a broad smile across her face. He'd got a picture one time of her on a beach somewhere with two other women. She looked hot in the bikini she wore. The whiteness of the small triangles that just covered her breasts accentuating her tanned body.He'd jerked off to that photo. Visualising Cait behind his closed lids wearing the bikini rivets of seawater trickling down from her wet hair, over her shoulders and coursing down between her breasts. He hadn't needed to find any porn that time to help him along. That's when the absurdity of the situation hit him. Like Sal, he was acting as normal as possible on the surface. After work, after a weekend on tour, he always came home to an empty house with just his three cats for company. As much as he tried to hide it from his friends he couldn't hide it from himself. He was lonely. Some nights he'd just lay on his couch in the dark with his cats and get wasted. These times he couldn't even be bothered to play video games. He just drank whisky and got out of his head. Keeping busy kept thoughts of Cait at bay.He was losing interest in keeping in touch with her. Cait was thousands of miles away he couldn't just call her up and take her out some place. He couldn't call her up to come over either. It was beginning to drive him insane. He needed someone who was here for him right now. He needed to get laid. Only a few weeks back he'd gotten a picture message of Cait taken in Bangkok. She was sat straddled a giant stone cock. She was wearing the three coloured demons shirt, a pair of cut-off shorts and sandals. Her tanned thighs hugged either side of the giant phallus stone effigy.  
Q pulled the jeep into the kerb. Locking up, he dashed across the sidewalk into the store. He passed a young woman who was sticking an A4 poster to a tree just outside the store fronts. He barely gave her a second glance as he entered the store. The woman pressed the last piece of tape across the corner of the poster and turning her head ever so slightly watched Q walk straight through the open door.He disappeared from her view as he headed down an aisle. She'd spent most of that day sticking these posters she'd printed all over the local area. Now after almost five hours she'd hit the jackpot. She positioned herself near the doorway of the store. She could see Q in the store now if she craned her head a little. She tried not to make it look too obvious. He was at the till paying for his purchases. She shuffled the rest of the posters stacked in the crook of her arm and positioned herself just by the doorway. Q wasn't paying any attention to her, and that made it even easier to fake a little stumble and spin into him. As their bodies collided cat, food pouches fell and landed on the sidewalk. Thankfully they didn't split. The A4 posters the woman held now fluttered across the front of the store as a slight rush of breeze chased them further down the sidewalk.  
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." exclaimed the woman.  
"No, you don't need to apologise It was entirely my fault. I was in a rush and not looking where I was going. Here let me help you. " Q bent over and started to gather together the A4 posters she'd dropped. The young woman picked up his pouches of cat food.  
" Hey, my cat likes this brand too. You've got quite a few pouches here, your cat hungry?"  
"I have three hungry cats." Q replied shuffling the woman's posters together in his hands. "I'm gonna be out of town for a few days so I need to stock up for the cat sitter."He looked down at the top sheet of the posters and his gaze concentrated on the large printed lettering as he read.  
"You lost your cat?"  
"Oh yeah," the woman shrugged as they swapped with each other and she took back her posters from Q's grasp."I only moved here two and a half weeks ago. I kept her in for the first week and kept an eye on her for the second, but I've not seen hide nor hair of her for the past four days. Her food bowl is untouched, and I think that maybe she's wandered too far from my new place and doesn't know her way back. Hence the posters."  
"Can I take one?" Q asked as he took the cat food back from her. "I'll keep a look out for you if you like. This your number?"  
"Yeah, you can call me anytime. Thank you very much er.....?"  
"Brian. I'm Brian. And you are?"  
"Carly." She flicked her reddish brown hair over her shoulder and fixed her pale grey eyes on Q's dark expression before smiling at him.  
"Well. Carly, I hope you cat comes back soon. See ya." and he headed towards his jeep.  
Carly watched him get into the red jeep and pull away from the front of the store. Quick as a flash she dived towards her car, flung the printed posters over the back seat and pulled out into the oncoming traffic in her haste not to lose sight of him. Someone blasted their horn long and loudly at her, but Carly didn't care and just gave a v sign out of the window. Carly kept a safe distance behind Q not making it look too obvious that she was following him. Slowing down, Carly observed him pulling into his drive. Making a mental note of the address, she headed back to her place.  
Getting out the car, she collected together the posters and dumped them into the trash. She didn't have a cat, not even a lost one. Phase one of her plan had gone better than she'd ever expected. He'd call, she knew he would. They were destined to be together it was evident. If he didn't call, she had plan B up her sleeve as a backup plan. Her sister Ruby would be home in a few weeks from her placement in Cambodia. Carly hadn't told her yet she'd moved to the Island. Ruby would understand, though. She was never going to meet him properly and fulfil her dream of becoming Mrs Brian Quinn living in Queens. They were meant to be, and she knew they'd make the perfect couple. Nobody was going to get in her way.


	5. It's a nice day for a..........

Chapter five.  
It's a nice day for a ..........  
"Hola mi nombre et Caitlin.Como te llamas? Donde estan los sanitarios? Dee pulled her head in from the open window. She was sitting in the small window seat of the room she was sharing with Cait. Dee cradled a steaming mug of coffee between her hands as she inhaled the rich aroma of the coffee she looked over at where Cait lay in the bed they were sharing.  
"Que hora es?" Dee shuffled her bare feet further under her robe and shot Cait an exasperated look.  
"English, please. "  
"What time is it?" Cait asked. She stretched out her body under the covers and tried to burrow her head further into the plump pillow. She'd been back in the UK three weeks. After being checked through arrivals at Heathrow, Cait had headed for Birmingham. Leaving Cambodia on the Friday by the Monday evening was in the spare room at Matt and Faye's in Birmingham. To say she felt awkward and out of place was an understatement. Matt and Faye were brilliant. Cait felt like her life was more rounded now, more whole in a way she'd not felt for a long time. Coming back to the UK she felt like she was trying to ram her round peg of a life into a square hole, it didn't fit anymore. She'd spent the two weeks in Birmingham sorting her clothes out and taking Spanish lessons. She'd taken a blast out into the countryside on her Harley too. It had felt good to feel the machine throb between her thighs as she'd manoeuvred through the twisting and turning country lanes. Cait was flying out to Peru in four days and was hoping the basic Spanish she'd learnt over the past few weeks would stand her in good stead when she arrived in Peru.  
"It's five past seven."  
" Gracias Dee. I I thought it was later than that." Cait sighed. " The wedding's not till one."  
"It's only six hours away Cait. We've got loads to organise before then."Dee watched Cait sit up and swing her legs over the edge of the bed. "You can have first dibs on the bathroom if you like Cait. I'm happy to wait."  
"Okay then, if you're sure." and standing Cait padded over to the bathroom. She stretched and yawned as she walked around the bed. Dragged her fingers through her hair Cait reached for the door handle of the bathroom. Dee heard the door shut behind Cait and then the bolt slide across.  
Dee turned back to the window. Birds were chirping in the trees with their newly unfurled lush green leaves. The wedding venue was a large Victorian style house built in the 18th century. It had been completely turned over as a wedding venue by the present owners for almost ten years now. Set in the picturesque Lancashire countryside, Dee's eyes followed the roll of lush green hills into the distance as she sat in the window. Dee could see cows grazing in the fields to her right. Their low bays echoed over the lawn of the house where the pagoda stood waiting. It was bare now but in a few hours time would be adorned with decorations for the afternoon's ceremony. It had rained in the night, and Dee could just catch the fresh rain smell in the air. The sun was slowly rising higher in the sky with the promise of a pleasant, warm late spring day. Dee heard the shower start in the bathroom as she sipped at her coffee. Neither of them had said anything about London in January. Dee wanted to ask if Cait was still in contact with Q but didn't know how to. Maybe it had all fizzled out, and she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to risk upsetting her. Dee went back to looking out the window and watched as the venues staff began arranging things around the pagoda. 

"How's your mum Dee?" Cait asked. They 'd each had a manicure followed by a pedicure and had even had a back massage to relieve any stress they may have been feeling. Cait had her hair styled while Dee had her make-up done, then they'd swapped over. The ceremony was forty - five minutes away, and Dee was fastening the buttons on the back of Cait's dress. Cait held her hair to one side as Dee finished looping the last button. Letting her hair loose from her fingers the chestnut curls bounced skimming across her shoulders. Dee passed Cait a fluted glass of champagne and took a sip of her own before fixing her gaze on Cait.  
"Not good Cait. Mum can hardly walk now. She's gone down hill really fast Cait. Only a few weeks ago she could still manage a walk in the park, but now, she struggles even to get up and down the stairs. She's incontinent now too. I feel bad for the girls having to see her this way. It's like she's not my mum anymore. I feel like I'm looking after this old shell of a woman and my mum's essence is lost inside her, and I can't get her back. Helens looking after her this weekend at mine."  
"What about you Dee?"  
"Me? Oh, you know me Cait. I'm all right, just. I started a salsa dance class just after Easter one afternoon a week. It's good; I like it. It helps me to forget." It wasn't just her mum's disease she was trying to forget, though. The events of January were fading into the dim distant past now. It was beginning to feel to Dee like it hadn't really happened at all. Cait's hazel eyes searched over Dee as she lowered her head, her braided hair a little longer than it had been the last time she'd seen her before heading off to Cambodia. Dee pulled her dark brown gaze up and gave Cait a tight smile followed by a gentle shrug of her shoulders.  
"So, how do we look?" Cait asked taking a swift drink from the fluted glass then holding her arms out. Cait was wearing sage green. It was a nicer shade of green than peppermint. The full-length elegant taffeta dress just grazed across the tops of her matching shoes, the dresses shoulder straps sitting just on her shoulders. Dee's dress was the same style but the colour of a Scottish purple heather.  
"You look good," replied Dee. "Next to you I'm that pale I look anaemic. " and Dee held her arm next to Cait's.  
Turning towards the opening door of their room Dee and Cait found Lorraine's smiling face appear followed by Emma. Lorraine's dress was the same as Dee's and Emma's the same sage green as Cait's.  
"The bride and bride are nearly ready, you two all set?" Lorraine asked coming into the room and sitting down on the edge of the bed. Her medium length dark blonde hair in a similar matching style to Cait's. She held a fluted glass of half drunk champagne and taking a swift sip giggled a little.  
"How many of those have you had?" asked Dee.  
"Too many. " sighed Emma. "They're not even married yet, and she's already squiffy." Dee tutted at Lorraine. "'Cuse me, everyone, need the bathroom," exclaimed Emma her face falling she dashed for the bathroom door. A minute later they could hear her as plain as day throwing up.  
" She's been throwing up all morning, " grumbled Lorraine. "I nearly chucked my guts myself listening to her heaving down the ........ Oh, hang on.,..." Lorraine looked at both Cait and Dee. "Is she? Do you think she is?" They both nodded as Emma came back out of the bathroom.  
"You're pregnant! " All three chorused together pointing at Emma. She staggered back against the bathroom door. Flattening her hands either side of herself Emma steadied her back against the wooden door for support, shock written on her face. She nodded quietly then her shoulders slumped, and she looked at the floor. Cait was across the room in a flash. She pulled Emma into a tight hug.  
"I knew you'd get pregnant this time Spud," Cait whispered into her ear. " How far gone are you?" she asked. Emma pulled her eyes up from the floor to look straight into Cait's sparkling hazel eyes. Holding onto the tops of Emma's arms Cait regarded her expression with a huge smile on her face. Emma was looking nervous.  
"11 weeks. I go for my 12-week scan next week. Honestly Cait I'm a nervous wreck." Cait had a puzzled look on her face. Was something wrong? "I had multiple eggs implanted, next week I find out just how many babies I'm having. I know there's more than one." A stricken look crossed Emma's face as she chewed on her lip.  
"Quads!" said Cait waving her finger at Emma a knowing look on her face. "Told you didn't I."  
"When are you due Em?" Dee asked.Emma's eyes were lowered again as she cast her gaze across the carpet.  
"Christmas Day. Odds are I won' t get that far though with it being a multiple birth. Don't say anything to Angie, will you? Not today at any rate. Todays about Angie and Zoe I don't want to steal her limelight. I wasn't gonna say anything till after next weeks scan, but you three caught me out."  
"I hope you've packed up the running and Gym Emma."  
"Yes, Nurse....."Emma smiled at Cait. "I'm being good and taking care of myself. I decided if I didn't get pregnant this time I was going to train for next year's London Marathon instead. That's gone onto the back burner for now, though. I still might do it, though, I want to run to raise money for the local neonatal unit."  
"How's Sam?"  
"Oh, he can't stop smiling. He's got this stupid Cheshire cat grin on his face all the time. He's even smiling in his sleep." Once again they all enveloped Emma into tight hugs.  
"We need to go back to Zoe, Em it's nearly time," Lorraine said ushering her towards the door. "See you two downstairs with Angie. Just fifteen minutes to bride time." Cait shut the room door after Lorraine and Emma and turned to Dee.  
"It's all change just lately don't you think Dee? You ready? " Dee nodded and followed Cait out of the room. It might be all change for the others, but Dee felt her life had ground to a solid stand still.  
Knocking on Angie's door Cait and Dee waited nervously in the corridor for their friend to answer. Angie opened the door with a swift sweep standing for a moment framed in the doorway.  
"You look absolutely stunning." gushed Cait as Dee clasped her by the shoulders giving her a reassuring hug.  
"It's not too much is it?" Angie asked shyly.  
"You've never been one to hide your assets before Ang."  
"It's not too boobie? "  
"Oh Ang, if you've got it flaunt it and you've defiantly got it. You look amazing." The dress was ivory taffeta with a strapless basque top that tied corset style at the back. Antique silver beading cascaded around the front and back of the basque top. The skirt hugged Angie's hips then flowed out mermaid style around her feet into her train. She wore a flower crown of sage green and lavender that matched her bouquet. Dee and Cait each held smaller bouquets that matched Angie's of lady's slipper orchids, roses and white stargazers lilies mixed in with greenery. The procession of three headed to the stairs. Cait and Dee picked up Angie's train as they carefully negotiated the stairs.  
The seating around the pagoda was arranged so that Angie and Zoe could walk down separate aisles at the same time and meet in front of the celebrant and their gathered family and friends.  
Lorraine and Emma stood with Zoe waiting as Angie approached with Cait and Dee. Zoe wore an ivory satin fitted gown with thin straps and a draped bodice with a fishtail skirt that flowed into a short train. The dress hugged Zoe's slight curves in all the right places showing off her slender silhouette to perfection. Zoe's flower crown matched Angie's and nestled delicately in her short flame red hair. Zoe turned her sparkling deep blue eyes in Angie's direction as the two women faced each other. The atmosphere was thick with emotion as Angie bent her down to gently touch Zoe's forehead with hers. Their eyes locked.  
"I love you." They both whispered to each other together.  
"Let's go get married then." smiled Angie. KD Langs Simple began to play as they both walked out towards the pagoda.


	6. ....white wedding.

Chapter 6  
..........White wedding.

The venues staff had decorated the white wooden pagoda with flowers that matched the wedding parties bouquets. The delicate buds entwined around the trellis where the celebrant stood. Angie and Zoe stood facing each other as the celebrant introduced herself and began the ceremony. Lorraine and Emma took their seats next to their partners as Angie and Zoe came to face each other in front of their close family and friends. Cait sat next to Dee. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Dee clasp and unclasp her fingers repeatedly. Cait tried not to let Dee's movements distract her from listening to the celebrant. Dee pushed her hands between her thighs the feel of the taffeta crisp and soothing against her palms as she tried to stop herself fidgeting. Cait's eyes were once again drawn to Dee's hands only a minute or so later. Dee was rubbing her thumbs against her index fingers in a quick circular motion. Cait knew that was a definite signal Dee was nervous. She was doing a reading part way through the ceremony and nerves had now kicked in. It was distracting Cait. Cait reached and took Dee's right hand in her left hand to still her movements. She squeezed Dee's fingers tightly and gave her a reassuring smile. Dee gripped Cait's fingers for dear life her nails digging vigorously into Cait's flesh. Cait realised now Dee had hold of her she wasn't letting go. The celebrant continued with her speech and Dee's grip got tighter. Evey syllable the celebrant spoke was taking Dee closer to the moment she'd have to get up in front of everyone.   
"Now we will have a reading by Angelica and Zoe's friend Dee." All eyes turned to Dee. Cait managed to prise her hand out of Dee's firm grip.Cait smiled broadly into Dee's nervous expression and gave a gentle pat to her knee as a sign of encouragement. Dee's tongue felt like it was sticking to the roof of her mouth. Dee cursed to herself. Why did she agree to this? Dee felt sure she was going to look a complete fool. Standing up in front of everyone, with nothing coming out her mouth. She'd memorised the words over the past few weeks, but now as she moved towards the front, her mind went blank. There was silence as Dee scanned her eyes around the gathered group. Her gaze came to rest on Cait. Smiling Cait shot her thumbs up in encouragement. Dee took a long deep breath to calm her beating heart. She focused her eyes on the steps that lead up to the terrace at the back of the lawn and began.  
" I'll be there my darling, through thick and through thin  
When your mind's in a mess and your head's in a spin  
When your plane's been delayed, and you've missed the last train.  
When life is just threatening to drive you insane  
When your thrilling whodunit has lost its last page  
When somebody tells you, you're looking your age  
When your coffee's too cool, and your wine is too warm  
When the forecast said "Fine", but you're out in a storm  
When you're quick break hotel, turns into a slum  
And your holiday photos show only your thumb  
When you park for five minutes in a resident's bay  
And return to discover you've been towed away  
When the jeans that you bought in hope or in haste  
Just stick on your hips and don't reach round your waist  
When the food you most like brings you out in red rashes  
When as soon as you boot up the bloody thing crashes  
So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear...  
When you break a rule, when you act the fool  
When you've got the flu, when you're in a stew  
When you're last in the queue, don't feel blue 'cause  
I'm telling you; I'll be there for you." After a gentle round of applause, Dee walked calmly back to her seat. In reality, she wanted to rush away from everyone's kind eyes as quickly possible and withdraw into herself to get her breathing under control and calm down the hammering in her chest that was her heart. She could cope with dancing in front of an audience, hiding behind the music. Standing up in front of people and speaking was different. She thought her voice sounded stupid and a PA system just seemed to make it sound worse to Dee's ears.  
The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur for Dee as Angie and Zoe exchanged rings, and the register was signed.  
"It is now my great joy to introduce Angelica and Zoe partners in life ....For life. " declared the celebrant. Angie and Zoe kissed.  
Evey body clapped as the newly married couple, their families and friends retired to the lawn and gardens for drinks and canapes. 

After the wedding, breakfast and speeches in the ballroom family and guests mingled in the Cellar Bar or Leather Lounge as the ballroom got transformed by the staff for the evening party.   
Emma, with Sam close by her side, headed upstairs to their room. Dee watched Sam gently guide her away from the bustle of the wedding party; his hand placed protectively around her waist. Emma was right; he didn't seem to be able to stop smiling. Lorraine and her husband, Lee retired to their room too. Close family members were all staying at the 18th-century house along with the wedding party. Dee and Cait had offered their room as a freshen up area for other guests who had travelled to the venue for the day. Dee sat in one of the leather chairs in the Leather Lounge people watching. She accepted a drink from an unhappy looking waitress who was concentrating hard on the tray she carried. She'd smiled at the woman. In response, the woman managed to smile back her, her red lips in stark contrast to her pale complexion. She wasn't bad looking when she smiled but then the waitress expression had quickly turned straight again. Dee couldn't decide if the look on her face was from concentration or if she really didn't want to be there. Turning away from Dee the woman's straight black hair swung across her back in a ponytail. She defiantly had a gothy look about her Dee thought as she moved out of Dee's view. Dee sipped at her drink as her eyes roamed around the room.  
Janice, Angie's sister, sat in a chair not too far away from Dee, a sleeping child cradled in her arms. She was smoothing her fingers over the child's forehead as he slept. Col came then and scooped the child up into his arms and headed for the stairs. Their other two sleeping children Col had carefully carried to their room already. The events of the day had tired them out completely. Dee smiled to herself. An hour or so and they'd be awake, running rings around their parents and all the guests till they tired themselves out again.   
Dan, Sam ' s brother, had also been invited. Angie and Zoe had named him as one of their referees in their pursuit of adopting a child. He was a G.P and although they weren't close Angie and Zoe held him in high regard. Dee watched him now hovering by Cait, trying to look inconspicuous as he sipped at his drink. It had been a beautiful day, and it wasn't over yet

 

After Angie and Zoe took to the dance floor for their first dance people began to relax and let loose a little bit more. Dee and Cait danced and drank as the evening wore on into the night.  
With a sigh of relief, Cait managed to slip away from the dance floor. She was feeling tired and a little bit drunk. Standing out on the terrace in the cooling night air, she pressed herself against the wall where the ivy trailed. The music from the ballroom was drifting out into the still night air. Cait spotted Dan stumble onto the terrace and inwardly groaned. He swayed unsteadily on his feet before he grabbed hold of the large open French doors. He clung there for a moment before his eyes focused on Cait.  
"What you doin' out her Cait? Come back inside and join the fun." He swung the beer bottle he was holding wildly in her direction. "Unless you came out here for a reason. " and he purposely sauntered over to her.   
"Get lost Dan. You're drunk." Cait had sneaked out not just to get some air but to get away from Dan too. Every time she turned around he was there. Either right behind her or giving her a long starring look from the other side of the ballroom as she'd danced with Dee. He was getting right on her nerves.  
"H. ..h. ...h...heeeeey Cait. There's no need to be like that." He pouted sticking his bottom lip out in a mock sullen fashion. "You know, you look so hot in that dress Cait. I....I.....I.......really fancy you. I always have." He slurred. Moving himself closer to Cait he trailed a finger along her collar bone. Cait turned her head away from him a grimace on her face. She got the full force of his beer breath in her face; she didn't like it.  
"Gerroff me Dan!" Cait said trying to wriggle her shoulder away from his fingers. His brow furrowed as his dark expression clouded over his deep-set blue eyes.  
"What's wrong Cait? My accent not American enough for you?"  
"What's that supposed to mean?" she rounded on him, her hazel eyes flashed a trace of annoyance.  
"Hit a nerve with that one did I Cait? I saw you all over him before you headed off to Cambodia to 'find yourself' in January. You know you were just an easy fuck to a guy like him don't you?" He pushed himself further into her body.She placed her flat palms on his chest and tried pushing him away, but he was solid and wasn't budging. Stuffing the beer bottle into his pocket, he tutted at her then wrapping his hands around her wrists; he effortlessly moved her hands off him. With one swift movement, he had her pinned by the arms against the brick wall as he ground his groin into her. Cait could feel his hardness pushing against her thighs "How about spreading your legs for me Cait?" He cooed into her ear. "What do ya say Cait? Loverboys stateside and I'm right here. We could have a really good time, you and me." Cait had never seen this side to Dan before, and she didn't like it. Taking divisive action, she brought her knee up between his legs and rammed her knee into his groin. His eyes flew shut as he dug his teeth into his bottom lip. His face shone a brilliant shade of scarlet as he staggered back clasping himself. Recovering quickly he swung his blues eyes up at Cait his brow furrowed low over his eyebrows.  
"Nice shot Cait." He conceded ruefully. "Seems you're not so easy after all. Just remember Cait...." Dan swayed back in her direction his face once again close to Cait's. "While you're here doing the butter wouldn't melt act, he's probably fuckin every woman with a pulse in the whole state of New York." This time, Cait's hand hit the side of his face. The sound echoed over the stillness of the garden as Dan ' s drunken glare darkened. He pulled the beer bottle back out of his pocket and took a long swig of it as he moved away from Cait. "Truth hurts Cait.....truth hurts.." he called over his shoulder as he passed Dee coming out onto the terrace. Dee drink in hand had looked at Cait before she turned. She hitched her skirt up and carefully walked down the stone steps before plonking herself down on the last few to look out over the inky black of the lawn. She knew Cait would join her; she didn't have long to wait.   
Cait plonked herself next to Dee on the steps as her friend silently passed the large glass of booze over. Her hand was stinging from the slap she'd given Dan and the cold glass soothed the tingling feeling in her fingers. Cait wrinkled her nose.  
"God, that's strong!" she exclaimed passing the drink back. Her voice was shaking slightly as the edge of her temper dissipated.  
What the fuck was that all about?" Dee asked.   
"Dan, being a dick head. "  
"Thought so, he's been following you around all night with those puppy dog eyes of his desperate for his chance to make a move on you."  
"I hit him. Fuckin' hurt my hand, but I hit him good. I kneed him in balls too." Dee took a large mouthful of the vodka. She stifled an outright loud laugh as she gulped the vodka down.  
"What did he say?"   
" Oh...nothing important." shrugged Cait.  
"That's fuckin' bull shit Cait !"   
" You're sooo drunk right now you always swear more when you've had a few."  
" No shit, fuckin' sherlock. Yes, I am drunken. Dan said something about Q didn't he?" Cait's silence said it all. "You still in contact with him? "  
"A bit. We were swapping texts when I was in Cambodia, but things have gone quiet now. What about you? You in contact with Sal?"Dee's laugh echoed into her glass as she drank more of the vodka. She shook her head. "Sometimes I think it was all a pigment of my imagination and it didn't really happen at all."  
"Oh, it was real alright." Cait sighed. "I gave him my top three Harley Quinn comics ya know, that last morning at The Ritz."   
"Whaddya do that for?   
"I just got this feeling, I dunno Dee it felt right."   
"Do you think you'll see him again? Or even see your comics again for that matter?"  
"Yes, I really believe I will."   
"Your de....de. .....delusional. He's gone and so are your comics. " Dee passed Cait the rapidly emptying glass of vodka. Cait took a mouthful and swallowed it quick the alcohol burning her throat.   
"I miss the sex, though." Cait looked out across the dark lawn. She knew deep down that what Dan had said was more than likely the truth. The thought that he'd probably moved on, hurt. She thought they'd had a connection some sort of bond. Four months down the line and Cait's semi-drunk mind was screaming at her. Time to face up to reality Cait. Yeah, so you feel for him hook, line and sinker. Hooked and fucked, that's what you were. Just another fuck in the grand scheme of things that's called life. "Come on....." Cait said rousing herself from her thoughts. She shivered as she stood up. Goosebumps prickled along her bare arms as she shivered again. "It's cold out here, and I need another drink. I'm not nearly drunk enough." She reached her hand down to help Dee up. Dee swigged back the last of the vodka.  
"Well. I'm defiantly drunk enough, but h...h....hey I'll have another. I can't watch you have a drinky alone." Cait held onto Dee's hand as they climbed the stone steps one drunken, wavering step at a time. "I hope the DJ's not playing any mushy, slushy, smoochy stuff yet. I'm not in the mood for so much loooooove." Dee sniggered to herself as she followed Cait back into the ballroom. "Shouldn't have come to a bloody wedding, if you weren't in the mood for loooooove then should you? Dee said scolding herself out loud.   
After some more dancing and plenty more vodka, the DJ had moved the pace down, and was indeed playing more smoochy, sentimental stuff. Cait lay stretched out on the padded seating her head in Dee's lap. She was asleep. Tiredness, fatigue from all the dancing washed down with copious amounts of vodka had caught up with her. Dee stroked her fingers through Cait's hair. The feel of her smooth hair between Dee's fingers soothed her as she watched the dance floor.   
Angie and Zoe a blur of ivory, their bodies moulded as one swept through her view. Janice and Col, hardly moving to the music in a corner. Her head was resting against Col's chest as memories of their marriage hiccup in January long forgotten. Their new found understanding of each other and love shining through in Col ' s eyes as they danced. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead as he snaked his arms closer around Janice. Emma and Sam, then Lorraine and Lee both couples loved up smooched in and out of Dee's view. Brandi Carlisle ' s voice laced with emotion flowed over the ballroom's dance floor.   
Dee sat there with Cait's head in her lap as the tears flowed unchecked down her already wet cheeks. God, what she wouldn't give to be in someone's arms right now, it felt like an actual physical ache.  
All these lines across my face  
Tell you the story of who I am  
So many stories of where I've been  
And how I got to where I am  
But these stories don't mean anything  
When you've got no one to tell them to  
It's true .....I was made for you  
Oh yeah, well it's true.....that  
I was made for you.

Dee stepped down the stairs into the empty ballroom. It was in complete darkness. She blinked her eyes adjusting to the darkness; then she caught movement in the shadows. Spotlights clicked on sending bouncing light against the spinning glitter ball. It's twinkling diamond patterned light speckled across the floor and walls. She didn't need to ask anymore if she was dreaming, she knew she was. Dream Sal moved into the middle of the dance floor. He extended his arm out towards Dee. She picked up the long skirt of her dress slightly as she sauntered over to him.   
"You've missed the wedding." Dee smiled.  
"I'm not here for the wedding. " Dream Sal said sliding his extended arm around her waist pulling her into him. Dee trailed her right hand over his upper arm to rest lightly on his shoulder. She fluttered her fingertips over his tie feeling the material glide smoothly against her touch. Dee felt his face come down to her left ear, his breath warm against her cheek. Dream Sal's gaze scanned down over her bare shoulders then stared straight down at her breasts. Her cleavage swelled against the bodice of the braids maids dress as he panned his eyes back up to Dee's face. Her heart beat in trepidation as music drifted over the dance floor. It grew louder as if coming from a distance, but Dee couldn't see any DJ. The soft, soothing jazz captured hold of her soul. The music deep, smooth, undulating cast a slow gyrating rhythm between them. Dream Sal ran his right hand down Dee's arm. Smoothing their palms together they linked fingers. Dee innately rested her other hand on his shoulder feeling Dream Sal's other hand caressing the small of her back. She tilted her head up at Sal looking fixedly into his eyes. Dream Sal looked at Dee quietly smiling as he gazed into her dark eyes. Dee pulled her eyes from his face and leant her head into him smelling his cologne as they began to move slowly. Dream Sal led, and they stepped together. Their bodies moved as one as they swayed together the music soothing and enticing.  
Damn it! Damn, damn, damn it! Dee's eyes shot open to find Cait's hand splayed across her face. Sleeping Cait had flung her arm out and caught Dee right across one cheek and smacked her nose waking her up. She'd never get back to the dream now. Damn it! Dee gently moved Cait's arm and closed her eyes. Sleep claimed her quickly, but the dream became elusive. It's whispery threads disappearing out of reach as dream Sal became unobtainable.


	7. You'll regret it

Q looked at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. He didn't like what he saw. The harsh light of bathroom showed up his bloodshot eyes. A red tinge tainted his skin under his eyeball sockets, and they looked swollen and puffy. He dragged his fingers through his messy hair. His eyes reflected the shame he felt back at himself. Was he really going down this path again?  
The bus tour had finished. It had been a blast. Getting back home Q had left his luggage discarding in the hall. His eyes had settled on the folded A4 poster. He'd weighted it underneath the dish he used for his keys. He'd remembered the girl with the clear grey eyes outside the store, fretting over her lost cat. He'd wondered if he should call her, ask about her cat. She was cute after all. He'd Picked the folded poster up. Then he had rammed it deep into his pocket. Maybe later, he'd thought.  
Filming of Season 6 was coming to an end. Returning to film at the store and park the week after the bus tour Q had found that things didn't seem to go his way. Every challenge he'd failed. Which of cause meant only one thing. When Joe edited that episode together, he'd be the loser. Q had known then that right now his three best friends were hatching some ridiculous punishment for him. He was annoyed with himself and took it out on some of the crew. A look at the other guys had instantly told him he was out of order. He'd apologised to the crew for being a cranky bastard all that week. Just before he'd left for home at the end of his shitty week, he'd caught the snatch end of a conversation between two crew members. Their voices had lowered as he'd walked passed them out of their officer's building. He could feel their stares burning into his back their words had echoed in his head. 'Someone needs to get laid'. Did they really think that was the answer? Oh Brian's in a foul mood, hey, but it'll be okay once he gets his rocks off, then normal Q service would be resumed. He'd brooded the whole of the drive home. Coming through the front door, his eyes immediately feel on the folded A4 poster. He'd tossed it out of his pocket that morning before leaving the house. It was dog-eared, crumpled and slightly torn. Chucking his keys down he unfolded the poster. Q pulled his phone out and decided to call Carly.  
She'd answered on the first ring, thanked him for asking about her cat, but unfortunately, there was still no sign of her. He'd caught the slight waver in her voice. He'd asked her for a drink on the pretext of cheering her up. Her voice had brightened straight away, and they'd arranged to meet.  
They'd met up at a local bar. Shots had followed beers mingled with lots of flirting by both parties; until he'd asked her back to his.  
Their mouths had mashed together within seconds of getting through the door. Both Carly and Q seemed to be as hungry for it as each other. Carly's skirt slipped down her legs closely followed by her knickers as Q fumbled with his belt and fly.  
He'd fucked her up against the hall wall his need to feel his cock explode inside her over riding any needs she had. He'd been fast and quick thrusting into her hard as his body jerked jetting his cum into her tightness. He'd immediately fucked her again on the stairs. Finally getting her upstairs they'd tore at what remained of each other's clothes before she'd gone down on him. Her tongue had working over his hard thick cock. Her lips had taken the velvety head of his cock as she'd slurped her way down his length. He'd grabbed her hair as her head had bobbed between his thighs thrusting himself to the back of her throat as he came. During the dark hours of the night, he'd fucked her twice more.  
She was in the bedroom now. Laying naked in his bed beneath his sheets. The first rays of the new day were inching through the bathroom blind. The question was who were you cheating if while fucking one person you were thinking about another. He didn't even know if he liked this Carly girl. She was hot, good body, great legs but was he being fair? He hoped she didn't expect any more. He wasn't looking to get into anything heavy, hell he wasn't even looking to get into anything at all. She was just a one night fuck. He hoped she understood he wasn't after something permanent. God, he felt like a complete shit. How many times had he told himself he wasn't gonna do this anymore? He didn't want or need a relationship. All that love shit freaked him out. In a way, he was cheating himself too. Looking for a quick fuck was easy. Rather than someone, he could open up to. A woman who he could be a friend with as well as a lover, not just some fuck buddie. A woman who accepted all his idiosyncrasies who didn't demand and didn't want more than he could give. Was such a woman out there? Did they even exist?  
Maybe she only existed in the hedonistic amber glow of his memories. He blew out a long breath and leant further towards the mirror over the sink. He pulled his hair back from his forehead to reveal the tiny sliver of the mark against his temple. Month by month the mark was getting fainter and fainter. His breath made a patch on the mirror fog over. He breathed harder over the fogged up patch.Removing his hand, he let his hair flop back over his brow. Without thinking, he drew CC with his index finger in the fogged up patch and then watched as the fog patch disappeared taking the CC with it. He sighed now he was going to have to wake this Carly up and get her to leave with the minimal amount of fuss as possible. 

Carly had been beside herself with anxiety until Q phoned. She'd known he was away on the bus tour. When he still hadn't called after she knew they were most defiantly back in New York, she thought she was going to have to turn to plan B.  
Ruby was back from Cambodia now and had come over to see her new place. She could tell Ruby was pissed off.  
"What was wrong with the old place?" Ruby had asked flicking her eyes around the small apartment.  
"The neighbours pissed me off."  
"What Mr and Mrs Stonehausen? She's seventy-nine, and he's eighty, how'd they pissed you off?"  
"Not them Ruby, the others. That weird guy across the hall, and Mrs Wilbur from downstairs." Ruby wasn't buying any of it."Why'd ya break up with Scott, Carly?" Ruby had asked as she had taken a slow walk around Carly's new apartment.  
"We had an almighty bust-up, that's all okay?"  
"You and Scott had bust-ups nearly every week Carly, but you never broke up over one before."  
"He didn't understand."  
"Understand what? "  
"Understand me, Ruby, me. He didn't understand about......things."  
"What things?"  
"Ruby, for Christ sake stop with the questions. We broke up end of. So how do you like the apartment?" Carly had stirred the conversation away from her ex. She didn't want Ruby asking any more awkward questions about Scott. It hadn't been an acrimonious breakup.Far from it. He'd called her a few choice names as he'd collected his stuff together from her old apartment. Being called a paranoid delusional was to Carly completely unfair. He'd yelled at her that she needed help. That her psychotic erotomania was getting out of control. She'd thrown a vase at him. It had crashed to pieces against the door that Scott had only just managed to shut in time. Carly had dashed across the room and had wrenched the window open. Looking down, she'd waited for Scott to come out of the building. There was no way he was getting the last word.  
"You're a shit eating dick Scott." Carly had yelled her voice echoing across the nearly empty street.  
"You need to see a shrink Carly " Scott had yelled back as he opened the door of his car. "There's a bed in Bellevue with your name on it."  
" Yeah, well your crap in the sack Scott!" and with that Carly had slammed the window shut. She'd been seething for the rest of the day, how dare he say she needed to see a shrink.  
"Carly, it's smaller than your old place." Ruby had said scanning her eyes around the living area and the small open plan kitchen. The decor was defiantly dated. It looked like it hadn't seen a lick of paint in years. She'd poked her head around the door of the bathroom. Ruby had wrinkled her nose at the avocado bathroom suite. The shower curtain was showing the distinctly mottled mould pattern that indicated the bathroom was damp.  
"Needs painting, don't you think?" Ruby had asked as she'd reached for the bedroom door.  
"It's called retro." Carly had defended  
"It's called shit". Ruby had added. "Why's the bedroom locked?" She'd asked twisting the knob that refused to budge.  
"Christ Ruby! It's my bedroom, privacy and all that." Ruby then noticed and had picked up one of the A4 posters.  
"What's this? A lost cat? You don't even have a cat?"  
"How do you know? You've been in Cambodia since January."  
"Mom never mentioned any cat. Where's it's food, it's bowl, the litter tray, it's bed?" She'd spun Ruby an off the cuff yarn about the cat not settling, and she'd ended up giving it away. She wasn't bothered if Ruby accepted that or not, it was none of her business. She'd just seen Ruby out when Q had phoned her.  
Now here she was waking up in his bed, after a mind-blowing night of sex. Getting up Carly collected her clothes from the room and got dressed. While Q had been asleep Carly had retrieved her knickers and short leather skirt from the hall. She'd padded around silently moving through the downstairs of his house. Inspecting every room Carly had mentally rearranged Q's furniture as she'd walked around. In the kitchen area, a pair of eyes flashed at her in the dark. The cat, she didn't know which one, had meowed at her.  
"Button it, flea ball." She'd whispered to the cat. Whichever cat it was hissed back at her instantly picking up on her negative tone. Returning to the hall Carly was glad that Q had left the light on in his haste. She had searched quickly. She'd been downstairs long enough; she didn't want to be caught prowling around in the dark by him. She'd soon found what she was looking for. Q had left his keys in a small dish on the side by the door. Slipping her iPhone out of her skirt pocket Carly had brought up the app she wanted. Not knowing which key was the front door key, she scanned every key into the app and saved them into the keyme cloud account.  
Carly now scanned her eyes around Q's bedroom. She knew that Q was downstairs trying to think of the right words to tell her to leave. Carly knew the first time would be like this. She wasn't a total fool; he was who he was after all. He just needed time. She didn't want to force things, but hey, after the second, third even a fourth time he'd soon realise he couldn't be without her.  
Q stood in the doorway of his living room. His hands gripped the wooden frame as he listened to Carly's tread on the stairs get closer. His eyes searched the floor as her feet came into view. She had one shoe on as she balanced herself to pull the other on. Q pulled his gaze up from the floor his brow low over his dark eyes.  
"Listen Carly I......."  
"It's okay I'm going." smiled Carly.  
"Oh." Q nodded, not quite expecting that. He'd thought she was on the verge of saying she'd make him breakfast. He hated it when that happened. Making you food, from your own fridge. Cooking it in your kitchen then expecting you to eat it like it was the normal thing to do. When all you wanted them to do was get the fuck out of your house.  
Carly sauntered over to where Q stood. Placing her lips on his, she gave him a slow lingering kiss.  
"We had fun right? " she questioned pushing her thinly covered breasts up against his chest. "You've got my number right Brian? Call me." She leant into kiss him again, more urgently this time. Q got a taste of mint as her tongue probed around his mouth. Carly reluctantly pulled away from him and tossing her hair over her shoulder smiled almost shyly as she bit her lip slowly bringing her eyes up to look him in the eye.  
"See ya around Brian. " Q rushed to the front door opening it for her. He didn't even watch her go as he closed the door on her back as soon as she was through it. He sighed as he leant against the closed door. As much as he'd enjoyed the sex, he swore to himself he wouldn't call her again. Carly strode with intent down his drive and into the street. Her pace quickened, and she was almost skipping as she hurried along. Carly knew without a shadow of a doubt he'd be back for more. She'd make sure of that. He wasn't in control, she was, things would play to her tune now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the idea for the erotomania story line months ago while I was still on Part 4. I mentioned Crazy Carly in chapter 4 last week. I know there is a new story on here with a stalker theme. I just want to say that I'm not trying to copy anybody. Thanks


	8. Stronger.

The day after the night before had found Dee and Cait nursing massive hangovers. Late Sunday morning had found the pair of them in the back of Lorraine and Lee ' s car. Lee drove, as Lorraine played on her phone. Cait had borrowed a pair of aviators from Lee. Dee had exchanged her glasses for Lorraine's large framed sunglasses. The pair of them hid behind the loaned shades and sat slumped together side by side in the car. Breakfast had been unmanageable instead they'd opted for strong black coffee. The drive back took a couple of hours and so early Sunday afternoon found Lorraine dropping Cait off with Dee at her place.  
Cait was staying at Dee's that night. Cait's bridesmaid's dress was being dry cleaned and left at Dee's house until Cait decided what to do with it. Cait's clothes that Dee had brought home and washed in January were waiting for her. Dee was once again going to be doing Cait's dirty washing. The train tickets were bought and were now slipped into Cait's purse all set to catch the train down to Birmingham on Monday afternoon. Cait's flight to Peru left Heathrow at 8.40 Wednesday morning. This time, she had only one stop over. An hour and thirty-five minutes wait over at Schiphol Airport Amsterdam. All being well she should land at 6.10 Wednesday evening Lima time. She was picking the rest of her luggage up from Matt and Faye's Monday then catching the train to London on Tuesday.  
"How's she been?" asked Dee of Helen when she walked into her kitchen.  
"No change. Same old, same old. " shrugged Helen her arm already in one sleeve of her coat. Helen hung around just long enough to ask Cait how Cambodia had gone before she was gone. She'd given Dee some feeble excuse about getting home for her home shopping delivery. Dee knew it was an excuse not to hang around. It made Helen uncomfortable being around her mum even for a short time. She found it hard to cope with the same questions over and over again.  
Cait and Dee spent the rest of the Sunday afternoon still nursing their slowly fading hangovers and watching old black and white movies with Dee's mum. Monday morning after the girls had headed off to college Cait left Dee with her mum and headed down to the Marina. She introduced herself to the woman who was renting the barge, then called in on Ella. Cait sat down accepting the cup of tea from Ella. Jimmy sat in her lap. The feel of his thick velvety fur through her fingers felt good. She'd missed him as his gentle purr vibrating from deep in his throat. Chad had jumped up onto the back of her chair and was purring straight in her ear, his whiskers tickling her cheek. Ella and Cait chatted about Cambodia and Ella assured Cait everything was fine with the barge tenant and the cats. Placing her tea cup down Cait reached into her bag and handed Ella an envelope.  
"What's this?" Ella asked flipping the envelope between her fingers. "I don't want your money Cait. I said I'd look after Jimmy and Chad for you; I don't want you to pay me for looking after them."  
"It's for the vets Ella. They're both due to get their boosters, and I want you to get the vet to give them both rabies shots."  
"Rabies? You planning on taking them somewhere Cait?" Ella fixed her beady eyes on Cait as she busied herself in the kitchen area of her barge.  
"Not sure yet. It takes three weeks to kick in so ......we'll see."  
"You've got a feeling, haven't you?"Ella smiled patting at her wiry grey hair as she moved to sit across from Cait. She patted the fat brown envelope against the palm of one hand as she regarded Cait.  
"Sort of. I dunno......." Cait shrugged " I just get this feeling I should get them done. " Ella peered into the envelope.  
"Crickey Cait, there's more than enough for the vets here."  
"Well, whatever's left over put it to one side. It might come in useful."Ella made a humph sound and slid the envelope into the pocket of the apron she wore. Ella decided to make a call to the vets as Cait got ready to leave. Ending the call Ella told Cait Jimmy, and Chad were booked in for the end of the week.  
"Peru next is it then Cait? What's in Peru?"  
"Working in a clinic for disadvantaged children. Cleaning wounds, giving sutures, assisting the doctors as well as the normal blood pressure taking and bed making stuff."  
"Sounds like er......fun."  
"It's not supposed to be fun. But I am looking forward to seeing the sights." Ella hugged Cait warmly as she got ready to leave. Ella told her to take care of herself. Cait gave Ella one final hug before she let herself out of the narrow boat. She hoped back onto the bank and turning nearly collided into a figure standing in the shade of the tree just next to Ella's mooring. It was Sean.  
Cait crossed her arms immediately in an almost defensive fashion as she looked him over. He looked older and leaner. His hair was cut shorter than Cait had ever seen it before. The month's growth from the buzz cut standing slightly spiky over his head; he was clean shaven.  
"When did you get out?"  
"Last month." He replied. His hands were rammed deep into the pockets of his jacket as he brought his eyes up from the ground to look at Cait.  
"How did you know where to find me? Have you been following me? Oh, my God, you have, haven't you? Why would you do that Sean, why?"  
"You wouldn't see me Cait. In January the restorative justice service wrote to you. You never replied. Matt spoke to my liaison officer. He told her you'd left the country."  
"I've been in Cambodia. I leave for Peru next week." She squinted at him as the dappled light from the shade of the tree flitted across her eyes. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves in the stillness. "What do you want Sean?"  
She'd always wondered what she'd feel if she ever saw him again. 'You have destroyed this woman's life' had been the judges words as he'd been taken down. Back then she'd been a mess. If she'd come face to face with him even six month's ago, Cait felt sure she wouldn't have been able to handle it. The hurt was still raw inside her then, and she knew seeing Sean would have seen her in pieces once more. She felt different now. She wasn't scared; she didn't felt angry or bitter, she pitied him.  
"I did a terrible to you Cait......I ........want to.......say......."  
"You're sorry? Is that what you want to say, Sean? Are you sorry? Shall I tell you exactly what these past few years have been like for me? Shall I?"  
As Cait told him how his attack on her had impacted on her life he cried. Cait could see he found it really hard. She'd never seen him cry before and knew the tears were genuine. He listened to everything Cait had to say in silence. Finishing Cait, still arms crossed looked out over the river. A couple of swans glided effortlessly by, followed by seven grey signet's keeping pace with their parents.  
"I'm sorry Cait, and that's a proper sorry."  
"What you doing now?"  
"I'm out on licence at the moment. I have a job, though. Up north, like proper up north. Newcastle."  
"You're moving away then? " He nodded. "That's good Sean, making a fresh start and everything." Cait shuffled the toe of her foot through the gravel of the riverbanks path. She felt calm. Cait was thankful she was down here on her own and not with Dee or any of the others. What she was about to say to Sean, they wouldn't understand. Cait knew deep within her heart it was the right thing to say. It was time to let go, move on and leave the past behind.  
"What I'm about to say to you Sean, my friends will never be able to understand, but, I forgive you for what you did to me. Hatred just eats you up, and I want you to go to Newcastle and have a good life. If you haven't already forgiven yourself, then I hope in the future you will." looking him straight in the eye Cait let out a long breath. "Goodbye, Sean, and good luck." Stuffing her hands into her jean pockets, she walked away from him towards the car parking area. "Cait knew the next bus was due soon as she dashed across the road to wait by the bus stop. She felt good; actually, she felt really good. The bus came into view, and Cait stuck her arm out. She didn't feel like a victim anymore; she was a survivor.

Lorraine honked her horn in exasperation. Cait's bags were in the boot; she just needed Cait now. If Cait didn't get her arse in gear soon, they'd miss the train. The windscreen wipers flicked across the front screen of her car as she honked the horn again long and loud. Dee let go of Cait. Holding an umbrella in one hand, she gripped Cait's upper arm then pushed her gently away from her.  
"Somebodies getting impatient."  
"Yeah, well somebody needs to know half an hour leeway means I won't miss the train, and I'll probably still have time for a coffee and a sit-down."  
"She's giving us the evils." Smirked Dee sticking her tongue out at Lorraine. "Sooo. ....... off again Cait. Peru and Machu Picchu beckons." Dee tipped the umbrella she held back so the collected rain trickled off the umbrella down behind where she stood. Feels like I'm always saying bye to you just lately. Will I see you again?" She had to ask. Cait hadn't given anyone a definite date that she'd be back this time.  
"'Cause you will." Cait smiled. Her hazel eyes narrowed as she regarded Dee.  
"Don't do that."  
"Do what?" Cait asked raising her eyebrows a little in mock surprise.  
" Do that creepy psychic thing with your eyes. That's the look you had at the airport in January, it's weird, so stop it." Cait sucked her lips into a tight line, then smiled.  
"Of cause, I'll see you again Dee. I'll see you the other side of summer."  
"Which summer? This summer, next summer, or summer 2020?" Just then Lorraine wound the window down on the passenger side of the car. She leant across the front seat to crane her neck at Cait and Dee.  
"Christ sake Cait......get a move on!" Cait ducked out from underneath Dee's umbrella and made a quick grab for the car door. The rain was beginning to come down faster as Cait sat and swung her wet feet into the car. Getting in she pulled the door shut with a satisfying thud.  
"This summer. The other side of this summer."Cait called as the car window came up. Dee watched Cait frantically waving as Lorraine pulled away from the kerb into the traffic. And then she was gone .... again.

.


	9. An itch you can't quite scratch

The den's light was switched off. The only light in the room came from the open laptop on the desk. The door was slightly ajar, and Sal could hear the women's voices interspersed with laughing coming from his living room. He sat slouched in the swivel chair at his desk staring at the laptop screen but not really seeing.  
What in the world had possessed him to agree to this? He asked himself pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. When Roz had first mentioned the baby shower, he'd assumed she'd be having it at her mom's place. She'd given up her apartment and moved back home with her mom a couple of weeks back. When Roz had mentioned to Sal that she didn't think she'd be able to keep up the rent on her place when the baby came, she'd been hoping for a different outcome. Roz had prayed he'd take pity on her and ask her to move in with him, but he didn't. She'd given her landlord notice, and still, Sal hadn't taken the bait. On the day she'd moved out he'd turned up at her mom's to help. Hoping he'd come to tell her to move her stuff into his she'd been crestfallen when he'd just given her a tight smile and helped carry boxes into her mom's house. He hadn't stayed to help unpack either. All this went down like a lead balloon with Roz ' s mom. She didn't want to take sides. Roz's mum didn't want to make it look like she condoned what Roz had done to Sal. Fearful of upsetting her hormonal daughter in the last few months of her pregnancy she gave Roz as much support as she could. She'd always liked Sal, and they'd got on fairly well before Roz had cast her wandering eye elsewhere. Sal's demeanour was cold to her as well as Roz, and she knew it bothered Roz. She knew full well what was on her daughter's mind concerning Sal, she knew her too well. Standing on her porch next to her daughter she'd watched Sal get in his car and drive away.  
"If he were any frostier, he'd be an ice burg! " She'd huffed. Roz had blown out a long deep sigh.  
"It's just his way, mom. Remember we're just friends." Turning she'd placed a protective arm around Roz ' s shoulders as she'd guided her through the front door into the house.  
"You deserve better.I like Sal, sweetheart I always have but you need a proper father for this baby, not a playmate come, babysitter."  
A piercing shriek of laughter echoed across the hall, and Sal slammed the lid down on the laptop in exasperation. He could feel the beginnings of a tension headache starting in his temples. His usually peaceful, quiet home had been taken over by nearly all the female members of his family, plus work colleagues of Roz ' s and a bunch of her friends too.  
His living room was decorated with pink and blue balloons. The theme was 'she's ready to pop'. In his kitchen, they'd laid out a selection of food with pop in the title. A candy stand with blow pops, ring pops and rock pops. An assortment of different cake pops and popcorn. To counter balance all that sugar, Roz ' s mom had made a large salad with a poppy seed dressing and some pastry filled triangles she called ham and cheese poppy seed sliders. Also in his kitchen, Roz had hung a makeshift washing line across the room stretching over his sink from one side to the other. Across a counter top, she'd set out an area to decorate a baby onesie. The guests could either decorate with fabric pens or use a selection of stamps that were either zoo or farm animals or the letters of the alphabet. Clothes pegs were near at hand to peg the little onesies up on the line to dry.  
"Uncle Sal...." He peered through the gloom of the room as his niece slowly pushed her head around the door letting the hall light spill across his face. "Auntie Roz says. ...."  
"Auntie Roz? Who told you to call Roz 'Auntie Roz' Madison? "  
"Erh......" she was caught completely off guard. "Well, mom says I should call her Auntie 'cause her baby's gonna be my cousin. Why? " He stood up from his chair quickly. It swivelled away from underneath him knocking into the shelving unit behind the desk. The shelving tremored a little as Sal rounded the corner of his desk moving towards the door and Madison. He pushed her gently by the shoulders guiding her out into the hall closing the door behind him.  
"She's not your Auntie Madison."  
"But she will be when you get married won't she?"  
"Married? What the........who said anything about marriage?" He was aware of his sisters calling his name from the living room. He rolled his eyes and pulled a face at Madison. She just giggled at him. Opening his living room door just enough for his face to peer around he looked in, he didn't like what he found. His living room looked like an explosion in a Babiesrus store. A group of Roz ' s friends were laughing together as they flicked through a photo album. He recognised it immediately and frowned at his sisters who were sat huddled around Roz on the sofa.  
"Oh my God, Sal, who knew you had adorable dimples there as well as on your face!" Roz ' s friend cried as she held up the photo album. And there it was. The dreaded baby picture being paraded around for all to see. Butt naked except for a smile, his peachy smooth baby bum on display for all the baby shower to ogle. He silently cursed his mom and sisters as he locked eyes with Roz for a split second. She mouthed a sorry to him as Sal quickly shut the door too. That was the last straw. Madison wide-eyed watched him scoop his keys up and pull his shoes on. Shrugging his arms into the sleeves of his hoodie, he pushed the cuffs up his arms a little and did the zipper up half way.  
"You haven't seen me, Maddie, " he said over his shoulder as he opened the front door. "If anyone asks you didn't see me leave the house."  
"What's it worth?" Madison asked stepping forward and seizing the opportunity with both hands.  
"What do ya mean 'what's it worth'?" He hissed at her through his teeth.  
"Twenty dollars."  
"Twenty.....twenty dollars? " Sal asked his face doing a double take. He recovered quickly as with one hand on the door he squinted his eyes at Madison.  
"Yeah, twenty dollars, or I spill...."  
"Five."  
"Fifteen."  
"Ten."  
"Deal, cash up front Uncle Sal." She smiled rubbing her thumb across her fingers. Sal rolled his eyes in exasperation and fumbling for his wallet he reluctantly passed her the ten dollar bill.  
"Oh, you really are your mother's daughter."  
"Yeah, that's what daddy says too." Madison smiled holding the bill up in the air and surveying it like a pro. Sal's jaw went slack slightly as he watched her pocket the note. Unbelievable Sal thought, robbed by a near nine-year-old right on his doorstep. He smiled to himself as he shut his front door, smart kid, though.

Shrugging his arms into his robe Q wrapped the garment around himself and tied the belt in a loose knot. Taking a towel from the rack he ran it roughly through his damp hair. Clicking the bathroom light off Q padded bare foot into his bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. He scanned his eyes around the room. His gaze roamed over his bedside draws. His cell phone and wallet lay discarded there from his jeans pocket. The reading lamp was on casting its weak glow over the pile of reading books he was in the process of reading. From there his, eyes were drawn to his chest of draws. Standing still drying his hair he ran his gaze over the top. Q-tips, broken game controller, a glass of water, multi-pack of condoms, tangled pair of headphones......wait. He cast the damp towel down onto the bed behind him and picked up the headphones. They weren't tangled. He could have sworn he'd chucked them there because he'd been all fingers and thumbs trying to untangle them. He couldn't remember untangling them, but here they were, no knots at all. Dangling the headphones in his fingers, he tossed them back down with a frown. Some weird shit was going on just lately and, he just couldn't work out if his mind was just playing tricks on him or if he was literally going insane. He was starting to get unnerved in his own house.  
He dragged a comb through his hair, pocketed his cell and wallet into his robe from the top of the bedside draws and scooped up the damp towel. Clicking the light off, Q hung the towel in the bathroom and slouched down stairs deep in thought. The detangled headphones were just the latest in a string of weird stuff that had happened around his house over the past few weeks. Furniture seemed to move on its own. The slight indentation mark on his carpet indicating where the item had stood before. Photos seemed to move of their own accord too. Only last week he could have sworn he'd left the X-box controller on the floor surrounded by video game cases. When he got home that weekend from doing a couple of Santiago Sent Us shows he'd found the game cases neatly stack away along with the controller. He couldn't remember doing it himself before he'd gone away. He had thought that maybe he'd been sleepwalking and tidied them without knowing. But he'd never walked in his sleep in his life, and dismissed the idea immediately. Q was really starting to believe he'd got a poltergeist. Did he believe in such things? There were plenty of things in the world without explanation, but did he really think a poltergeist had moved in with him?  
He sat and took a long gulp of the whisky he'd just poured and pondered the question. It was more than likely his mind playing tricks on him. He was feeling tired after all. He was looking forward to San Diego Comic-Con in July. A chance to relax away from filming for a few days a chance to straighten his head out. Anyhow all this poltergeist stuff was just a load of bull shit. The dead couldn't hurt you; it was the living you had to worry about. Even so, a small part of him still felt uneasy.  
The light from the hall reflected into three pairs of startled cats eyes as Q pushed the door open and peered into the dark room. He sloshed the whisky around the glass. He wasn't in the mood for X-box, he didn't want to watch TV or a DVD. He wasn't in a concentrating frame of mind to read. He was bored. He raised the glass to his lips and let the whisky tingle against his lips and gums as he let the liquid slowly trickle down his throat. Savouring the spreading warm feeling it gave him his eyes came to rest on something laying folded against the leg of the hall table. He pulled his cell out of his gown pocket and typed out a text that he immediately deleted. His eyes roamed lazily around the hall as his gaze fell on the folded crumpled slightly torn A4 poster.. He 'd sworn he wouldn't call Carly. It was a one time fuck, nothing more. Q lazily ran his hand over the top of his robe already feeling the stirring in his groin as he thought about the night he'd had with Carly. He pulled his cell back out of his pocket and began typing again as he quickly strode across the hall and reached for the folded A4. He keyed in Carly's number his thumb hovering over the send tab. Oh, what the hell, he thought as he hit send. He'd got this itch, an itch that could only be scratched in one way. Q got a reply back within minutes.  
Carly smirked to herself as she typed back her reply to Q's short and to the point text. She could be around in fifteen. He didn't know she didn't need that long. Carly tilted the rear view mirror and reapplied her lipstick. Smoothing her lips together she studied herself in the mirror, her grey eyes glinting knowingly back at herself. Carly spritzed some perfume behind her ears, readjusted her cleavage and lifting her ass up from the seat she slipped her knickers off down her thighs over her knees. Kicking them off over her ankles then shoes she reached down and screwed them up into a ball. Then Carly stuffed them into her small shoulder bag. She killed another five minutes or so flicking through her phone before slipping the phone into her shoulder bag too. Carly then got out her car and locking it walked away from where it had been parked for the past two hours. The rhythmic click of her heels echoed across the surface of the road as she strode up the drive manoeuvring passed the red jeep up towards the porch and Q's front door.

. "


	10. Take it or leave it.

Q pulled open his door and gestured for Carly to come through. Her eyes roamed around the hall stopping on the open doorway of the living room. A cat was slowly sauntering out of the dark room; it's tail flicking from side to side. In one graceful movement, it leapt up onto the small side table that Q stood next to. The cat rubbed itself against Q's arm meowing the whole time. Q's hand instinctively reached out, and he smoothed his fingers over the cat's fur.   
"Any sign of your cat yet, Carly?" He asked his mind distracted from Carly for the moment as his fingers tickled underneath his cat's chin.  
"You didn't ask me over here to ask about my cat now did you, Brian?"Carly asked hanging her bag over the end of the stairs and moving towards Q. The black halter neck top she wore finished just above her navel. Her leather skirt sat on her hips and stopped mid thigh. Her long tanned legs were given the illusion of being longer by the heels she wore. Carly leant into him her face inches from his. She scanned her clear grey eyes over Q's face committing every contour to her memory. Their lips met in a hungry kiss. Their desire charged with ferocity as they're mouths mashed together. Q slid a hand under her top his palm cupping the roundness of her breast. Her nipple was already hard, and he pinched and rolled it between his fingers. Carly tugged at the tie in his robe; it didn't take much for the material to slide away revealing his nakedness underneath. Carly touched his growing cock. Q groaned against her mouth as he felt her fingers play with his balls.  
"I do so love to suck cock." Carly laughed as she sighed against Q's mouth. The cat gave one last desperate meow at Q, but his eyes were closed, as he concentrated on the feeling of Carly's hand working his cock as she lowered her body infront of him. Kneeling down her hands were placed on his upper thighs as his cock pointed quivering in her face. She took one long lick from his balls to the tip of his shaft. Her tongue circled his cock head as the tip collected and lapped at the leaked pre-cum. Then she sunk his cock into her mouth and Q could feel her tongue coaxing him further and further back. Q gripped hold of her hair as her head bobbed up and down on his cock. Releasing him inch by inch Carly looked up at him as the tip of her tongue licked the thin horizontal slash in his cock. Q's breathing was heavy as he opened his eyes to look down at her. Once again her eager tongue followed by her lips enveloped his cock. Swallowing all of him her jerking head moved more furiously. Q was panting now moving his hips back and forth as soft gurgling noises emerged from Carly's throat as Q let out a loud groan as his cum erupting in her mouth. Carly moaned as she sucked him clean then standing she took hold of the edge of his robe.  
"Now it's my turn, Brian" she cooed as she led him into the dark living room.  
"Alexa lights to red."

Sal had driven around aimlessly for an hour before he'd parked the car up. Driving with the window down he'd felt the rushing fresh air help to clear his head as the pounding in his temples slowly dissipated. Sal had switched his phone to silent and tuned the radio of his car to some innocuous jazz station. He'd found himself outside Qs house parked up behind dark coloured Honda Civic. He'd drummed his fingers against the stirring wheel contemplating his next move. Half an hour earlier he'd been roused from his thoughts by insistent key tapping against the window of the driver's side of his car. Sal had wound the window down to come face to face with a teenage boy. Searching his eyes through the window, he'd looked up at the youth. The light was beginning to fade dusk slowly enveloping the late evening into night. The boy looked about seventeen and Sal could just make out a group of figures crowded around a car parked just down front his. The boy had leant his face close into Sal, and he'd caught the strong whiff of cheap liquor mixed with weed on his breath.   
"Say, Grandad, you some kind of perv dude? Your freakin' the chicks out man, go home and watch some porn if you wanna get your rocks off. They're ain't nothin' for you down here Grandad." Sal had blinked rapidly trying to take in exactly what the boy was meaning. Jesus, he didn't even realise he'd parked up at this notorious teenage make-out spot. Sal had mumbled an incoherent apology as he wound the window back up and manoeuvred the car away from the boy and his group of friends. In the rearview mirror, he watched the boy saunter over to a girl. She snaked her arm around his shoulders lazily and watched Sal drive away as she chewed on a mouthful of gum.   
He was all set to step out of the car, but his hand hesitated on the door handle when he saw a woman swing her legs out of the Honda in front of him and head over towards Q's front door. He'd been hoping he could chill out at Q's for a couple of hours. Have a beer with his friend, watch him play video games and have a stupid conversation about anything that didn't involve babies. If he had to hear one more conversation about a torn perineum and how many stitches one woman had, had compared to another Sal thought his head would explode. As for c sections, the graphic detail the women had gone into earlier in the evening had freaked him out.  
The need for male company was sucked out of him as he watched Q open the door and the woman slip through. He couldn't very well turn up at his door now, damn, he should have texted first. He pulled the seat belt across his body clicking it locked then starting the car he headed for home. It seemed Q had found someone to fill the Cait sized void in his life. He'd spent months mooning over the woman like some kind of hormonal teenager. A woman who was thousands of miles away and who he had absolutely zero chance of ever seeing again. The trouble was, that's exactly how he'd been feeling too. It seemed like Q had moved on, maybe he should too. With a new found resolve, he parked up in front of his house. If he was going to give this thing with Roz any chance of working, he had to put any thoughts of Dee completely out of his mind.  
He noticed Roz's car still parked in front of his house. It seemed that the baby shower had wrapped up. He tried his door handle and found it opened easily in his hand. Countless times he'd told Roz to keep the door locked.Even more so now she was heavily pregnant. She counted his request by saying that if anything started happening early, and she was at his, how would the paramedics get to her if the door was locked and she couldn't get to unlock it. What if the baby decided to come early and she was upstairs, or in the bathroom. She didn't have superhero powers like Reed Richards; her arms weren't elastic they didn't quite stretch that far.   
Stepping into the hall, he kicked his shoes off then listening had found the soothing sound of silence. A stark contrast to how he'd left the house hours earlier. Sal went towards the kitchen first and flicked on the light. The food from earlier had gone, dishes washed and stacked. The makeshift washing line was no more dangling across his sink. A bright red craft box stood on the counter and looking inside Sal found all the onesie decorating stuff. The decorated onesies were folded into a pile in the box. He lifted the first one out just out of curiosity. Holy shit it was small. His mind was trying to comprehend how small it was as he unfurled it. Were babies really this tiny? Someone had decorated the onesie with a black fabric pen. #gfy was emblazoned across the front. He recognised the way the end of the g flicked up and knew immediatly who'd decorated that one. Joe had most probably done it when he'd come to pick up Bessie.  
"Oh, very funny asshole." He mumbled to himself folding the onesie back up into a little bundle and placing it back in the box with the others.  
Sal moved back down the hall then poked his head around the doorframe of the living room. His brow furrowed as he could just make out the balloons still tied together in an arch against the back wall. He flicked the light on thank the Lord; his living room looked like his living room again. There was no sign of any baby shower gifts, not even a stray scrap of gift paper littered his floor. He was just wondering where Roz was when he heard movement behind him. Sal slipped his arms out of his hoodie as he turned to face Roz. She stood at the bottom of the stairs. She held onto the round ball end of the hand rail her fingers gripping into the wood. Her other hand she ran over her bump. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun. One long strand hung loosely from the bun resting on her shoulder. Beads of sweat glistened across her forehead as she cast a dark look at Sal through icy blue eyes. Dark circles under her eyes showed just how sleep deprived she was. Panting a little, she tried to compose herself.   
"Where have you been.? " she asked. Her voice sounded calm even to Roz herself, but inside she was anything but calm. She was fuming. Sal could tell by the thinly disguised edge to her voice she was trying her level best to remain poised and in control. " Thank you so much for ditching me this evening in front of not just my friends and work colleagues but your mother and sisters too. Where did you get to exactly? You're not picking up your phone."  
"Nowhere. I just Erh...I was......was driving around. I lost track of time."  
"Bull shit! " Roz spat. The look on her face made him realise that was the wrong answer. "Don't fuckin' lie to me, Salvatore. I think you were around a certain lame brains house by the name of Brian Michael fuckin' Quinn avoiding this baby shower like the plague."  
" No, I wasn't round Quinn ' s Roz. Listen, hun, I'm stupid I shouldn't have gone out I'm sorry. " Roz blinked her watery eyes at Sal her shoulders slumped a little as her gaze fell from his face. "Don't stress yourself out over nothing Roz. Isn't it bad for the baby if your blood pressures high?" Roz's head jerked up quickly she fixed an icy blue stare straight into Sal's eyes, and he knew instantly he'd said the wrong thing again. Being with Roz at this stage of her pregnancy was like being on an emotional roller coaster.   
"My blood pressure! I should watch my blood pressure? If my blood pressures sky high, it's your fault. You wanna know something Sal? I hate being pregnant. I hate not being able to sleep, I hate being fat, I hate stretch marks too! Tell you what too; I hate not being able to wear nice shoes 'cause my ankles are so swollen." Sal cast her eyes down at her feet. She wiggled her toes in the flip flops she wore. "I hate going shopping because all the nice clothes don't fit a whale like me, and on top of all that I'm scared I'm gonna piss myself if I can't get to the toilet in time when I'm out. I hate being asked when I'm due, and what am I having, I hate random people thinking it's okay to comment on my size and weight right in front of me. I hate feeling like crap......" Roz was up in Sal's face now. She gulped slightly as unshed tears finally escaped her eyes. Two bright red spots glowed on her bright cheeks. She swiped her hand across her cheek. " But most of all, I HATE YOU!" and at that moment her face crumpled and distorted as she sobbed her shoulders shuddering with every gasping breath she tried to take between the tears. Roz battered her hands half-heartedly against Sal's chest. He stilled her feeble onslaught by taking her flaying hands in his. He made cooing soothing sounds as she practically collapsed into his arms. Her shoulders shook as she cried into his shoulder. Sal rubbed his hands over her back as her sobs slowed. He could feel the damp patch on his shoulder soaking through to his skin as Roz sniffed noisily against his shoulder. He hoped it was just tears and he wasn't going to end up with streaks of snot smeared across his shoulder.   
"Oh god! I'm sorry Sal; I must look a total mess!" Roz sniffled as she pulled a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose. " Sal cupped her face in his hands and brushed his thumbs across her cheeks. Roz stared into Sal's eyes trying to read where his unexpected show of tenderness had come from. Blinking rapidly the last of the tears that had welled up in her eyes were released. Sal swiped them away, then leant forward and placed his lips tentatively on Roz's salty tasting lips. She kissed him back, gently at first but then she tried to kiss him harder, her heart beating faster. Sal had pulled his mouth away from hers then. Roz, her brow furrowed had searched his face.  
"One step at a time Roz." Sal murmured as Roz leant her head into his shoulder. "One step at a time."   
"It'll do for starters," Roz mumbled into the shoulder of his shirt.


	11. Divine intervention

There was no doubt about it. Getting up at 3.15am to line up in a bus queue for two hours was an insane way to start the day. Cait had wrapped the authentic Peruvian poncho tighter around her body as she snuggled further into her bus seat. The bus bounced and rattled along the trek in the still darkness of the early morning. It had been worth it, though. To see the sunrise over the mountains as it bathed Machu Picchu in its soft glow was truly a beautiful, majestic and stunning sight.  
Cait had snapped plenty of photos of the site as she'd stood on the viewing platform waiting for the gates to open onto the citadel. It was a chance to get in some early morning no tourist shots of the ancient site before all the sightseers descended onto the ruins.  
"Hey, Cait, honey, what do think of the view?" Cait settled one hand on the wide brimmed brown hat she wore as she took her aviators off to turn smiling at Viv.  
Cait had travelled to Machu Picchu with Viv and Wes. They'd met the first day of orientation in the small Peruvian village they'd been assigned to. Viv and Wes were coming to the end of a year-long sabbatical. Married for twenty-seven years, they'd put their doctor's careers on hold and had spent the past year working on different health projects around the world. They'd already been to Peru once, but they'd both felt a profound affinity for the country and had vowed they'd be back. Cait had assisted Viv and Wes in the villagers local clinic. Both were fluent in Spanish which helped Cait's limited vocabulary, and Viv had kindly lent her some scrubs. The three seemed to click straight away as Viv and Wes took Cait under their experienced wings. Cait soon felt like they'd known each other for a lot longer than just two and a half weeks. Cait knew Viv and Wes filled a gap in her life that had been missing for a long time.  
"I know, Cait, made me lost for words the first time we climbed to the top of Huayna Picchu and looked down at the Machu Picchu citadel too." Viv passed Cait a bottle of water as she came to stand next to her.  
"And that doesn't happen very often Cait." Wes smiled as he heaved himself up from his sitting position by the hiking pole he carried. " Viv never get's lost for words." Viv shot her husband a quick sideways look as he came to stand next to her. Viv was a lot shorter than Wes the top of her head the silver streaks showing in her black locks only coming up to his shoulder. She nudged her elbow into his side a little in an admonishing way as Wes snaked his arm across her shoulders pulling her into his broad chest with a tight squeeze. Viv beamed up at him, and Cait turned away. Her eyes scanned over the vista below her. She'd never meet a couple so perfectly in tune with each other as Wes and Viv were. They fitted together like the last two pieces of a puzzle. Both in their late fifties, they had one grown-up son and no grandchildren.  
It was incredibly peaceful as Cait looked down from the top of Huayna Picchu. A warm light breeze feathered against her face as she held onto the top of her hat absorbing every detail of the serenity of the surrounding mountains. The three of them had set out on the hike up Huayna Picchu at seven that morning. Not for anyone scared of heights the climb had been tough but worth it. Cait watched the clouds gently swirl in and around the mountains. Their group had waited for the thick early morning clouds to clear, and they'd been rewarded with spectacular views of the ancient ruins of Machu Picchu and the surrounding mountains.  
"You thought any more on our proposition Cait?" asked Wes.  
"I dunno Wes, it's very tempting." Cait had thought about nothing else since Viv and Wes had first mentioned it to her over a week before. It felt to Cait like some invisible hand had guided them together, and now they were offering her this intriguing opportunity.  
"You don't have to decide just yet hun, but at least give it some serious thought while we're in Mexico." Cait nodded as she slipped her glasses back on.  
"Will you take a picture for me, Wes?" Cait asked passing him her phone. She stood and posed arms outstretched the brightly coloured poncho hanging down from her arms. Taking her phone back from Wes, Cait flicked through her contacts. Her thumb hovered over the button that would send the picture to Brian. She'd not heard back from him for so long now she wondered whether it was even worth sending him the picture. Her mind made up she hit send before she changed it. She had decided this was the last time, though. If he didn't acknowledge the picture message, then she'd call it quits. The intense week they'd shared in London was a distance blur in her memory now. Sometimes if she concentrated hard enough though she could just get back the feeling she'd felt being with Q that last night at The Ritz.  
Taking the longer trail down the mountain Cait, Viv, Wes and about eighty of their hiking party followed the trail down past the rarely seen Temple of the Moon and the Great Cavern. Cait's eyes roamed wide around the interconnecting caves of the Temple of the Moon. Her eyes marvelled at the many complex structures and carvings. There guide knowledgeable in all things Machu Picchu had told them that the carved stonework was made to depict the three planes of the Inca religion. The world above, the physical life and the underworld, represented by the Condor, the puma and the snake. Descending back to the Machu Picchu ruins early in the afternoon they had then explored over the site until they were at the southwestern corner of the Plaza and the Temple of the Three Windows.  
"You know these windows are perfectly aligned to let the June summer solstice sunrise come through at just the right angle don't you Cait? " Asked Wes. "Of cause, there are those that say this knowledge was passed to the Incas by their God's, who were visitors from outer space." Wes smiled his face stretching into a broad grin as Viv shot him a look shaking her head.  
"Is that what you believe Wes? All this is down to some E.T. type aliens on vacation?"  
"I can tell from that remark you don't believe."  
"Ignore him Cait." Laughed Viv. "He's a bonified Roswell conspiracy theorist too." Next, they visited the Temple of the Condor and the Intihuatana stone. Later they returned to the hotel in Agus Calientes. Cait sat on the edge of her bed after taking a shower. She looked out onto the balcony of her room. Her gaze roamed over the many multi-coloured roofs to the vibrant green of the mountain side. Cait picked up her phone and began flicking through her photo gallery. She sent different pictures of Machu Picchu out to various friends. The first reply was from Emma.  
Swap with me Cait. I'll come to Peru, and you can have the heartburn and baby brain.  
Cait was on the flight over to Peru when Emma had texted to say Cait had been close, but she was having triplets not quads like Cait had predicted. None the less Cait had been satisfied she'd been proved right about Emma getting pregnant this time. It was nearly midnight in the UK, and Cait didn't expect any more replies till the morning. Getting ready for dinner with Viv and Wes in the restaurant of Gringo Bill's Boutique Hotel Cait found she was once again thinking about the interesting proposal Viv and Wes had left her to ponder on. It would be so nice to settle in one place for a while. She'd been living out of her suitcase and rucksack long enough she felt the time was right to take a breather from all this travelling.Time to Step back, and take stock of her life. Tomorrow they were heading back to Lima. An early morning bus ride to Ollantaytambo lay ahead followed by a minibus ride to Cusco. They were spending the next day doing some gentle sightseeing in Cusco. Cait was looking forward to wandering the many artisan markets and doing some bartering. Tuesday they travelled back to Lima with a flight booked for Mexico the day after. Standing on her balcony, Cait saw that Viv and Wes were already waiting for her in the restaurant. She could just see the top of Wes ' s silver-grey head. She stepped back into her room from the balcony and closed the doors behind her. Cait picked up a shawl and draped it over her shoulders. She slipped her phone into her small bag and went to join Viv and Wes. Cait knew New York was only an hour ahead of Peru, but there was still no response from her earlier Machu Picchu picture. She was beginning to regret even sending the message now. Cait couldn't deny she felt a pang of disappointment. She supposed the adage was true. Out of sight, out of mind. Cait presumed he'd most probably meet someone. It looked like she was going to have to think of a way to get her comics back without causing him too much hassle. 

 

Dee was ironing when Kristen had come bounding into the kitchen. She'd heard her call a greeting in the hall and folding the jeans up had placed the iron down waiting for Kristen to come through into the kitchen.  
"Oh, mum, I'm buzzin'!" Dee smiled putting the folded jeans into the correct laundry pile.  
"It went well then?" She asked. College had finished for the summer, and both Kerry and Kristen were looking for work. That morning Kristen had set off for Birmingham. She already knew she'd passed her level three course in media and theatrical make-up with a distinction and had been given a tip-off by her tutor that the TV studios in Birmingham were interviewing for apprenticeships over the summer to start in September.  
"It was amazing mum. We got shown around the studios and indoor sets. Then we got a guided tour of make-up and costume. They're working on an eighteenth century period drama at the moment. The wigs and costumes are fantastic. We even got to watch the local newscasters get made up before going on air. " Dee couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm; she wanted this so much.  
"So, they thanked us for coming along and all that, then said they'd be in touch." Kristen flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder and waved a hand in the air. Dee knew she wasn't finished. "So, right. I'm on the train back, yeah and I'm watching YouTube vids on my phone when it starts ringing. Well, I don't recognise the number, yeah, so I nearly didn't answer." Dee cast a look at Kristen shaking her head. "Yeah, I know, so shot me. Anyway, it's this woman who gave us the tour....." She paused, and Dee raised her eyebrows waiting. "They would like me to do work experience with them during the summer with a start as an apprentice in September. Yeeeeesssssss!" Kristen beamed doing a happy dance. "I got it; I got it." She sang.  
"What you got?" Kerry asked stepping into the kitchen "Whatever it is I hope it's not catching." she added heading straight for the fridge.Kristen recounted to her sister what she had just told Dee. Kerry listened in silence as she poured herself a glass of juice. Dee moved around from the side of the ironing board and holding out her arms enveloped Kristen into a tight hug.  
" Congrats. " Kerry mumbled, and Dee watched Kerry leave the room over Kristen's shoulder. Dee had noticed Kerry plaster the fake smile on for Kristen's sake, but she caught the way her face fell as she cast a wistful look in Kristen's direction before she disappeared back upstairs.  
"I'm so proud of you Kristen. " Dee smiled as she gave Kristen one last tight squeeze before realising her. Kirsten got out her phone and headed off to update as many people as possible on her news and Dee got back to the ironing. Dee hadn't had any Sal dreams since the wedding. It was all well and good having these little fantasies while she was asleep, but during the daytime, she found her mind would wonder too much. She'd find herself distracted around the house or even out shopping. She'd nearly told Cait about dream-Sal the night of the wedding. Her drunk mouth had come close to blurting it out but her drunk brain had stopped her. Cait would have definitely thought she'd lost the plot. It was best to put thoughts of Sal out of her mind. She had too much going on in the here and now to keep dwelling on the events of January.  
Dee checked the living room. Her mum was asleep curled up on the sofa a blanket draped over her almost skeletal sleeping frame. She'd lost a lot of weight. Lately, her appetite was none existent. The TV was on. Her mum didn't like waking up to silence so they always left the TV on even when she was asleep. Leaving the door open Dee could hear the presenter of the quiz show ask the simplest question; Dee felt sure a five-year-old would know the answer to. She heaved the laundry basket into her arms and carried it upstairs. Plonking it down in her bedroom, she decided to put it away later. Opening a draw Dee slipped the thin oblong package into her pocket and pushed the draw shut. Moving out onto the landing she gave a light, tentative rap with her knuckles on Kerry ' s bedroom door. Dee poked her head around the corner of the door.  
"You okay?" She asked stepping further into the room. Kerry screwed her lips up into a tight ball and nodded yes. But the nod quickly turned into a shake as her lips trembled.  
"Hey, come on Kerry don't cry. " Dee came to sit next to Kerry on her bed.  
"Don't get me, wrong mum, I'm pleased for Kristen, I really am. But I've sent my CV out to every tattoo parlour in a five-mile radius of here and not even one has got back to me. I haven't even had a thanks, but no thanks reply. At this rate, I'll end up working at McDonald's. "  
"Hey, what's wrong with Mackie D's? "  
"Nothin' if you like burgers. But I don 't even like McDonald's and it's not even close to what I wanna do."  
"Listen Kerry. It's only been three weeks since college finished. You wanna start worrying if nothing's happened by Christmas. Give it more time. I'm sure there's someone out there looking for a small, slightly edgy, fine art student fresh outta college."  
"What if it doesn't happen, though? What if the past two years have been for nothing? Maybe I'm just not good enough mum; maybe I'm hankering after something that I just can't have. I've wanted this since I was thirteen, you know that." Dee nodded. She knew Kerry had sketch book after sketch book with her own original tattoo designs on every page. Dee remembered Kerry and her friends would sit for hours in her bedroom. Her friends would come up with an idea, and Kerry would design it. From single small tattoos to full upper sleeve and neck designs the sketchbooks were full.  
"Don't you dare even think you're not good enough. Your art is amazin'; it will happen for you. If nobodies got back to you after Hannah ' s graduation then maybe you should think about going further afield than a five-mile radius." Kerry shrugged her lowered eyes running over the duvet cover. She sniffed a little and rubbed the back of her hand against her nose. "In the meantime...." Dee began, and Kerry ' s eyes swung around at the rustle of foil followed by the unmistakable crisp snap as Dee broke off a good chunk of the chocolate bar she held in her hand holding two pieces out to Kerry.  
"This isn't a Harry Potter book you know mum. There are no dementors at my window wanting to get in and suck my soul out." She bit off one piece. Dee already had two pieces in her mouth. She sucked letting the velvety smoothness of the confection melt on her tongue.  
"You don't have to be in a Harry Potter book to feel better after eating chocolate you know," Dee mumbled through the melting chocolate in her mouth. "It works in real life too."


	12. It's all in your head

San Diego Comic Con was two weeks away, and for Q it couldn't get here quick enough. He always looked forward to San Diego and New York Comic Con's. This year would be his thirteenth year at SDCC. They always purposely arranged their performances around comic con. Q was looking forward to hanging out with the other three guys plus the guys from 'comic book men' and to just basically geek out on comics. He needed this break, a chance to recharge his batteries and he liked the beer in San Diego.   
This morning he was running late. He should have been picking Sal up an hour ago. He hadn't overlaid; he hadn't taken too long in the shower either. What had set him back was not finding the t-shirt he wanted to wear. He'd first wore the shirt he had intended to wear this morning for the dream catcher challenge. He'd liked the black shirt with the pinkish/purple dream catcher design on the front and had kept his and taken it home. He'd wore it a fair few times during the show, but today when he'd wanted to wear it, he couldn't find it. He'd gone through his whole t-shirt collection and couldn't understand where the hell it had gone. Exasperated he had left every single shirt thrown into a large pile on his bed. He'd looked under the bed and then pulled out some furniture in case it had somehow got stuck behind it and the wall. He'd pulled his suitcase out of the closet and searched that, no t-shirt. He'd left the case laying open on his bedroom floor. He'd pulled rucksacks and backpacks out and searched through them too, still no t-shirt. He'd flung these across his bedroom in frustration. Dragging his fingers through his hair Q just stood looking at the mess he'd created.   
Q had made a grab for the first t-shirt on the pile and pulled it over his head. He'd stomped down the stairs in a complete temper that had made the cats scatter in different directions. Shoes on, he'd pulled on a checked flannel shirt, scooped up his keys and aviators and headed out to pick Sal up without any breakfast. Q had to turn back to his when he'd got more than half way to Sal's. The birthday present and card he should have picked up on his way out still stood on the table in his hall. He'd reminded himself to pick it up when he'd woken that morning, but the kerfuffle with the t-shirt had made him totally forget.  
"You're late."  
"Yeah, I know." he scowled but didn't elaborate why, and by the look on his face, Sal knew better than to ask. "Sorry." Q apologised "I've had a shitty morning."   
"It's okay I wasn't ready anyways man. " Sal turned and looked into the back seat. "Do ya mind if I put mine next to yours?" He asked. Sal had mainly turned to check he'd remembered to pick up his present and card as he reached across the front seat and added his own to Q's.  
"Sure, go ahead, knock yourself out, dude." Q turned the radio up louder the classic rock belting out of the open window of the jeep as he pulled away from Sal's house. 

 

Carly lay sprawled out on her sofa. It had been two weeks since Q had called her up, she should have heard from him again by now; he needed her after all. Carly had known Q would phone her the previous two times, he'd told her he would. The evening before he'd first called her she'd been watching an episode of IJ from season five. She knew Q was communicating with her through the show. Whenever he touched his face in an episode that was his secret way of telling her that soon she'd get a call. A finger rubbing the side of his nose, the way he closed one eye as he thought about something, or rubbing his eye with the ball of his hand. It was all for her, there secret way to communicate.   
She twirled a set of keys in her fingers as she sat and thought. It had been easy to get the keys cut at the local keyme kiosk at the seven eleven in Brooklyn. She'd let herself into his house three times now. The last time being when he was away for the weekend doing the Santiago Sent Us Tour. She always waited until dark; she didn't want to draw attention to herself and never switched the lights on. This last time she'd lain on his bed for a good hour in the dark before she'd decided to have a look through his draws.   
Stopping the twirling of the keys by grasping them tightly against her palm she ran her other hand over the pinkish/purple dream catcher pattern of the t-shirt she wore. It was cleanly laundered but still had a faint smell of him about it. She was getting anxious, why hadn't he got in contact? Her heart pained her with heartache for him; he was in her thoughts constantly. Sometimes her head felt heavy with the emotional pain of not being with him as she tried to see through blurred eyes. Some days the pain was so intense she almost wished it would go away, but then she'd watch an episode, and he'd tell her through his eyes that everything was going to be alright and one day soon they would be together.  
Carly remembered the episode from earlier that evening.She suddenly sat up; that was it. Blah, blah, blah. He was telling her it was her turn to make the next move. She smiled to herself; it was evident that's what he wanted now she thought about it.

 

"Happy Birthday Lillybeth. " Beamed Murr handing over his present and card.   
"Hey, Lillybeth I need more makeup on my nose," Joe called as Murr gave her a peck on the cheek. "I'm shining like a freakin' light bulb here sweetheart. And put that ferret down, you don't know where it's been!"   
"That ferrets been in the UK Joe." Lillybeth smiled getting out her make'-up brush.  
"Oh yeah. How was London? You know they put ferrets down their trouser legs in the UK don't you Murr?"   
"Shut up Joe." Murr smiled as he walked away to fetch his lunch.  
"He didn't go to London you know," whispered Lillybeth into Joe's ear as Murr moved out of earshot. Joe fixed his bulging blue eyes on Lillybeth. "He was in Manchester, he told me."  
"Did he take that new girlfriend of his, Erh whatsername Erh Amiee? "  
"No, they broke up."  
"How come you know this and I don't?" Joe asked slightly hurt.  
"A friend of a friend works with Aimee. She was pretty cut up about it. She thought they'd got somethin'. He never gave her an explanation just finished it before he went away told her it wasn't working." She gave one last sweep of his nose with her make -up brush. "There. You're all done."  
"Thanks, sweetcheeks and this is from Bessie, Milana and me, Happy Birthday Lillybeth." Joe beamed as he passed her the brightly wrapped present from beneath his chair. Lillybeth blushed a delicate shade of pink as Joe walked past her heading in the same direction as Murr.   
"Where's the birthday girl? " Q asked striding over to where Lillybeth stood. "Hey, Happy Birthday Lillybeth." His bad mood from earlier had worn off a little as he pulled Lillybeth into a hug. "Exactly how old are you this year ?"  
"You dope!" exclaimed Sal giving him a nudge in the ribs. "You don't ask women their age dude; that's so rude."  
"You're our age right?" she gave a noncommittal shake of her head smiling."My point is you look good for your age."   
"Dude, you can't say that either."  
"What I mean is you look good because you don't look as old as us."  
"You know he's frantically back peddlin' now Lillybeth don't you? You're such a, a hole sometimes Bri."  
"It's a compliment Sal; Lillybeth knows that don't you?" and he squeezed her shoulders tighter as she looked up at him. Sal placed his present next to the others and held his arms out.  
"C'mon girl birthday hugs all round." He smiled as Q slipped his arm away from her shoulder and Sal pulled her in for a tight squeeze.  
"Don't forget birthday drinks tonight guys usual place. Evey ones invited."Lillybeth smiled over her shoulder as she walked away from Q and Sal over to the wardrobe girls.  
"What was that all about this morning?" Sal asked flicking his fingers through Lillybeth's pile of cards.  
"Told you, I just had a shitty morning." How could he tell him that he was late because he couldn't find a t-shirt, he'd think he was insane.  
"Christ Q whatever happened this morning put you in a totally foul mood. I thought you were gonna get out the jeep and punch that guy when he swerved and cut you up."  
"Jerks like that shouldn't even be behind the wheel Sal. Fuckin' asshole." He picked one of Lillybeth ' s presents up and tossed the light package in his hands. "Can you just drop it now Sal okay? I didn't have time for breakfast this morning, and I'm famished I'd like to get to lunch before Joe, Murr and the rest of the crew have eaten it all." placing the present back onto the table Q took a couple of steps before turning to Sal. "C'mon !" He called over his shoulder, and so Sal stuffing his hands into his pockets fell into step behind Q heading in the same direction as Joe and Murr earlier.

 

Carly had pulled an all-nighter. After watching IJ episodes till one in the morning she'd reluctantly switched the TV off and got down to some work. Working from home meant she could set her own work hours. As long as she hit all her deadlines, she was more or less her own boss. She'd sat at her laptop till six that morning typing up the medical manuscript. Professor Masters was a regular client of Carly's. His deep, rich voice was filling her ears through the headphones as she'd typed out his spoken word in record time. Well, she was a proficient typist at 80 words a minute. That was why she always had a constant amount of work. She was one of the best transcript typists in the tri-state area.   
After realising Q was telling her to make the next move she'd slept. Waking up still sleepy from the couch Carly rubbed at her eyes. She'd slouched over to the small kitchen area and making tea and toast she had settled back onto the sofa. She pulled the blanket over herself then pulling her phone out Carly began flicking through different Facebook profiles of the IJ crew. Taking the last bite of toast she'd dusted the toast crumbs from her fingers and resumed the search. And there it was, she almost choked as she coughed slightly. She took a quick swig of tea to wash away the remains of the masticated toasted bread and brought the page back up on her phone again.   
Lillybeth Gonzalez. Birthday greetings littered her Facebook page one after the other as she smiled standing in front of a pile of presents. The one she held was wrapped in yellow paper with orange, blue and green spots on. Exactly the same pattern as the shirt Q had worn for the smush the clown punishment.   
Thanks for all the lovely Birthday messages drinks at Ulysses tonight usual time, see you there.  
And Carly knew with complete certainty that Q was telling her, in their secret way that he would be there and she should come down too.  
Carly had showered, changed and then driven her metallic blue Honda Civic into the city. She'd parked at Battery Park and had headed on over to Ulysses on Pearl Street. Sitting in a secluded corner, she had easy eye access to the door, bar and seating outside on the sidewalk. One by one she noticed different members of the crew show up till there was a large crowd of faces she recognised from Facebook crowded around the bar. The bar had a fun laid back atmosphere as a live band played to the gathered clientele. Carly studied Lillybeth. Laughing and joking with everyone she seemed at ease with all the birthday hugs and kisses she was getting. Then Q walked in, and Carly only had eyes for one person in the room.   
Intending to go over and introduce herself she slung back her glass filling her mouth with the last of the red wine. Just then the band struck up 'HappyBirthday' and everybody began singing. Carly stood up smoothing her skirt down. When she brought her eyes up the confident smile she had was wiped clean off her face. Q had his arm draped lazily around Lillybeth ' s shoulders as he sang Happy Birthday. Carly watched as he seemed to pull her into his side tighter his fingers caressing her shoulder. Everybody cheered as they finished singing. Carly's mouth fell into a slight gasp as she watched Q cup Lillybeth face between his hands and plant a lingering kiss smack bang on her lips. Carly's grip on her glass tightened as she sunk back into her seat. Her head hurt and her vision blurred. She blinked a few times her eyes slowly focusing on her skirt. That's when she saw the specks of blood. She'd been holding the glass that tightly it had broken the jagged broken piece cutting into the flesh of her finger.   
Carly stood running her finger underneath the cold water tap when Lillybeth came into ladies restroom. Watching from lowered eyes as Lillybeth shot the bolt across the cubicle door she swung her eyes towards the exit as another woman walked out.  
"You don't have a band-aid do you?" She asked as Lillybeth came out of the cubicle and began washing her hands.  
"No, sorry I'm afraid I don't. You could ask someone behind the bar they should have a first aid kit there."  
"Oh, sure thing, thank's I'll do that. Is it your birthday? I heard them singing to you just now." Lillybeth smiled nodding at Carly as she rinsed the soap off her hands. "Your boyfriend he's hot. I hope you don't mind me saying that ".Lillybeth looked perplexed for a moment.  
"Oh, no, he's not my boyfriend."  
"Oh come on I saw the way he looked at you when he kissed you. You feel the same way about him don't you?" Lillybeth moved over to the hand dryer.   
"We're work colleagues nothing more. I have a husband."  
"You're having an affair? I hope he's worth it."  
"No, we are not having an affair. Listen I don't know you, but I think your way out of order."   
"You think I'm out of order? " The restroom door started to open as Carly spun around positioning herself in front of the door. "FUCK OFF ASSHOLE." She snarled slamming her hand and foot against the door ramming it back into the unseen persons face. Lillybeth tried to get past Carly, but she found her way was blocked by Carly forcing her shoulder into her chest. "Is he good in bed Lillybeth? Is he? Does he do that thing with his tongue when he's licking your cunt Lillybeth that makes your knees buckle, does he? Do you like it when he sucks ' s your nips Lillybeth? Do you think about your husband when he's fuckin' you Lillybeth? Or do you not care about him? Just remember when Brian ' s fucking you hard Lillybeth, when he's thrusting his thick cock into your tight cunt, just remember he's thinking about me, ME! Not you, you fucking whore. Leave my Brian alone you slut, go back to your fucking husband and fuck his brains out and leave my Bri alone. You're a fucking boyfriend stealing bitch." Carly swiped a stray strand of Lillybeth ' s hair behind her ear as she stared into Lillybeths eyes. Lillybeth shivered at Carly's touch, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "Oh, now, don't cry you know messy, sloppy seconds just isn't his thing don't you?" Carly smiled as she stepped back from Lillybeth. "He's mine Lillybeth; he's only fucking you to make me jealous you know. Take your filthy slutty claws out of him Lillybeth and let him come back to me, bitch." Carly wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. Her lips glistened with spittal from her vehement words.   
Lillybeth stood against the restroom wall her whole body trembling as Carly left. She heard her shout at the person who'd tried to get into the restroom earlier.  
"What the hell's her problem?" asked Lillybeth s friend Terese. She watched Carly disappear into the bar before turning to Lillybeth. "Hey, Lillybeth what's wrong? Did that foul mouthed piece of trash upset you? She guided her back to the bar as she smoothed a hand across Lillybeth ' s back. "Hey, a double brandy for Lillybeth here, some psycho bitch in the ladies just give her a mouthful of attitude ." Q stood at the end of the bar and passed the large brandy to Lillybeth that the barman placed on the counter top.  
"Why would someone want to upset you on your birthday? "  
"You should know," Lillybeth replied as she sipped at the brandy the glass tremoring slightly in her hand. "Your sick ex-thinks I'm having an affair with you, Brian. I just got warned off."


	13. Still vulnerable.

"Yes, " Cait smiled swinging her gaze from Wes to Viv as she reached for her pint of Guinness. Lifting the glass to her lips, the sweet aroma hit her nostrils first as she took the first sip of the dark, heavy liquid. Viv ' s face broke into a huge grin as she gripped Wes by his arm.  
"Told you didn't I Wes? Didn't I say, only this morning that Cait would say yes today, didn't I Wes?"  
"Yes, honey you did."  
They'd been in Merida the capital of the Yucatan state of Mexico for a week now. Cait's Spanish had improved dramatically while she'd been in Peru with Wes and Viv. She was confident enough now to hold a decent conversation with the patients they were tending at the local hospital. She was volunteering in the emergency room which was a chaotic and unstructured atmosphere to work in compared to the Manchester Royal Infirmary. As well as suturing wounds and conducting patient exams Cait also spoke to families about dental care, hygiene and reproductive health. This evening was the start of their first weekend off, and tomorrow they were heading for a day at the beach only a 40-minute drive away in the Gulf of Mexico. But for tonight they were sat in front of Hennessy's Irish Bar, at a wooden table and bench with a green umbrella over their heads, drinking Guinness waiting for their meal of Fish and Chips. She could have been in Ireland except for the heat, humidity and the mosquitoes. They drenched themselves in repellent at least four times a day especially their ankles. Little buggers liked to bite ankles if they got the chance. Wes had forgotten his repellent one evening, and he had the bites to prove it. Cait flicked the handheld fan on and blasted her face in an attempt to cool down.  
"As soon as you get settled Cait we'll arrange an NCLEX exam for you."  
"The nearest exam centres only an hour away by subway," Wes added taking hold of Viv ' s wrist and directing the fan she held from her face to his.  
"You've got it all worked out haven't you?" Cait smiled.  
Of cause honey. Trust me a skilled trauma nurse like you Cait will breeze through the NCLEX exam. You don't need a visa to work because of your daddy's foresight, and you would fit in perfectly at the Radutzky. "  
"How do you know there's even a job going at the Emergency Department?" Cait asked.  
"It's not what you know Cait it's who you know." Wes winked tapping his finger against his large nose. "We've kept in touch with all our work colleagues while we've been roaming the world. We know that our dear friend Monique is due to go on maternity leave in September Cait. So by September there's going to be an opening in the emergency department." Viv reached for Cait's hand gripping hold of her fingers tightly.  
"I know it's sudden an' all asking you to come live in the downstairs apartment of our house but....well. .." Viv stammered a little as she released her tight grip on Cait's hand. Instead, she just began soothing her fingertips across Cait's knuckles. "Over these past few weeks Wes and I have come to look on you as the daughter we never had Cait."  
"Oh Viv, I'm really touched that you feel that way, but what about your son?"  
"Simon? Simon doesn't need his momma no more." Viv smiled wistfully at Cait before dropping her eyes to concentrate on the dark liquid in her glass. "I'm surplus to requirements in Simon ' s life nowadays. Don't get me wrong Cait, he's the best son any mother could wish for, and we love him dearly, but he's made his own life on the East coast. I can't fuss and mother hen him like I used to when he only lived a couple of blocks away."  
"She does so like to take care of people." Wes added nudging his wife's arm as he reached for his drink.  
"I don't need taking care of." Cait's brow furrowed slightly at the suggestion that she couldn't take care of herself and needed others to do it for her.  
"Oh, Cait, all bravado on the outside but vulnerable and weak on the inside. You're still healing Cait. So what if I want to be there for you while you come to the end of this life journey you've been on for the past six months. We want you to look on us as friends, good friends who helped you get the essence of the old Cait back again. " A part of Cait found it comforting to know Viv and Wes cared so much. Cait supposed that she had let it happen. Wes with his big bear like hug ribbing her on the way she spoke but making her feel safe at the same time as making her laugh. Having candid girly chats with Viv during breaks at the hospital and in the evenings during dinner. Cait knew she'd let Wes and Viv fill the gap in her life that losing her parents had left. It didn't feel wrong, though, and Cait thought that if Viv and Wes had ever met her parents, they would have been friends. Cait knew deep down Viv was right. Since the confrontation with Sean, she thought she'd cracked it. That the past was finally behind her and she could move on. A tiny part of Cait would always feel vulnerable she didn't think she'd ever be able to get away from that feeling.  
Cait had made her mind up before she left Peru concerning Wes and Viv ' s proposal. Making the decision, she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders but at the same slightly scared about what this meant for her future. Ella had been right she'd known she wouldn't be returning to the UK. To be honest, Cait had known deep down that she wouldn't be back either. Apart from her friends, there was nothing there for her anymore. Pastures new beckoned, and Cait knew it was what she wanted.  
"A toast. "declared Wes as a waitress brought over their food. Raising her glass Cait clinked her's against Viv and Wes ' s  
"To New York."  
"To New York." replied Cait.  
After dinner, they walked to the nearby Plaza where a concert was being held. The square was full of locals with just a few tourists interspersed. The singer sang to the gathered crowd his white hat tilted at an angle on his head his overwrought Spanish lyrics captivating the crowd. Half the band played sharp the other half flat, so they cancelled each other out. The Mexicans alternated between dancing Sambas and Tangoes. Wes got carried away trying to shimmy his hips in time with a group of laughing Mexican women as Cait and Viv looked on.  
"He's got no rhythm. " Laughed Cait.  
"What he lacks in dance technic he makes up for in enthusiasm." Viv laughed in reply tapping her feet to the music. " So, Cait are you going to take the opportunity to look up this guy you hooked up with when you get settled in New York? " Viv asked slyly. She knew Cait had hooked up with a guy from her neck of the woods in January. Cait had mentioned him once in passing, and Viv had picked up on the slight regret in her voice.  
"I would like to get my comics back Viv. They're important to me."  
"What about him? Is he important to you too Cait?"  
"I haven't seen him in six month's Viv. I haven't heard from him in an age either; it's over."  
"But you don't want it to be, do you? You should at least look him up if just to get back your comics. You never know it could be the start of something. " Cait shrugged her shoulders as she watched Wes come towards them doing a strange half walk, half dance. "Is he cute?"  
"Cute! " Cait shook her head." Oh, I wouldn't describe him as cute. A Puppy or kittens cute, He's, he's rough around the edges, handsome, funny and hot."  
"Sounds interesting." Viv smiled raising an eyebrow.  
"What sounds interesting? " asked Wes as he tried to pull Viv into the square for a dance.  
"Just girl talk Wes." Viv smiled as Wes pulled her small frame into his sharply before leading her into a bad tango. She mouthed 'help' as Wes twirled her quickly passed Cait.  
Cait deep in thought had walked silently behind Viv and Wes back to the hostel that night. Around the pool, they found fireflies their phosphorate green flame flickering and dancing as they lit up the dark edges of the pool. Cait was thinking about Brian, her heart fluttered beating a little faster as she wondered if she would see him again in New York.

Large rain drops pelted the window as the train travelled through the summer downpour. Dee watched the fat water droplets lash against the window. In the distance, she could see the faint image of a rainbow the sky a clear cloudless blue where the rainbow arched over rooftops to reach into the sky. Kerry and Kristen sat across the table from her. Headphones in, phones in their hands oblivious to weather outside.  
They'd travelled to Lincoln early that morning for Hannah ' s graduation. Catching a taxi from the train station to the Cathedral Dee's eyes had run up the stone structure. Hannah had been outside the Cathedral with her boyfriend, Tom. Dressed in a plain blue dress, the graduation gown pinned in place over her shoulders she clasped the black mortar board hat in her hand as Dee and her sisters had stepped out of the taxi. After hugs they'd walked together to the Cathedral's entrance.  
"Make sure mum stays in her seat, Tom." Hannah had smiled a twinkle of mischief playing at the corners of her mouth. "Don't let her disappear on a Harry Potter scene hunt around the Cathedral." Kerry and Kristen had sniggered as their big sister had regarded Dee through her glasses.  
"Oh, your so funny. Not!" Dee had remarked as they'd taken their seats.  
The students were called out in alphabetical order which meant there was a lot of hand clapping and cheering before they got to Hannah. After the closing oration, there was a recital by the choir of the University. They sang Non-Nobis Domine, and I Was Glad. Their voices perfectly in tune, singing the choral music as it reverberated around the pointed gothic limestone arches. Rays of summer sunlight pierced through the stained glass windows onto the gathered guests below. Dee thought it was beautiful. She wondered how many people had sat in the same position as her over the thousand years since the Cathedral had been built. As they'd listened to the same style of music being sung and had been moved like Dee. Blinking Dee had discreetly wiped the tears away that had sprung into her eyes for no reason.  
"Your dad would be so proud of you Hannah." Dee had whispered into her daughter's ear as they'd stood outside in the warm summer sunshine taking photos and chatting.  
"I know." she answered simply as she smiled at Dee her lip trembling slightly. "He would have still found something to moan about, though." she added laughing as Tom snapped another photo of Hannah and Dee together.  
Dee drummed her fingers on the table in front of her. The train had passed through the sharp summer shower, and they were close to Nottingham Station now. Dee still heard Hannah ' s words from earlier. They seemed to be playing in her head on a continual loop.  
"I'm not coming back home to live mum."  
They'd been sitting in The Lion and Snake pub just a short walk from the Cathedral. Drinking cider and eating a burger. Dee had caught the quick sideways look Tom had given Hannah before he'd clasped her hand tightly. Then looking Dee straight in the eye she'd said the words that made Dee's breath catch in her throat as the noise of the pub was blanked out by the rushing pounding sound of her heart. Kerry and Kristen wide-eyed froze their eyes on Dee. Dee didn't know what to say.  
"That interview I went for last week? I got the job. From September your looking at the new year one teacher at Monks Abbey Primary School."  
"That's brilliant news, Hannah." Dee smiled recovering quickly. She saw Tom and Hannah ' s faces relax as relief flooded their expressions. Dee noticed the tension in Kerry and Kristen's still faces drain away as they'd become animated again. "Are you moving in with Tom, or are you looking to rent somewhere new together? Come on, tell me all about it." With Hannah and Tom talking Dee could listen. It was easy to listen, she didn't trust her own voice or the words that might have come out in haste. In a way, Dee knew deep down she'd been kidding herself even to think Hannah would want to return home. They'd talked enthusiastically about their plans until it was time to leave.  
Remembering the last time she'd been on a train pulling into Nottingham Station Dee smiled to herself. She'd been with Sal, both oblivious to the audience they'd had as they kissed each other. Dee rarely permitted herself to think about Sal nowadays. January felt too long ago now. Dee saw that time captured in her memory as a snow globe. To shake the flakes awake was to stir the memory again. It was best to leave things still.  
Half way down the platform Dee's phone started ringing. It was Helen.  
"Hey, Helen we just got off the train, everything okay?"  
"Receptions rubbish Dee, did you just say you just got off the train?"  
"Yes, can you hear me, Helen?" Her phone went quite and then the call ended. Something was wrong Dee could feel it. She answered the phone on the first ring when it started going off again.  
"What's wrong Helen?" This time it sounded like a better connection.  
"Don't get the bus straight home Dee. Get off at the hospital; I'll meet you out the front."  
"Is it mum Helen? What's happened?" Dee asked panic slowly rising in her voice.  
"That chest cold mum's had the past couple of days? It got worse Dee. I called the doctor out. He called an ambulance about half an hour ago to take mum to the hospital. Dee, she's got pneumonia."

"


	14. No games.

Lord knew how Carly managed to drive home that night. Her whole body trembled as she'd sat in her car gathering herself together before she drove home. Almost blinded by stinging tears her head ached as she tried to piece together what had just happened. How could he do that to her? After all his promises.   
Carly had barged into her apartment swooping up the metal waste paper bin she scattered the collected rubbish across her floor. In her bedroom, she'd paused for a moment in front of her dressing table mirror. Brian ' s face smiled at her from around the frame. Different images of him spread out across the wallpaper behind the mirror. With steely determination, she began ripping at the printed pictures, crying uncontrollably in the process. She'd taken the bin out to the back yard. Carly had drawn the match across the box the smell of sulphur filling her nostrils before the match flamed. She threw it into the bin and watched as the single flame spread itself across the heap of paper. The flames in the bin seemed to reflect a burning in Carly's grey eyes as she'd watched the dancing flames lick and curl the paper into a charred heap.   
Carly curled herself up on the sofa staring into space. Waves of sensation fizzed through her brain as she hugged her arms around herself letting the strangeness she felt pass over her making her stomach twist in a crampy pain. It was all going to be so perfect, and now it was spoilt.  
Carly flicked the TV on scanning through the channels until she found the one she wanted and with her eyes glued to the flickering images on the screen she searched for a message.

 

Q wasn't being paranoid. He knew someone was defiantly watching him. He was sure he'd seen Carly sitting in the upper window seat of Flavor across the road from their officers on Broad Street. He'd been standing on the sidewalk in front of the building talking to Sal before heading for home.  
"You squared Comic Con with Roz?" Q asked darting his dark eyes across the sidewalk. He'd taken to searching passing people's faces sometimes even stopping dead in his tracks and spinning around on the spot. He half expected to come face to face with Carly when he did this. But all he succeeded in doing was making whoever was behind him at the time collide innocently into his back. They'd curse at him; he'd apologise profusely, then not long after he'd do it again.  
"She's not happy dude." Sal had winced remembering the one-sided yelling match they'd had the weekend before. Roz had done her best 'storm out of the house while pregnant stomp' but it had just turned into an undignified waddle. She had managed to slam his door, though, the sound had seemed to make Sal's teeth rattle in his head as it ricocheted around the hall. Roz was angry that Sal resolutely refused to change any of his plans. She knew he wasn't going to be at the birth. She had tried to persuade him, but Sal was having none of it. Roz had accepted his decision, but she just couldn't get her head around the fact he thought it was perfectly okay to go off to the other side of the country so close to the baby's birth. Q felt goosebumps raise on his arms as he shivered even though it was a bright sunny afternoon. He got that prickly tingly feeling down the length of his spine, and he knew right at that moment he was being watched. Looking across the road, he'd innocently scanned the buildings one after the other. For a brief instant, he locked eye contact with someone wearing a baseball hat pulled low over their eyes. He just knew it was Carly. He'd shot off then leaving Sal on the sidewalk wondering what was going on their unfinished conversation hanging in the air. Dashing between the traffic he got horns blasted at him, and choice words shouted out of van windows. Q dodged in front of another car as the driver slammed on his brakes. The car screeched to a halt the bumper inches from Q's shins. He'd waved his hands over the hood at the driver through the front screen as he shrugged apologetically. Moving quickly Q bounded through the door of Flavor and headed straight upstairs two at a time. She'd gone, and Q had stood panting for breath looking at the empty seat. He could see Sal on the sidewalk where he'd left him. He could see Sal, his friends eyes scanning the windows of flavor before they locked on his. Q could tell by the perplexed expression on Sal's face he didn't understand why Q had just ditched him or why he'd suddenly taken off in the middle of a conversation without a word. Q turned slowly around trying to work out how she'd managed to get by him without him seeing her. He was no Usain Bolt, but he hadn't been slow at getting across the street. He should have at least caught her coming out the front door. He picked up a screwed up wrapper and twisted it between his fingers thinking. Then he'd reached out his hand and cupped it around the half drunk coffee where he was sure he'd seen Carly sitting. The container and its contents were still warm. Walking back downstairs he'd asked behind the counter if there was a back exit. He was told there was, but only staff were allowed behind the counter. They were busy and had got quite annoyed with his what they thought purposeless questions.   
"What the fuck?" Sal asked as Q sloped back across the street.  
"It was her Sal, Carly. She was watching me from that window." He'd pointed up at the window. " Lost her, though. She was gone when I got up there."  
"Are you sure it was her?" Sal had asked.  
"Dame right I'm sure Sal. I 'm not imagining all this you know, she was defiantly there. " Frustrated he'd tried calling her again, but the same thing happened as the previous times he'd tried her phone. Straight to answer phone after only a couple of rings.  
"I saw you, Carly, I know it was you. We need to talk." He tried not to yell but couldn't contain his annoyance at her refusal to pick up his calls. "Please Carly, speak to me this can't go on?" He ended on a softer note trying to calm his voice. He didn't want to come across as sounding too aggressive and push her into doing something stupid again.  
Filming near Columbus Circle a couple of days later Joe had the microphone in his hand ready to tell Q what he had to do when Q his brows knitted together low over his dark eyes came storming over in the guy's direction. Murr looked a little scared as Q rammed the fake coffee cup with the mic inside into his chest. His eyes brimmed over with hardly disguisable rage as he yanked his ear piece out and headed off behind where the guys stood around the monitor out towards the corner of Central Park.   
"She was right there Sal; I swear I saw her sitting right there." Q waved frantically at the empty bench. Sal had been the one to chase after him as the others just looked on. "Hey, did you see the girl who was sat here, man?" Q asked a guy who was sat further up on the bench. The guy shook his head as Sal apologised for disturbing him and lead Q away. " Don't fuckin' apologise for me Sal." He'd pushed him roughly away as he searched his eyes over the area. He looked into the park hopelessly. She could have easily ducked into the park lost amongst tourists, people eating lunch, couples strolling together hand in hand and a multitude of other people just minding their own business.   
"I swear to God Sal I really did see her." He sighed dragging his palms over his face before running his fingers messily through his hair.

Q rubbed the gritty sleep from his eyes and reaching for his phone he'd squinting at the screen as it came to life in his hand. The illuminated time glowed at him in the still early morning it was just after four. He needed to take a piss. Rubbing at his eyes again he'd swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Waiting a moment to get his bearings he clicked the reading lamp on by his bed. Walked out of his bedroom he softly padding barefoot to the bathroom. On his way back to bed he'd opened the curtains a chink to look out onto the street. It was just beginning to get light when his eyes settled on the metallic blue Honda Civic parked outside his house. Even with a sleep fuddled mind, something was niggling him about the car; he was positive he'd seen it before. Starting to turn away from the window a glint of reflected light caught his eye. Pushing the curtain open wider Q peered out into the street and at the parked car. There was defiantly someone sitting in the driver's seat as he again caught the glint of light from the car. Shit, he was being watched. That glint was definitely a pair of binoculars Without stopping to think he'd made a dash downstairs; his fingers felt thick and cumbersome as he'd fumbled for his keys. In his haste, he rammed the wrong key into the lock and cursed to himself as he yanked the ill-fitting key out of the lock. By the time he'd opened the door flinging it wide, so the light from his hall spilt onto the porch the car was gone. Exasperated he'd stood on his porch scratching the back of his head looking up and down the street. He walked barefoot down to the end of his drive trying to get a better look at his part of the neighbourhood. Shivering he realised he was standing nearly on the sidewalk, in just his boxers in the early dawn light. Returning to the house Q took a hoodie down from the coat rack and shrugging his arms into it slouched into the kitchen and made himself a very early morning cup of tea.   
"You should call the cops." Sal had said as they'd driven to their office that morning.  
"I wanna try talking to her myself before getting the cops involved Sal. They'd want me to go down and make a statement and to be honest; I haven't got time for all that shit right now. I've still gotta pack for Comic Con. There is absolutely no way I'm missing it. I promise Sal, if I don't get to speak to her in the next couple of days then I'll call the cops. Promise."Q affirmed. 

That night Q had a terrible nights sleep. He only managed to sleep an hour at a time laying awake in between times staring at the ceiling in the dark. Evey time he woke up he checked the street, but the Honda didn't show up that night.   
The next night was the same. Q lay his hands clasped behind his head staring at the ceiling again. Dark shadows loomed large across his vision. Sometimes a car's headlights would swoop through the curtains, and he'd watch the light travel around his walls. He'd sighed to himself before hauling himself up from the bed. Q couldn't resist the urge not to check, and his breath caught in his throat when his eyes fell on the Honda. Moonlight gently glinted on its roof as the lunar light passed over the hood before disappearing obscured by cloud. His hands balled into tight fists, and he really wanted to run out there and hammer on the hood of her car till she listened to him.   
Not putting any lights on Q groped around on the floor finally his fingers touching the fabric of his boxers. Managing to get his feet through the leg holes he stood pulling them up then crept stealthily down the stairs heading towards the back of his house and the kitchen. Opening the back door he'd slipped his feet into the black no toe post flip flops. The night was humid, and he could already feel beads of sweat trickling down his spine. Coming around the corner of the house he looked dismayed. The gap was narrow between his house and next doors fence. It wasn't a high fence, but the neighbours had planted bougainvillaea in tubs on their side. The plant had grown up the fence using the wooden fencing as support. It's pink flowers hung over the fence, and Q wondered if he could manage to seek down the side of the house without the bougainvillaea's prickly thorns attacking his skin. He wished he'd got a torch but then that would just dispel the element of surprise he needed. There was nothing for it, so he took a deep breath and inched forward. Q winced as he felt the sharp thorns tug and scrape at the skin on his arms and chest. Nearing the far corner of his house Q flattened himself against the side of the house. The Honda was still there, and Q made a split second decision and rushed out from the shadows before the driver had any awareness he was there.  
"I know you're spying on me, Carly." Q yelled hitting his palm against the driver's side window. "I know what you said to Lillybeth the other week too; you know your way out of order don't you Carly? " Q could see her fumbling with the keys as she put the handbrake on. Her hand struggled to find first as her foot hit the clutch she rammed her other foot on the accelerator.  
"Carly, Carly," he called slapping his hand against the window again."Met me at Beans and Leaves Twelve o'clock tomorrow do you hear me, Carly? " He yelled as she let the handbrake off lifting her foot off the clutch her car shot off away from Q leaving him standing in the middle of the tarmac road. "We need to talk Carly, Carly." Q yelled after the retreating car his words lost in the darkness as Carly sped away. Looking back at his house he released he was going to have to push his way passed the bougainvillaea again to get back into his house.


	15. You're killing me

Maybe he should have asked Sal to come with him, but it was too late now. He'd just parked up in his jeep outside Beans and Leaves. Now he was here he was unsure how to handle the situation. He was angry, but was that the right frame of mind to be in to confront her? He needed to be calm, but he had serious doubts if he could remain calm when he came face to face with her. He absently rubbed at his slightly sore arms. He'd not realised how badly he'd scratched them till he was in daylight. They had bled a bit earlier, and he'd sat dabbing at the beads of blood with a tissue before trying to get back to sleep. That hadn't worked straight away either. He'd lain for what seemed an age thinking about what he'd say to her today before fatigue had finally claimed him.  
Carly watched waited for him from where she sat in one of the comfy armchairs in the window. She could see his jeep parked outside and she nervously ran her fingers around the rim of her cup as she grew nervous waiting for him to get out of his jeep. The answer had come in the early hours of the morning. Save me I need you. Carly had needed to be sure, though. Following him, to and from work she wanted to know for certain that he wasn't seeing that woman. Carly watched him walk across the sidewalk shrugging his arms into his hoodie. Carly knew she'd come close to getting caught in Flavor, but she'd managed to duck out the back exit without being seen by Q or the staff. Carly's piercing grey eyes locked on his as he reached for the handle of the coffee shops door. She thought he looked tired and on edge and Carly knew that this whole situation with her and Lillybeth was plaguing his mind. She smiled brightly up at Q as he sat opposite her. He didn't relax back into the soft cushiony chair but sat forward perched on the edge of the seat.  
"I got you a Lipton's" Carly smiled. Q pushed the saucer across the table away from him. The cups contents sloshed over the rim making a tea puddle that the cup sat in on the saucer. How could she act so normal?  
"So what kinda sick twisted game you playing here Carly?" His dark eyes flared at her as he tried to remain claim.  
"I'm not the one playing games here Brian. You were the one locking lips with that dirty hussy right in front me the other night.I don't understand how you could do that to me? But I know Brian, I know all about it. She's played you for a fool, but you can't see it. I'm here to help you, Brian. You can leave her and come back to me. Fuckin' bitch just wants to make me jealous."  
"Hey, whoa there Carly. Just hang on a minute. First Lillybeth ' s a friend of mine, and you don't get to talk about my friends that way, second nothing is going on between her and me, even if there was it has got fuck all to do with you."  
"You're lying to me. I know it's hard to admit even to yourself, but she's using you. We've got something, Brian, you and me. Don't let her spoil it."  
"Christ Carly we fucked, twice but that's all it was. There is no us, I don't want a relationship with you, fuck it, Carly, I don't want you, end of. Do you understand?"  
"You don't mean that Brian, I know you don't. You said one day we'd be together. I know it's hard for you to let yourself love someone again but we can make it work. I know you love me as much as I love you." Carly reached her hands out smoothing her fingers over the back of Q's hands. Her touch left him cold. Her fingers numb against his skin. He flicked her hands off him, then reaching out he grabbed her by the wrists. He leant his face forward close to her face.  
"I do not love you Carly." he snarled staring her straight in the eye.  
"Ouch, you're hurting," Carly whined as his strong fingers dug into the flesh of her wrists. Q still holding onto Carly flicked his gaze towards the counter of the coffee shop. The waitress was watching him with a look of concern on her face. Q let her go, and Carly rubbed her wrists as he stood up.  
"We're done here Carly; I'm leaving.."  
"But you haven't finished your tea." Carly whimpered, and Q felt sure she was going to cry. He grabbed her upper arm and pulled her up roughly from the chair.  
"Don't start fuckin' crying Carly. You know as well as I do there just crocodile tears. Are you trying to make the waitress feel sorry for you? Are you?" With that, he stormed out of the coffee shop with Carly stumbling blindly behind him. His fingers were pinching into her skin as he manhandled her out of the shop. Spinning her around Carly's back connecting with the large front window of the coffee shop.  
"Stay away from me Carly." He hissed his gaze darting back into the shop. He could see the waitress craning her neck to one side to get a better look at them through the window. " So help me God, if I see any sign of you or your car near my house or work I will call the cops. Your fuckin' crazy." He made to walk away from Carly but stopped half way across the sidewalk.  
"Maybe I should let her husband in on this thing you've got going with Lillybeth? He shouldn't be too hard to find on Facebook." Q turned back Closing the gap between him and Carly in two strides.  
"Don't even go there Carly. We worked out how you knew where we'd be for Lillybeth ' s birthday. The whole crews changed their privacy settings on Facebook. Leave Lillybeth and her family out of this. If you persist with this sick fantasy Carly, I will take out a restraining order against you." He pushed his face close into Carly's his warm breath skimming over her tightly pursed lips. "Believe me Carly I won't hesitate to call the cops.It's time to stop your sick games, now." Q Stepped back. He gave Carly one last glare of his dark eyes as he turned walking over to his jeep. Q resolutely slammed the door and drove away. Carly stood her cold grey eyes watching as he disappeared down the road. How could he do this to her? What gave him the right to call her crazy?

 

Cait looked forlornly at the phone she held in her hand. The screen was completely smashed. The whole phone was a total write off. She kept turning the mangled pieces over and over in her hand in the vain hope that somehow it would fix itself. Another piece of the screen fell out. In the palm of her hand, the small sim cards corners pressed into her skin. Unfurling her fingers, she looked down at the battered snapped in half sim card.  
She couldn't help recounting the incident once again as she played in slow motion the moment the trucks wheels ran over her phone. If she hadn't been in a hurry, if She'd put her phone somewhere safer than her back pocket then maybe she wouldn't be looking at this sorry mess now. Oh, she was angry with herself. She guessed that her first stop in New York would be to buy a new phone now. Cait stuffed the phone into her rucksack; she couldn't stand to look at it anymore. Wes and Viv sitting on her right had both dropped off to sleep. Cait closed her eyes and hoped she could do the same during the rest of the flight.

 

"They're gonna be late!" Murr stated rubbing his hands up and down his bare forearms in the cold early morning. He crossed his arms in frustration as Joe swung his case out of the trunk of the cab.  
"Enough already Murray. You worry too much. Q would never miss Comic Con."  
"I said we should have come in together, didn't I? Didn't I say just that?  
"You gonna wait here?" They were stood in the shaded overhang of the Airport entrance.  
"Too right I'm gonna wait here, Joe. I wanna be here to ball them out for being late as soon as they get here."  
"I'm hungry Murr I need food. You can stay here, but I'm gonna go find something to eat." Murr watched Joe flick the handle out on his suitcase and trundled it behind his back as he headed to the entrance. The wheels spun erratically each fighting to go in different directions. Murr knew Joe had eaten an early breakfast before he'd left the house this morning. Yet here he was on the prowl for food again. Murr's eyes repeatedly blinked as he watched a group of people come out of the Airport entrance. Joe reappeared. It was like he'd gone straight in done a complete u-turn and walked straight out again. Joe didn't go straight back to where Murr stood though but hung around by the entrance. Murr could tell he was trying to get his attention without drawing attention to himself. Joe Kept twitching his head over his shoulder. His eyes bulged as he looked at Murr trying to communicate with him.  
"What's wrong with you? I thought you were hungry? " Murr asked walking over to Joe.  
"Jesus Murr took you long enough." He leant forward conspiracy into Murr ' s face. "Tell me Murray is that who I think it is stood next to the tall guy with grey hair over to my left?" Joe inclined hid head over his left shoulder. Murr scanned his eyes quickly over the faces of the group of arrivals trying to figure out who Joe was meaning.  
"I dunno Joe, I can't see their face, who do you think it is?"  
"I believe that it's Q's nursie from the UK."  
"Oh, what was her name....... hang on......It was.....Cait....yeah Cait.Are you sure? You're not mistaken?" Joe just looked at Murr then turned to yell over his shoulder.  
"Hey, Nurse my friends got this boil, it's right on the end of his dick it needs lancing how ya fixed?" Cait turned fixing her hazel eyes on Joe's blue ones. Viv and Wes were busy behind her getting their stuff loaded into a cab. Cait ran her fingers through her chestnut brown hair as she flicked her eyes between the faces of Joe and Murr. "Nurse Cait, well look at you, sweetheart. A sight for sore eyes if ever there was one. How the hell are you?"  
"Joe right?" Cait asked groping in the back of her memory for his and the other guy's name. "And.....James, is that right?"  
" You on vacation?" Murr asked swiftly running his small beady eyes over Cait.  
" Not exactly." Cait smiled as she felt Murr ' s eyes scrutinise her. His eyes seemed to linger on her tanned bare legs. " I'm gonna be sticking around for a while I'm moving into a place in Brooklyn, and I might have the opportunity of a job come September. So, all in all, I'm here to stay really." Cait looked over his shoulder hoping that maybe she'd see the familiar figure of Brian. She couldn't help but feel slightly deflated when her eyes fell on empty space.  
"That's such good news Cait." Joe swivelled his eyes at Murr. "Is it okay with you to tell a particular acquaintance of ours that you're in town?"  
"Yeah, sure." Cait shrugged. "How is Brian?" Cait asked she survived she had nothing to lose in asking. She caught a sharp look exchanged between the two guys. "Ask him if he's been taking care of Harley for me? Where you guys off to?" Cait asked as she handed her case over to Wes.  
"San Diego Comic-Con."  
"Oh, you're so lucky. I'm very jealous right now. Hey, but I'll be around for New York Comic Con in the Autumn, so that's all good."  
"You mean the Fall. If you live in America, you gotta talk like an American."  
"Thanks for the advice but that is never gonna happen. Look, guys, I've gotta go. I hope you have a great time at Comic Con." Cait smiled getting into the cab next to Viv.  
"I'm sure Quinn will give you a call soon Cait." It was kind of him to say that, but Cait doubted it very much. Cait deduced the look that they'd exchanged meant he had a girlfriend.  
" Listen, guys I had an accident with my phone, can you tell him I won't be contactable until the end if the week." Cait was mainly thinking about her comics.  
She waved at Joe and Murr as the cab pulled away from the Airport front. Joe and Murr stood side by side watching and waving as the cab left.  
"Oh man, Sal forgot his medication. We were on the bridge before he remembered. We had to turn back guys, guys...." Q was getting no response. "Who are you two muppets waving too?" He asked clipping them both across the shoulders.  
"What do ya think Joe? Those shorts she was wearing dude, she is most definitely rocking the traveller look. She's looking hot, man."  
"Hot! More like on fire Murr."  
"Who guys? Who's on fire?"  
"Cait." They answered together. They could almost hear the cogs cranking over in his head as he slowly processed that tiny nugget of information.  
"Wait you mean Cait as in Nurse Cait from the UK Tour? " Sal appeared at Q side chewing gum trying to follow the conversation he'd just walked in on. He was about to apologise to Joe and Murr for being late, but the words died on his lips as his eyes darted between his friends.  
"Yup, you just missed her. She's just flown in this morning. What was it she said, Joe?"  
"Somethin' about you taking care of Harley? Does that mean anything to you?  
"Yeah, yeah." He nodded. " Did she say how long she was gonna be in New York for Joe?"  
"Oh, she's not on vacation. No, she's got a place in Brooklyn, sounds like she's got a job lined up too." Murr looked at his watch. "Hey, guys we really should check in." He turned and marched away from them towards the entrance of the Airport.  
"I'm still hungry." Added Joe following Murr.  
"Wait, wait up guys did she say anything else.... did she eh. ....did she ask about me?" Q followed Murr and Joe.  
"Can someone please tell me who the fuck you're talking about here?" Asked Sal bringing up the rear.

 

'The number you have called can not be connected at this time. Please try again later.' These words swam around Q's head on the flight over to San Diego. He tried texting instead. He was impatient. Preoccupied thinking about Cait, Q knew he'd let things slide trying to keep in contact with her. He felt bad about that. Forsaking tentative contact with Cait he'd instead let Carly into his life and look where that had got him. One messed up delusional woman making a nuisance of herself. By Thursday Q decided to try Cait again. After all, it was close to the end of the week. This time he was getting an answer phone message.  
Hi, you have reached the voice mail of Caitlin Cross. I'm home right now, but I can't find the phone. Please leave me a message and when I find the damn thing I'll call you back. He felt anxious over how to exactly start the ball rolling with her. He decided to play it cool.  
Hey, Nurse Cait. Harley ' s doing just fine at my house. You wanna come over and check next week after I get back from Comic Con? It was Friday before he got a reply.  
Hey, Brian. Sounds like a plan. Let me know when you're back, and we can work something out. Cait .

Sal spent the first part of the return flight back to JFK in a state of nervous panic. Q watched him pace anxiously up and down the aisle.  
"Dude, sit down, please. " Q implored. Sal sat, but moments later he was back up again. He had to do something to work off the nervous tension that raced through his body. Roz had called to say she was in labour just as they'd been boarding the flight home. Sceptical at first Sal 's face had slowly drained of colour Roz assured him this time it wasn't a false alarm. She'd already called him twice over the weekend to announce that she was in labour. Twice she'd sent Sal's stressed out mind into a frenzy of nervous energy, and twice that feeling had fizzed out like a dying sparkler when she'd called to say it was a false alarm. Floating on a high of anxious trepidation his emotions felt like they were spiralling out of control. To then be told it was a false alarm felt like the rug was being pulled from under his feet as all his feelings plummeted back down to earth. False alarm or not the realisation that the baby would fairly soon be making it's entrance into the world had hit Sal full in the gut. But this time it was actually happening. For months he'd been in denial. His relationship with Roz was tentative, and Sal knew he had one more bridge to cross before he felt he could move his life forward. 

Agreeing to hang out at Sal's to wait for news of the baby Q let his suitcase skate from out of his hands across the hall. Thankfully it came to a standstill before it knocked into the hall table. He contemplated calling Cait, but Sal needed him right now. Even so, he found it hard to resist the temptation to call her. Tomorrow thought Q he would call her tomorrow. What were a few more hours added onto the past six months? Picking up his mail he flicked through the letters distractedly.Q discarded them on the hall table as he headed into his living room. He failed to see an oblong piece of card just poking out from underneath the toe of his snickers. It slid unseen from the soul of his snicker to lie under his suitcase the NYPD lettering facing upwards for no one to see. Retrieving what he'd been keeping for this precise moment, he fussed each cat, in turn, apologising that 'daddy was sorry; he was going straight again, but Uncle Sal needed him.' Chuckling to himself he scooped up his keys as he headed for the door. If Sal knew he referred to him as 'Uncle Sal' to the cats, he'd have a hissy fit that would outmatch all three of his cats put together. He already thought he was insane calling himself their 'daddy'.  
Opening his door to Q, he found his friend drawing on a huge cigar. Q held the smoke in his mouth tasting it for a second before he let the fragrant smoke out.  
"Want one? I got a whole box full see." he grinned. Sal thought Q had been in a pretty buoyant mood all Comic Con. He'd surfed it was due to putting the Carly incident to rest and reconnecting with Cait. "They're Cuban, and I brought this to go with them." He held a bottle of Armagnac in his hand. "It's traditional, right? Cigars and something to wet the babies head with? You heard anything yet?" He asked stepping passed Sal into his hall as he slipped his shoes off. Q flipped the lid of the cigar box as Sal leant his face down inhaling the aroma. The box smelt of rain soaked rich earth. Sal ran his eyes over the neatly lined up cigars sitting side by side in the box. He took one as the Q followed him through to his living room. They spent the next pleasant hour enjoying the cigars, drinking the Armagnac, and talking about everything and nothing. Sal was opening his windows to try and help the fog of cigar smoke escape his living room when his phone went off.  
"It's Roz." He stated simply looking at the screen.  
"Well, answer it then you dope."  
"Hi....Oh hi there......uhuh......yeah......uhuh......okay.......thanks. Bye, bye."  
"Well?"  
"It's a boy, seven pounds three ounce born at a minute past midnight."  
"Congratulations man. Are you going to see him?"  
"Not right now Q in the morning. Roz's mom says she's exhausted."  
"You got the baby anything? "  
"Like what?"  
"A teddy's usual isn't it?"  
"No. All I've got is a ......erm. ........Oh shit......This is gonna sound really fuckin' bad man. I've got a paternity test."  
"Dude, I'd give it a day or two." Q's expression clouded. "I don't think Roz would appreciate you turning up with the paternity test when the little guys less than a day old."  
"I need to know Bri." Sal had sighed.  
"Yeah, I know you do dude."  
They retired then to Sal's garden. Sitting in the dark, the light from the kitchen illuminated their backs as they drew on another cigar each. Finishing the Armagnac Q called a cab and left Sal's about three that morning.  
Q, soaked full of brandy a miserable Benjamin in his arms was singing and trying to dance to a Billy Joel classic when there was loud knocking at his door. Worried that the neighbours had complained about his musical choice for five in the morning he hesitated before letting go of Benjamin. The cat glad to be out of Q's grasp slunk away to hide as Q headed for the door. He wasn't expecting anybody and so slipped the chain before he opened the door.  
"Good Morning Sir. Would you be Mr Brian Michael Quinn? Date of birth the 14th of March 1976?" Q pushed his face across the gap between his door and the surrounding frame. His eyes quickly flicked over the two burly guys standing on his porch. The peak of their hats rested low over their dark eyes as they watched Q look them up and down. Dark trousers, blue shirt, badge glinting slightly in the early morning light. Q's eyes fell on the gun that rested on the hip of the cop closest to his door.  
"Yeah. Erh, yes officer."  
"Can we see some ID, please? Drivers licence would be good." Q passed his wallet through the gap, and the two cops surveyed the photo on his licence as they then ran their cold eyes over his face.  
"One of our senior colleagues called around here last week sir, Detective Pellegritti. Left you his card, hoping you'd call him Mr Quinn."  
"I've been out of town for the pasted week officer. I just got back late yesterday, my friend just become a dad. Well, he thinks he did anyway, long story. Anyway, we had a little celebration at his house," Q stopped as the two cops rolled their eyes from one to the other. "This isn't about my music choice is it officer?"  
"No Mr Quinn. Although I do think it's time you put Billy to bed." Q smirked and swayed a little. "Can we come in Mr Quinn?" Q's brows sunk heavy over his eyes as he thought.  
"Do you have a warrant?"  
"No, sir."  
"Then you can't come in the officer; I know my rights." The two cops took a couple of steps away from Q. They whispered to each other as Q pushed the side of his head against the gap the chain offered trying to hear them.  
"We need you to come down the station with us Mr Quinn."  
"Are you arresting me?"  
"No. My colleague, Detective Pellegritti would like you to help us with our inquiries down at the station."  
"Now?"  
"Yes, Mr Quinn now."  
"But, officer. I'm more than a bit pissed you know."  
"Oh, we are aware that Mr Quinn. We think that it's in your best interests to get your coat and come down the station now. Do you understand what we are saying Mr Quinn?" Q nodded as he shut the door. The officers heard the rattle of the chain as Q slipped it off. Standing on his porch locking the door Q shivered slightly as he fell into step between the two officers.  
"What is it you need to talk to me about officer? "  
"Your suspected involvement in a criminal offence Mr Quinn."  
"Whoa, what criminal offence?"  
"Statutory offence of sexual assault Mr Quinn."  
"Isn't that......er. ......" Q struggled to form the words his tongue felt like it had grown too big for his mouth. "Isn't that rape?"  
"Yes sir, sexual assault includes rape." The officer's hand pressed firmly on Q's head as he got into the cops cruiser. Q watched his house with sorrowful eyes as the cruiser headed down the street. Suddenly he was feeling stone cold sober.


	16. Is this my life.

The grey - blue of the Atlantic Ocean stretched undulating to the horizon. Below the cliffs the surging blue - green of the Ocean pulsated against the seashore as another wave rearing and rolling topped with white spume crashed against the weary rocks.  
Dee watched this happen over and over again, lost in the rhythmic sound of wave on rock. What would it be like to just step off the edge? To fall through the air, then crash into the water. As your helpless body is pummeled against the rocks the current pulling you under till your lungs fill with salt water and you, drown as the tide washes you away. What would it be like not to be anymore?  
She blamed herself, even though she knew deep down she couldn't have prevented it. Dee felt that maybe if she'd picked up on the fact that her mum's cold was more than just a simple cold, then maybe she'd still be here. Doctors and nurses had assured Dee that she wasn't to blame. Her mum was weak and didn't have the energy to fight the infection. It was enviable this was going to happen one day. It hadn't made Dee fell any better, though.  
Dee hated hospitals. From that lingering smell of disinfectant and hand sanitizer mixed with chemicals to the feeling of fear, anxiety, sickness and helplessness. She couldn't stand the places. Too many bad memory's swamped her as soon as she walked through the swinging doors of the entrance.  
For two weeks Dee had sat by her mum's bedside.She was unresponsive an oxygen mask over her face, and Dee could hear the crackle in her mum's chest every time she took a breath. Dee talked to her endlessly. The sale of her mum's house had finally gone through. It had sold within six weeks of it first going on the market.But it had taken three times as long to finalise the paperwork as it had to sell it. Dee had been full of plans. She was going to convert the dining room into a downstairs bedroom for her mum. Next, Dee was going to knock the downstairs toilet through into the garage and turn it into a wet room. All this she told her mum as she stroked her hand. The dry, wrinkled skin feeling like dried-out leather to her touch. Dee played Dusty Springfield, her mum's favourite. Even the nurses would be humming along to 'I only wanna be with you' or 'I just don't know what to do with myself' as they made her as comfortable as possible administering the morphine that helped to calm the pain.  
Dee had to watch helplessly as her mum had slipped into a delirious episode. Muttering to herself her mum was convinced she'd lost her shoes. Protesting angrily that how was she supposed to dance with Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly without shoes before she'd slipped into unconsciousness. Three days passed with Dee rooted to her bedside. Her breathing became sporadic until that last day when she didn't take another breath, and Dee knew she was gone.  
Turning from the cliff edge, Dee carried on along the South West coastal path that would finally bring her onto Portreath Beach. It was close to sunset before she neared the beach. The sun, a fiery orb was slowly receding into the Atlantic. The sky coloured an assortment of reds, oranges and yellows. The Ocean mirrored these colours as the waves breaking onto the beach were tinted a vermillion red. Dee watched the sun sink into dark waters of the Ocean as the sky turned a purple colour.  
Dee had promised her mum she'd scatter her ashes in the same place they'd scattered her dad's. Dee felt like everything was changing around her and she was on the outside looking in, watching it happen.  
Her sister Helen and her fiance Dean had moved away. Dee had felt slightly hurt. It seemed to her that they had just been waiting for her mum's death to go. Dean had accepted a promotion which meant that he and Helen were moving closer to the company he worked for 's head office. Helen had been shocked that Dee could even think such a thing. Dean had applied for the promotion way before their mum had even gone into hospital. Dee had wanted to know if she would have still moved if their mum had been still around. From the hesitation, before Helen had spoken again Dee had known Helen would have still moved. She would have gone and left her to it. Dee knew that Helen could just go now without feeling guilty. Sheffield was only a short drive away after all, and Dee had let it go. She really didn't have the energy or inclination to argue with her sister about it; it was done now.  
It didn't help either that Kristen had found travelling to Birmingham every day to do her work experience tiring. She'd made friends with another girl called Sophie who lived in Birmingham. Sophie had a two bed flat above her mum's hairdressers shop. Kristen had taken to staying with Sophie while in Birmingham rather than suffer the tiring train journey twice a day. Dee saw her at weekends. Kristen was full of stories of the studios and Birmingham and Sophie ' s flat. Dee could read her like a book and knew what was coming next. She was getting the feeling that Kristen was slowly building up to tell her what Dee already suspected. When she started her apprenticeship in September, she was going to move in with Sophie.  
Dee could read Kerry like a book too. Walking down the garden path after her mum's funeral Dee had found Kerry having a crafty smoke behind the bins. Kerry had passed over the lit cigarette to Dee expecting her to stub it out on the wall, but she didn't. Dee had taken a long drag of it regarding Kerry through lowered lids.  
" Since when did you smoke mum?"  
"Back in the day, when I was dancing full-time breakfast was coffee and a fag, lunch was an an apple a coffee and a fag, dinner was not much, washed down with coffee and another fag." Dee had taken another drag then passed it back to Kerry. " So, When we're you gonna tell me about Treasured Ink? "  
Kerry ' s face didn't alter as she'd taken one last drag of the cigarette before stubbing it out again the wall. She'd flipped the lid of the bin and dropped the butt in. Dee had caught snippets of Kerry's phone conversations mentioning Treasured Ink, so she'd Googled the name. Treasured Ink was in Lincoln.  
"They've been the only studio that's actually acknowledged me, mum. I've told them I'm up for it. Doing the grunt work, you know sweeping up, putting stuff back where it belongs. Looking after clients during and after their sessions, I want to learn. If I'm doing that it saves them time, so they have time to teach me. Big Jim says he'll be my mentor train me up in health and safety too. Pays not brilliant, but I'm gonna look for an evening job." Dee had watched Kerry's face light up, her expression was animated, her dark eyes sparkling as she'd spoke. Dee knew that this was what she so desperately wanted, someone to give her a chance.  
"Lincoln ' s a fair distance to travel every day, Kerry." Dee had said. She'd felt her stomach grumble at her then; she'd not eaten all day, too anxious about the day's events to think about eating. Dee knew what Kerry was going to say next.  
"Hannah says I can rent her spare room, at a cheap deal."  
"I know it's what you want Kerry, have you told them yes?" by the look she got from Kerry she knew she had.  
Seagulls squawked in the distance as the wind whispered in Dee's ear playing her dark hair around her face.  
"WHAT'S THE POINT OF ME ANYMORE.?" She shouted into the wind. The wind whipped back into her face blowing her hair madly about. Turning Dee headed down to Portreath Beach the salty air making her eyes sting.  
Dee walked around the harbour in the twilight heading for the cliff top B&B. It was starting to get chilly, and Dee was going to pick up a jacket. She'd scattered her mum's ashes that morning. Tomorrow Dee was heading back home via Emma's in London. Putting off the inevitable return to the empty house and the aching loneliness she felt in the house that used to be a home. Even the enthusiasm of the dance classes had worn off. She could dance the Salsa just as well as the class tutor, and for a while had helped in the class instead. One time the studio had even asked her to stand in for the tutor for a couple of lessons. She'd really enjoyed it, but the studio said they didn't have any permanent teaching slots available. Dee collected her jacket and headed back out, only going next door to the Portreath Arms next to the B&B. Crossing the car park Dee's phone began to ring. Answering it, she redirected herself towards the low wall that ran around the pub and sat down.  
"Hey, Cait."  
"Hey, Dee. I've been trying to get hold of you for the past three hours."  
"Mobile receptions rubbish up on the cliffs Cait."  
" How are you, Dee?"  
"Oh, you know Cait. I'm doing what I always do, just getting on with it like always, but I'm tired Cait, and just feeling, down in the dumps I suppose."  
"You need a holiday."  
"I am on holiday; I'm in Cornwall."  
"Scattering your mum's ashes on a Cornish beach isn't a holiday Dee."  
" It's the closest I'm going to get to one Cait. I'm leaving tomorrow anyway; I'm calling in on Emma on the way back home."  
"Give her my love Dee."  
"Of cause. How are you Cait? How's New York? You settled in your new place yet? Have you got the results back from this exam thing you took on Monday?"  
"I get the results back tomorrow. The thing is, Dee my new place is nice, but it's missing something.It's missing that personal touch."  
"And your point is?"  
"I need someone I can trust to arrange for my stuff that's in storage to be shipped over here. I need someone organised. You, Dee I need you."  
"Me?" Dee questioned thinking for a moment." Yeah, I can do that. It'll give me something to do. Send me the details, and I'll get on it as soon as I get home."  
"Oh, Dee, that's great thank you. One other thing. My clothes. All the warmer winter stuff I'll need it soon, and Jimmy and Chad I want them with me too. So how ya fixed?"  
"What for?"  
"Are you being dense on purpose? I'll pay the excess baggage charge and pay for Jimmy and Chad too. Please, Dee, come stay with me in New York."


	17. Still burns.

Waking up that first morning in the near-empty apartment of Viv and Wes, Cait had felt content. Viv and Wes ' s house was a two storey with a basement apartment. Built at the beginning of the twentieth century it was situated in the Bath Beach area of Brooklyn on 17th Avenue. The main part of the house was split into two apartments. Viv and Wes occupied the three-bed apartment on the second floor. Cait was on the first, and she had no furniture. Both of the bedrooms had double beds with pillows and covers, but after that, there was hardly anything else. Cait passed the single red tub chair sitting in the living room as she'd padded through to the kitchen, her bare feet slapping across the dark hardwood floor. The kitchen had a small table and two uncomfortable looking chairs. She had a quick shufty through the cupboards. Miss matched crockery, and some cutlery meant she could at least eat a meal, even if she couldn't cook one due to the lack of pots and pans. There was so much to do; she didn't know quite where to start. Deciding a shower was as good a place as any to start from Cait had unzipped her suitcase and tipped the whole contents onto the bedroom floor. She'd picked out a clean set of clothes and headed for the shower.   
First stop was a new phone; then she had to wait for her old UK network to transfer her number to her new US network. Most of Viv and Wes ' s belonging were stored in the empty third bedroom of the basement apartment. A work colleague of theirs by the name of Issac lived down there and had been keeping his eye on the place while Viv and Wes had been away. Cait spent her first full day in New York shopping. With the fridge stocked, food in cupboards, the washing machine sloshing around her first load of washing Cait's thoughts had turned to Brian. She'd probably missed him by seconds at the Airport and thought that maybe that was a good thing. She'd picked up on the shifty looks exchanged between Murr and Joe and was smart enough to realise that meant there was a girlfriend on the scene.  
She'd paid for the NCLEX exam and forwarded all her documentation before leaving Mexico and had received the confirmation e-mail. All she needed to do was book the exam. Her thoughts turned to her stuff stuck in storage in the UK. She didn't have much but what she did have was her's. Then there was Jimmy and Chad. Cait could just see them curled up in front of fire when the winter came. Cait had concentrated her mind on the NCLEX exam. Viv had lent her some books, and she was planning on doing some swotting up. After the exam, Cait thought that she'd get in contact with Dee and ask her to help get her stuff sorted and put on a cargo plane with Jimmy and Chad.   
Thursday evening Cait sat out on the decking with Viv sharing a bottle of wine. The laptop was open as Viv hovered the cursor over the book button.   
"Do it. "Cait had urged. "Do it before I change my mind and chicken out. " Viv smiled and clicked. The page refreshed and then confirmed her booking.   
"Wow, 7th of August." Cait sighed reaching for her glass. "That's only two weeks away. I didn't think I'd get a slot so soon."  
"It can sometimes slack off in August Cait. June and July are the busy months, new graduates and all that. Maybe they had a free space come up from a cancellation. Cheers Cait." She'd clicked her glass against Cait's. "Where's your new phone?"  
" In the kitchen on charge. It takes a bit of getting used to, being able to connect to WIFI without any hassle."  
"Oh, I know. I find I appreciate it more after living for months in the middle of nowhere with a terrible mobile connection and none existent WIFI. So, Cait, you got any plans between now and the exam? "  
"Apart from heaps of swotting Viv? Nah, nothing."  
"Well, Wes and I thought we'd show you some of the sights Cait. You need some off time in between study honey."   
"Where are you thinking of taking me first then Viv?"  
"Statue of Liberty ' s a good place to start Cait."  
"Of cause." Cait nodded taking a sip of her wine, where else would you start.  
Brian ' s text on Friday had brightened Cait's spirits a little even though she thought it wasn't a good idea to go around to his to pick up the comics. How awkward would it be to turn up at his door and act as normal as possible in front of his girlfriend knowing what they'd had together? Neutral ground would be best Cait had thought. Pick up her comics, have a catch up with him, then leave. Six months had only managed to dampen the feelings she'd had for him moderately. She knew the embers of the flame she carried for him still burnt and Cait feared it would burn stronger again as soon as she laid eyes on him.   
The news from Dee on the weekend was the worst. If she hadn't got the NCLEX exam booked she would have flown over. Dee had assured her she was fine, what would have been the point anyway, she couldn't do anything, and Lorraine was going to be at the funeral with Angie and Zoe so she wouldn't be on her own. Cait thought she sounded tired and drained. All the stress and emotion of the past couple of week wrung out of her. Cait listened to her sad croaky voice over the line. Her heart went out to her friend, and she knew that Dee was trying to stop herself from crying.   
Monday, turned into Tuesday and Wednesday followed close behind, and still, she'd heard nothing from Brian. Before Cait realised it, Friday morning was creeping through the front windows blinds, and there was stone cold silence from Brian. She couldn't face contacting him right now. Cait felt the enviable rejection was something she could do without. She needed to get through this NCLEX exam if she had any chance of building a new life in New York. The exam was her number one priority right now, not chasing after something that wasn't meant to be.  
Cait only allowed herself one day off for the Statue of Liberty trip with Viv and Wes the rest of the days leading up to the exam she studied. She used uworld LaCharity Prioritization and the NCLEX masterly app and wrote out ten-pagers of notes. She made drug note cards and wrote down every single med she didn't know. The day before the exam she reviewed all her written notes and drug cards and then had an early night. She'd woken at five the morning of the exam, and Issac downstairs had driven her to the testing centre for eight. She'd been early, though, the cold morning air making her shiver slightly as she'd watched Issac drive away.   
Cait had stood on the sidewalk. She'd craned her neck up as her gaze roamed up the high nine-story building in front of her. The wooden entrance door was battered and faded, and Cait thought a sand down, a touch of teak stain and a varnish would make the entrance more welcoming. She'd absently drummed her nails on one of the blue mailboxes on the sidewalk where she stood as she checked the time. It was going to take six hours to complete the exam. That didn't include brake time either; it was going to be a long day. She'd given herself a shake wiggling her fingers in the air as she'd let out a claiming breathe. She'd smoothing her palms over the skirt she wore. Cait had bought some new clothes for the exam. She'd thought that the cut-off shorts and vest tops she had weren't the right attire for the exam so had shopped. She'd bought a simple plain knee length skirt and a sleeveless summer blouse. Cait stepped forward taking a deep breath as she'd moved to the door her arm raised ready to push the swing door and enter the examination centre.  
Towards the end of the exam, Cait found she wasn't getting any bolded or priority questions; then when she'd hit question a hundred and forty, the computer had just switched off. Convinced she'd failed Cait had made her way back to 17th Avenue in a dejected mood. When Viv had called around later, Cait had expressed her fears that she'd failed the exam, but Viv had reassured her. The computer shutting off like that wasn't a bad thing, on the contrary, it was a good sign. With only a day to go till Cait got the exam results she'd decided to call Dee.

 

"I can't just drop everything and hop on a plane to New York Cait."  
"Why not? Give me one good reason, why not."  
"What will the girls say for a start? I just can't."  
"Yes, you can. Your passports valid right? Come and stay with me. What's keeping you, Dee? Nothing that's what."  
"Oh, thanks. Like I need reminding that I'm surplus to requirements right now Cait. Thanks a bunch for that."  
"You're letting your life pass you by Dee. Don't, grab hold of it and come to New York please Dee. We can hang out and have a laugh, see the sights, do some shopping, see a show, whatever you want to do. Four weeks in New York......."  
"Four weeks, I can't come for four weeks."  
"One week isn't enough Dee. You gonna come or what? You know it's my birthday in two weeks. "  
"Yeah I know it's your birthday on the twenty-third Cait." Dee paused. "I'll think about it, but I'm not coming for four weeks. "  
"Well, you think about it, and we'll talk soon."  
"Before you go Cait can I just say thanks for the wreath you sent, it was beautiful."  
"You're welcome, Dee. I'm gonna go now. Please seriously think about it Dee, and I'll speak to you soon. Ta rah Dee."  
"Ta rah Cait."  
Cait smiled to herself as she tapped the phone against her lip. She'd come she knew she would.


	18. What might have been.

Roz had wanted to go home as soon as she was allowed after the birth of her son. Things didn't happen for her that way, though. With abdominal swelling and pain in her pelvic area, she'd insisted she was perfectly fine to go home. Her Doctor wasn't convinced, and when her temperature soared accompanied by violent bouts of vomiting Roz had known there was no use her trying to argue that she was okay. Dr Carruthers had then conducted a physical pelvic exam on Roz. She'd caught the sharp intake of breath as she'd gently checked Roz's abdomen for tenderness. She knew what she suspected but arranged a blood test for Roz to measure her white blood cell count and confirm what she thought was giving Roz this pain.  
Roz had sulky laid in the hospital bed pulling the covers up further over her sore body. It hadn't been an easy birth. He'd been in the wrong position his shoulders curled against her pelvis, and they had to manually redirect her baby so he could pass down the birth canal easier. They'd fixed her up to an IV drip when her bloods had come back that afternoon. Roz was put on antibiotics for the confirmed case of endometriosis. Dr Carruthers told her she needed complete bed rest for the next couple of days and Roz could have cried with the frustration of it all. She didn't want bed rest she wanted to go home.  
The nameless child lay in the cot next to her, and Roz envied the other new mom's on the ward. This 'overwhelming feeling of love' everyone kept going on about just wasn't happening for Roz. She felt no connection with him. She felt no warmth or bond he was just a baby. She kept telling her mom to put Sal off coming to see her. She didn't want him at the hospital, and to be honest, she didn't think he'd be comfortable coming anyway. She'd found the paternity test secreted away in a draw she shouldn't have been looking in at his house. Finding it had made Roz feel sick to the stomach.  
She'd been discharged from hospital and had taken her baby home the first day of the new month when he was eight days old and still nameless.  
The next day Sal had arrived at Roz's mom's house. He knocked then stood waiting nervously on the porch. His left arm was wrapped around the neck of the largest teddy he could find. The teddy was that big it had sat in the front seat of his car on the way over. He'd tried it in the back seat but driving along all he could see in the rear view was the teddy's plush head with its stupid teddy grin on its face, he had to stop the car to move it. He got so many strange looks from other drivers as he drove over to see Roz Sal half wished he'd left the damn thing where he'd put it in the first place. In his other hand, he held a huge bouquet of flowers, the best and most expensive at the local florists. In the front pocket of his jeans next to his phone was the test.  
Roz's mom answered the door and beckoned him through into the hall. She gave him a tight smile as her sharp eyes darted over Sal. Her eyes came to rest on Sal's face. His expression was deadpan straight. Not even the faint glimmer of a smile played about his lips; only his eyes gave him away. The scared, lost look swam in his eyes as clearly as if he were speaking his emotions out loud. Motioning Sal towards the open living room door she watched him pass her as he struggled with the cumbersome form of the teddy. Roz sat her legs curled underneath her body in an armchair. She wore pyjamas and pulled a towelling robe closer around herself as Sal walked in. She watched him through tired eyes as her mom enthused about the bouquet taking it from him. Leaving them then she'd had trotted off to find a vase.  
Sal gingerly approached the crib and peered in. Almost immediately and without warning the baby began to wail. The bay's closed eyes screwed up even tighter as the child's mouth opened wider and wider letting out the high pitched cry.  
"I think your teddy is scaring him," Roz stated flatly picking her son up and soothing him till his cries subsided. Sal positioned the teddy at the end of the sofa and approached Roz again. His hand gripped tightly around the stems of the bouquet as he edged forward. He was a full foot away from where she sat when the baby's face once again dissolved into a torrent of crying. "Actually Sal, I think it's you." Roz sighed. "I know what you've come for." She stated simply riveting her eyes on his. Sal reached his long fingers into his pocket and pulled out the test. "You'd best do it while his crying," Roz said turning her head away glancing sideways as Sal fumbled with the kit. Sal took the first swab and gently swiped it around the crying child's mouth and sealed it. He passed one to Roz, and she did the same. Sealing that he swiped the last swab around his own mouth and sealing that placed all the samples into the envelope.  
"How long?" Roz asked her lashes sweeping up as her eyes levelled with his.  
"36-72 hours, they email me the results." Sal wrenched his gaze from hers. He focused on his fingers tapping distracted against the box the test had come in.  
"We're done here then," Roz stated flatly laying the child back in his crib before turning towards Sal to show him out. There was nothing more to say. The awkward silence hung between them as Roz showed him back through to the hall.  
"Aren't these gorgeous." her mom gushed coming pasted where Roz stood. She entered the living room with the large bouquet arranged in a vase, but Roz wasn't listening. She opened the front door wide but didn't look at Sal. Her eyes studied with piercing scrutiny the pattern of the hall runner at her feet. When she knew he was out the door, she shut it quickly pressing her forehead against its hardness. Her eyes swam with tears. Quickly she wiped her hand across her eyes before her mom could see. Being a mom wasn't what Roz had thought it would be, she missed her old life. If she could have turned back the clock to a year ago, she would have done it in a flash. If only she'd not responded to Eric ' s flirting then maybe she'd still be with Sal now. She'd fallen into an affair with Eric after the seminar they'd attended together last September. He'd made her feel wanted when Sal hadn't and look where her foolishness had gotten her. The baby wasn't sleeping well, and Roz found his demands on her time exhausting. The love that she should have been feeling just wasn't growing. Instead, she felt resentment towards the child; she felt trapped. She wanted Sal, just Sal. If she had to choose she would have been happy to walk out of the house right then and never go back if it meant she could have Sal back in her life.  
"Sal, gone already?" Her mom asked from around the door jamb. "I was gonna make coffee. " Stepping into the hall she crossed her arms and stared fixedly at her daughter. " Have you talked to Eric yet?"She asked. This question had plagued her for days. She'd skirted around coming right out and asking knowing Roz was finding caring for the baby difficult to adjust to. The time had come, though, to face things full on. Roz shrugged her shoulders.  
"He called yesterday; he wants to come over." Her brow furrowed as her mouth turned down.  
"That's good, isn't it? Her mom said moving towards her daughter. Roz averted her eyes from her mom's penetrating gaze. She shrugged her shoulders again. "Whoever the father is Roz this baby needs a name and soon."  
"I know mom." Roz rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "I wanted to call him after Sal, but he put the kibosh on that."  
"I'm not surprised." Her mom replied. She narrowed her eyes regarding Roz through crinkled slits. "Your hankering too much over something that just isn't there anymore. You blew it with Sal the first time you jumped into bed with Eric. Don't look at me like that! " Her mom warned as Roz's eyes blinked fraying innocence."You know what you did your not innocent in all this. Face up to the situation and move on." She stated bluntly. She knew it sounded harsh, but sometimes you just had to face things full on. Her brow slanted in disapproval as she moved away from Roz back into the living room.  
Roz squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth as the baby's cries had filled the air again.

 

When Sal had got home, he'd found Q's jeep gone from the front of his house. It had been parked there all week ever since the fateful night of the baby's birth when Q's world had come crashing down around him. Sal had turned straight around then and headed over to Q's house. Parking up Sal could see the dejected figure of Q sat on his porch. He snapped the seat belt off and climbing out of the car he headed over to where Q sat.  
"What ya doin'?" He asked sitting his self down on the porch step. Q sat his wrists resting on his knees as his hands hung loosely.  
"I thought I could do it, Sal. I thought I could go in but I can't. I'm thinkin' that I'm gonna go away for a bit dude. Thought I'd visit my parents in Philly for a week or so. I need to get away. Don't get me wrong it's been great staying with you, but I can't hang around your place forever. I know I'm driving you crazy Sal." Sal made to protest, but Q stopped him. "You need your space and so do I. I thought I'd come over and pack some stuff, but now I'm here I can't go in. I can't believe how God damn pathetic I sound right now." His dark eyes looked out across the road beneath thick brows.  
"Do you want me to come in with you dude? We can do this together you and me, yeah? " Q swung his restless gaze at Sal before turning them back to the street again. A group of boys no older than ten walked passed his house. Their exuberant voices drifted up Q's drive to where the men sat. A basketball bounced between them on the sidewalk as the group walked along. The almost metallic sound of the ball hitting the paving ringing in Q's ears.  
"Thanks, Sal, I'd appreciate it, dude." Standing he pulled the peak of his baseball hat down further over his brow casting his eyes into shadow.  
"You been to see Roz and mini Sal?"  
"Yeah, we just did the test. Can you not call the baby mini Sal please?" Sal asked, and Q nodded.  
"Okay then. How are Roz and the little fella?" Sal dug his hands into his pockets.  
"Weird dude, not the baby naturally although I don't think he likes me. He starts bawling if I get too close, only his eyes are shut the whole time, so how'd he know I was there? Roz seems really weird like she just doesn't care. She's got this strange spaced out look on her face like she's there but her mind is somewhere else."  
"She's most probably tired, Sal. When do you get the results."  
"36 -72 hours. I put them in the mail on my home just now." Sal swiped a look at Q's front door. "We gonna do this Bri?"  
"Yeah, here." he handed Sal his keys. "You open up Sal."  
"K" Sal replied as he selected the right key and stepping up to the door he inserted it into the lock.


	19. A stretch of the imagination.

Detective Danny Pelligritti had felt there was something not quite right with this case from the off. The alleged victim had called 911 to report the sexual assault, but from listening to the recording of the call he 'd felt distinctly uneasy. She didn't seem like she wanted to come into the station to make a statement, the call operator had spent a long time trying to persuade the girl to come in before she'd eventually agreed. He'd handled cases like this before and had listened to plenty of 911 calls just like this one. It might have seemed unusual for a man to head up sexual assault cases but Danny was a father of six daughters and seemed to be able to empathise with the female perspective. He supposed it came from living in a household dominated by women. Even before he'd got married and had kids, he and his two sisters had been brought up by his mom and grandmother. Another thing that made Danny good at his job was the fact that he was exceptionally good at reading people too.  
The alleged victim had presented herself at the station later that day. She was assigned a chaperone officer who accompanied her to the Victim Examination Suite. First, they'd photographed the bruising on her wrists and upper arm. The bruised marks of fingers and thumbs clearly visible on the woman's pale skin. Her lip was split, and her right eye was puffed up and swollen around a dark purple bruise. She had a deep scratch mark down one cheek too. They'd taken swabs of these scratches, her mouth as well as more intimate areas. Lastly, they'd taken samples of blood, and urine. Danny didn't hold out much hope about the intimate swabs, though. The woman alleged the attack had happened the day before last and Danny was sure any evidence would be lost by now.  
Sitting down in the small interview room with his female college Detective Moore, Danny had run his commanding gun metal blue eyes over the woman sat in front of him. He watched her scratch her right hand over her left hand's knuckles. Her fingernails were making bright red weals over her pale skin. Detective Moore flicked the tape.  
"This interview is being tape recorded and may be given in evidence if your case goes to trial. We are in interview room one at New York City Police Department Staten Island 120th precinct. The date is July 17th, 2017 and the time is 15.45. I am Detective Daniel Pelligritti. The other officer present is Detective Kate Moore. Please state your full name and date of birth please."  
"Carly Jessica Draper date of birth June 23rd, 1987." Her pale grey eyes darted up quickly assessing Detective Pellegritti before Carly peeled her gaze away from his to concentrate on her hands again.  
'Also present is attending lawyer Francis Ricciardi. Before the start of the interview, I must advise you that you are entitled to free and independent legal advice either in person or by telephone. At the conclusion of the interview, I will give you notice explaining what will happen to the tapes and how your lawyer can get access to them. "Danny gave Carly a tight smile then read her the caution. "Now Ms Draper, Carly. Can I call you Carly?" Danny addressed the question to the top of Carly's head as she didn't look up.  
"For the purpose of the tape, Ms Draper nodded." Added Detective Moore.  
"Do you wanna start from the beginning Carly? In your own words." He shot a warning look at her lawyer then. "Take you time Carly, don't rush. We will go at your pace." Carly stopped scratching at her hand and flicked her eyes up fixing her grey gaze on Danny before she swiftly looked away again.  
"He asked me to meet him Saturday mid - day at Beans and Leaves. It's on Forest Avenue."  
"Yes, I know where Beans and Leaves is. Who Carly? Who asked you to meet them?"  
"My boyfriend Brian."

They'd interviewed the waitress at Beans and Leaves and while Carly went to stay with her sister they'd searched her flat. They'd bagged her laundry, dusted for prints and collected any samples they thought would help with later DNA testing and then had questioned the neighbours. Danny had decided to call on Q in person. Getting no reply he'd left his card and had sort out the neighbours either side of Brian ' s house to question. The elderly spinster on one side had nothing to impart about her neighbour. Only the fact she didn't care for him, his TV show or his cats. His neighbours the other side were more helpful. From them Danny found that Brian was in San Diego until the beginning of the following week, he'd also had an interesting conversation about the previous Friday night. Eileen Harris had recounted being woken in the early hours of the morning by Brian out in the street shouting at a woman in a dark coloured Honda.  
Danny felt he really needed to talk to Brian Quinn to get his side of events. When he'd taken Carly's statement, he'd watched her carefully. She didn't seem to show any emotion as she'd talked about the alleged attack. She was stiff and still. She'd tucked her hands underneath her thighs on the plastic chair her feet placed solidly flat on the floor unmoving. When she'd gone into detail, she had shown some emotion, but her timing was off. Tears were sliding down her cheeks after she'd finished speaking not during. But the thing that unnerved Danny the most were her eyes. Carly avoided direct eye contact almost through the whole statement process. When Danny had pressed her for details he'd watched Carly's pale grey eyes looking up slightly to the left. She didn't know she was doing it, but for Danny, it was a big give away. She wasn't remembering the details of the alleged rape, but imagining the images instead.  
Meeting towards the end of the week with Detective Moore Danny couldn't hold back his concerns. Nothing had shown up at her flat to indicate anyone else had been there apart from Carly and her sister. None of the neighbours had seen a man fitting Mr Quinn's description entering or leaving Carly's apartment block.The swabs had come back inconclusive, the laundry had been washed so no evidence, if there was any in the first place had survived. What forensics did turn up though was tiny samples of skin and blood on Carly's front door. These were being tested, and Danny thought that he wouldn't be at all surprised to find the samples belonged to Carly. If his hunch was right, it seemed Ms Draper ' s injuries had been sustained by a blow to the face from her door, not a fist like she'd told them in her statement. The burning question on Danny's mind was had these injuries been self-inflicted?  
"I don't like it, Moore, I don't like it at all. I can't stand sexual assault, but I can't stand liars either. Her stories got more holes in it than a slice of swiss cheese. "  
Not knowing what time Brian would be back on Monday he'd made sure a squad car patrolled Brian ' s neighbourhood passing his house for any signs of life. Coming into the station the next morning, Danny was pleased to find Brian had been picked up. A squad car had brought him into the station early that morning.  
"Where is he?" Danny asked one of the officers that had brought him in.  
"Interview room one Danny. He's sleeping it off; he's just had water to help sober him up. That's his lawyer over there." He'd indicated a tall bearded guy in a skinny suit sitting waiting in a plastic chair in the station foyer. The seat seemed too small for his body as his long legs stretched out in front of him.  
They'd allowed Q to use the pay phone in the station. He'd called Murr. He didn't elaborate why he was at the station or why he needed a lawyer as soon as possible. He'd detected the slight panicky tone in Murr's sleepy squeaky early morning voice. Then Q had spent the next few minutes dissuading Murr from coming down to the station himself. Danny spoke to the waiting lawyer first. He outlined to him why they needed to talk to his client. Q wasn't under arrest for the alleged sexual assault. Danny made it clear that he expected full co - operation during the statement giving. He made it even clearer he wasn't in the mood for a 'no comment' interview. Danny didn't express his concerns that Carly was lying. Danny watched the lean back of the lawyer enter the interview room to talk to his client as Kate passed him his early morning black coffee.  
"I think after speaking to Mr Quinn you and I will be paying a call on Ms Draper." Kate sipped at her own steaming take - out cup.  
"You think she's lying don't you?" Kate asked her brows arching steeply over her amber brown eyes.  
"I think this whole thing is a malicious act to tarnish the rep of Mr Quinn. We could be charging Ms Draper with wasting police time later today. She still with her sister, Moore?" Danny asked raising his eyebrows.  
"Yeah, Officer Delgado spoke to her on the weekend. "  
"Right then Moore, let's find out Mr Quinn ' s side of the story shall we?" Danny strode off down the corridor with Kate following towards interview room One.  
Danny observed and listened to Brian as he gave his statement. He looked tired; his eyes red-rimmed. He looked slightly green around the gills too. Having sobered up relatively quickly on an empty stomach Q's insides were protesting at their emptiness during most of the interview. Q waved his hands around a lot during the interview, pointing and gesturing to get his point across. His dark eyes alternated from looking directly at Danny's then Detective Moore's eyes. When he recalled the events of the past few weeks that lead up today's interview he looked up and to the right, he was remembering everything. Brian admitted that Carly had previously spent the night at his house on two occasions, but the sex had been consensual. He was adamant he hadn't gone back with Carly to her apartment on the afternoon of July 15th and told Danny all about Lillybeth, the feeling he had of being watched and her car being parked outside his house late at night. Danny decided to suspend the interview there. Excusing himself and Detective Moore he ushered his partner outside.  
"First I want Officers Delgado and Bridge to speak to Ms Gonzalez. Then you and I are going to see Ms Draper. I want to get her reaction when I explain to her that she's reported a class B felony that is punishable by up to twenty-five years imprisonment if Brian were found guilty. I want to know if she thinks that's a fair punishment based on what she's reported. I want her to know without any doubts that her honesty is imperative for this investigation to continue." Danny's gunmetal blue eyes shot a questioning look at Moore.  
"What about Mr Quinn? " She asked.  
"He's free to go for now. Obviously, if my suspicions are confirmed, he may be the one pressing charges against Ms Draper. Mr Quinn would be perfectly within his rights to pursue a class A misdemeanour against her. The least she could expect is a year in jail and a $1000 fine. What I really wanna know is why? What's going on in her head to make her behave this way? I don't think the spurred girlfriend is the full story with Ms Draper. Come on Moore let's go tell our man he can go."  
Q stood in the foyer and watched the two Detectives walk away from him out through the swing doors of the station. How could his judgement have been so bad? He screwed his hands into tight fists as the noise of the station washed over him, and the lawyer's voice went straight over his head. A small part of him felt sorry for Carly that she'd had to resort to spinning such a web of lies. Mostly he was mad, mad as hell and he knew he wasn't a pleasant person to be around when he was feeling that way. He was just wondering what to do when the familiar figure of Murr came swinging through the station's doors.  
"Jesus Q, you look like shit, man. What the hell ' s happened? "  
"Thanks, Murr that makes me feel so much better. I thought I told you not to come down here."  
"Like I'm gonna listen to a jerk like you. Of cause, I'm gonna come down here when my friend phones to say he's down the local precinct and he needs a lawyer. I'd do it for you and Joe."  
"What about Sal?" Q asked his dark eyes widening.  
"Meh, fuck him I'd let Sal rot." Murr grinned a gleam of deviltry sparkling in his brown eyes.  
"I'll tell him you said that."  
"Go ahead Q; I know without a shadow of a doubt he'd leave me to rot too."  
" No, he wouldn't," Q thought for a moment."Okay, maybe he'd let you think he was leaving you to rot, but he wouldn't really."  
"Well, I don't want to test your theory out anytime soon thanks Q." Murr's eyes widened at the gurgling noise that emitted from Q right at that moment. "Oh my God, was that you?" He asked. Q stomach was loudly protesting his hunger.  
"I haven't eaten since the in-flight meal from San Diego yesterday Murr. I need food; I need comfort food..."  
"You need pizza."  
"I need pizza. A&S is closest. "  
"Well, let's go then, and you can tell me all about it."


	20. Your broken little heart.

"she's not here," Ruby said holding onto the handle of the door of her apartment. "She said she'd got a call from you to come down the station. Something about you wanting to go over her statement with her."  
"What time was this Ruby?" Danny asked assessing Ruby with his blue eyes.  
" About an hour ago," Ruby replied her indigo blue eyes were inspecting Danny's face.  
"How did she seem?"  
" What do you mean how did she seem?"She asked as her brows knitting over her eyes.  
" Did she seem normal Ruby? Was she the usual Carly or did she seem different?" Ruby thought about the question for a moment. Ever since the cops had brought her around to her apartment over a week ago, she'd felt uneasy about the whole situation. She was finding it all a bit hard to get her head around. Carly had been hard to talk to from the beginning. She'd spent the days in bed sleeping and then prowling around Ruby's apartment during the night. Carly got angry when Ruby had asked about her being Brian's girlfriend. Ruby had wondered why Carly had kept their relationship so quiet. Carly had counted Ruby's questions saying that it wasn't her idea to kept things under wraps for a while. It was all TruTV's idea; they were the one's who wanted to keep their relationship under wraps she said. They were fearful of fan reaction and wanted to protect the image of their show. Ruby's instinct was telling her that this sounded like bullshit. Ruby had watched her sister's behaviour. She seemed fragile more so after Officer Delgado had checked on her at the weekend. Ruby didn't want to push the subject of the assault afraid of tipping Carly over the edge. Her confused mind just couldn't think of Q behaving this way towards a woman. As the weekend moved to the side to make way for the new week, Ruby was beginning to feel slightly scared of Carly and spent time trying to placate her as much as possible. She wanted to believe Carly, but her words just didn't ring true. Ruby, knew her sister better than anyone. She remembered Carly's twenty-first birthday party when Trey Cuttler had tried his luck with Carly on their parent's patio. Ruby had seen Trey trying to force himself on her sister. Back then she'd watched shocked as Carly had lifted her leg and driven the length of her shin into Trey's groin using her hip to add more power to the kick. Sixteen-year-old Ruby had watched Carly follow that up with a palm strike to Trey's chin, nose and jaw with as much force as Carly could muster. If Carly could do that to Trey who was six foot weighed about two hundred and eighty pounds then realistically she shouldn't have had too much trouble disabling Brian, if what she said was true, which Ruby was beginning to doubt more and more.   
"This morning she seemed very withdrawn and anxious. I dunno it's difficult to explain." Ruby leant against the door frame trying to work out where all these questions were leading.  
"Not her usual self then Ruby?"  
' No. When I got up this morning, she was standing staring out the big window down into the street. She was muttering to herself under her breath, and she looked like she'd gotten dressed in the dark."  
"Did you catch anything she said, Ruby? "Danny was trying his damnedest not to alarm Ruby now." However trivial it might have sounded this morning, it would really help Ruby; we need to find your sister."  
" She was talking about a car parked in the street. I'd never noticed it before, but Carly kept muttering that it had been there for the past four days and they were watching her. Before she left to see you, I heard her yell out 'I know who you are, and what you want'. She muttered something about a conspiracy, and she wasn't gonna keep quite. Then she left."  
"Didn't you think this behaviour was unusual Ruby?" Danny asked narrowing his eyes.  
"I've seen her get this way before, with her ex Scott. It always used to blow over as quickly as it flared up."  
"What was she wearing Ruby?" Detective Moore asked.  
"I think she still had her PJ bottoms on, with an oversized jumper and chunky boots."  
"Thanks for that Ruby. If she comes back here can you let us know straight away."  
"She's lying isn't she?" Ruby asked folding her arms resolutely across her chest as she fixed her dark blue eyes on Danny.  
"That's what we intend to find out Ruby, Thanks for your time." Danny and Moore left Ruby then and headed out the apartment block towards their car.  
"Put out an attempt to locate call for Carly Draper Kate. I'm gonna drive us over to Carly's apartment."

 

Murr had sat and watched Q devour most of the large pizza himself. He wasn't feeling in the mood for pizza and had made slow work of the one slice he'd accepted. Q washed down the last piece of pizza with a drink of his peach Snapple just as his phone lit up an incoming call.  
"I think it's her." Q said his eyes raked over the number with disdain he didn't make a move to pick up his phone.  
"Are you serious? She accuses you of sexual assault and then calls you up? What kind of woman does that?" Murr asked levelling a glowering look at Q. His phone started again. "Maybe you should answer it Q. Maybe she's retracted, and dropped it all. "  
"Yeah, and maybe her calling me is just another one of her sick games." Q rejected the call and sat back. The wooden seat of the chair was making his back feel uncomfortable. What he needed right now was a shower. He felt grubby and thought he detected the slight whiff of stale sweat about himself.   
"Call me a cab would you Murr. I'm gonna head off home; I need a shower."  
"Well, I didn't like to say anything man, but you smell rank. Listen I'll come with you, to yours I haven't been over in ages."   
"You don't need to come home with me Murr; I don't need babysitting. I can handle this perfectly fine without your help." Q stood abruptly pushing his chair roughly back. It's legs scraping across the tiled floor the noise seemed deafening in the almost empty pizza parlour. He snatched his phone up angrily and rammed it into his pocket then headed towards the door. After all that had happened that morning, he didn't need Murr fussing all over him.   
"Q, .man wait up," Murr called trotting out of the door after him. " Joe wants me to stay with you, just until he's made some calls and can come over."  
"Calls? What calls?"Q asked his dark glare travelling over Murr's face.  
"Damage limitation Q. You don't think the fact that you were brought into the station by the cops this morning is gonna go unnoticed do you? There's bound to be someone out there right now as we speak commenting on it or tweeting it. Someone's gotta put a lid on it before it get's outta hand. "  
"I never even gave that a thought." Q dragged his fingers through his hair. "Oh man, this is so fucked up. Just call a cab Murr and get me home dude, pronto."  
As they waited for the cab Q's phone rang again, and he let it ring out. Murr turned a stern face towards Q as the taxi pulled into view.  
"Don't keep ignoring her." He held his hand out. "Give."  
"I'm not giving you my god damn phone, Murr."  
"Yes, you are. 'Cos the next time she calls, I'm gonna answer the damn thing and speak to the wacko bitch, now give."   
"When did you get all assertive? " Q questioned handing over his phone.  
"Since one of my best friends came within a gnats nuts of being arrested on a sexual assault charge that's when." Quickly they bungled themselves into the waiting cab. Q gave the driver his address as Murr turned to Q.  
"Unlock your phone Q; she's left you a voice mail."  
"I don't wanna hear anything she has to say."  
"Shut up and unlock the phone." Q snatched the phone out of Murr's hand then pasted it back having unlocked it. "I'm putting it on speaker." Q was about to protest but stopped as the message began.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry,...." Carly's voice croaked between sniffles and sobs. " I only wanted you to love me, Brian. I wanted you to love me as much as I love you. I know now you don't love me, and it breaks my heart Brain. What's the point, Brian? Life's not worth living if I can't be with you. Goodbye, Brian. Goodbye forever." Their blood ran cold as they faced each other in the back of the cab, the silence stretched between them as they both tried to comprehend the message.  
"Shit! Shit, shit, fuckin' shitty, shit!" Q exclaimed as the cab pulled up in front of his house.

 

Q followed Sal through his front door into his hall. No cats came bounding out to meet him. All three were next door with Eileen. Q felt guilty about the fact he'd not seen them for over a week. He hoped they missed him as much as he did them. He missed not being able to just crash out on the sofa surrounded by their soft, warm, comforting bodies. Sometimes he preferred cats over a woman, after all, they were a lot less bother in the long run. The small hall table lay shattered its legs scattered down the short corridor towards the kitchen door; the top lay broke in half against the door. Splinters of wood littered the floor where the table top had smashed against the door the indentation in the wooden door visible. He hadn't let anybody come over to tidy up. Staying at Sal's he'd known Sal had been itching to get someone over and clean the place up, but Q was being obstinate and had vehemently refused to let anyone come over. He'd taken an agitated call from his mom, and it had taken all of his powers of persuasion to dissuade her from getting his dad to drive her over. Over the days he spent at Sal's he'd half convinced himself it hadn't actually happened, but now Q was here in his house Q knew he couldn't hide from it. Taking a deep breathe Q stepped onto the first step of the stairs, then quick as a flash dashed up the rest of the flight and headed straight for his bedroom with Sal following close behind.   
Once they were both in his bedroom Q, shut the door and busied himself getting his spare case out of the closet. Tossing the thing onto the bed Q opened a draw and began chucking his clothes in randomly.  
"Dude, you can't just chuck it in. It'll get creased to fuck."  
" I don't give a fuck Sal, just get it in. Are you gonna help or are you just gonna stand there and criticise my packing?" Sal began to pass Q his t-shirts trying his utmost best not to storm out in exasperation. Once the case was full to bursting Q sat on it while Sal zipped it up. Sal stood up his gaze rooted to the shut bedroom door. Q tracked Sal's gaze to the bedroom door as he picked up his rucksack.  
"Do you want me to......." Sal began nodding in the direction of the door.   
"No." Q replied sharply. He checked himself knowing that had come out too harsh sounding. "Sorry Sal, no. I gotta do it myself.." Q opened the bedroom door his eyes coming to rest immediately on the shut bathroom door.   
Q felt himself sucked back to the day a week ago when he and Murr had stood in this same position on his landing. They'd found his front door unlocked and had entered the house cautiously together. They'd followed the scattered trail of clothes up Q's stairs. A pair of fur lined chunky boots lay on their sides on the bottom step, further up a pair of women's white PJ bottoms covered in red hearts lay across three steps. At the top of the stairs, a grey oversized jumper lay in a heap. Q had tried the door handle of the bathroom to find it locked. Taking divisive action Q had taken two deep breaths then he'd kicked the sole of his foot at the weakest point, the doorknob. He'd felt the door bend inward a bit and had kicked it again in the same spot before the frame splintered and he could get into the bathroom.

Q felt Sal's hand on his shoulder as he pushed the bathroom door open. He could feel his heart beating faster the sound filling his ears. He felt sick, and his whole body tensed as he felt the clamminess wash over him. He still saw Carly laying in the overflowing crimson water of his bath her eyes closed; face drained of colour the bloodied craft knife laying on the bathroom floor.  
" Murr call 911." Q had yelled over his shoulder as he'd dashed into his bathroom. He'd kicked the craft knife across the floor and had hooked his arms underneath Carly's armpits and heaved her wet, limp form out of the bath. They'd fell together a wet, sodden mess onto the floor as Q stretched his arm out reaching for the towels off the rail. His stomach churned as he saw the deep vertical cuts on Carly's arms. He'd wrapped the towels around her wrists to staunch the flow of the gushing blood. Q had flicked his fingers against Carly's face close to her eye.   
"Oh no, you don't Carly come on. Hey, hey you don't get to do this in my bathroom, you don't get to die on my bathroom floor, CARLY, CARLY!" He noticed her face twitch as Carly tried to move her head away. "That's a girl Carly, come on it's me, Carly, it's Brian. Stay with me Carly." Q could hear the wailing sirens getting closer, and soon his bathroom as a scene of frantic activity as the paramedics took care of Carly and he was squeezed out of the way. He watched them carry her down the stairs and had ventured his eyes around the door frame into the bathroom. The bath water and soaked towels swam before his eyes as he rushed to the toilet and lost the contents of his stomach down the bowl.   
Joe had come into the bathroom then, and Q had felt his soothing hands on his back as he'd retched again and again.   
"She's not dead is she?" He'd asked his voice echoing around the toilet bowl.  
"No, she's not dead Q.They've taken her to the University Hospital. She'll get the help she needs there."


	21. So confused.

"I can't go in Sal; I just can't face it." Q pushed the rucksack into Sal's reluctant hands. "Do it for me, Sal; I'm gonna go wait outside." Q watched Sal's face blanch as his fingers gripped hold of the rucksack. He avoided eye contact with Sal as he picked up his case and headed downstairs. He could feel Sal's eyes burning into his back as he went, but he didn't look back. Sal pushed the door of the bathroom slowly open. He kept his eyes averted from the bloodied towels still laying on the floor. Sal hurriedly swooped up anything from the bathroom he thought Q might need into the rucksack. There was enough room to cram in some fresh towels from the airing cupboard into the top as Sal pulled the drawstring secure and headed out. He found Q sat on his porch steps again.  
"I've been thinking dude." Q said turning his head to squint up at Sal. His baseball cap was now perched the wrong way round on his head, the back band keeping his hair out of his eyes. The intense afternoon sunlight shone right in his eyes, and he shielded them with his right hand as he looked up at Sal. "Thanks for today dude. I couldn't have done it without you here, Sal. I've decided I'm gonna hang around a bit longer, at least until you get the paternity test results back. You've been there for me today buddy and I really appreciate it." He stood then. "You don't mind me hanging at yours a bit longer do you?" Sal hadn't minded when Murr and Joe had turned up on his doorstep a week ago with a shell-shocked Q in tow and his case of dirty clothes. Sal had listened stunned as Murr then Joe had told him what had happened at Q's. He'd been worried about Q after the guys had left. Scared that his friend would withdraw into himself he'd watched him like a hawk. Q had spent the best part of three days holed up in Sal's spare room. He'd slouched around Sal's house in just his robe and the same pair of boxers for three days. He'd only ventured as far as the kitchen and bathroom a blank haunted look to his eyes. On the fourth day, Detective Pellegritti had called to talk to Q. The cops had spoken to him on the day, but Danny called over to give them the news that Carly had been transferred to Bellevue where she would get a psych assessment and then treatment. He'd urged Q to see a trauma counsellor, but Q had told Danny that he was already booked in for a session with his usual therapist. It was the first Sal had heard of it. Sal had then persuaded Q to wash some clothes, so he at least had something clean to wear when he saw his therapist. After the session Q had seemed better not a hundred percent, but better.. He was even bemoaning the fact he needed more of his clothes washing, that he missed his cats and Sal's cleaning rituals were driving him insane.  
Sal had headed off to his car with Q's packed rucksack. He'd driven home leaving Q to go and spend some time with his cats at Eileen ' s before he returned to Sal's.  
Later that evening after take- out, a DVD and beer they lay sprawled out on Sal's living room floor. Cushions supported their heads as Q turned to look at Sal's bearded jawline out of the corner of his eye.  
"I've decided two things, Sal. First, I'm a gonna do a refurb in the bathroom. "Q said dragging his dark eyes away from studying Sal.  
"What does that mean?" Sal asked blinking at the ceiling.  
"I'm ripping out the bath and just having the shower. When I get back from Philly, I'm gonna make some calls get some quotes."  
"And second?"  
"I've decided to become celibate." Q's eyes flashed with determination.  
"Fuck off! " Sal exclaimed. "Brian Quinn and no sexual relations do not go into the same sentence together."  
"Well, now they do. I'm serious dude. No sex, no complications."  
"So you're saying if a drop dead gorgeous woman in a, in a, .....Wonder Woman outfit came through that door and offered herself to you on a plate; you'd say thanks, but no thanks."  
"Yeah."Q answered his eyes still roaming over the ceiling.  
"Fuck off, just fuck the hell off! What if Cait walked through that door right now, dressed as Wonder Woman you would wouldn't you? "  
"No, I no, no." Q rubbed his hands over his eyes. "Try a Harley Quinn costume instead." he sighed.  
"You've seen her in a Harley Quinn costume? When? "  
"After the last 02 show in London. She wore a pair if tight blue and red hot pants." Q's eyes lost Sal's ceiling as he imagined Cait in the Harley Quinn costume. He remembered the way she was the last time they'd been together at the Ritz, the image of her locked in his memory like a bug in a piece of amber. Q had memorised every curve of her body from that night. The feel of her soft skin and every freckle that peppered across her nose memorised. He knew how every inch of her body reacted to his kiss or his touch."You're a sneaky bastard bringing her into it Sal. I've blown it with her anyway. I was gonna call her after Comic Con, but what with all this Carly shit, it just got away from me. I bought her a present at Comic Con, but I can't see me getting it to her now. I've left it too long she'll just think I'm a right dick. No Sal I'm gonna be celibate." Q said resolutely dismissing the image of Cait from his memory.  
"So, your gonna stick to porn and knocking one out yourself?" Rolling onto his side Sal propped his head up on one hand and regarded Q bright eyed. "Bullshit Brian. You turning celibate is as likely as my mom winning the power ball. "  
"Have you no faith in my powers of abstention Sal?" Q queried his gaze once again unwavering on the ceiling.  
"Nope."  
"What about you? We could turn celibate together."  
"Dude, " Sal scoffed. "I'm there already."  
"You mean you and Roz haven't you know.....not at all?" Q turned a sceptical gaze on Sal.  
"Nope. Roz and I haven't had sex since my birthday. "  
"I thought you and her were working things out."  
"We decided early on to take it slow, but it's not the same. What we had isn't there anymore not for me anyway. Roz and I are good friend's, and if the test comes back positive then I'll be there for the kid, but I don't want a relationship with her."  
"So, you're not with Roz, you haven't had a proper date in like forever, so who are you waiting for? Alyssa Milano ain't gonna turn up on your doorstep to do your dusting and clean your windows ya know, and JLO isn't gonna come over and wash your dirty boxers either. " Q hauled himself up from the floor. Turning around he rested his dark eyes on Sal. " You haven't been with a woman since-since Dee have you?"Sal instantly clapped his hands over his eyes. In moments of weakness, his mind would often wander to Dee. The way her dark brown hair framed her face, the twinkle in her intense brown eyes and her inviting smile.  
"Thanks for that Bri.Thanks for pointing out that my life sucks and it's totally fucked up right now, and I'm a complete dick." Sal dragged his hands from his eyes as he anchored his attention on a crack in his ceiling.  
" Hey, maybe I should call Cait after all, she could help fix you up with Dee again."  
"That's as likely to happen as your mom and my mom winning the power ball together and going on a Thelma and Louise road trip with Brad Pitt," Sal called after Q as he left the room to take a leak.

 

Roz thought there couldn't be many other new mom's fresh out of the hospital with a nine-day-old baby that took two paternity tests by two different men on the same day. She'd decided to call Eric after Sal had left. Her mom had made it quite clear that if she didn't do it soon, she would do it herself. Eric had sat on the sofa next to the giant teddy that Sal had brought.  
"You know this is just a formality don't you Roz?" His jet black eyes probed her icy blue ones as he gazed at her from where he sat. He'd done the test, the envelope laying next to him on the sofa. "You know as well as I do he's my son." Roz's expression turned stolid as she cast her eyes down. Running his hands through his black shoulder length hair, he eyed the teddy next to him. "Who bought the ugly teddy? " He asked.  
"It's not ugly." Roz shot quickly defending Sal's present. Unfurling his body from the sofa he passed Roz the present he'd been nursing on his knee since he'd sat down. Roz ripped the paper off the soft package. Gazing down, Roz ran her hands over the soft pale checked pattern of the alpaca wool blanket. Her fingers played over the embodied lettering.She'd already let slip to Eric on the phone that she hadn't named her son yet.  
"Ethan? "  
"Yeah, Ethan Jack Ayers."  
"Who's he named after?"  
"No one Roz. It's his name, just his, no one else's. This is for you." Eric added passing over another present. Roz reached over to take the handle of the gift bag from him. Her eyes focused on his for a second before they flicked to glance into the bag. Sitting down Roz drew out the large wicker hamper. It had a varied selection of Philosophy bath products in it and a bottle of her favourite fragrance by Philosophy Live Joyously.  
"I thought you needed a bit of pampering I know it's your favourite Roz." Eric enjoyed seeing the look of delight on Roz's face from his gift."Can I hold him?" Eric ventured boldly standing and moving over to the crib. Without waiting for a reply, he gently scooped the baby into his arms. Cradling him in the crook of one arm Eric lightly brush his fingers over the silky peach soft skin of his cheek. "I know I've treated you poorly Roz. Ditching you in January was the worst mistake I've ever made. I can't excuse what I did Roz; things seemed to be moving too fast too soon back then, I regretted it almost immediately. Then I heard you were back with the funny guy and I thought I'd blown it. " Roz regarded Eric her icy blue eyes darting over his face as he gazed down at his son.  
"He was there for me when you weren't Eric. You left me to cope on my own." Her eyes turned angry, and she couldn't disguise the hurt in her voice.  
"And for that, I'm truly sorry Roz. Are you still together?" Eric asked placing the baby back in his crib. He gave his son one last lingering gaze before he sat back down.  
"We're taking it slow. " Stated Roz, the lie tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop the words.  
"So, he's perfectly happy about the situation is he Roz? Because I'm not." Eric stood then his jet black eyes dipped to her. "If you wanna life with him then go ahead, but not with my son you won't. I will see you both in court before I'd let you and him bring up my son. I'd seek full custody of my child Roz weather you liked it or not. I will not stand by and watch Mr fall down laughing bring up my son." Eric stood in front of Roz. He placed his large hands on the arms of the chair and leant down to Roz. She pushed herself back into the soft cushions squirming at his intent black eyes raked over hers. "Works a bit hectic at the moment Roz. Middle of next week I'm gonna be out of town for a fortnight with work. I'll be back on 24th. "  
"What's that got to do with me? " Roz asked turning away from Eric ' s intent glare to focus on her sleeping son.  
"I love you, Roz. I want us to be a proper family you, me and Ethan. You need to choose. Life with our son and me, or a life with him without your child." She pried her blazing eyes from her son to scan over Eric as he straightened back up. He left then leaving Roz sitting in the arm chair chewing on her thumbnail deep in thought.  
"You're my daughter Rosalyn, and I love you, but you're a silly girl." Her mom said. She passed Roz a tall glass of juice as her eyes perused over the wicker hamper on the floor by Roz's feet. Roz blinked her blue eyes at her mom, the familiar fraying innocence expression on her face. "You let Sal come over here with that paternity test knowing full well the baby wasn't his, didn't you? How long have you known? Since you got pregnant?" She'd seen the tiny features of the baby echoed in Eric as soon as she'd laid her eyes on him stood on her porch.  
"I swear to God mom I didn't know till after Ethan was born."  
"Ethen? "  
"Yeah, Ethan Jack. Eric ' s choice."  
"I like it. It suits him. "  
"Mom, listen. I couldn't just tell Sal that Ethan wasn't his, he needs to find out from a real lab, so there're no doubts in his mind. Also, I thought Eric wasn't interested in the baby. I stupidly thought that Sal and I could make this work, but it's all such a mess, I don't know what to do?"

 

Q sat on the bottom few steps of Sal's stairs. His dark brown eyes glanced gravely at the shut living room door. He rested his elbows on his thighs his laced fingers dangled between his legs. His eyes were quickly snapped from studying his fingers by the gentle click of the living room door opening then shutting again. Q swung his gaze at Roz through the stair bannisters. His eyes followed her towards the front door. She glanced at him briefly, and he detected a slight weak smile as she closed the front door behind herself. He waited. Every minute that ticked by made Q more and more anxious. Still, there was no sign of Sal, and this made his interlinked fingers grip tighter on each other. Q peered at the door expecting it to open. After five minutes he got sick of waiting. Standing he covered the distance from the bottom of the stairs to the living room door in two strides. Q clicked the door open then gingerly pushed it further open. His hand gripped the doorknob as he peered around the edge of the door at Sal.  
"You may as well pack your stuff and head over to your parents in Philly Bri. No point in hanging around here now dude." Sal said somberly turning his head to where Q's face hovered just around the door frame. Pushing the door, wider Q took a tentative step forward. Sal sat on the edge of his sofa. He was wringing his hands together over and over in a soothing repeatable way. Realising Q was watching his every move Sal stopped. He clapped his hands tightly together palm against palm, fingers against matching fingers.  
"I thought I was gonna hang around till after the test came back."  
"No need." Sal shrugged tapping his two index fingers against his lips. "The test is just a formality; I'm not the kid's dad."  
"Did Roz tell you that? How does she know?"  
"Oh, she knows Bri, she knew as soon as she saw him he was this other guys kid."  
"And she let you go through all that fuckin' shit with the test knowing this? Why? I thought Roz was a better person than that; it's just downright deceitful. Bitch!"  
" She's had a lot to cope with over the past year, don't be too hard on her."  
"Oh, your too fuckin' soft Sal. You shouldn't be defending her, you should be angry at her, you should be spitting blood angry at her right now." Sal stood then as he turned his pleading green eyes to where Q stood in the doorway.  
"Leave it Bri; it's done. Time to move on."  
"What? You can't just brush something like away, like it's just broken china and dump it in the trash? How do you feel? Like shit?"  
"I don't know how I feel, but it's okay, I'm okay. "  
"I'm gonna stay."  
"No, your gonna go to your parents as you planned, nothing is gonna change. I'm gonna hang with some friends I've neglected, binge watch some box sets, go to bed later, stay in bed longer and see my family. I'll most probably take Madison and Leah somewhere. I'll be okay, and you'll be okay too."  
"Are you sure you're okay?"  
"Sure Bri. Remember back by the 25th though."  
"Oh yes, punish Murr day." He rubbed his hands together his eyes glinting with glee. "Something to look forward to."  
"C'mon I'll help you pack." Sal scanned his taut gaze around the room. His veiled green eyes came to rest on Q's feet as he tried to hide the despondency in their depths.  
"Dude," Q said simply holding his arms out. Sal flicked his gaze up into Q's beaming face. They hugged clapping each other across the shoulders. But Q didn't see Sal's watery green eyes blink bleakly with hopelessness.


	22. Really here.

Locking her front door, Cait skipped down the five steps onto the short path and swinging the metal gate towards herself she dashed across the pavement to the waiting Chevrolet. Slipping into the front passenger seat next to Issac she quickly shut the door and reached for the seat belt.  
"Thanks for offering to drive me over to pick Dee up Issac. You've saved Dee a mountain of stress getting her luggage and two cats into a cab on her own." Cait's glance flicked over Issac's profile as he manoeuvred into the road.  
"You owe me Cait. Big time."Issac replied shooting Cait a quick glance out the corner of his eye.  
"I'll get you a drink in at the weekend Issac promise."  
"Now Cait, a couple of drinks was my payment for helping you bring that furniture you bought back to your apartment from the Thrift shop. Picking your friend up I think deserves something a bit more than a drink as payment. Have dinner with me Cait." His eyes sloped down at the corners in a pleading way like a chastised pup.  
Cait stuffed her hands between her thighs and silently cursed to herself. She'd walked straight into that one. Viv had already forewarned her that Issac was interested in taking her out. He'd introduced himself properly the day the NCLEX exam results had come through. Viv and Wes were at work when Cait had found the email in her inbox. She'd been afraid to open the email because she'd convinced herself she'd failed the test. Wandering over to the window that gave a view of the street she'd absently studied the tree on the sidewalk as a gentle summer breeze rippled through the lush green leaves. Taking the plunge Cait had returned her concentration to her emails. Focusing on the phone screen, she'd opened it. Relief had rushed through her body; a smile spread across her face, she'd passed. Cait had done a little victory dance in front of the window laughing to herself in satisfaction relief had ebbed through her whole body. That evening Cait had sat on the patio with Viv and Wes after work sharing a bottle of wine.  
"Oh Cait, I hope you don't mind, but Issac ' s gonna come up when he get's off shift honey." Viv had shot her a sneaky glance before she lowered her lids. She knew Issac was taken with Cait, and she hadn't the heart to put him off. They'd been on a break together when Cait had texted Viv about passing the exam, and he'd practically invited himself along. He'd promised to bring a bottle of wine though which had helped Viv agree to him joining them on the patio. The four of them had sat talking and laughing long into the night as the warm day turned into a humid evening. Which in turn transformed into an oppressively hot night. She'd felt Issac's eyes on her like a caress running over her body most of the evening. Before they'd all turned in, he'd offered his services to Cait in any way he could.  
"How would you be fixed to help me with some thrift shop purchases?" She'd asked boldly.  
"Bring it on English Cait." He'd smiled as his eyes continued their visual exploration of her body. Turning he'd walked down his steps to his basement apartment. So over the next two weeks, Cait had enlisted his help not just picking up and loading her purchases into his minivan but in also helping her carry them into the apartment.  
"Well, what do you say Cait?" Issac pushed, his brow arched in question.  
"Can I, as you would say 'take a rain check' on the dinner invite, Issac? At least till after Dee's gone home anyway? It seems a bit rude to invite her over then ditch her to go out with you."  
" I hear where you're coming from Cait. How longs your friend here for again? "Issac asked his gaze glued now to the traffic in front of him.  
"I managed to persuade her to come over for three weeks," Cait said staring out the window. She'd had a bit of help persuading Dee to come over. She'd called Emma up almost as soon as she'd ended the call she'd made to Dee in Cornwall. Cait knew that Dee would have thought up an endless list of reasons why she couldn't come see her in New York. So Cait had spoken to first Emma then Lorraine to get their help in persuading Dee that a holiday in New York would be good for her. It had worked, and Cait couldn't help feeling slightly smug that they'd worn Dee down till she'd agreed to a three-week holiday with her.  
"Let's arrange a time and date for after then Cait. What'd ya say?" Cait sighed. Issac was a nice guy, but she just wasn't feeling it. She'd not been in New York for long and didn't want to get into a relationship too soon and regret it. Issac it seemed wasn't going to give up easily.  
"Yeah sure Issac. Although I could be working by the end of September so it could all depend on my work rota."  
" Viv said you were waiting on references from the UK". Issac said swinging his attention back to the traffic around him as the lights changed.  
"Yeah, Viv says the job will be advertised internally first this week, then next week to off-site applicants. I emailed the personal department at the Manchester Royal Infirmary for a reference as well as the Agency I did temp work for. I should hear back from them this week. Do you mind if I put the radio on Issac?" Cait asked her eyes assessing Issac's reaction.  
"Sure, go for it." He replied, but Cait had caught the slight trace of disapproval in his shoulder shrug. Cait had scanned around a minute or two before settling on WAXQ. Filling the car with music drowned out any chance of any more conversation as Cait sang her way through different tracks. She'd seen the cringe on Issac ' s face and knew he didn't care for her radio station choice. 

Dee was glad she'd got through passport control without any hassle. She'd wound herself up into a little frenzy about the cat's passports. She'd passed through into France fine but that was Europe, North America was something different. A whole load of bad scenarios had flashed through her head. The worst being they refused her entry and sent her home. She was lucky, and the woman on passport control turned out to be a cat lover. She'd had her e-passport scanned with no problem and thankfully both Jimmy and Chad were being super cute. It seemed to Dee that they could turn the cuteness on when the situation needed it, almost like they knew. The woman on passport controls luminous green eyes had practically melted at the sight of their large round faces pushed against the bars on the front of each of their carriers. They'd blinked their yellow eyes adoringly and had even raised a paw each which had delighted her. She'd scanned their chips with no problems. Cooing at them that she hoped they enjoyed living in New York as Dee headed towards the carousel to pick up her luggage. Immigration, on the other hand, had terrified Dee. She'd watched as a guy two in front was escorted away, and Dee's insides twisted with nervousness. The man on the immigration desk had eyed Dee with no expression; he didn't even crack a smile at the cats, just stamped her through without a word. She'd paid the $6 for a trolly; her case stacked on top of Cait's larger one.The two cats in their carriers were perched on top plus Dee's hand luggage hanging from the trolly handle. Pushing the thing with everything piled on it though was another matter. It seemed to Dee that she'd picked the only trolly in Newark Airport with a wonky wheel, it kept wanting to via to the left. Other passengers were having no trouble with their trollies, but Dee was struggling to manoeuvre the thing without losing everything in a heap on the floor. She didn't think Jimmy and Chad would be too happy; she'd got them this far without any major mishap. Dee didn't want to fail now; that would be so disappointing. Next Dee had to go through the preclearanxe. All the baggage, Jimmy and Chad and her shoes had gone through the scanner this time. Of cause the cats had set the sniffer dogs off. So they'd made her remove each cat from its carrier one at a time while the sniffer dogs had a good sniff of the inside of the carriers and then they'd been checked by hand too. Reloading the trolly Dee had headed for the elevators. Cait had messaged her that she was waiting for her curbside, which was a relief. Dee fought with the trolly on her way out through the airport. Stepping out into daylight Dee scanned her eyes left then right as Cait pushed her back away from the concrete pillar she'd been leaning against. Cait smiled as Dee's fraught expression disappeared replaced by a smile of relief. They took a couple of steps towards each other before they fell into a tight hug.  
"Happy Birthday babe. "  
"I'm so glad you decided to come over Dee," Cait said into Dee's ear.  
"I'm not daft ya know." Dee smiled pulling out of their embrace and regarding Cait boldly. Both Emma and Lorraine had been way too enthusiastic about her taking a holiday to see Cait. The pair of them seemed to be almost falling over themselves to persuade her to come over. Emma had sat with her feet up in her lounge. Valentino flaked out panting in his favourite cool spot in the heat of the afternoon as Emma, twenty-four weeks pregnant had ticked off a list on her fingers of all the reasons why she should come and see Cait. Back home Lorraine had driven Dee to the storage unit where Cait's stuff was in storage. They'd made a fair few trips back and forth from the unit to the cargo carriers together after Dee had spoken to Cait. Every time Lorraine had said the same things as Emma almost word for word. Dee was fairly sure Cait had put them both up to it. It had worked, though. When Dee had mentioned the trip to Kristen and Kerry, they'd urged her to go. She'd thought they'd want her to hang around and help them move their stuff out. They didn't seem concerned at all that the trip would mean she'd be away when they moved out and wouldn't be able to help.  
"Honestly mum, "Kristen had said. "We'll be okay. Everything's under control. Sophie ' s brother has got a van, and he's gonna bring her over and help load up my stuff."  
"Yeah, and Tom and Hannah are driving over the Saturday before schools begins again. The three of use are gonna load my stuff into Tom's car. You'll only be in the way, mum."  
"Well, thanks very much, that's made me feel even more of a spare part than I already feel. " Dee had sighed. They'd helped to make her mind up, though, so Dee had called Cait telling her that she'd come over for her birthday.  
"What does that mean?" Cait asked as her lashes swept up and she blinked at Dee.  
"I know you had a hand in getting Emma and Lorraine to work on me about this trip."  
"Ah. Yeah, I might have had some input in that department sorry Dee." She winked. "We're parked over there." Cait smiled trying to steer the trolly in the right direction. "Jesus, Dee this trolleys crap!"  
"Oh, I know that Cait. The one trolly in the whole airport with a wankie wheel and I pick it." Dee gripped hold of the other side of the trolly, and together they manoeuvred it towards where Issac was parked. Thankfully they managed not crash into anything.

 

Cait and Dee sang most of the way back to Brooklyn. They belted out My Sharona and then followed that up with She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult.  
The fire in your eyes  
Keeps me alive  
And the fire in your eyes  
Keeps me alive  
I'm sure in her you'll find  
The sanctuary  
I'm sure in her you'll find  
The sanctuary  
They'd each wound the windows down, so their warm faces had felt the rush of air on them as they'd moved through the traffic. Cait's chestnut brown hair blew madly around her face, and Dee took her glasses off, closed her eyes and let the cool breeze buffer against her eyelids and lashes. Cait caught the pained look in Issac's eyes as he gritted his teeth when Dee launched into singing along to John Mellencamp's Jack and Diane and Cait joined in.

"When do the cargo company deliver your stuff Cait?" Dee asked walking behind Cait into her apartment.  
"Tomorrow between 9 and 11. There gonna give me a call half an hour before they deliver. " Cait smiled spreading her arms wide. "Well, this is it, what do you think?" She asked her eyes shining brightly.  
" you're going for the minimalist look then Cait?" Dee said as she scanned her eyes around her surroundings.  
"I know it's not much and none of it matches, but I like it. "  
"Oh Cait, I like it too, it all goes together in a mismatched way. Where's it all from?" Dee parked her case next to Cait's and placed the cat carrier onto the floor.  
"Thrift shops in Brooklyn. Most if it's from Housing Works, Issac helped me pick it up in his van."  
"Issac seems nice?" Cait didn't answer as she unclipped Jimmy ' s carrier and scooped him out. Holding him, in front of her face she nuzzled her nose against the cats.  
"Mummy missed you. " Cait cooed as she let him jump down out of her grasp. He landed expertly on all fours, then gracefully stretched his body out and began to prowl around the apartment. Chad was making meowing noises, telling Cait he wanted out the carrier too. Doing the same for Chad, Cait's eyes filled with love as she watched them both prowl around getting a feel for the place. In the dark days after Sean, the long weeks in the hospital and rebuilding her life Jimmy and Chad had soothed her broken soul.  
"You should see yourself right now." Dee laughed. "Your smile stretches from ear to ear."  
"I've missed them so much." Cait sighed. "Drink?" She called over her shoulder as she headed for the kitchen.  
"I could kill a coffee Cait."  
"Are you tired?" Cait asked the rumble of the coffee machine vibrating on the kitchen counter as she busied herself in the kitchen.  
"I'm not feeling tired, just knacked. You know I've been up since three this morning. I just don't 'understand why British Airways won't let you fly from Heathrow with pets. Seems stupid to me."  
"I'm sorry about that Cait. I had no idea."  
"Don't worry about it. I'll tell you something, though." Dee leant against the kitchen door jamb watching Cait make the coffee. "I don't like that euro tunnel."  
"Why?"Cait asked raising a surprised brow.  
"It just freaked me out. It's claustrophobic for a start. I know it's faster than the ferry, but I felt like I was stuck in a lift. It's nice and bright and everything, but nah it's not for me. I've been on the ferry before, and I like that better."  
"How was the drive to Paris?"  
"It was okay, I think. To be honest, I didn't see much of it on account of the fact I was conked out on the back seat. Lorraine had to wake me up when we got to Orly Airport."  
"Did Lorraine and Lee drive straight back after dropping you off?" Cait asked passing her the mug of coffee.  
"No. Lee booked them into a Hotel until Sunday. Lorraine had no idea. She thought the case Lee had packed for them was mine. The look she gave me when I hauled three cases into the back of her car was priceless. I heard her having a right moan to Lee about how much luggage I'd got. You know she finally finished that open university course and graduated in the summer don't you?"  
"How could I not know, it was plastered all over her Facebook page when she graduated."  
"She starts her new job in September. Lee thought a few days in Paris would be a nice treat for her after all the hard work she put into getting the degree. She's gonna be working as a youth support worker for the local authority."  
"How's Emma?"Cait lifted her mug to her lips and took a quick sip of the hot liquid. She sighed contentedly as the aroma of the coffee wafted under her nose. She flicked her eyes up from studying the creamy bubbles on top of the coffee to Dee's face.  
"She's absolutely fine, and the babies are too. There's growing well, she goes for check ups every week and hopes to at least get passed thirty weeks before labour starts. She's gonna have a c-section. Have you heard from Ang and Zoe since the wedding?"  
"Not to talk to no, only what I've picked up on Facebook. "Cait replied.  
"Well, it's early days, but they've been approved to foster for adoption a brother and sister. The boys seven and his sisters five. They foster while the court decides about the children's future. They need to know that their parents can't resolve their problems and there are no other family members to care for them."  
"I'm glad things are working out for them." Cait was just about to ask Dee about how she was feeling, but Dee cut her off.  
"Anyway enough about everybody else, Birthday girl. I've got presents." Dee smiled. She placed her mug down and went over to scoop up her hand luggage. First, she produced a whole stack of birthday cards which Cait opened then lined up along the mantle over the fire. Even Ella had sent a card. She'd passed it on to Dee when she'd picked up Jimmy and Chad for the trip.  
"Ella says after your tenant leaves in a couple of weeks she'll start work on preparing the barge for Winter storage. Are you gonna keep it on?" Dee asked, but Cait just shrugged her shoulders. To be honest, she hadn't a clue what to do about the barge.  
Her presents consisted of every DC comics rebirth Harley Quinn comic she'd missed since she'd been travelling starting with number 12 Joker loves Harley part two and a bottle of mystique. Then Dee a mischievous twinkle in her eye lay Cait's case flat on the floor and began to unzip it. Cait watched silently as Dee rummaged around finally producing a carrier bag and passing it to Cait. She couldn't work out what was in the bag, but on opening it, she found tea bags. Dee laughed at Cait's confused expression.  
"There's over five hundred PJ tips tea bags there." Dee grinned. "Ang said you'd probably appreciate some English tea, so enjoy. I've not finished yet, though." Dee's almond eyes widened at the confused look on Cait's face. Dee began pulling out different chocolate bars from Cait's luggage. When she'd finished, there was a pile of different Dairy Milk bars, half a dozen tubes of Smarties, a packet of Giant Buttons, and another of Minstrels plus two boxes of Maltesers.  
"Ang also said you'd appreciate some English chocolate too."  
"I'm surprised it's not melted," Cait said reaching for a box of Maltesers and rattling it.  
"Yeah, I worried about that too. I had visions of opening your case and finding your clothes covered in a melted chocolate puddle."  
"Well, thank God that didn't happen. "Cait sighed. She'd always been partial to Maltesers.  
"Do you wanna take a shower, Dee? We're invited upstairs for dinner with Viv and Wes tonight; they're dying to meet you." Cait asked scooping up the chocolate and heading into the kitchen with it. Clicking open a cupboard she began arranging the chocolate stash.  
"Yeah, thanks, Cait that's just what I need right now."

They spent a pleasant evening with Viv and Wes. Dee listened to the three of them talk about Peru and Mexico, and Dee dropped in little anecdotes about Cait from their youth that made Wes laugh his deep baritone laugh that made the rest of them laugh along. The four of them made short work of two bottles of wine.  
"You wanna nightcap, Dee?" Cait asked as she guided Dee back into the apartment.  
"Sure, what you got? "  
"Vodka, vodka or........vodka."  
"I'll have urhm.......vodka, then. " Dee smiled.  
Later Dee lay sprawled on the sofa, and Cait lay in the tub chair her legs dangling over the edge.  
"Sooo, Issac, Cait. You been out with him yet?"Dee asked turning her head as her eyes travelled across the floor to settle on Cait's face.  
"No, Christ Dee I've only known him five minutes."  
" Never stopped you before. Do ya fancy him?"Dee asked raking her eyes over Cait's upside down expression. Cait's head was close to dangling off the edge of the chair her hair hung down touching the floor.  
"Nope."She answered resolutely.  
"He fancies you, though. I saw the way he kept looking at you during the drive here earlier. He so wants to get in your knickers."  
"Well, I'm not interested," Cait replied determination in her tone.  
"What does that mean? Are you not interested in Issac? or sex? Or sex with Issac?"  
"Both." Cait squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to shuffle her slipping body back into the chair.  
"I don't believe you Caitlin Cross. You know what I'm gonna ask next don't you?" Cait was silent. "Well, are you in contact with Q? Have you seen him?"  
"No and no. I missed him to see and speak to by seconds at the Airport when I flew in. He dropped me a couple of texts about meeting up but then nothin'. Tends to complicate matters when the guy you've got the hots for has a girlfriend." Cait snapped her eyes back open and regarded Dee from across the room.  
"Huh, I knew you still had a thing for him. Six months later and he's stuck in your head still.How do you know he has a girlfriend anyway?"  
" I just got the feeling from his friends there was someone else on the scene. It doesn't matter; I'll get over it. I've promised Issac I'd have dinner with him after you've gone home. Don't worry." Cait said waving her arm in the air to stop Dee's next question. "I have absolutely no intention of sleeping with him I can promise you that. Anyhow, if Brian's still in my head, Sal's defiantly still in yours too."  
"Stop. Stop right there Cait. You do realise the last time we talked about Q and Sal we were drunk then too."  
"You were." Cait scoffed.  
"You weren't far behind me Cait. Anyway, Sal is no doubt up to his eyeballs in dirty nappies right now." Dee straightened up on the sofa and reaching for her glass she necked the last of the vodka. Cait rolled off the tub chair onto the floor. She finished her drink too then crawled on all four across the floor to Dee.  
"What are you doing?" Dee asked shaking her head. Cait reached Dee's legs and rested her chin on her knee.  
"How are you, Dee? Don't fob me off with the 'oh I'm fine' line. Truthfully, Dee, you've had a shitty few months how do you really feel?"Dee took her glasses off. She folded the arms across each other and fiddled with them between her fingers as she studied them intently her eyes cast down. Raising her gaze to where Cait's face rested on her knee Dee found hot tears were streaming down her cheeks.  
"For more than twenty years I poured my life into my family and kids Cait. Now nobody really needs me I feel like I've been sacked." Wiping the tears away from her cheeks, she sniffed. "I'm so lonely Cait." Dee's watery eyes focused on Cait as she gave her a weak smile.  
"Well, you have a good cry, Dee, if it makes you feel better." Cait pulled herself up off the floor standing on slightly wobbly legs. "Just not the whole three weeks you're here eh?"  
"I'll try not to." She smiled up at her friend. "The wine and vodka may have had something to do with turning me into a sniffling wreck, though. Think I'm gonna turn in Cait. "Dee struggled to haul herself up from the sofa. She managed it on her second attempt.  
"I'm glad you came, Dee." Cait beamed.  
"I'm glad you invited me. No more tears, promise." Dee blinked the last of the tears away from her eyes.  
"No, no more tears. You and me Dee, we're gonna have a brilliant three weeks." hugging each other they stumbled through the apartment to their beds. They sniggered together as there drunken brains tried to make their legs work properly. 

 

 

 

 

 

"


	23. See me.

Dee woke with a start to Cait's rapping knuckles on her door.  
"Wakey wakey sleepy head." She called through the door. "Cargo company's just dropped me a text, half an hour. Shake a leg Dee; I need your help. Coffee and pancakes on the table in five."  
"Okay," Dee called back flinging the covers off her and sitting up rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  
Five large boxes were delivered just as Cait and Dee finished their coffee. Cait was already dressed and had begun to cut open the boxes while Dee showered and got dressed.  
They spent the day unpacking the boxes. They put up framed photos of Cait's parent's. There was a large clip frame with a montage of tired old pictures of Cait at uni with Ang and Emma interspersed with drunken photos of the five friends together. It took Cait a full hour to check through her comic collection. Dee watched her with an amused smile playing at the corners of her mouth. She sat crossed legged on the sofa sipping coffee.  
"Do they pass your approval Miss Cross?"  
"I know you think I'm nuts, but there important to me. These comics connect me to dad. "Cait said as she glanced up from her position on the floor to where Dee sat.  
"I liked your dad. He always used to call me Sandra Dee, remember? He would sing 'look at me I'm Sandra Dee' whenever we came around yours to practice for Grease. I suppose you'll be bagging and boarding the other Harley comics to add to the collection, won't you?  
"After I've read them first."  
"Oh obviously." Dee watched Cait intently as she pushed the comic book storage container to the side of the wall.  
"I read two last night before I went to sleep."  
"Really, you read Harley Quinn when you were pissed? I'm surprised your drunk brain didn't make you dream about the zombie apocalypse on Coney Island."  
"Nope. I slept like the proverbial log." Dee wished she could say the same. She should have been exhausted, but she'd lain for a long time staring into the unfamiliar darkness that surrounded her before sleep eventually claimed her tired brain.  
It was late afternoon before they'd finished unpacking the boxes. Cait stood to survey the living room with a satisfied smile. The place was actually looking like hers now. After her parents had died Cait had kept only a few things that held sentimental value. An embroidered picture that she remembered her mum sewing when she was five. A porcelain Scotty dog that had always sat on her dad's desk. A box of Lego, the family photo album and a Super Nintendo SNES from 1992 with Super Mario Brothers. It had worked the last time she'd used it, but Cait knew that was a good few years ago. She remembered how she'd pestered her dad for it the Christmas of '92. Cait hadn't kept anything sentimental from her time with Sean. Clearing the house after she came out of the hospital she'd just collected together anything that was hers. It was mostly clothes, books CDs and DVDs. Cait couldn't quite bring herself to digitise her whole CD collection just yet, though. One whole shelf in the display case was taken up with the CDs another with DVDs. On another her Terry Pratchett book collection sat next to her Claire North and David Mitchell books.  
"All done?" Cait asked as Dee walked up behind her. Dee had left Cait to finish up with the last few things from the boxes and had gone to unpacked her suitcase.  
"Yep, all done. What now?"  
"Food. I'm starving. Get your bag we're eating out."  
Dee and Cait marched along the heat licked sidewalk. The path in the distance seemed to smoulder sending up a hot wavering haze. Swinging a right then a left they headed along 18th Avenue towards the subway.  
"Here," Cait said as they neared the station. "I got you a pay-per-ride MetroCard."  
"Bit like an oyster card right?" Dee asked.  
"Yeah. We're heading for Times Square."  
"Okay, just stay close and don't lose me." Dee smiled gripping hold of Cait by the arm.  
The doors of the subway cart let out a ping as Dee followed Cait onto the poorly ventilated carriage.A voice crackled over the faulty speakers telling passengers to Beware! The doors are closing! The wheels made a tha -thump tha -thump sound as the train pulled out of the station.  
Cait and Dee tumbled out of the opening doors onto the station platform and burst out laughing. It had happened just as they'd got up as the train slowed into the 42nd Street Time Square station. Their eyes had locked onto each others as the putrid smell hit their nostrils and they tried their hardest to hold their breaths.  
"Oh my god, Cait. It smelt like something crawled up there arse and died!"  
"Smelt like it could strip paint from any surface. This way," Laughed Cait."I need fresh air it's lingering in my nostrils."  
"Hurry up then 'cause it's hit the back of my throat, and I'm gonna gag if I don't breath some clean air sharpish." They giggled together and had to stop when they came out onto 42nd Street just to take some deep breaths. They ate at Applebees. They drank beer, ate a grilled chicken caesar salad each and Dee pursued Cait to have a dessert too.  
"I fuckin' love this," Dee sighed as she spooned ice - cream and caramel sauce into her mouth relishing the creaminess melting on her tongue. "Can we come again?"  
"We could do Madam Tussauds another day it's not far."  
"If we do that and come here to eat again, can I pass on the caesar salad and have two of these?" Dee sniggered as she crammed cheesecake and caramel apples into her mouth.  
They had a slow, lazy walk down 7th Avenue to Penn Station on 30th Street and from there headed back to Brooklyn. Thankfully they didn't encounter a fart fog on the return journey.  
Dee dashed up the steps of the station on Nostrand Avenue ahead of Cait. Her eyes searched the avenue of trees in front of her as she shielded her eyes from the bright sunshine. Turning Dee squinted at the brightness, the sun in her eyes as she waited for Cait.  
"Which way now?"  
"Pub! It's happy hour."Cait beamed and stirred Dee in the direction of the Nostrand Avenue Pub.  
Dee swung her leg over the weathered bench and sat down across from Cait in the back yard of the pub.  
"Please tell me we aren't gonna spend the whole three weeks I'm here drunk Cait."  
"No, but it's a good place to start. I got my references back from the UK this morning, so I'm all set to put my application in next week."  
" I suppose I should start looking for a job when I get back home. I might even go and see if I can have my old job back working checkout at the supermarket." The idea didn't fill Dee with enthusiasm. Rather than a step forward with her life. Going back to working at the supermarket felt more like a step back.  
"Is that what you want?" Cait asked.  
"pays the bills." Dee shrugged. "Matt wants to know what your gonna do about the Harley? "  
"I'm unsure Dee. Should I sell? I dunno. I even thought about shipping her over here, but there's nowhere to keep her." Cait tipped the last of the beer back. "Another?"  
"Yeah, go for it," Dee replied.

They arrived back at the apartment just as Viv got out of her car from finishing a twelve-hour shift.  
"Hey, Cait, Dee, you had a busy day?"  
"Yeah, unpacking boxes, then I took Dee uptown."  
"Bit a bad news Cait." Cait's eyes darted over Viv ' s in the half-light of the growing dusk. Panic rose in her stomach as she thought she was going to tell her the job at the Radutzky had gone. " I tried the best I could, but I just can't get another ticket for the Roller Derby tomorrow evening. Do you still wanna go? Dee could have my ticket, and you two can go with Wes."  
" For a minute then I thought you were gonna tell me the job vacancy had been filled." Cait breathed a sigh of relief then ran her eyes over to look at Dee.  
"I couldn't possible take your ticket, Viv."Dee shook her head." It's your birthday present for Cait you have to go. We can spend the day together tomorrow, and I can call the girls during the evening. Go to the Roller Derby with Viv and Wes and release your inner Harley Quinn, you know you want to."  
"You don't mind?"  
"'Cause not. I can keep an eye on Jimmy and Chad and have a relaxing evening."

 

Friday dawned with the promise of another scorching hot day in the city. Cait and Dee took the hour journey by subway to The Brooklyn Museum which was close to The Brooklyn Library and Prospect Park.They spent four hours at the museum. Most of the time was spent on the 5th floor wandering through their American Art Collection. Four hours wasn't nearly long enough, and Cait promised Dee they would come back before she went home. They grabbed a sandwich and coffee to go from Lincoln Station Cafe and headed back to 17th Avenue.  
Dee could hear Cait singing merrily to herself in the shower as she answered the door. Viv dropped off her laptop and headed back upstairs to finish getting ready herself. She'd offered Dee the use of the laptop so she could Skype the girls. Dee appreciated the kind gesture and carried it through to the living room as Cait emerged from the shower. Cait padded through to Dee a towel wrapped around her body another turbaned around her head.  
"You sure you're okay with me going out?" She asked again clicking the switch that saw the ceiling fans come to life.  
"Honestly Cait, go and have a great time I will be just fine. Hannah ' s not in school this afternoon, so I'm Skype-ing her first. I said about seven, which is two in the afternoon UK time. Then I'll Skype Kerry and Kristen after. Kristen told me she'd be back home about three in the afternoon."  
"Aren't you a little bit worried they're gonna have a party at the weekend?"  
"I think I've resigned myself to the fact they will. It's their last weekend together in the house. Next weekend Sophie and her brother will be helping Kristen pack her stuff and Hannah and Tom are driving over on Saturday to load up the car with Kerry's stuff."  
"Can you remember that party we had at Lorraine's when her parents went away that weekend?"  
"Which one? There were a fair few parties at Lorraine's house."  
"The one where Lisa Mackenzie fell in the pond."  
"Oh yeah. She was outside snogging the face off Andy Phillips. He nearly puked in her mouth but did it down her front instead...."  
"And she was so shocked she lost her balance and fell in the pond."  
"I never did like her. I laughed my arse off that night.I can still see her arms and legs flaying in the yucky pond water. She smelt fuckin' awful when she eventually got out. I think the pond weed in hair look suited her, though."  
"What you gonna do after you've spoken to the girls?" Cait asked unwrapping the towel around her head and rubbing vigorously at her chestnut locks.  
"I'm gonna have a long bath and an early night. I feel absolutely shattered. I think the jet lags catching up with me. What time you off?"  
"Quarter to six. Doors open at six-thirty first whistles at eight -thirty."  
"You've got half an hour then, " Dee smiled swiping her eyes at the clock. "Better get your skates on Cait."  
"Oh your so not funny." Cait sighed shaking her head heading for her room.  
Cait skipping down the steps to where Viv and Wes were waiting in their car. The stifling hot day was turning into a dense humid evening. Cait turned and gave Dee a wave. She'd blow dryer her hair leaving it cascading down her back. She'd picked out a strapless blue smocked summer dress with a little flower print and her small bag she'd looped over her head and across her body, so it rested on her hip. She climbed into the back seat and wound the windows down as Wes started on the hour-long journey to the Upper East Side of Manhatten.

Wes had picked up his parking ticket from the head valet of Custom Parking LLC on Lexington and third. Then Cait had followed Viv and Wes out of the car park.  
"I went to fresh meat tryouts for three weeks for the Hellfire Harlots my local team. " Cait told Viv and Wes as they walked along Lexington Avenue to 68th Street.  
"Did you not get on the team Cait?" Viv asked as her eyes rolled skyward. She was sure she'd felt a few drops of rain and was wondering if they were going to get a downpour.  
"I never got the chance to see if I was good enough for the team." Cait shrugged her eyes focused on the sidewalk as she watched her sandaled feet slap against the paving.  
"What happened Cait?" Viv pulled her gaze away from the sky. She didn't imagine it; it was defiantly trying to rain.  
"Sean," Cait replied swinging her gaze up from her feet forcing a tight smile her eyes locked on the buildings in the distance. "He didn't like me going. It took me away from him, away from his control and he hated not being in control of me. He convinced me to give up, said we should spend more time together and I fell for it and gave it up to please him. I even had a Roller Derby name picked out for myself." They were coming up close to Hunter College now. They'd quickened their pace when they'd each felt the first spits of rain. They could see other people milling about outside and heading over towards the entrance of the college's sportsplex.  
"What name did you pick for yourself Cait? You've got to tell us now."  
"A good Roller Derby name is a good pun sounding name. So third choice was Bruise Wayne, my second choice was Skate Winslet, but I decided I'd be called Steffi Scope."  
"You know if you get this job and come work with us I'm so gonna call you that don't you?"Wes laughed deeply as he guided Viv and Cait towards the west entrance of Hunter College Sportsplex.  
"This way ladies," He smiled his big frame holding the door open for his wife and Cait." Best smiles this evening ladies looks like there's a film crew setting up outside. I've seen some of the International WFTDA Championships streamed online. You should check 'em out Cait."  
"I might just do that." Replied Cait as she followed Viv passed Wes.

The last game of the Gotham Girls home seasons fixtures was for the second year running between the Brooklyn Bombshells and Manhatten Mayhem.  
Cait could hear the noise of the Roller Derby crowd before they'd even opened the door into the arena. Cait ducked under Wes ' s outstretched arm as he held the door open for her to enter the arena. The wall of sound from the crowd assaulted Cait's eardrums. Smiling widely, Cait followed Viv to their high seats. The sound system was blasting out Black Betty by Ram Jam and all the supporters were singing along.  
She really gets me high (Bam-A- lam)  
You know that's no lie (Bam-A - lam )  
She's so rock steady ( Bam-A - lam )  
She's always ready (Bam-A - lam )  
Whoa Black Betty (Bam-A - lam )  
Whoa Black Betty (Bam-A - lam )  
The crowd waved banners and shook cowbells and made as much noise as they possibly could. As the teams skated onto the track, the sound system began playing Joan Jett ' s Bad Reputation and through cheers and whistles they sang along to this track too.  
I don't give a damn  
'Bout my reputation  
I've never been afraid of any deviation  
An' I don't really care  
If you think I'm strange  
I ain't gonna change  
An' I'm never gonna care  
'Bout my bad reputation 

 

The score at half time was Brooklyn Bombshells 82 to Manhatten Mayhem 62. Cait excused herself and headed for the ladies. Viv she could tell was having a hard time following the action and was becoming a little disinterested. Wes had tried to explain again what was happening but Viv soon got annoyed. Cait had given up trying to explain things to Viv near the end of the first half.  
"Let's just watch the action, honey." Viv had sighed. "All this explaining stuff to me is getting my head in a spin and pulling you guys away from the game. I think I've got a big enough grasp of what going on to follow the game in the second half." Viv smiled up at Cait as she resumed her seat.  
"Have I missed much?" Cait asked Wes.  
"Nah. They've just announced the half time entertainment, though. Three friends are punishing some guy from a TV show that's on cable. He's gonna be the jammer and Brooklyn and Manhatten are picking their two blockers to go against him on the track. That's what they're doing now. He's got fifteen minutes to try and score as many points as he can." Cait's eyes widened as she absorbed exactly what Wes had just said. Cait cast a quick glance at Viv before searching her eyes over the benches in the middle of the track.  
She saw Murr first. Dressed in a pair of shorts that only just skimmed his butt cheeks. He was wearing a tight vest top with the Impractical Jokers logo on the front; he had elbow and knee pads on and a bright yellow protective helmet on his head. He was fiddling with the strap under his chin, and it looked like he was complaining it was too tight. Then she saw him. Passing Murr, Q gave him a little shove in the back. Murr wasn't expecting it and his feet went from under him as he tried to regain his composure on the skates. Cait wasn't much of a lip reader, but she knew Murr had called 'Asshole!' after Brian. He cracked up laughing then his hands clapping in front of him as he moved along to make room for Sal and Joe. Sal pushed Murr in the back too, but when Joe did it Murr had hardly recovered from Sal's push and with Joe being a little over enthusiastic, Murr went down. Joe was pointing at Murr laying on the floor laughing a wide mouthed all teeth laugh as Murr tried to pull himself up off the floor. His feet flayed underneath him as he tried to stand back up.  
Brooklyn Bombshells picked their Captain Evilicious and Co- Captain Raggedy Animal. Manhatten Mayhem chose Full Metal Jackie and their co-captain Roxy Dallas. The four women lined up on the pivot line while Murr took his place on the jammer line. He kept glancing back at the four woman fear in his eyes. Brooklyn ' s Co-Captain kept snarling at him and flicked two fingers from her eyes to Murr. He hardly made it off the jammer line the first jam as the four woman caught him and grabbed a limb each. They skated around the track with Murr swinging between them. They dumped him on the jammer line laying on his back and turned to the crowd who in turn roared and stamped their feet with approval. The next jam Murr was caught before the first corner and was passed from one player to another around the rest of the track as they spun him around.Two more jams saw Murr caught twice more. The next jam the woman let Murr complete one lap and score a point before they left the pivot line and chased after him. Murr managed to cross the line and score another point as the Brooklyn Bombshells Co-Captain caught him around the middle and lifted him up swinging him around as his skinny legs flayed through the air.  
The bright glow of the arena swam before Cait's eyes as she sucked in a deep breath. Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched Brian laughing with Sal and Joe at Murr's dismal efforts to score any points. She'd tried pushing thoughts of him to the back of her mind as the text messages had gone unanswered and his promise of a phone call had remained silent. Murr was helped off the track after only managing to score three points. The second half of the match resumed, and Cait watched Brian from her high vantage point.  
"Cait, hun,"Viv nudged her in the ribs with her elbow to draw her attention. "Why do you keep staring at those three guys sat on the benches with the Roller Derby girls."  
"It's Brian," Cait stated simply giving Viv a quick glance before turning her eyes back to the track.  
"Mr Rough around the edges? "Cait nodded. "Interesting, very interesting. " Viv smiled raising her eyebrows slightly.  
Cait's eyes never strayed far from studying Brian as she tried to follow the rest of the match and watch him too. The second half saw Manhatten Mayhem claw back a come back. Brooklyn gained an advantage though and extended their lead to 108 to 71. Manhatten wasn't about to give up their crown without a fight and after the 10th jam of the bout the score was123.-99. It was a fiercely played game as Brooklyn Bombshells took the final win with 173-118. Cait's heart hammered even faster in her chest as her stomach did flip flops at the sight of Brian cheering the teams on along with the crowd.  
The crowd roared and hollered as Brooklyn Bombshells were awarded the Golden Skate trophy. Roller Derby fans flooded onto the track to meet their favourite team members and take selfies.  
"You should go and speak to him Cait," Viv said giving Cait a nod of encouragement. "Listen Cait, Wes, and I are gonna head on over to Bedford Falls for a drink it's between 2nd and 3rd on East 67th. Go speak to him Cait; you know you want to." Cait cast her eyes down avoiding Viv ' s intense glare. "Drop us a text when your done hun." Wes was already standing as Viv grabbed him by the arm and guided him away from Cait. She watched their backs disappear through the door as she pulled her eyes around once again scanning the track for the familiar figure of him.  
She found she was sitting on her own. Draping her arm over the back of her seat, she continued to watch Q. Along with Sal, Joe and Murr, they were moving along a line of fans. Greeting them, talking and taking photos with them Cait sat watching intrigued by the natural confidence they had with the fans.  
He edged closer to the side of the arena where Cait sat. His messed greying hair fell into his eyes as he kept dragging his fingers through it.Brian's head suddenly snapped to the right the feeling of eyes on him as he searched the now almost empty seating. Cait sat there doing nothing staring at him and as he locked eye contact with the woman in the blue dress Q froze.


	24. Free your mind.

Standing Cait slowly climbed down the arena steps onto the track. Her heart hammered in her chest, and her mouth felt dry. She couldn't do anything other than smile. Cait felt the thrill of excitement at seeing him again tremble through her body.  
Q was in shook. His eyes devoured her as she moved towards him. That air of confidence in her walk that he remembered so well. Her chestnut hair cascaded down her back in natural waves. Q's dark eyes stayed locked on Cait's as she got nearer to where he stood. She stopped stock still right in front of him.  
"Miss me?" Cait finally spoke, the quake in her voice giving her nervousness away. "How's your head, Brian?" She asked. With a bold move, she lifted the lock of hair that flopped onto his brow into his eye. "See," Cait smiled. "I told you it wouldn't scar." Q was silent. He was giving himself a chance to stare at her savouring every second as his eyes stared into hers. He hadn't forgotten the first time he'd found himself looking into those eyes. Her face had been so close to his when she'd stitched his head wound together in the Hospital. It had been the first time she'd glanced his way with a softness in her hazel eyes that had stirred something deep within him. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't speak. He was acutely aware of his surrounding as his eyes focused on her lips. He instinctively covered her hand that rested against his cheeks now with his own. He used the leverage of her hand in his to pull her into him. Q hugged her tightly drawing her into him as he buried his face into her soft hair, breathing in the familiar scent of her. They held each other for a long moment neither moving or saying anything.  
Cait felt his tight embrace begin to change as he tensed up in her arms.  
"No! " He disentangled himself from the comfort of her body pushing her away with a firm grip on her upper arms. " Damn it Cait; I can't do this. " Q stepped back his brow furrowed as his mouth set into a tight, grim line. Q closed his eyes in exasperation. Turning his back Q strode purposely away from where Cait stood. He headed in the direction of the exit. She watched him go a feeling of utter dejection wreathing in her stomach. She felt like a complete fool watching him go. Cait wished the ground would open up and swallow her as the crimson flush burned on her cheeks. She couldn't even bring herself to look at the other three Jokers.  
"Go after him." A voice urged into her ear.  
"I don't think so, I......"  
"Listen....Cait......a lots happened since January."  
"Yeah, I kinda worked out he'd got a girlfriend. I thought that we could at least stay friends, but I don't think that's likely to happen." Cait could see Murr and Sal out of the corner of her eye. Sal was busy on his phone tapping at the screen Murr was close up to him his hands deep in his pockets as his eyes scanned Sal's phone over his shoulder. She could see Sal speaking into his phone held between his fingers.  
"Cait, is that what you think? He hasn't got a girlfriend sweetheart. It's complicated, though. Talk to him. Guys...."Joe called over to Sal and Murr. "Tell Cait she's gotta go talk to Q."  
"He's not answering my calls," Sal stated.  
"Go. Go on Go. " Joe urged as Cait's hesitating eyes darted in the direction of the exit that Q had gone through. Cait gave Joe a tight smile. Coming to a quick decision, she turned and raced off towards the exit. Her head was telling her that this was a bad idea, but she kept on going. One rejection a night was enough for anyone she reasoned. She was listening to her heart instead of head, the second rejection of the evening being an odds-on cert if she managed to catch up with him. She reached for the doors exit bar and leaving the arena went after Q.  
"What am I supposed to do now?" Sal moaned. "He gave me a left here. How am I gonna get home now?"  
"You can stay at mine if you want?" said Murr.  
"Thanks, man but I gotta get home. I'm picking Madison and Leah up first thing in the morning."  
"I'll drop you off home Sal." Joe offered. Sal weighed up the situation. Turning to Murr, he asked. "Where's the nearest bar Buster Hymen?"  
"Don't call me that! "Murr exclaimed. "Which one of you stupid mother fuckers thought that was a good Roller Derby name for me? "  
"He did." Sal and Joe said together pointing at each other.  
"It's a God damn all female league you ass holes." Murr continued to complain. "Did you see the size of some of those women's thighs?"  
"Stop ya belly aching Murr." Joe flicked his eyes over towards the edge of the arena. "Hey, blue hair," he called. The Roller Derby woman with the bright blue hair her skates now swinging in her hands turned to look at them over her shoulder. " You wanna go out with my friend?" Joe said pointing at Murr. James hissed through his teeth at Joe to stop. "I bet you'd like to feel her thighs clamped either side of your head wouldn't you?" Joe sniggered as Murr shushed him, his eyes on the Roller Derby girl walking over as he smiled at her stifling a giggle in his throat.

 

The lights of the college's building pooled out onto the sidewalk as Cait stepped out of the entrance of the Sportsplex. The damp paving showed Cait that they indeed had, had a downpour while she'd been inside watching the Roller Derby. Cait breathed deeply filling her nostrils with the acrid, earthy fresh smell of the rain-soaked slabs. She stood for a moment wondering what to do. Cait contemplated just heading on over to the pub and catching up with Viv and Wes. Her gaze had travelled around the buildings in front of her before she made her decision. Turning right Cait set off in the direction she'd come in with Viv and Wes earlier. She had no idea if he'd driven himself to Hunters College or not but heading for the car park seemed like a good idea. Cait theorised if she didn't catch up or any sight of Q then she'd wait for Viv and Wes, get a left back to Brooklyn and permanently delete Brian Quinn from her thoughts.  
"You like this smell don't you Cait? That fresh rain smell on dry concrete? " Turning at the sound of his voice her eyes found him leaning against a concrete pillar post she'd just walked past on her right. His hands were stuffed deep into his pockets, one foot resting flat against the support. He pulled his gaze up from her feet his dark eyes lingering on her legs then travelling up to cruise over the curve of her breasts against the smocked top of her dress. Q's brow knitted into a frown as his eyes burned into Cait's.  
"You remembered." Cait breathed stepping towards him.  
"How could I forget? You're in here," Q said tapping his temple with his finger. "you're stuck in here and try as I might Cait, my stupid brain won't let me quit you."  
Some days over the past six months just the thought of Q had been the only thing that had got Cait through a shitty day. When yet another hungry child, it's parents dead had come into the orphanage in Cambodia. When a sick child their brow drenched from fever came through the doors of the Clinic in either Peru or Mexico. When she'd lain in her bed, hugging herself to sleep, she'd see his brilliant smile and had fantasised about seeing him again. This wasn't quite how she'd pictured it, though.  
"What was that all about in there?" She asked inclining her head in the direction they'd just come from.  
"I can't Cait. I want to but I can't. It's not fair to you to bring you into this."  
"Well, tell me exactly what 'this' is Brian, then let me decided for myself." Cait stretched out her arm offering her hand. Q's brow furrowed as his gaze dipped to her outstretched hand. Cait wiggled her fingers. Q pushed his raised foot away from the pillar. He wrenched his eyes from Cait's hand to her eager eyes. His hand found hers as he gently held her fingers in his large hand. The soft touch of her palm against his sent goosebumps prickling up his arms and across his neck sending a shiver down his spine. They walked hand in hand back passed Hunter College as Q silently lead the way.

 

Sitting across from Q in the Pig and Whistle Cait had a chance to study him closer as he finished telling her about the past few weeks. His face looked tired and drawn, the dim pub lighting accentuating the dark circles under his eyes. His tone was level and claim until he recalled in minute detail the moment when he'd kicked his bathroom down and the scene that had meet his eyes.  
Cait had expected to hear him say he'd meet someone else. That this 'someone ' was the real deal. That what little time they'd shared together was just a fling nothing more. She'd anticipated the 'we can still be friends' conversation. Nothing had prepared her for the reality of what had been going on in his life.  
"I feel like it's my fault. I called her, I initiated the sex,"Q flicked his eyes up quickly from the bottle he clasped in between his fingers. He tried to read her expression, but Cait was giving nothing away. " I let my dick do the thinking. I can't help feeling that maybe I lead her on, that maybe I gave her the impression there was more to it than just fuckin' her. I never thought she'd......" His voice trailed off as his eyes fell to glaring at the bottle again as he twirled it between his fingers.  
"You didn't tell her to cry rape, though, did you? She was probably showing signs of mental health problems way before you came on the scene. You were just the catalyst that tipped her over the edge. You shouldn't blame yourself; it's not your fault."  
" I know Cait. I know all this, but I still can't shake the feeling I let her down."  
"If it hadn't been you, it would have been someone else. I suppose she's getting the help she needs now in the psychiatric unit."  
"I nearly went to see her after I came home from Philly. Sal doesn't know; he'd go ape shit if he did. I had this overwhelming need just to make sure she was okay. I didn't get passed main reception, though. Chickened out. "  
"I don't think they would have let you see her anyway. That's a good thing really don't you think? False hope and all that. You visiting her could have sent her off on a whole new delusional episode again medication or not. You're best leaving things be and give her time to get herself in a better place." Cait raised the bottle of Magner's cider to her lips and took a swig. His eyes travelled down her throat as she tipped her head back. His gaze roamed down languidly over her tanned bare shoulders. Levelling her hazel eyes with his Cait saw the trace of discomfort as his lids lowered. He'd quickly flicked his dark eyes down. He knew his eyes had been glued to the way the smocked bodice hugged the curve of her breasts. He hoped it hadn't looked too obvious. She looked good. Her chestnut brown hair had slight golden flecks in it when it was caught in the wall lights of the pub. He could still make out the faint smattering of freckles across her nose as his gaze settled on her lips. The tip of her tongue flicked across her bottom lip as she drew in the drop of cider that the swig of the bottle left behind before it trickled down her chin. A warm feeling grew in his gut spreading through his loins. Six months later and he still wanted her as much as he had the first time he'd seen her.  
"Ya want another?" He asked nodding his head in the direction of her now empty bottle. Q reached for his bottle. His other hand was underneath the table they sat at. His fingertips were digging tightly into his thigh through his jeans. It was a forlorn effort. That all too familiar feeling in his groin was spreading, rather than dissipating as he'd hoped.  
"No." Cait shook her head. "Thank's, but I'd best be making tracks home. You can walk me to the subway station if you like." Cait smiled. She'd already texted Viv and told her not to wait for her and that she'd make her own way home.  
"The subway?" Q's brows rose in question. "You're not seriously gonna get a night train home, are you? There're all sorts of wacko weirdos riding the train at night. Friend o' mine sat next to a guy once that had blood all over his pants and snickers. Another group of friends actually saw a grown man masturbating on the late night train home right in front of them like it was the regular thing to do. Nope, I'll take you home Cait. " His glare travelled with unwavering thoroughness over her face as Cait dipped her eyes away from his scrutiny.  
"Thanks." Cait smiled dragging her fingers through her hair as her eyes levelled on his. Q's dark eyes flicked quickly away from hers as he stood up.  
"You can tell me all about Cambodia, Peru and Mexico Nurse Cait on the ride over. Where 'bouts is your place?"  
"Brooklyn. 17th Avenue. The Bath Beach end." Q nodded as they both got up leave the Pig and Whistle.

 

"Well, this is me." Cait turned smiling at him as she unclipped her seat belt. "I met Viv and Wes in Peru; it's their house, but it's three apartments. I'm on the 1st floor." Cait said swinging the jeep door open and stepping out onto the sidewalk. Cait watched Q get out the drivers side and come around next to her.  
"Nice place." He stated casting his eyes up at the building. A light shone in the front window of the second-floor apartment. A shadow flicked across the blind; then the light went out as Q turned to Cait. "You sticking around for good? You're not gonna be jetting off to someplace else in a week or two?"  
"Nope. I've got a friend out in Tanzania and another in Nepal. We became friends in Cambodia. I'm leaving the globe-trotting to them now. This is where I wanna be." Reaching out Cait pushed the metal gate open with the tips of fingers. Stepping through she closed it between them. "Thanks for the left back Brian." Cait smiled at him.  
" You wanna come out with me Cait? For a drink, ya know something like that, nothing too heavy?" He dug his hands deep into his pockets again rocking slightly on his heels as he waited for her answer.  
"Okay." Cait said running her fingers along the metal of the gate."Drop me a text when you're free." She took two backwards steps along the path towards the steps. "Night Brian," Cait called as she turned dashing up the steps. She unlocked her door stepped through and shut it behind her disappearing out of his view.  
Ditching her bag and Sandles Cait went and sneaked a glance from the living room window out onto the street. He was still there. In the same position in front of the gate. Instead of turning towards his jeep, he pulled his hands roughly out of his pockets and gripped hold of the gate. She could see he was undecided about what to do. This was a different Brian Quinn to the one she'd met in Manchester. Then he'd been confident, ballsy, full of bravado, outrageously flirty and sexy as hell. Now he was more sombre and downcast. Cait could tell he was trying to cover this with bluster; he was broke. One thing remained, though, he was still sexy as hell.  
"Make ya mind up Brian," Cait said to herself as he hesitated his hands still on the gate. Then he did it, and Cait watched as he took two long strides up the path. She padded back through to the hall and waited. Cait stood expectantly waiting for his knock. The soft glow of the hall lamp lit her face and danced her overly large shadow against the wall behind her. There was no knock. Approaching the door, Cait looked through the spy hole and could just make out the back of his head from where he sat on the outside steps. Cait glanced up into the darkness of the second-floor landing resting her hands on her hips. She sighed and headed for the kitchen. She didn't switch the light on and nearly fell over Chad. Stumbling she regained her composure, then opened the fridge. The light from the refrigerator pooled at her feet to reveal Chad ' s apologetic face peering up her as he meowed.  
"Yes, I know he's outside sitting on the steps Chad." Cait addressed the cat as she reached for two beers. Chad meowed at her, his eyes shone reflecting the light of the fridge. "No, I don't know why he's just sitting there either Chad." Crouching down Cait gripped the neck of the two bottles in one hand. Then she smoothed over Chad ' s face with the other.The fridge door shut softly above her head leaving Cait crouching in the dark of the kitchen. Chad's thick velvet soft fur was warm to the touch as she gazed into the cat's eyes. "I intend to find out, though." She addressed him standing up and moving out of her kitchen. Chad followed her out, but he left her in the hall as he prowled his way towards the living room. Q was still there; she spied him through the spy hole again. Cait defly unlocked the door and swung it open.  
"Don't you have a home to go to?" She questioned tapping him on the shoulder with the open beer bottle then offering it out to him. She sat down next to him on the steps and taking a drink glanced sideways at him.  
During his time in Philly with his parents, they'd somehow reverted to treating him like a child again. His mom fussed over him, and his time was mostly spent helping his dad in the garage, garden or doing DIY in the house that had been put off for far too long. Getting back to his home the weekend before he'd found the smashed table and bloodied towels were gone. He'd called a bathroom fitter who was recommended by friends. The price quoted was agreed and work to reconfigure his bathroom would begin the following week. He hated using the bathroom. He always left the light on during the night and spent as little time as possible in the shower either in the morning or evening. To top it all his sleep pattern was well and truly screwed. Q found he would lie for hours blinking into the darkness of his room before sleep came. Then he could only sleep for a few hours before something in his subconscious would jolt him awake. Then the whole process would start again. By morning he'd be more tired that when he'd gone to bed the night before. Afternoon naps were becoming a regular thing. Now he was home Q would fall asleep all too easily on the sofa. The curtains were always drawn to block out the natural bright afternoon daylight He'd wake more often than not to three furry bodies ensconced against him. Brooklyn and chessie on his legs and Benjamin on his front. It was no wonder he'd wake up with a slight shine of sweat on his brow. Being used as a cat bed on a hot August afternoon wasn't ideal.  
"Yeah, I should be halfway across the bridge on my way home by now but the thing is Caitlin I don't wanna go. I'd much rather be here with you. If I leave, I feel that I won't get back to you again. It's like all this is some weird dream sequence in a terrible movie. And come tomorrow when I woke up in my bed at my home I'd find it wasn't real at all." He held the beer in his left hand tapping the neck of the bottle against his lips the condensation from the bottle wet on his fingers.  
Cait pulled her leg's up; one knee grazed over his other hand that rested on his thigh. Her eyes fluttered as she tried to calm the pounding of her heart. She put her beer down.  
"This is no dream sequence, Brian."Cait smiled. She leant into him gently, slowly just touching his lips with hers."You have no idea, " she whispered kissing his mouth. " How much I've ached to kiss you like this."Her tongue found his as she inched herself closer along the step. "We can take this as slow you want Brian, there's no rush this time around." He placed his beer down on the step it wobbled a bit on its base as he reached for Cait. Q ran his fingers through her hair. The feel of her silky smooth tresses flowing through his fingers as their tongues slowly teased each other. They moved closer the kiss warmer, deeper. Cait's hands closed around his neck as he whispered.  
"I don't do slow." He kissed her hard, so hard Cait couldn't breathe for a minute, his tongue deep in her mouth wrapping around hers. His left hand ran up and down the side of her body then down her thigh circling her knee then back up her inner thigh. A light rain began to fall on them but neither noticed. The rain got harder.  
"Maybe we should take this inside." Cait sighed her eyes raking over his waiting to see what he'd do. "C'mon." She said pulled herself up her knees feeling a little wake. Cait reached out her hand and helped him up. Q followed her into the house.


	25. All I need is you.

The key turned smoothly in the lock. Cait turned her heart fluttering in her chest as his eyes met hers. Reaching for her Q's hands went to either side of Cait's face. His thumbs lightly brushed her cheekbones as he cradled her face in his large hands. He pulled her towards him pausing slightly to stare into her eyes. She felt sure her knees would go from under her at any moment. Cait's hands went around his neck as their open mouths met. He kissed her hard as their tongues found each other again. All his misgivings melted away in the heat of the kiss. Their bodies were tight together as their tongues circled each other.  
"Oh God." Cait gasped her mouth against his.  
"I know." He whispered back.  
Q hooked his fingers into the top of the smocked bodice of Cait's dress and pulled it quickly down over her breasts. The dress was damp from the rain her skin wet and slippery. He worked his fingers over her wet nipples kissing her deeply his tongue taunting hers before he moved his attention from her mouth down her throat to her breasts. Cait drew her hands from his neck to dig her nails into his shoulders, head back. Arching her back against him, she snaked her hands back up through his damp hair. His tongue worked her nipple as he licked and flicked it, getting it wetter, harder.She rocked her hips against him feeling his cock through his jeans pushing against her. Her nipples were like rocks, wet from the rain, his tongue, his mouth.  
"I want you so badly right now." Cait's voice rasped.  
"The feeling is so defiantly mutual Cait." She didn't want him to stop but knew that the shared entrance to the two apartments wasn't the best place to get down and dirty with him. Somehow Cait managed to regain enough composure to lead him out of the hall to her room. 

Cait pulled her dress over her head and flung it on the floor where Q's t-shirt landed on top of it moments later. Her knickers were off as she reached for his belt. His body jerked back and fourth as she tugged at his belt pulling it open. Her hands helped him unburden his body from his clothes until they were both naked. Slivers of moonlight pushed through the blind forming shadows over their naked bodies. His hands teased running down her sides as she felt his cock hard against her. They fell on the bed kissing as Cait wrapped her leg around his hip. Q could feel her wet against him as his fingers found her. Cait fell gently back yielding to him as his fingers slid slowly inside her. She was so wet, and he pushed his fingers into her sopping wet entrance. Her hips rocked to meet his movements as he slid in and out of her. He watched her eyes as she squeezed them shut her lashes fluttering as a sigh escaped from her parted lips. His wet fingers opened her; Q teased her clit then back inside as she shuddered deep inside herself. Her sighing was turning to moaning, moaning turning to rasping.  
"Faster." Cait breathed. He slid his fingers a little faster her legs opening more as he explored her getting a steady rhythm going.  
"Oh yeah, fuck yeah," she said.  
"Look at me Cait, I want to see you when you come." She opened her eyes to stare into the deep dark pools that were his eyes. Faster, harder he pumped his fingers until she came. Moaning her breath caught ragged in her throat. She rode the wave of her orgasm cresting and falling it kept going more and more until she lay still with slow shuddering sighs. Q moved over Cait his hips between her legs. His mouth took hers as he kissed her deep, their tongues tied together. His cock slid against her wet core; he was so hard. Q Fumbled for his jeans on the bed. He yanked his wallet roughly out of his pocket and took out the condom. Kneeling back he smoothed it over his cock then positioned his hard member at her entrance and without even trying in one motion he slowly slid deep inside her. The sensation was so overwhelming they both froze neither speaking nor moving. He studied her face intently as the heat and anticipation transformed into satisfied pleasure. Together they relished the feeling of his cock in her warm wet core. They began to move together pushing their hips against each other they moved flowing together their breathing hot and humid mixing in the small space between them. They quickened their pace pushing harder and harder. Cait's hands were on his ass cheeks drawing him into her. Her vision narrowed and pin picks of stars flashed across her closed lids. Her next orgasm consumed her whole body crying out she dug her fingernails into his back. Her muscles clenched tightly around him, and that was all Q needed to send him over the edge.  
"Oh my God Brian."  
"Oh fuck, Cait." Q thrust his cock deep inside her as he pressed hard on her clit. He stayed inside her as panting they fought to catch their breaths. Muscles relaxing their bodies melted into one as Cait lightly traced her fingertips over his back. After a few minutes of them just breathing he pushed himself up on his hands to look down at Cait before he withdrew and rolled off her. Cait closed her eyes as she turned into him leaning against his chest. The thumping of his heart the only thing she could hear.  
"Where's the bathroom?" Q asked pulling himself up.  
"Down the hall," Cait replied contently. Q eased himself to the edge of the bed, then padded across the room as Cait shuffled under the single sheet. He clicked the hall light on and noticed there were two doors along the corridor before the open kitchen door. Hesitating Q was undecided which door was the bathroom. The other was obviously going to be the spare bedroom. He picked the door along the wall that was nearest the kitchen. The light from the hall spilt into the room, and he knew immediately that he'd chosen the wrong door. He pulled the door shut quickly and hastily grabbed for the other. Q disposed of the condom, peed and clicked the light off in the bathroom. He retraced his steps down the hall and rejoined Cait. He slid under the sheet pulling her towards him. Snuggling together Cait rested her head on Q chest as they held each other.  
"Cait."  
"Hum." She replied  
"Do you know there's a naked woman asleep in your spare room?" Cait laughed.  
"Yes, I did know that. What with everything else I completely forgot to mention Dee was staying."  
"Dee? As in fruit loop Dee?"  
"Dee's not a fruit loop Brian. She's had a shitty few weeks just lately. She's come over for a holiday."  
"Nice ass, though." He chuckled storing that piece of information in his tired brain.  
"I'll tell her that."  
"Go right ahead Cait, it was meant as a compliment, I always appreciate a nice ass." Trailing his fingertips over her side he reached his hand around the base of her spine to cup his hand smoothly around her ass cheek. "Especially one as tight, firm and sexy as your's Nurse Cait."  
"Thank you." Cait laughed into his shoulder ." It's nice to know my ass is appreciated."  
"Your welcome." he yawned. "Although I happen to appreciate all of you Cait not just your ass." Their legs entwined his breath a tickle on her forehead. Cait had one arm between his shoulder and the pillow the other around his back. One hand rested now at the base of Cait's spine Q's other tucked up between their bodies his hand cupping her breast her nipple pressing into his palm. They fell asleep together almost instantly.  
The single sheet was soon cast off. The night being so warm and their body heat so intense. During the night they progressively disentangled themselves from each other. Eventually, they alternated between one laying on their back while the other lay on their side an arm draped over the other.  
Cait woke to find Q close alongside her sound asleep on his back. The early morning light filtered through the window. Cait surveyed his resting, sleeping face. His jaw was slack as his gentle breath whispered on his lips. His hair was messed and untidy, but she resisted the urge to tame it between her fingertips. Instead, something else was demanding the attention of her fingers. Cait's gaze ran over the sparse hair on his chest as her eyes continued travelling past his navel to where his engorged cock lay against his body. Cait was consumed with the overwhelming desire to touch him. She didn't want to wake him up, so she lightly brushed her fingers over the bell head of his cock. It surged against her fingers as she stroked him some more. Cait placed small kisses down his neck and across his collarbone. Her hands splayed against his chest as she kissed over his torso down his stomach and pelvis to his cock. Q felt her warm breath on the head of his cock, but he kept his eyes closed pretending to be asleep. She gently reached out to taste the tip of his cock with her tongue then slid him slowly, so slowly into her mouth. One hand stroked his cock as the other found his balls cupping them, stroking them. A deep moan escaped him, and there was no pretending he was asleep anymore.  
"Oh, Cait that feels so fuckin ' good, faster Cait, faster." Q said his fingers slipping gently into her hair. She lavished his cock with her tongue. Flicking over the velvety soft tip of him then moving her mouth down his shaft to about half way before she drew back up again. Repeating these motions, Cait began to increase her pace. Her eyes locked with Q's as she wrapped her lips around his cock her cheeks slightly withdrawn inwards as she sucked on him. Q was hypnotised by her face as she worked him in and out of her mouth finding just the right rhythm. His eyes closed as he focused on the sensation of her mouth on him as his whole world became his cock. Q bit hard on his lip, he felt like his entire body was about to explode. It felt like he was coming from his toes. Q was close now so very close as her wet mouth moved faster and faster up and down his hard cock. She could feel him trembling, feel him coming as his grip on her hair became tighter and she worked him with a feverish frantic pace.  
"Holy fuck Cait!" He gasped as he pumped streams of cum down her throat. She sucked him empty, clean until he was utterly spent. She crawled up his body straddling him around the waist. Q's hands smoothed up her calves and thighs as he dug his nails into the flesh of her ass cheeks. He could feel her wetness on his chest collecting on his hair.  
"Let me taste you Cait." Q said as Cait's eyes fixed on his killer smile. Shuffling up Cait positioned herself over his face. She moaned as her wetness connected with his mouth.The tip of his tongue reached for her flicking back and forth. His tongue licked over her wet slit in long deliberate strokes. His nose nudged her clit as Cait moaned above him. Q started nibbling her folds then kissing he took the fleshy folds into his mouth sucking hard. Shockwaves of pleasure pulsed through Cait as his tongue found her clit. It felt like he'd touched a raw exposed nerve as he flicked his tongue against her nub. She moaned grasping, kneading her own breasts pinching at her nipples. Q plunged his tongue deep inside her, tasting her as he slowly moved his hand up beside his mouth. He slipped a finger inside Cait, then another as her breathing became irregular. His tongue went back to work on her clit.  
"Don't stop. Don't. Fuckin'. Stop. " Cait was on the precipice as Q growled into Cait's soaking wet folds. She clamped his head between her thighs as her hips convulsed.  
"Oh God yes, make me come." Cait panted grinding herself into his face. She was close, very close. His fingers moved more furiously inside her against her G-spot. The orgasm was building growing fast Cait could feel it as she rocked hard against his mouth. She felt herself coming, gushing over his face as her muscles wrapped tight around his fingers.  
"Yes. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God!"Cait struggled for breath riding out the waves of pleasure no strength left. She slid herself down his body.  
"Fuck, I needed that so much." She said through laboured breaths. He held her in his arms their naked bodies pressed together. Q gently stroked her hair as Cait looked up at him. She traced her fingertips over his lips her cum on his mouth. She wiped his lips and gave him a little kiss tasting herself on him. They lay together quietly as Cait settled her face against his chest.  
"I wish we could stay like this forever" She didn't mean to say the words out loud and held her breath slightly as she burrowed her face further into his chest inhaling his musky scent. Q kissed the top of her head smelling the faint trace of shampoo on her hair as he growled contently deep in his throat. 

They drifted off together into a light sleep. Q was woken from this sleep by a rough tongue licking at his face. Opening his eyes, he found he was looking straight into Jimmy ' s intense cat stare.  
"Hey, fella, which one are you?" He asked as the cat continued to stare his wide shining yellows eyes at Q. Cait raised her head slightly squinting from the light that poured over them.  
"Jimmy, that's Jimmy." She answered. "Chad's somewhere around too. Jimmy ' s too noisy. He's come to suss you out, Chad ' ll wait for you to go to him."  
"Hey, Jimmy remember me? "He smoothed his fingers around Jimmy ' s round face tickling him under his chin.  
" I need a shower." Stated Cait as she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She could see the bedroom door was slightly open. That was how Jimmy had got in, but more importantly, she could hear Dee in the hall. Cait pulled a vest top on over her head and rummaged around in her draw for a pair if knickers. She quickly yanked them up her legs as she stood in front of her bedroom door. She sneaked her head around the door as the door to the bathroom flew open, and Dee emerged.  
"Jimmy ' s taken a shit in the bath again!" Dee exclaimed. Her feet and legs were bare. She wore an oversized shirt and a pair of bright yellow rubber gloves. Between her gloved thumb and forefinger, she swung a tied up plastic bag. "He did it last night too. Pity cats can't read, or I'd put up signs. 'Please use the grit tray provided and not the bleedin' bath!' " Dee eyed Cait. " You okay? You're looking a bit flushed this morning Cait. You have a nice time last night?" Dee inquired raising her eyebrow slightly.  
"Erh, yeah it was good." Cait smiled. Q was stood next to her now.  
"Just good?" He mouthed. Quickly she clamped her hand over his mouth before he could say anything too loudly. She watched Dee walk towards the kitchen. She had to walk through the kitchen and closed over patio to get to the bins in the back yard. Cait edged along the hall and listened as she heard the soft swish of the patio door. Cait bundled Q into the bathroom and switched on the shower. They showered together.

Dee had felt out of sorts after the Skype conversation with the girls. Hannah was full of plans for when school started, how her driving lessons were going and how she was looking forward to Kerry moving in. Kerry and Kristen had moaned about each other for the first five minutes before talking nonstop about their imminent moves. Dee had taken a long hot bath as she'd pushed down the growing feeling of regret at being so far away from them. Moving out of home was such a big step Dee was feeling sorry that she wasn't there. Dee had lain naked on the bed after her bath with every intention of getting under the covers, but she had never made it. She'd slipped into a deep, undisturbed sleep.  
Dee's eyes scanned the vast blue early morning summer sky. She'd been awake way before the new day's golden rays had crept through the bedroom blind.  
Dee had woken slightly disorientated to find herself naked on top of the covers until she remembered falling asleep straight after her bath. She'd slept so soundly the world could have come to an end, and Dee would have known nothing till it was all over. She was wide awake and knew she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. Heading for the kitchen Dee had made herself a coffee and had taken it through the closed over patio into the back garden. Sitting on the metal steps leading down to the gravelled patio area Dee waited for the sunrise to claim the day. She'd sipped the coffee in the clear still morning. The long morning shadows had melted away as the spreading pink sunrise flooded the back garden.  
She'd finished her coffee and had headed back inside. She'd turfed Jimmy out of the tub chair and putting her headphones in had listened to some music. Jimmy had sauntered out of the room throwing her a disgusted look over his feline back. Chad wasn't bothered, though. He didn't move from his settled position on the sofa his legs tucked under him like a chicken as his yellow eyes regarded Dee without a care. Going to the bathroom she'd spied Jimmy slinking his way out of the bathroom; she'd soon found out why he'd been in the bathroom. Dee just caught sight of his tail disappearing around the edge of Cait's bedroom door as Dee's eyes turned to slits and she pursed her lips. She felt sure he was doing it on purpose as she once again retrieved the yellow rubber gloves and a carrier bag from the cupboard.  
Now she stood finishing her second coffee of the morning as Jimmy and Chad circled around her feet. They'd not been brave enough yet to venture down the steps into the back yard. Their food bowls were positioned on the kitchen floor, the litter tray by the sliding patio door that led out into the garden. Not like Jimmy was making much use of it at the moment, though. Dee heard the shower turn off. She padded barefoot through the kitchen and stood with her back against the kitchen doorjamb her eyes roaming along the floor as she waited for the bathroom door to open.. The sharpe noise of the bolt sliding across made Dee's eyes shoot up expectantly. The door opened a little as Cait's face appeared in the gap. Her gaze was cautious as they locked on Dee's.  
Dee squeezed her lips together to stop herself from smirking as she bent her head down. She swiftly swung her gaze up directly into Cait's face.  
"You want a coffee Cait?" She asked straight faced.  
"Oh Erh yeah sure, thanks, Dee." Dee took one long stride closer to the bathroom door.  
"Does Q wanna tea?" Dee called smiling in self-satisfaction at catching Cait off guard. Dee had seen the red Jeep Wrangler parked outside the house. She'd drawn the curtains wide earlier that morning as bright speckled dots of sunlight had tried to filter their way into the living room. For a long moment, she'd just stared at it through the window as the implications of what this meant had rushed through her brain.

The metal fork caught the plate as Dee pushed the sliced french toast around the plate distractedly. She'd thought she was hungry but having got half way through her breakfast her appetite had deserted her. Cait sat next to her, Q across from Cait in the Bath Beach Diner. It had been Q's idea to treat them to breakfast. She felt she should have really let Cait and Q come without her. Cait had stared wide-eyed at Dee, her hazel eyes shining brightly, brimming over with excitement and Dee didn't have the heart to decline the offer and stay behind. Q and Cait were totally immersed in each other, talking together between mouthfuls of food as Dee reached for her coffee. The tan, brown vinyl seating had already absorbed enough early morning heat to feel warm to the touch. Dee was thankful she wasn't wearing shorts like Cait. She could tell from the way Cait kept squirming that the backs of her thighs were sticking to the seating. Dee watched people walking pasted the diner. Her eyes wandered over the road coming to rest on the Pharmacy the other side of the road. She lost herself watching different people go in and out and wasn't even aware of Q leaving till she saw him on the sidewalk.  
"Earth to Dee," Cait said waving her hand in front of Dee's face. " You were miles away there."  
"Sorry." Dee smiled her eyes settling on the remains of her coffee. "Just thinking that's all. Q not sticking around?"  
"We're gonna meet up later. Anyway, I wouldn't ditch you, Dee, if that's what you were thinking."  
"No, that's not what I was thinking," Dee replied. "Where're you taking me today Cait?" she asked changing the subject. She didn't want Cait to ask her what she was thinking.

Outside on the sidewalk Q pulled his phone out of his pocket. He flicked through numerous different texts from Joe, Murr and Sal. All the texts were along the same line. Was he okay, and had Cait caught up with him. He answered them all with the same short and straight to the point message. He typed out an extra text to Sal.  
Best get your mom a lotto ticket Sal. He attached the photo he'd quickly snapped of Dee without her knowing and sent that with the message to Sal.


	26. Something on your mind.

Sal cringed as his eyes flicking up into the rearview mirror at the two girls sat in the back seat of his car. They each had headphones in, and were singing along to two entirely different tracks. It wouldn't have been so bad if only he could have discerned exactly what they were singing along too, but he couldn't and it was driving him quietly insane.  
He'd picked the girls up from his sisters at eight that morning. Thankfully they'd been sitting patiently, both ready, waiting for him. They'd set off on the seventy-minute drive to New Hope Pennsylvania less than ten minutes after Sal had pulled up at his sister's house. Glancing at the time, Sal knew he'd got another thirty minutes of driving before he reached their destination. Sal didn't think he could stand another three minutes let alone thirty of the two girls out of tune singing. Reaching for the radio he hurriedly found the first half way decent radio station playing music. Sal had contemplated leaving the radio on his first hit. But that was news and sport, and he'd thought better of it. Trying to listen to a conversation on the radio with the girls whiny singing in the background would have fried his brain. The radio station was playing a variety of music from the 60's to the 90's. Sal cranked the volume up a little louder when they hit a spurt of continuous 90's tracks a self-satisfied smirk playing at the corners of his mouth as the radio drowned out the girls singing.  
Sal wound down the window slightly. Just enough to cool down the inside of the car but not enough to mess his hair. As the miles rolled by he found himself thinking about Roz. After month's of slowly coming around to the fact he was going to be a father the realisation, he wasn't was proving a bitter pill to swallow. He should have been relieved, his close family as well as his friends said so, and often too for that matter. He gave them all the impression he felt the same way, and to some extent he did, but there was this niggling feeling deep in the pit of his stomach that Sal just couldn't quite shake. It had felt weird to think of himself as a father. Becoming a dad was something that happened to other people, to adults. The baby's arrival had made Sal question his immortality. When the child turned 20, he'd be 60. Would he think of Sal as an old man? Be embarrassed by the way he dressed or spoke rolling his eyes in discomfort at Sal. Would their only communication be a series of non-committal grunts? Or would they have become friends, drinking beer together while Sal gave him girlfriend advice? Roz telling him that the child wasn't his was like a slap in the face. The future he'd pictured in his mind's eye snatched away before it had even started.  
He hadn't divulged the whole conversation he'd had with Roz three weeks previously to Brian, but Roz had been brutally honest, and he'd secretly applauded her for it. He knew Roz hadn't found it easy to tell him face to face that the baby wasn't his. Before she'd left she'd admitted to Sal that the child's dad was back on the scene and she had a decision to make. He'd soon found out what she meant by that a week later.  
He was just on his way out of the door precisely a week later when he'd found Roz slowly climbing the few steps up to his porch.  
"Can I talk to you for a minute Sal?" She'd asked her light blue eyes flicking over Sal's face.  
"I was just on my way out; Roz can't it wait?" Sal had asked slightly surprised to find her on his porch.  
"No, I need to know something, Sal." Sighing he'd stepped back into his hall as Roz followed him in. Roz had assessed Sal with razor sharp precision in her gaze. She'd ran her hands nervously up and down the thighs of her cropped jeans the frayed edge tickling slightly against the back of her knees.  
"What's up, Roz? What questions so important you gotta ask me now, when I'm half way out the door?" Sal had asked dissatisfaction at being held up evident as he'd swung his arms at his sides.  
"I can't ask you it's not a question."  
"Well, I'm totally lost now, babe."  
"It's more of a feeling than a question Sal." Roz had caught him then by the wrists to stop his hands swinging. She'd gently trailed her fingertips lightly up his arms till her hands had rested on his shoulders. She'd felt the pulse in his neck as her hand had slipped around to play in his hair. Her breasts were pushed into his chest. Sal had reached covering his hand over hers on his shoulder. His fingers gripped hers tightly.  
"What ya doing Roz?" Sal had asked his eyes boring into hers intently. His gaze alert, searching for an answer his voice barely above a whisper.  
"Kissing you, you dope." Roz's voice had quivered as she'd tried to keep her breathing steady. She'd stared into his eyes for a second before touching her lips to his. The kiss was soft, tentative; she was testing him for a response unsure of how he'd react not wanting to commit herself before she was ready.  
"Roz I can't do this......Stop please Roz.....I....."  
"Sal shush." She'd said her breath hot against his lips. "Just go with the flow Sal. Let yourself go, feel the moment ." Roz's heart had beat faster as their lips had come together again opening a little this time. Roz had waited hoping for the long missing spark. Faltering Roz had taken a deep shuddering breath gently pulling herself away from Sal before shooting him a broad sorry smile.  
"I miss you Sal, but it's not the same is it?" She'd whispered a slight tremor in her voice as Sal had pulled his gaze up from the floor to stare straight into Roz's overly shiny eyes. She'd smoothed her hands away from off his shoulder and around his neck. Since the baby shower, Roz had convinced herself things were on the up and up between her and Sal. Having Eric back in her life had changed things, though. His words to her were stuck in her head on a loop; they were the reason she'd sort Sal out. She'd needed to know. It hadn't happened. That tingly, goosebumpy feeling spreading through her body just didn't happen. Kissing Sal had been her way of desperately reaching out trying to hold on to some emotion but she'd not found any. The spark was gone.  
"I'm sorry Roz, I just don't feel that way anymore."  
"I know me too. We can still be friends though can't we Sal? " She'd ventured. Her mom had made Roz realise she was being unfair to Sal and Ethan. After she'd told Sal the baby wasn't his, her mom had driven her to the doctors. She'd had a long, frank talk with her doctor about how she was feeling. She'd been slightly scared of taking the meds the doctor had prescribed, to begin with. The first few days she'd felt a bit high everything had felt fuzzy and she'd felt queasy. Now though that feeling had started to fade and she was actually feeling a connection with Ethan that she hadn't felt before.  
"Friends."Sal had agreed. He liked Roz, but he knew as well as she did that the spark just wasn't there anymore and it was time to move on. They'd fallen into a tight hug then. "You so need a girlfriend though Sal." Roz had whispered into his ear. She'd decided there and then she was going to make that her mission.

Swinging a left Sal turned onto Bridge Street Lambertville heading for the bridge that would take him over the Delaware River leaving New Jersey behind him as he headed over into Pennsylvania and New Hope. The girls had discarded the headphones now. They'd been to New Hope before with Sal. Recognition shone brightly in their eyes as they stared out of the car window. They knew they were close to their destination now. The time before last when they'd come with Sal, they'd parked up in Lambertville and crossed over the Delaware on foot. Madison had nearly given Sal a heart attack that day. Hanging herself over the green railings on the footpath side of the bridge, she'd wanted to get a better view of a congregation of turtles swimming across the river. Sal had grabbed her around the waist and forcefully yanked her away from the edge. Visions of her falling in the river had flashed through his mind as he'd chastised her on the bridge his voice raising as he fought to control himself. He'd melted though when he'd caught sight of Madison's trembling lip. He'd hugged her tightly then, Leah joining in as they'd agreed that they wouldn't let the incident spoil the trip. It hadn't, and all three had still had fun. But on the walk back Sal had made both girls walk on the inside. He'd hurried the girls along when they'd reached the part of the bridge that the swallows liked to gather in. He'd kept one eye on the birds until they were safely out of bird poo range.  
Sal had parked up in the car park of the New Hope and Ivyland Railroad. It was only a short walk from there to get onto the canal tow path. Madison and Leah skipped off in front. They knew exactly where they were heading as Sal walked behind. The early morning sunlight made dappled patterns on the path and duckweed covered canal. The trees meet over his head like a green canopied tunnel letting slight golden slivers of sunlight through to dance on the flat still canal. Two summers ago he'd walked this same stretch of the canal with Roz. Their relationship had been new, and they'd walked hand in hand and had stopped to kiss as two dragonflies had darted after each other to and fro across the still canal. Sal stood for a moment as he caught the flutter of wings out of the corner of his eye. Turning his gaze, Sal watched the single dragonfly it's faintly gossamer wings like lace as it hovered over the bullrushes of the canal. The water reflected the dappled morning light as the dragonfly flew zig-zagging away from where Sal stood to chase after it's prey.  
His green eyes scanned over the large green leaves of the water lily plants until the dragonfly disappeared from his view. The girls were standing waiting for him further up the path waving their arms in the air calling for him to hurry up. So Sal quickened his pace to catch up with them. They were heading for their favourite breakfast spot. Hunger pangs had been creeping up on Sal for the past half an hour. As he neared the girls, he felt his insides protest their emptiness. Sal hurried them along off the canal and onto the road there destination just a short walk away.  
Sitting outside on the decked terrace at the back of The Blue Moose Sal and the girls sat sated from their meals empty plates in front of each of them. Madison and Leah sipped fruit juice, while Sal had a coffee. He took a quick sip of the piping hot coffee the aroma curling up his nose. His mind wandered back to the time he was in New Hope with Roz. So much had changed since then. Sal knew that change was the only thing that you could count on happening in your life, nothing ever stayed the same. He'd been content over the past few months to live his life on the surface not wanting to face his deeper feelings. It was time to look deeper within himself now though and decided exactly what he wanted.  
Sal took a long deep drink of his coffee watching the girls over the brim as they giggled together. The waitress had come over to clear away their plates as Sal dug his phone out of his pocket. Two messages from Q.  
Hey, Guys, I'm okay. Cait is too. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. The waitress clattered the plates together. Sal's fingers tightened around the handle of the coffee as he raised it to his lips again. Taking another deep mouthful, Sal swiped up to Q's next message and promptly snorted coffee down his nose.  
"Erh that's gross Uncle Sal." exclaimed Madison eyeing him with disdain as he swiped the back of his hand across his upper lip.  
"Here." The waitress smiled handing him a packet of tissues from her apron pocket. Taking a tissue, he made to pass the packet back, but she declined her head. "Keep 'em. I've got some more in my bag inside." She smiled and turned away headed across the decking. Sal watched her push against the door with her back; hands clenched tightly around the stacked plates she held. The door swung closed behind her as Sal's eyes travelled back to his phone. 

 

"And exactly why are you telling me this Cait?" Dee asked Cait eyeing her friend over her shoulder. Cait stopped her attention drawn down into the wooden display case on the table in front of her. She began to flick through the trashy pieces of costume jewellery. She wasn't paying any attention to what she was looking at, though. She plonked a gaudy pair of earrings back into the tray and swung her gaze up at Dee.  
"Just thought you might be interested, that's all." Cait pushed her sunglasses up onto her head as she straightened up to look at her friend. Dee's eyes roamed over the skyline across the river as Dee moved away from Cait onto the next stall. Together they were having a leisurely browse around the different vendors of furniture, vintage clothing, collectables and antiques of the Saturday Brooklyn Flea. They were moving their way through art and crafts stalls now as Dee walked ahead of Cait.  
"So, Sal's not the daddy, and you think I might be interested in that piece of information because.......?"  
"Because deep down you care, you know you do."  
"Because, deep down Sal is the last thing on my mind right now." She crouched down having a quick flick through a cardboard box underneath the next vendor's table. It was a vain attempt not to look at Cait. She knew Cait was right but didn't want to admit it to herself let alone to Cait.  
"Your lying." Cait sing songed into her ear as she crouched down on her hunkers next to Dee. Standing together, Dee stared straight into Cait's eyes.  
"It's different for you. New York is your home now," She said crossing her arms. "A nice place to live, a job potentially on the horizon. Nothing is stopping you having a second chance with Q, and that's good Cait. I'm glad by some strange quirk of fate you've got another shot at things; I'm happy for you, but I'm not you, and it's different for me. Two weeks and four days and I'll be going back home. I let myself get too deep before, I got caught up in the moment, it's not going to happen again. I'm on holiday, visiting you I don't need the hassle. Just leave it Cait."  
"You know that he'll know you're in the city by now." Dee unscrewed the cap off the water bottle and took a long slow swig. Cait waited. Dee didn't meet her eye as she took another mouthful of water. Inhaling deeply through her nose, Dee smiled turning to Cait.  
"I smell cinnamon Cait. "Dee said turning on the spot for a moment before her eyes settled on the Smorgasbord area of the flea. She marched off in the direction of the bright awnings of the food stalls. Cait hurried to catch up with Dee. She slipped her arm smoothly through her friends and smiled at her.  
"I know what you did just then Dee. Change the subject as much as you like, but it's not gonna go away ya know."  
Dee chose to ignore Cait. Her eyes were glued on the bobbing heads of the crowd in front of them her gaze turned fuzzy slightly as she tried her hardest not to think of Sal. Trouble was Dee had thought about hardly anything else since she'd clapped eyes on Q's jeep that morning. Who was she trying to kid? Certainly not Cait that was for sure. She could protest as much as she wanted that she 'didn't care' but Dee knew Cait wasn't fooled by her words. Was she trying to convince herself she didn't care? Dee reasoned if she said it to herself enough times then it would be true, wouldn't it?  
Dee thought back to the last time she'd seen him. The cold January air biting against her cheeks as she'd watched the cab pull away from the hotel car park. He'd turned to give her one last glance from the small cab window his gorgeous green eyes locking on hers for the merest of seconds before the cab had turned away and he'd gone. She'd fantasised many times about the way they could come together again never believing that the opportunity would ever arise. Telling herself, she didn't care wasn't working. She could feel the small beginnings of the all too familiar fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

Sal and the girls had spent the rest of the day ambling around the streets of New Hope. They'd sauntered between the many commercial and eccentric shops, leisurely browsing the galleries and antique dealers as they strolled through the charming, quiet streets of the town. Stopping midway through the afternoon, they'd headed for ice cream and waffles at Nina's.  
Sitting in a window seat of Nina's the girls and Sal had people watched as they'd eaten. Sal dug his phone out of his pocket and settled his eyes on the image of Dee once again. So many unanswered questions buzzed through his brain, he desperately wanted to call Q and pump him for information. Stealing a glance at Madison he caught the scowl she shot his way as her eyebrows knitted over her eyes.  
"You promised Uncle Sal. You pinky promised not to be constantly on your phone while we were here."  
"Twice Madison. That's all, just twice. That's not constantly."  
"Told you he couldn't do it. " Smirked Leah through a mouth full of chocolate ice - cream. It dribbled down her chin, and she tried to lick it with the tip of her tongue but missed. Wiping her chin with the heel of her hand, she licked the ice cream off. Her tongue was slurping noisily as she did it.  
"Do you have to do that Leah? " Sal asked his face blanching slightly at the way her chocolate covered tongue ran over her palm. Leah just laughed at him as Madison joined in. Madison rammed her spoon into her ice - cream, so it was sticking straight up and proceeded to eat the cold, creamy caramel with its sprinkle of chocolate chips with the tip of her finger.  
"Stop that right now Madison," yourselfsSal said hardly daring to look at her as she sucked the ice cream from her finger.  
"No phone, then we'll stop. " Madison said grinning at Sal. She exchanged a conspiratorial smirk with Leah as her sister gave Sal a chocolate covered toothy grin. Sal grimaced as he pushed his phone back into his pocket. Taking out the packet of tissues from earlier he passed one to each of the girls.  
"Clean yourselves up, and stop embarrassing me." His eyes darted around the other tourists sitting eating ice - cream and waffles. They weren't paying any attention to them, but he couldn't help feeling they were silently judging him.  
The drive back home had been a quieter affair than the outward journey that morning. Sal didn't need the radio on to drown out the girls singing they were too busy sleeping to be singing this time around.  
His mind was wandering again. So much time had passed since the last time he'd seen Dee. Often he'd thought of the time they'd been together in London. In his mind, he could see her that last morning, back pressed up against the rough cold bricks of the hotel. The memory of that last kiss sent shivers down his spine as he recalled the feel of her hot breath on his lips as their mouths had come together as they'd kissed that last slow lingering kiss.  
Sal turned the steering wheel as he pulled up in front of his house. Waking up, Madison bounded out of the car first closely followed by Leah. They seemed to have got their second wind from the short sleep and rushed up Sal's porch steps waiting for him to let them in. Sal's eyes felt heavy with fatigue as he slid his key into the lock to open the door. Closing it behind himself, he leant his back into it and exhaled a long deep breath. He could tell by the animated way Madison was talking to Leah as she took her shoes off that it was going to be a long night. He decided to take a shower. Leaving the girls playing video games in the living room he headed upstairs.  
The hot steam from the shower filled the room. Sal let the hot steamy water relax every muscle in his tired body as he washed his hair. The water and soapy suds cascaded over his body pooling at his feet to swill down the drain. He lost himself for a moment, caught up in the feeling of the water on his body as he stood fully under the shower head. Sal tipped his head back; water hit his face full on as he closed his eyes. Turning the shower off, he began to dry himself. Stilling his movements for a moment, he cocked an ear listening through the shut bathroom door. He was sure he could hear voices in the hall. Sal wrapped a towel around his middle and poked his head out the bathroom door just as Madison rounded the top of the stairs.  
"Who's here Maddy? " He asked.  
"Auntie Roz, oh, er sorry Uncle Sal. It's Roz; she says she needs to talk to you."  
"Tell her I'll be down in ten please." He called after Madison as she turned galloping back down the stairs. Hurrying to his bedroom, Sal wondered why Roz was here. Quickly finishing drying himself he put on clean boxers and socks, pulled a clean t-shirt over his head and yanked on a pair of sweat pants then he dragged a comb through his hair before he headed downstairs.  
Roz's gaze followed Sal's decent down the stairs from where she stood in the hall. She pushed the Bugaboo stroller to and fro as Sal stepped off the last step to lock eyes with her.  
"Can I see the baby?" Madison asked dancing from one leg to the other in the hall. Her eyes were wide as her eyes practically begged Roz. She approached the bassinet and stuck her head close into the canopy. "Ow, he's so cute, can I hold him?" She asked turning a pleading glance in Roz's direction.  
"No, not now Madison. He's sleeping see." Roz smiled weakly giving the stroller a gentle push. "Maybe another time when he's awake. Come on, come away Madison, you don't want to wake him up now do you?" Madison pulled her head out of the canopy her eyes still intently locked on the sleeping child. She shrugged her shoulders silently as Sal came up behind her. He rested his hands on her shoulders and steered her away from Roz and the baby back towards the open living room door.  
"Why don't you get back to whatever you're playing with Leah". Reluctantly Madison gave Roz and Sal a sulky glare before she shut the door behind herself.  
"So, what's the unexpected visit in aid of Roz?" He asked. Sal's gaze travelled over Roz as he crossed his arms his eyes scrutinising her the whole time. She wore a pretty pale yellow summer dress a delicate blue pattern speckled over the top and across the capped sleeves. Her hair sat in soft curls on her shoulders the sides clipped back from her face. She had a hint of make-up on, and Sal caught the delicate scent on her that he always associated with Roz. There was no tired, frazzled new mom look about Roz this evening. " Going somewhere?" Sal asked his gaze came to rest on her feet enclosed in the slingbacks she wore.  
"Why do ya ask?"  
"'Cause you look like your going on a date Roz."  
"Do I? I er no, this dress is as old as the hills, I just fancied a change." She swung her gaze up sighing deeply. "Okay, I'm sprung. " Her shoulders slumped slightly. "I need a babysitter."  
"No." Sal's eyes shot up widening as he stepped away from Roz.  
"Please, Sal. I forgot this weekend is mom's once a month ladies night, and nobody else can do it at such short notice on a Saturday night. Come on Sal, Madison and Leah are already staying over one more won't make much difference."  
"You wanna bet on that? He's a baby Roz; they don't do nothin' but shit and cry."  
"But Sal, Eric taking me out to dinner, the tables booked and everything." Roz was pushing the stroller to, and fro as her eyes swooped across the pristinely polished wooden flooring, then skimmed over the dust free skirting boards. Her gaze took in the shoes all neatly lined up by the side of the door. The living room door flew open at that moment causing both Roz and Sal to turn their gaze towards the door.  
"I'm not playing with you anymore your cheating!" Leah stood framed in the open doorway the living room door knob in her hand. "I was winning, and you cheated!"  
"Shut up Leah! I wasn't cheating, you weren't winning either, you can't even play the game properly 'cause you're a baby."  
"I am not a baby! Uncle Sal, tell Madison I'm not a baby."  
"You are so, Leah you're a cry baby." Roz turned her gaze to Sal, as Madison could be heard wailing fake baby cries. Leah ' s grip tightened on the door handle.  
"I hate you, Madison," She screamed flying back into the living room.  
"Think you've got a situation on your hands there Sal. Best go and separate them before it get's violent." Sal hesitated slightly his eyes staring at Roz. "Hurry up, or they'll have trashed your living room before you know it." Something clattered against the living room door as Sal dived for the door knob.  
"Don't you dare leave Roz, we aren't done yet."  
"I don't know how long the cab's gonna hang around outside Sal; I really need an answer now."  
"I ain't babysitting your kid Roz."  
"But Sal he's sleeping, look see, he'll be no trouble honest. Everything he needs is in the bag Sal."  
" But he doesn't come with a manual does he Roz? There isn't an A to Z of looking after a baby in his bag is there? Which one of you threw that?" Sal exclaimed sticking his head around the living room door while trying to keep one eye on Roz. Sal scooped down to retrieve the remote from behind the door. He bent to scoop up the batteries that lay on the floor his eyes locking on where Madison lay on the floor Leah straddling her chest as they flayed their hands at each other.  
"You fight like a baby!" Madison laughed.  
"You fight like a bitch!" Shrieked Leah. Roz took the opportunity of Sal's distractedness to head for the door.  
"Now you be good for Sal, Ethan mommy's got a date with a large glass of red or two. Mommy needs some adult time with daddy."Roz sighed as she cast one last long look at her sleeping son. "Mommy needs this Ethan." Roz was so glad she'd been to see the doctor. She was actually feeling like her old self like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was seeing things more clearly again and really seeing her son for the first time. Roz was feeling that she could now really enjoy being a mom. She moved towards the door and swiftly turned the key, the door unlocked in her fingers with a gentle click.  
Sal's face fell as he came into the hall and found Roz gone. Pulling his front door open quickly he caught her half way along the path heading for the waiting cab.  
"He'll want a feed in a couple of hours Sal the bottles in his bag." She turned to give him a wave as she slid herself into the back seat of the waiting cab.  
"Roz. Just wait up Roz, you can't just leave like this, Roz!" Sal watched the cab pull away. His eyes swung around to his open door just as he heard the first faint cries as Ethan began to wake up.


	27. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

It felt to Sal like everyone had just fallen off the face of the earth. He stood in his hall pushing the stroller to and fro as he scrolled through his contacts on his phone. He soon found out fairly quickly that he'd picked the wrong Saturday night to try and get in touch with anyone. From his mom to his sisters straight through to his dad they'd all made plans and had gone out. He'd tried persuading his mom that it was an emergency, but she'd just laughed. Babysitting wasn't an emergency, and she wasn't giving up her pre-arranged night out to change dirty diapers with him.  
He was slowly beginning to lose hope. Ethan's cries were getting slightly more fraught, the motion of the stroller doing nothing to placate him. Everyone he tried calling either didn't answer or were on their way out or were out. This conversation turned into a shouting match as he tried to get his situation across over the thumping beat of a night club in the background.  
Murr, he didn't even try calling, he would have been as near as useless. Sal had called Joe. Eventually, Joe had answered just before Sal had thought of ending the call. The relief that Joe had picked up ebbed through his body as his muscles relaxed. Joe would know what to do. He half hoped he could talk Joe into getting Betsy to come over and take care of Ethan. The relief soon froze in his veins when he caught the slight edge in Joe's tone.  
"If I'd a known your were starting a baby creche in the evenings Sal I would 'ave brought Milana over. Have you checked his diaper?"  
"No, why you don't think he's done a shit do you? Oh my god!" He gasped. " I can't look; I'm gagging just thinking about it."  
"Sal, why don't you grow a pair and check to see if he's sitting with his in shit!"  
"I can't Joe. Please, can't you or Betsy come over and help me?"  
"Sal, I'm sorry to have ta do this to ya bud but no. Betsy and I are in the middle of something."  
"What Joe? What's more important than helping your friend out of twenty - seven years? Does our friendship mean nothing to you?"  
"We're practising."  
"Practising for what Joe?"  
"Practising at making babies you dope and your putting me off! I'm hanging up now Sal....."  
"No Joe, Joey, please Joe, Joe!"  
"Enjoy the rest of your evening Sal." With that, Joe promptly hung up. Sal stared at the phone in his hand. He couldn't quite believe Joe had hung up on him.  
Folding the canopy down on the stroller, Sal peered in at Ethan. His whole head had taken on the colour of a overripe tomato. His eyes were screwed tight shut, but there were no tears. Sal could see right down Ethan ' s throat right back to the dangling thing at the back of his throat. Cautiously Sal reached one hand around Ethan's head and neck, the other under his bottom and hips and gently lifted him up. Sal felt terrified. What if he hurt him? He hadn't got a clue what to do a feeling of complete uselessness washed over him.  
"Why does the baby keep crying Uncle Sal?" Asked Madison. He'd managed to separate the girls earlier and get them to agree to watch something on the TV. Now, though, Madison stood in the hall regarding Sal, the remote control in her hand above her head.  
"Give me the remote Madison; I don't wanna watch this anymore." Leah stormed into the hall and made a grab for the remote.  
Sal eyed the girls out of the corner of his eye before flicking his gaze back to the crying baby. He placed Ethan gently back into his stroller and dug his phone out of his sweat pants pocket. His thumb hovered hesitating over Brian's number before his thumb connected with the phone screen.

 

Dee lay sprawled out across Cait's sofa her bare feet dangling over the plush covered sofa arm. She was fresh out of the shower having pulled on a pair of knee length jeans and a vest top. Dee knew Q was on his way over. She felt the blush bloom on her cheeks as she thought of what Cait had told her earlier. Knowing he'd seen her bare arse mortified her.  
Rays of late evening sunshine cast bright checked squares across the dark walnut flooring where Chad lay. He was in the best optimal spot to absorb the fading day's rays. Jimmy was squished between Dee and the sofa. Dee, eyes closed played her fingers around his face feeling his dense fur against her fingertips. Every time her motions stilled Jimmy would give her fingers a little nudge. He really enjoyed being the centre of attention, and once you were showering affection on him, he wasn't going to let you stop in a hurry. The still warm sunlight filtered through her thin eyelids as she heard the front door go. Dee recognised Q's voice out in the hall.  
Dee's eyes stayed shut. She knew he'd come into the living room by the way Jimmy squirmed, pushing his paws into Dee side as he tried to twist around and see who it was. Dee smiled to herself opening an eye to sneak a glance at Q. It seemed that Jimmy didn't think Q was interesting enough for him to move from his comfy position. He greeted her with a simple 'Hey' his tone flat and Dee replied with a 'Hi' in much the same manner. She observed him taking a good look around the room before sitting down in the tub chair furthest away from her.  
Q fished in his pocket to answer his phone just as Cait came into the room.  
"Who is it?" Cait asked Q as she fixed her earring.  
"It's Sal." Q reply as Dee squinted her eyes at Cait to find her friend's hazel eyes staring straight into hers. She closed her eye again quickly and tried to give off an air of calm indifference at the mention of his name.  
"Whoa dude, take it easy.........Yeah, I can hear it, sounds like a crying baby...........She did what?........ Roz left you looking after her kid when she knew you'd already got Madison and Leah over, that suck ' s Sal........I''m at Cait's...........No, we can't come over and help you babysit..........Sal, Cait and I are going out, have you tried your mom?......Calm down Sal........" Dee sneaked her eyes open again and found Cait's intense gaze still focused on her.  
"What?" She mouthed at Cait her eyes searching her face for the answer she really didn't want to see.  
"What's going on?" Cait asked still watching Dee. She swiped a glance at Dee's feet swinging over the sofa arm. Her friend's eyes were closed again, but Cait knew she was listening to every word.  
"Sal's got a bit of a situation at his house. It's three kids and a man on the edge of a nervous breakdown. He wants to know if you'll go over and help him out."  
"Me!" exclaimed Cait turning to Q, a bewildered look in her eye. "I'm an A & E nurse; I'm not in pediatrics. Has he checked his nappy?" Cait asked Q turning her beady eyes back to Dee. "What he needs is someone with experience in that department." Cait directed the sentence straight in Dee's direction. Dee stilled her fingers from running over Jimmy ' s fur and pulled a mocking face at Jimmy knowing Cait could see her. Jimmy just gave Dee's hand another nudge to carry on fussing him.  
"Cait says have you tried checking his diaper, Sal?........Oh come on man, you can do this......Did he? Well, Joe's right you should grow a pair.......Hold up Sal......." Q looked up as Cait crossed over to him.  
"Keep him talking I'll speak to Dee." She mouthed quietly.  
Suddenly Dee felt her right foot grabbed and hoisted into the air. Her eyes shot open focusing on Cait, who stood at the end of the sofa holding onto Dee's foot. One hand was wrapped tightly around her ankle as Cait ran a finger across the soul of her foot.  
"No, Cait," Dee Shrieked biting on her bottom lip to stop the laugh from bursting out. "No Cait, please you know I'm as ticklish as hell."  
"I know." She smirked. "I wish I had a feather right now, but my finger will just have to do." She once again ran a finger across the soul of Dee's foot. Dee squirmed on the sofa helpless against Cait's assault. She was wriggling about trying to stifle her giggles.  
"What ya gonna do Dee? Sit her all night with Jimmy and Chad and the TV for company?" Cait played her fingers along the tops of Dee's toes staring down into her friend's face.  
"Don't forget that bottle in the fridge," Dee squeezed her eyes tight shut another giggle bubbling in her throat. " It's so got my name on it. Now let me go, please." Dee took her glasses off to wipe at her watery eyes.  
"What are you so scared of? " Cait whispered leaning down slightly towards Dee her hand still gripped around her ankle.  
"I'm not scared!" Dee shot back in a hushed tone.  
"Worried then," Cait asked her free hand slipping around to just above Dee's ankle bone.  
"No, Cait not there please." Dee locked eyes with Cait as she hovered her fingers over Dee's ankle bone. Dee Shrieked with laughter as Cait's fingers connected with her sensitive skin. She squirmed on the sofa trying to kick her foot out of Cait's grip. "Stop, stop, okay just stop." Cait's fingers stilled. "What's it gonna look like Cait? Me turning up on his door step. Saying, hey, remember me, Sal, long time no see. This time instead of falling into bed let's spend the night changing nappies and smelling of baby puke together. Seriously Cait, this is so not a good idea, he'll most probably freak out and I'll just end up feeling humiliated." Dee swiped a look at Q over Cait's shoulder. She thought she caught a trace of disapproval gleam in his dark eyes as she focused back on Cait.  
"Oh Dee, you're over thinking things just get your big girl pants on and get over there. Come on Dee help him out as a friend." Cait feathered her fingers along Dee's instep; she wasn't going to give up easily.  
" Okay, okay I give in. " Dee relented letting Cait have her little victory. " Tell him I'll come over okay." Cait realised her foot with a satisfied smile.  
"Works every time," Cait stated with satisfaction.  
Dee cast her a dark look as she slid off the sofa onto the floor. Jimmy jumped down after her and sauntered slowly past where Dee lay on the floor. He shot her a haughty glare over his feline back as he passed her. Dee pulled herself up off the floor as Jimmy mooched away from Dee, over towards Chad. In one smooth bound, he was up sitting on the window sill staring down into the street his tail swishing to and fro.  
"Hold up Sal.......You offering to bail him out?.........." Q asked Dee his dark eyes drilling into her as she moved to the doorway of the lounge. Dee nodded. "What bud? No, Cait isn't coming over, Dee is.......Yeah, Dee......Obviously not Sal, or she wouldn't offer would she?.......Listen dude just get a grip, and we'll be over as soon as." Q ended the call and came to stand next to Cait his dark glare still assessing Dee.  
Dee gave Cait a sharp glare as she turned in the doorway.  
"You call the cab Cait. I'll be ready in a sec, just gotta grab my stuff."  
"There's no need for a cab; I'll drive you. " Dee turned to look at Q meeting his unrelenting stare with her eyes.  
"It's okay, thanks, all the same, a cab ' ll be just fine. I don't want to put you out."  
"It's no trouble. " Dee's eyes locked fixedly on Q's as they weighed each other up.  
"Okay." Dee relented shrugging and turning continued down the hall. "I'll be ready in five," Dee called.Cait shrugged her shoulders at Q and followed Dee.

Shutting her bedroom door Dee reached for her hairbrush. She swept her dark brown hair up into a ponytail securing it with a bobble. She was slipping her feet into a pair of white pumps when Cait opened the door.  
"Do you have a problem with Brian?" Cait thought she'd better just come right out and say it.  
"No, 'cause not," Dee assured her as she slipped her arms into the sleeves of a simple blue collarless cotton shirt. "I just don't think he likes me very much that's all."  
"He likes your arse. " Cait smirked her eyes glittering with mischief.  
"Please, can you never, ever, ever mention that again. The fact he's seen my bare arse makes me feel more and more mortified every time I think about it." Dee could feel her cheeks warming just talking about it. " What I mean is, we never had much to say to each other in London he just seems a bit suspicious of me that's all." She grabbed her purse from the draws and made for the door where Cait stood.  
" I think he's just looking out for Sal that's all Dee."  
" I know Cait; he just makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable that's all. Right, I'm ready, let's go," Dee said pushing Cait out the door. She watched Cait turn and walk down the corridor. Dee hesitated as the door clicked too in her hand. She watched Cait turn the corner at the end of the corridor. She really needed to pull herself together and get a grip of herself. Her stomach was doing ridiculous acrobatic somersaults making her feel slightly ill with apprehension. Taking a deep breath, Dee let go of the door knob and headed down the corridor after Cait.

The sun was already dipping behind the skyline as Q drove over the bridge back towards the Island. Threads of fiery red light lingered, mingling with the clouds as Dee sat behind Cait lost in thought. She shivered a knot of nervous anticipation twisting in the pit of her stomach. Soon the sun dipped into the horizon as the red sky turned a dark blue.  
"You okay Dee? You seem very quiet." Cait asked.  
"What? Oh, I'm all right, I was just thinking, that's all."  
"What about?"  
" How amazing the sunset looks over the water." Dee lied. She caught Q's eyes in the rear view and quickly flicked her gaze away concentrating on the fading light as the sky turned to darkness. What was it about Sal that made her feel this way? What made her brain fantasise so much about meeting him again? There were plenty of women out there that would give their eye teeth to be in her position. Lack of confidence consumed her as she wondered in hindsight if this was even a good idea now. She almost told Q to stop and turn back, that she'd changed her mind, but she couldn't do it. Lost in her thoughts, she wondered how the evening would pan out. The silence stretched achingly still between the three of them until Dee realised they weren't moving anymore.  
"Don't worry, " She eyed Q coolly stepping pasted Cait to let her friend get back into the front seat "I won't jerk him about. Promise."Q's eyes were flat, dispassionate as he assessed her. He recognised the words he'd said to her concerning Sal in Greenwich Park so long ago. Dee stood and gazed over the front of Sal's house. The moon shone intermittently clouds scudding across the sky to obscure it as Dee eyed the steps that lead up to Sal's porch and his front door. Turning around she was slightly shocked to see the jeep pull away leaving her stood there on her own. She watched the tail lights disappear from view and heaved a huge sigh. Turning, Dee squared her shoulders as she climbed the slivered steps the moon now illuminating her way. Dee knocked lightly. The door was immediately opened on the chain a child's face pushed into the gap, her dark beady eyes running over Dee from her feet to the top of her head. Dee had already heard the baby crying from outside, but she could hear him louder through the gap in the door. Dee smiled into the intense glare of the dark haired girl.  
"Who are you?" The child asked her dark eyes surveying Dee with suspicion.  
"The relief babysitter. " Dee smiled. "Are you gonna let me in Madison? It is Madison, right?" She squinted her eyes at Dee. "Uncle Sal," she called not taking her eyes off Dee. "This lady says she's the relief babysitter, shall I let her in?" Dee didn't hear him answer, but the door was shut in her face abruptly before she heard the chain slip across and the door open.  
"How'd you know my name? " Madison asked standing right in front of Dee as the door closed behind her. Madison held onto the handle of the stroller blocking Dee's way watching her slip the pumps off her feet  
. "Oh, I know lot's of things. I know that this is your sister, Leah, for starters." Dee pointed her finger indicating the other girl that appeared in the doorway of the living room. A carton of ice- cream was cradled in her arms as she dug the spoon into the pink coloured dessert and forced a ridiculously large spoonful into her mouth.  
"Leah! Don't you think you've had enough ice - cream today?" Sal's voice had come to Dee before he did as he stepped into the hall from the shadows. "Madison, move the stroller, so Dee can get in please." Sal had Ethan pressed into his shoulder as he tried soothing his crying by jiggling him up and down.  
Sal had realised something over the unfolding hour. He couldn't stand the sound of a baby crying. Slowly his stress levels had crept higher and higher. He was trying his best to hold himself together, but he was just about ready to snap. He was completely overwhelmed with how useless he felt. Whatever he tried just didn't seem to work, and panic had begun to set in as he thought that Ethan's crying was something else and that the child was ill.  
"I don't think he's well Dee; I think I should take him to the hospital." Sal turned his gaze from Leah in the doorway of the living room to Dee.  
"Sal, "Dee smiled at him." He doesn't need to go to the hospital." She stood in front of him now " First he needs a nappy change, he's er leaking, second he's way to hot. Pass him over. " Sal gently relinquished Ethan into Dee's arms. Cradling the baby firmly in the crook of one arm Dee swept her gaze up from Ethan to Sal's face and flashed him a broad smile. The twinkle deep in her dark eyes was still there, but Sal thought he caught the hint of sadness reflected back at him too.  
"Do ya wanna help me give the baby a mini bath Leah?"Dee asked Leah. She nodded silently at Dee. "You wanna give Sal the ice - cream Leah, then show me where the bathroom is?" Passing the half eaten ice - cream and spoon to Sal she headed for the stairs, stopping at the bottom to check Dee was following her. Madison stood arms crossed scowling at Leah. "Why don't you bring his bag up, Madison? Then maybe you could sort out some towels?" Madison scooped the baby bag up, and the small procession slowly climbed the stairs.  
"You talk funny!" Madison said over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs behind Leah.  
Moving to the bottom of the stairs Sal's gaze travelled over Dee's bare feet and calf's. His eyes lingered on the shape of her legs encased in denim the material hugging the curve of her hips as she swayed her way up the stairs. His heart beat faster in his chest as he felt the involuntary tightening in his groin. He recalled those legs wrapped around him, holding him as his body shuddered its release. Groaning to himself his gaze watched Dee round the top of his stairs with a flick of her ponytail. Snapping himself back his hand squeezed the ice-cream carton the contents a half-melted mess.Entering his kitchen he threw the ice-cream into the trash. He could hear running water and the muted tones of three voices from the bathroom from above. Sal's mind had spun as he'd listened to Brian tell him Dee was coming over. Soon Sal had been gripped by anxiety his mind a muddle of blind panic. He'd paced the living room floor as Madison and Leah had ran rings around him, and the baby cried. She was going to think he was a total fuck up. His heart had pounded in his chest as he'd waited for her to turn up. How exactly was he going to play this? He had no idea how to handle the situation.  
Sal had stood near the kitchen door out of sight as Madison had answered Dee's knock then let her in. He'd moved into the hall and couldn't help but stare at her as he walked further into the hallway. He'd tried concentrating at Leah but he couldn't as Dee had said his name and motioned to take the baby. He'd tried to play things casual, but one look into her dark brown eyes and that had gone completely out the window.  
Sal looked down at himself and felt ashamed of his appearance. He pulled the bottom hem of his shirt out in his hands and inspected it in the light; then he sniffed at it. He was sure he could smell the lingering whiff of baby crap on himself. 

 

The bright colours of the flickering TV was the only light in Sal's living room. Ethan was asleep in the bassinet top of the stroller at Dee's feet. The mini bath in Sal's bathroom sink had helped to calm him down. Now with a clean nappy and a full tummy he was sleeping soundly. Sal had carried Leah to bed an hour since changing his shirt in the process. Too much ice-cream had finally taken its toll, and she'd been sick down the toilet while she'd been in the bathroom watching Ethan being bathed. Madison had picked the movie they were watching. She'd tried her hardest to keep her eyes open, but she now lay stretched out along one edge of the corner sofa her head resting on Dee's thigh.  
Dee tried again to concentrate on the film, but she'd totally lost the plot and hadn't got a clue what was happening. The light from the TV gave the room the merest of light the shapes of the furniture only just discernible in the dark. Although she couldn't see Sal's eyes, she knew he was watching her. She could feel his eyes boring into her from across the room. This wasn't quite how she'd expected to spend her first Saturday night in New York. In her quiet moments when she'd fantasised about Sal, babysitting hadn't been one of the scenarios.  
Sal knew the movie was half way through; he'd seen it before more than once but it was on of Madison ' s favourites, and he had left it up to her to choose. He'd been sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye at Dee from where he sat. He couldn't make out whether she knew he was watching her or not; the gloom was disguising her features. Sal decided the only course of action was to be bold about it.  
"You watching this Dee?" He asked pulling himself up from the sofa standing in front of her.  
"Nope, I lost the plot ages ago." Dee smiled getting up too after gently removing Madison's head from her thigh. Her heart was pounding in her chest.  
"What ya thinking about Dee?"  
"I'm thinking about you," Dee replied staring straight into his green eyes. " I'm wondering if this is really happening and if your real and I'm not just dreaming again."  
"You've been dreaming about me?"  
"Uh-huh, " She nodded biting her bottom lip, not quite believing she'd just admitted that to his face. "Vividly. What are you thinking about?"  
"Kissing you. I can't stop thinking about kissing you." She felt her heart flutter a little as his eyes never left hers. His hands went to either side of her face, stroking, cradling, he pulled Dee towards him. Pausing he gazed deep into her eyes then moved till his lips were barely brushing hers.  
"Come sit on my side of the sofa Dee."  
Her hands were shaking as she sat next to him. Sal moved closer reaching a hand to her face he removed her glasses placing them on the coffee table. He ran his thumb gently across her lips. Dee could barely breathe. His hands moved down to her sides, then her hips as she inched closer to him on the sofa. His fingers tightened on her hips as she moved closer to his mouth with hers. She snaked one hand then the other around his neck her eyes staying on his mouth as they moved closer still.  
"Do it." She whispered her fingers in his hair. Dee felt his mouth brush hers once, twice and then his mouth took hers. She thought she could feel the air crackle with electricity as she wrapped her hands tighter around his neck. Sal pulled away slightly from her lips, then returned leaving her breathless. Moving closer, he dug his fingers into the small of her back as his mouth opened. He heard her sigh into his mouth as their tongues found each other. Her breasts were tightly against his chest her arms wrapped around his neck like she was drowning. Their tongues were deep now their lips working each other, and Dee lost where she was.  
Sal kissed her cheeks, her eyelids then back to her mouth kissing her deeply, lingeringly. He moved his mouth over her chin down over her throat, to the hollow at the base of her throat. Dee caught slight movement from the other side of the sofa as Madison began to stir. Reluctantly she pulled away indicating to Sal with her eyes that Madison was waking up.  
"Have I been asleep Uncle Sal?" She asked stretching languidly then blinking owlishly in the light from the TV. "Think I'm gonna go to bed, night Uncle Sal. G'night Dee. " Madison sidled out the living room. Sal waited until he heard her tread on the stairs before he turned back to Dee. He pushed her back onto the sofa covering her mouth with his. Dee was just as eager pulling him back to her not wanting to lose the feel of his lips on hers again. He was on his side next to her on the sofa. Dee ran a hand down his arm then under his shirt feeling his warm skin with her fingers. Sal worked a hand under her shirt, snaking beneath the vest top. The feel of his warm, strong hand on her bare flesh turned Dee's head inside out. She could feel his cock so hard against her through his sweat pants as he pulled her leg up and around him. She could feel him so big and hard against her thigh and all the while the feel of his hands on her body, his mouth on hers was making her hot and her breathing heavy. Sal knew he really shouldn't go any further Roz could turn up at any minute, but the thought of taking Dee right there on the sofa was driving him crazy. Her breathing was ragged as murmuring her name he moved his mouth to her neck feeling her breasts pushed into him. Then they stopped, someone was knocking on Sal's front door.  
He gazed into her eyes and then buried his head into her shoulder groining. Dee closed her eyes and put her head back, trying to breathe. It wasn't easy. The knock came again.  
"I think you should get that."  
"I know I should, but I really don't want to let you go." He kissed her gently once more before he reluctantly moved off the sofa. Her knees were shaky, but she managed to stand too.  
"Now I've just got to figure out how to hide this," Sal said taking her hand and touching it to his hard dick. Her eyes stared into his as her fingers stroked him absently for a minute.  
"Oh God!" Sal breathed leaning his head back his eyes closed. His phone began vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out, Sal somehow managed to pull some of his depleted composure together to answer the call. He lied to Roz that he'd been sleeping. Ending her call he scooped up the bassinette by the handles and manoeuvred out of his living room holding it in front of himself.  
" You'll never guess who I ran into at the restaurant tonight? " Roz beamed at Sal as he opened the door. "Only Gabriela Melendez. " She stepped passed him to take hold of the handles of the bassinette and secured it back onto its wheels. "You remember Gabby; she always had a thing about you before we got together. It seems she's just split with her boyfriend; her eyes practically fell out of their sockets when I told her you were back on the market. How's Ethan been?" Roz was asking as she turned to now to face Sal. Her eyes ran over his flushed face the bulge in his sweat pants clearly evident." Christ Sal, you weren't asleep, were you? Did I interpret you watching porn?" Three large glasses of red and nearly getting down to business in the ladies restroom of the restaurant with Eric, and Roz had sex on the brain. Eric was waiting for her in the cab outside she was taking him back to hers with Ethan. Just the thought of having Eric in her bed again was making Roz feel horny.  
"No.....I......No Roz I wasn't watching porn. The thing is a friend came over to help me out with your kid after you dumped him on me."  
"Friend? Do I know this friend whose given you a huge boner? "  
"No. So thanks all the same but I don't need you hooking me up with Gabby Melendez. I can take care of my own love life thank you very much, Roz."  
"I'll take that as my hint to leave." Roz smiled. She opened the door and began wheeling the stroller down the steps of Sal's porch. "What are you standing watching me for you dope? "Roz observed him stood watching her.  
. "Get back in there." Sal's gaze caught a tall guy with shoulder length black hair step out of the cab. He shut the door then. It felt weird for Sal, getting that sort of advice from his ex.  
Dee had time to gather her sense together while Sal was talking to Roz. With Ethan gone and the girls in bed asleep Dee realised she really didn't need to be here anymore. Should she stay? Or should she go? Her heart was telling her to stay, but her head was telling her something completely different. Was she prepared to face Madison and Leah in the morning? Could she bluff her way out of any awkward questions from Sal's niece's, two girls she didn't even know properly? Dee leant her back against the door, head back thinking about Sal. She just couldn't stop thinking about him, about kissing him. Dee switched the TV off the room now in darkness. A few minutes went by before Dee came to a decision.  
Dee opened the door. Maybe it was that feeling of electricity in the air that made her open it. Sal was stood there, facing her holding both hands on the doorframe.  
"You're not gonna leave are you Dee?"  
"I er...... no." She shook her head her eyes never leaving his.  
"You sure?"  
" I'm not sure of anything right now. " Dee breathed backed away from him, back into the dark room their stare was unbreakable as he advanced towards her the light from the hall on his back.  
"Stay with me Dee." He kissed her softly.  
"Do you think this is a good idea?" her brown eyes burned with heat and intensity as she stared into Sal's eyes.  
"You're over thinking Dee."  
"I have a tendency to do that all the time."  
" Well don't think about anything else for the rest of the night Dee. Not anything else but you and me and now." His soft lips touched hers as lips parted to lips and he kissed her deeper. As tongue met tongue, their hands entwined. Her hips moved against him, and she could feel his hardness against her. Their kisses became deeper, softer more lingering neither wanting to stop. Sal's mouth moved searching over her jaw line sliding down her neck to nibble and kiss the softness of her skin. She didn't resist as he gently guided her out the living room, across the hall and on up the stairs.

 

 

  


 


	28. Feels right.

"Can I ask you something Brian?" Cait had asked casting her eyes into the rear view mirror at Dee as Q had driven away from the front of Sal's house. Dee had made for a forlorn looking figure in Cait's eyes, standing there alone on the sidewalk staring after the jeep. "It's about Dee." Cait finished her eyes watching the side of his face as Q drove. His jaw had seemed to tense as he'd flicked Cait a quick look out the corner of his eye.  
"What about Dee?"  
"You seem a bit off with each other that all. I already asked Dee if she'd got a problem with you and she said no. Do you have a problem with her?"  
"Why would I have a problem with her? I don't even know her."  
"She's my friend Brian; I just know there's something about Dee that bugs you." Q's eyes narrowed as he'd glanced at Cait his dark eyes glowered sullenly.  
"Yeah, actually. Yeah, there is something about Dee that bugs me. Too much baggage that's what." Q's large hands had gripped a little tighter around the steering wheel then. " Hell Cait, Sal and I have been through some rough shit over the years. I've seen him do the whole romantic thing with other girl-friends I just never excepted him to fall for a widow with kids. It wasn't what I'd imagined for Sal. I thought their January thing was just a fling. It Seems that I was wrong on that score" Q pulled the jeep to a standstill in the traffic waiting for a set of lights to change. Q then swiped a glance at Cait out the corner of his eye as he'd drummed his fingertips against the steering wheel. "He'd got Roz and the baby to consider and I just thought there was nothing in it." The car in front began to move as Q followed, his gaze returning to the road ahead. " I could've just kept stum about her being on holiday with you Cait, but I didn't I texted him instead."  
"I get it, Brian, Sal's your friend you're worried he's gonna get hurt?"  
"That's exactly how I feel Cait. Roz has completely jerked him about over the past few months, and I know he was crushed when he found the baby wasn't his. He tried not to let it show Cait, but I could tell he was cut up about it. Do you think I did the right thing Cait? Was I wrong to let him know?"  
"And what if you hadn't told him and he'd found out later that you kept it from him? How do ya think he'd feel about it then? "  
"He would have been pissed as hell at me."  
"Life's full of what if ' s Brian. Right now whether you did right or not doesn't matter as much as what Sal and Dee choose to do with the next couple weeks."  
"I just don't want her breezing back into his life when I know he's emotionally vulnerable. Then breezing back off again leaving us to pick up the pieces when she's gone home and Sal falls apart."  
"If you thought all this then you shouldn't have told him and faced up to the consequences when he found out."  
"Yeah. All this bullshits been going around my head all day. The thing is Cait when I texted him about Dee I wasn't thinking with my brain." Cait had wriggled around in her seat to watch him, waiting for Q to finish. "I was thinking with my dick. It was saying hey, Sal needs to get laid dude, be a friend."  
"Sex," Cait exclaimed with a laugh.  
" Hey, what can I say I'm just a fuckin' hornball." He'd smirked driving the jeep off the road and parking up on a drive in front of a house.  
"Where are we?"Cait had asked.  
"My place. I've got something for you." Cait had turned her attention then back to Q.  
"Sounds interesting. What is it? Do I get it now or later?" Cait's eyes had darted over the side of his face as she'd watched him climb out his side of the jeep.  
" You can come in if you like. " Q had said ducking his head back into the cab. "You don't have to sit here and wait ya know." Cait got out as Q had rounded the back of the jeep. "I just thought I'd make a detour to my place before we headed back to yours. I wanna pick something up; I got you a present. I remembered your birthday was August, but like the dick I am, I forgot the date. "  
"It was Thursday Brian the 25th."  
"I thought it had a five in it. I was torn between the 15th and the 25th I couldn't remember which. Jesus, I'm such a fuck tard. Fuck it Cait, I was pissed I'd missed you at the airport on the way to Comic-Con really pissed. I seem to recall I was grumpy for most of the outbound flight. Sal took the brunt of it. Stupid jerk forgot his meds, and I blamed him. If we hadn't had to turn back, I wouldn't have missed you. Things might have turned out way different than the way they did." His voice had trailed off slightly his last words ending on almost a whisper. His gaze had fallen to his feet as he'd stuffed his hands in his pockets. He was quiet for a moment before he pulled his eyes up to look at Cait smiling, the lines around his eyes crinkling faintly.  
"This way." He'd said indicating for Cait to follow him by a twitch of his shoulder as he'd inclined his head a little. Cait had fallen into step behind him her eyes on his somewhat hunched over shoulders.  
Cait had decided not to dwell on the fact that he'd been with someone else. They'd made no promises to be exclusive to each other and technically weren't even together at the time, the likely hood of that ever happening a far distant dream for both of them. She'd found herself desperately clinging onto the hope that they'd meet again even after his messages had trailed off after Cambodia. Now though after a somewhat false start here they were. Q had stared at Cait intently as he'd slotted his key firmly into his lock . Cait's tongue had flicked out running over her dry lips as she dipped her eyes. Having his dark chocolate brown eyes staring into hers again kept her heart pounding at a maddeningly fast pace every time he glanced her way. Tiny goosebumps seemed to prickle unchecked, tingling up her back, across her shoulders then down her arms at just having him so close to her.  
As the door had opened Q was immediately bombarded by three furry bodies coming to meet him in his hall.  
"Hey, guys this is Cait. Remember I've told you about Cait before......"  
"You have?" Cait had asked crouching down as the three cats had come to sniff around her feet.  
"Er yeah," Q had stopped turned on the spot to look at Cait. He'd ran one hand through his hair stopping momentarily to scratch at the back of his neck. " Think I was wasted." Q had replied shrugging his shoulders as Cait's hazel eyes had locked with his. "Damn it! That came out wrong, what I meant was....."  
"I know what you meant." Cait had winked smiling turning her attention to his cats. She'd offered the flat of her hand out to be sniffed. Benjamin and Cheesie's noses were pressed firmly into her palm. She'd known that they could smell Jimmy and Chad as they'd both moved from sniffing her hand to concentrating their attention on her shoes. Brooklyn had been more cautious. She'd hissed at Cait and had backed away a little. The scents of Jimmy and Chad were not going down at all well with her.  
"Hey, it's okay," Cait's voice had soothed as she let Brooklyn gingerly approached her proffered hand with one cautious move at a time. "I know you can smell Jimmy and Chad, but you have absolutely nothing to worry about. They're not gonna come over and invade your space."  
"Did she hiss at you then?" Q had asked a frown furrowing his brow as he'd glared at Brooklyn his hands resting on his hips.  
"Oh, it was nothing to worry about." Cait had shrugged ." She could smell Jimmy and Chad and it's freaking her out a bit that's all. She's Brooklyn right?" Cait had asked as Brooklyn had tentatively nosed her palm flicking her rough tongue out across Cait's hand in a bold move.  
"You remembered." Q had said guiding Cait into his living room and away from what seemed like a cat interrogation.  
"Sure I remembered." That long night at the Ritz in January was locked in her mind, every word they'd spoken etched forever in her memory. Cait had smiled at Q as she'd edged passed him into his living room. She'd glancing quickly around, drinking it all in without trying to look like she was scrutinising his stuff too much. Cait watched Q pull two packages out a draw then softly closing it he'd stepping towards her.  
"First, I think you should have these back." Q had passed over the brown package Cait recognised as the one she'd given him to look after containing her three best Harley Quinn comics. "I think they need to go back to you and the rest of your Harley Quinn collection. I might have an interested party or two who would really like to get there hands on those." Cait had taken them from him with gratitude shining in her eyes.  
"Thank you for taking care of them Brian. I knew you would." He'd ducked his head slightly her words making a warm glow smoulder in his stomach and begin spreading through his body.  
"I'd got you on the brain at Comic Con. I just couldn't shake you and when I saw this....well..... I just had too. I don't really know how the hell I thought I was gonna get it to you, but hey, what the fuck, I bought it anyways. Hope you like it." Cait had lain her comics down on the sofa behind her to take the present from him. He'd wrapped it in plain green wrapping paper her name scrawled across the front in gold sharpie. Cait had torn the wrapping off revealing a frame of walnut. In the frame was a Harley Quinn limited edition print.  
"It's signed!" Cait had exclaimed a look of wonder in her eyes. "Amanda Connors signed it, did she do it in front of you? Did you see her do it? Oh, my God!"  
"Yeah, I watched her do it. Jimmy Palmiotti and Alex Sinclair signed it too. See." He'd then pointed to the other signatures on the print.  
"Amanda Connor signed it." Cait had repeated. Q's grin had seemed to stretched from ear to ear as he'd watched the delight shine across Cait's face.  
"Yeah, Cait you've said that already." He'd chuckled stuffing his hands into his pockets and rocking slightly on his heels.  
"Have I? " Cait had asked feeling silly that she was going gaga over his present, not even realising what she was saying. "I wish I'd been there." She'd sighed her eyes dancing over the print.  
"You like it then?"  
"Do I ever. Thank you." Cait had whispered. Stepped towards her Q's fingers had twirled gently through stray strains of her hair as he'd brushed it away from her forehead. Then he'd leant in for a kiss.  
"Your eyes are so beautiful Caitlin." His hot breath had feathered tickling teasingly across her cheeks. His dark eyes had glowed as he'd stared deep into Cait's eyes. Q had kissed her, faintly touching his lips to hers. Cait had opened her mouth brushing his lips with her tongue and Q had matched her. Cait had pressed her body closer into him their kiss becoming deeper, harder as they'd let it take them over. Cait's fingertips had gripped tighter around the walnut frame she held in one hand. His lips moved away from hers, across her jawline to work kissing and nibbling down her neck.  
"Suddenly," Cait's breath had caught in her throat as she felt his fingers begin to undo the buttons one by one down the front of her dress. "I don't fell like a movie anymore." She didn't try to stop him.  
"Me neither." Q had answered his eyes flicking up at her as he pushed the dress over her shoulders.  
"Wanna stay in and order pizza?"  
"After." Cait had sighed delicately placing the framed print onto the sofa with her comics.  
"After?" Q had asked raising his brow questioningly as he'd trace his fingers along her bra straps.  
"I need you right now, more than pizza." Cait had let the sleeveless dress fall smoothly down her arms letting it fall to her feet before she linked her arms around Q's neck.

The house was silent as Sal flicked the light off on the stairs. Coming back from the bathroom he'd poked his head around his spare bedroom door at the two figures of the girls still resolutely asleep. Sal closed the door softly behind him. The soft glow of the lamp by his bed cast shadows over Dee. Her dark hair fell across the pillow as she shifted slightly the soft curve of her leg thrown over the cover. Sal watched her sleeping as he moved around the room picking up their discarded clothes, then folding them neatly together he lay them on a chair. A soft sigh escaped her lips as Dee slept on. He couldn't resist and touched his fingers lightly behind her knee. Dee jerked a little in her sleep as she let out a sound that was a cross between a sigh and a giggle. Then Sal trailed the tips of his fingers over the curve of Dee's thigh lingering over her ass cheeks. Sal slid himself back into bed next to Dee. Her sleeping form nestled back into his own. Soft curves pressed into his nakedness caused his cock to twitch. Sal's lips parted slightly as he held in a softened moan. He wondered if Dee really was sleeping still. Either way, he found it a pleasant way to spend the early morning her body pressed tight against his. Sal dipped his head his nose brushing against her honey smelling hair, he breathed in. The delicate scent of her hair only adding to his already growing arousal. Her body remained curved into his as Dee moved softly against him. Lifting a hand his fingertips caressed the curve of her hip as he sucked gently on her ear lobe. He trailed his lips down her neck then, eliciting a moan from Dee. Gently he gliding his lips kissing along Dee's shoulder.  
Dee kept her eyes closed carrying on the pretext of being asleep but the feel of his growing cock pressed against her bum cheeks was just too much. His kisses were sending shivers down her spine his fingers drawing invisible patterns across her stomach. She turned slowly easing away from him before she turned around.. His face glowed in the soft light of the lamp his gorgeous eyes blinking, pushing back sleep  
"Good morning beautiful." She drew in a breath his cock pressing into her hip.  
"Ooh, hey you ....and your friend." Dee said brushing a light touch across the velvet head of his cock. She worked her hand gently back and forth trailing a gentle touch over the head of his cock as Sal grunted his approval deep in his throat. Dipping his head Sal's lips caressed the curve of her breast as his tongue left a wet trail over her warm skin. The tip of his tongue flicked her hard nipple then he sucked it deep into his mouth while his other hand pinched at her other taut bud. He was enjoying the feeling of them both hardening from his attention.Sal then slid a hand from Dee's hip to her thigh his fingers circling her inner thigh. He could sense she was wet for him even before he touched her. That she could want him so quickly, so completely, overwhelmed him with desire. His fingers parted her folds her juices coating his fingers as he ran them around her soft wet folds. He could feel her wetness building.  
"Oh God, Sal." Was all that Dee could say as Sal deftly slipped two fingers inside her wet core. Her muscles tightened around him as he pushed deeply. A barely audible sigh left her parted lips as her legs parted a little more her body moving as her back arched ever so slightly against his touch. She let out a small moan moving her mouth over his shoulder biting him softly as Sal worked his fingers inside her. Dee lay back then and with careful movement Sal moved in between her legs. Slowly shifting he settled himself contently between her thighs. Dee's legs slowly parted a little more. His hands caressed the skin of her hips with his fingertips as Dee felt his soft warm lips on her clit as the tip of his tongue sneaked out and swiped it gently. Sal felt her body quiver as she raised her hips to meet his mouth.He worked his tongue up and down covering every intimate place except her clit. His mouth felt so good, so soft, and Dee knew that he was aware what she wanted.  
"Oh, oh, oh," Dee gasped in pleasure as his tongue circled around the edge of her entrance. "Sal." Dee's breath rasped.  
"Hmm-mm- mm. " he answered his tongue never stopping.  
"Don't tease please, suck my clit." Closing her eyes tight Dee felt his tongue graze over her swollen nub causing her legs to jerk.  
"All you had to do to was ask." He said as his lips closed around her clit sucking gently. Slipping two fingers into her Sal moaned in appreciation as her juices flowed over his hands and mouth. Dee's arms stretched out slowly, her nails gently clutching at the white sheets. She moaned her body twisting, pleasure building inside her. . Dee felt as though she was melting from the inside out. Her breath gasped raggedly in her throat as she surrendered to his flicking tongue. She was close, on the edge but his tongue felt so good. Suddenly he sucked hard on her swollen clit and Dee felt the first wave of pleasure enveloped her. She clenched his head with her legs as she came.  
The shaking of her body told Sal all he needed to know. He looked up at Dee as he rested his head against her thigh smiling. Dee's breathing was heavy her face flushed.  
They lay like that for a little while until Sal crawled up between her legs. Dee smiled wriggling as she felt his hard cock pressed up against her.She wrapped her arms around him holding him close craving the touch of his body pressed into hers. Holding each other close they rolled onto their sides his arms holding her tightly.  
Hungrily their lips met, Sal kissing her lips softly then pulling at her lower lip. He pulling back from her lips smiling, his eyes seemed to devour her as he was lightly kissing her again. Softly they kissed but then harder as their lips parted, their tongues circling deeply, longingly. Dee ran one hand up and down his back, then stroking gently over his hip to his stomach then back over his chest. She ran her thumb over one button nipple as Sal groaned rolling onto his back. Snuggling into his side Dee let her hand roam over his body. Her light fingertips ran down to his thighs, and Dee teased him there, just like he'd teased her. Never quite touching his very hard cock. Propping herself up on her elbow Dee ran her tongue over his flat nipple as she ran her fingertips over his balls.  
"Ohhh, fuck, that's it Dee, that's it...." Sal whispered softly Dee's fingers gently cupping his balls then massaging and rolling them. Sal groaned deeply as Dee grabbed hold of the base of his cock. With her hand, she stroked him up and down his shaft. His hips seem to strain up trying to get more contact. Getting onto her knees Dee took his cock in her mouth and sucked him in, in one hard long suck.  
"Fuck! Dee." He gasped as she let his cock slowly slide out then back in again in a slow rhythm. She tickled the underside of his cock with her tongue as she moved it outwards again. She felt him shudder with pleasure as she alternated between taking his cock shallower and deep throating. Slowing the pace somewhat Dee was letting the head of his cock slip out through her soft full lips. She teased the velvet smooth tip of his cock licking him up and down while pumping his shaft. Dee tilted her head upwards to look at Sal.  
"I need to feel you in me." Dee moaned her breath warm against the tip of his cock. Sal reached out for a condom and Dee took it from him  
sliding it down his shaft. She then straddled him and staring into his eyes she slowly ran his cock over her wet entrance before sliding her hot wet core down on him. Clasping their hands together tightly for balance Dee began to rock back and forth his cock filling her completely. Sal shut his eyes in pleasure as Dee threw her head back her dark hair flowing over her shoulders. Her breathing was out of control. Panting hard she could feel her muscles shudder gripping his cock.  
"Come for me Dee."Sal whispered coaxingly moving a hand to her right breast taking her nipple between his fingers. "Do you like riding my hard cock? You do don't you Dee?" She could feel his fingers on her nipple rolling it back and forth increasing the pressure. "I want to feel you come on my cock Dee." His fingers felt like they were burning into her flesh as he gripped her hips to steady her movements. Sal's eyes filled with lust as a warm glow spread over her chest and shoulders to her face. Dee's hips ground into him as she felt the rolling pleasure of her orgasm washing through her. A deep, warm feeling seemed to seep through her pores as she lowered herself onto Sal's chest. Rolling Dee onto her back Sal's patience was at an end, he couldn't wait any longer. Using a hand, Sal guided his cock down her wetness then thrust his throbbing cock in with a small moan. Slowly he slide into Dee pausing to let her adjust for a moment. The second stroke was anything but slow. Slamming his entire throbbing length into her Dee gasped as he repeated the move pausing slightly between each stroke. Soon he picked up a hard fast rhythm that was leaving both them breathless.  
"I'm gonna come Dee, Oh fuck, Oh God, I'm.......gonna......Come. .." And with a last powerful thrust, Sal let out a long low growl as he came long and hard. He continued thrusting as he emptied himself into her. He stayed inside her till his erection had subsided, and he slipped out. Sal rolled onto his back, then sitting up he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.  
"Just gonna go clean up." He said shrugging his arms into his robe as he headed for the bathroom.  
"Are you okay? " Sal whispered into Dee's ear as he climbed back into bed beside her. Her breathing was slowly returning to normal as Dee nodded her head, she was pretty much past speech or even thought at that moment. The dawns early light was creeping through the curtains as Dee turned into him. She curled into Sal her face pressed close to his chest his slowing heartbeat beating against her cheek the sound filling her soul. Sal wrapped an arm around her and gently stroked her hair as they lay there together. It was only a short time before Sal realised by the change in her breathing she'd drifted off to sleep. He snuggled a little tighter into her body a contented smile on his face. Laying with Dee in his arms, her warm body pressed tight into his felt so right to Sal. His eyelids began to feel heavy as he too slowly drifted off to sleep..


	29. What we've started.

Cait stood in Q's kitchen kettle in one hand filling it from the tap. Her gaze wandered through the window into his small back yard. Two birds were sat on the far fence, and Cait smiled to herself as she turned the tap off. The birds must be braver in New York; she thought to venture into a yard that was the territory of three cats. Birds had steered well clear of the houseboat as Jimmy and Chad were accomplished, hunters. The evidence of this being dropped at her feet quite often. Jimmy and Chad always looked pleased with themselves as their prey still twitched on the kitchenette flooring at Cait's feet. Setting the kettle down Cait clicked it on. She'd been awake for a while. Out in the street, the council's truck was spraying Q's neighbourhood for mosquitoes. It had still been dark when it had woken Cait up. Cait had slipped out of Q's bed and padded silently over to the window watching the truck through Q's thin bedroom curtains as it had crawled up the street. She'd returned to bed and tried to get back to sleep, but she just couldn't manage it. Instead, she'd watched Q sleeping. His features were much softer in sleep, the lines that usually creased around his eyes were smoother. He was looking less tired, his face at peace in sleep.  
Cait stood in his kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil wearing Q's t-shirt and nothing else. She'd found the tea and a couple of mugs. Feeling hungry she'd seen the toaster, and then found a half eaten loaf of bread. Toast would be good; Cait had thought. She'd checked that the bread was still okay before she popped it into the toaster. Just then Q came shuffling into the kitchen. Cait's eyes drunk the sight of him in she thought he looked so damn sexy with his rumpled morning appearance. His shaggy greying hair was sticking up all over his head his boxers rested on his hips almost looking like they might slip off at any moment. Just looking at him like that made Cait tingle with arousal.  
"Tea?" She asked pouring water from the now boiled kettle into one mug. Q nodded, and Cait poured water into the second cup too. She added milk to the tea from the fridge and putting the carton back brought out the butter for the toast. Cait watched Q retrieve the two already toasted slices and add two more to the toaster. He took a sip of the tea she passed him then he took a huge bite of the slice of toast he'd accepted from her as Cait still watched him. She was having trouble pulling her eyes away from him.  
"Tell me Cait, "Q began setting his cup down a slight smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "Have I grown horns overnight? " Cait stared at Q grinning broadly.  
"No, but your making me feel friggin' horny. "Cait leant forward and gave him a quick, intense kiss before ducking away from him taking a bite of her toast as she went. Cait turned and perched on one of the kitchen stools noticing her kiss had woken up something else, her eyes wandered to the tent in his boxers.  
"Do you like what you see Caitlin?"Q questioned his eyes twinkling with mischief. The second lot of toast popped up but was ignored as Cait stood and advanced closer to Q. He stood his back leaning against the Island his legs spread his eyes never leaving Cait's. She ran her fingers through her hair settling the long chestnut tresses down her back as she came to stand in between his legs. She leant in kissing his lips letting her tongue tease along the edges. Then she gently trailed kisses along his jaw line.  
"Have you ever broken your kitchen properly?"Cait asked brushing her soft lips close to his ear lobe.  
"Yeah, I cooked a roast once."  
"I don't mean cooking Brian." Cait's breath whispered into his ear as she sucked on his ear lobe.  
"I like the way your mind works Nurse." Q chuckled as he ran his fingers up her neck, into her hair pulling her mouth back to his. What started as a tender kiss turned quickly into something different as his tongue fought entrance pressing against her lips. His tongue traced the inside of her lips before venturing further to entwine with hers. Her hands on his chest she liked the feeling of his sparse chest hair teasing her palms. Cait ran her fingernails over his pebble hard nipples every time she did it she felt his kiss get just a little more intense. His hands snaked down under the t-shirt she was wearing his large hands grabbing her ass as his fingertips dug into her soft, smooth flesh pulling Cait closer into him. Q's hands wandered under the t-shirt his fingers teasing up over her waist to find the delicate curve of her breasts. Every time Cait raked her nails over his nipples Q gently pinched Cait's hard bud between his finger and thumb. Breaking their kiss Cait trailed her mouth, nibbling and kissing down his neck and across his shoulder. She moved down flicking her tongue lightly over one nipple then the other. Cait's mouth and tongue explored over him, her tongue following the line of hair that disappeared into the waistband of Q's boxers. His cock had grown to the point where it was trying to escape from the fly hole in his boxers. Cait found the swollen head of his cock peeking out and couldn't resist. She flicked her tongue out and licked around the smooth velvet head of his cock.  
"Maybe you should lose these." Cait laughed trailing a finger around the waistband of his boxers.  
"Oh but Cait, it's such a fuckin' turn on making you work for it."Cait's hazel eyes sparkled flecks of green glinting in their depths as she tugged his boxers down and away. Wrapping a hand around the base of his cock she swirled her tongue around the head. Taking just the head into her mouth, she continued to swirl her tongue ever so slowly then she began to take more and more of his cock. While Cait worked her mouth and tongue over his cock she cupped his balls and massaged them in her hand. Soon she found her rhythm and was sucking Q faster and harder. Cait could tell whenever he got close, but then she'd back off to start licking and teasing again repeating her attention on his hard cock once again. She had no intention of letting him come just yet.  
Cait glanced up at Q. His brown eyes were almost black as he moaned deeply in his throat he was having trouble staying still.  
" Oh Cait, " Q gasped. "As much as your mouth feels fuckin' awesome on me, play fair Nurse Caitlin." Cait reluctantly pulled herself up. Her fingertips were playing a feather light touch on his cock head as she did so. Q took hold of the hem of her t-shirt and helped her off with it pulling it over Cait's head and throwing the garment across the kitchen. He lifted Cait by her waist onto the Island and she leant back on her elbows her eyes following him pure lust burning in their depths. Q's smouldering brown eyes cruised over her body as she tossed her head slightly, waiting. He moved to stand between her legs his cock brushing against the soft skin of Cait's inner thigh. Reaching for her he pulled Cait towards the edge of the Island and she spread her legs wider to make room for his body. Q reached and brushed a stray strand of her hair from her face over her shoulder. Cait stared into his dark burning eyes; there was something different about the way his eyes held hers for just a brief second then it was gone as he bent forward to kiss her. He trailed kisses over her neck to her collar bone. He gave little butterfly kisses and licked around her breast while his hands rubbed up and down her thighs teasing behind her knees then moving back up again to her wet folds. Every time just going that little higher Q knew exactly what he was doing. He took her nipple into his mouth and flicked his tongue over it before teasing it back and forth and gently rocking it between his teeth. Cait felt like all the blood in her body had been replaced with liquid fire, she could feel the ache building deep inside her body. She spread her legs wider, hooking them around his waist.  
Q moved his teasing to the other nipple his hands now at the top of her thighs as his thumbs barely brushed her wet lips.  
"Oh God, Brian," Cait moaned."That feels so good, don't stop."His thumbs rubbed her wider running all around her clit and entrance. Cait's bum was almost on the edge of the Island now her legs gripped around his waist to stop falling. She was close to coming, and Q knew this so atoned to the way her body responded to his attentions. Q sucked on one nipple hard one thumb entering her rubbing hard, and that tipped Cait over the edge. Her head fell back, and she knew she was about to come apart under his touch. She was beyond speech as her body bucked under him. Leaning back with a satisfied smile, Q gazed down at Cait's flushed face as she slipped into a calm pool of pleasure. Cait heard the scrapping of the stool's legs across the floor just having enough time to get her thoughts together before feeling Q's mouth kissing his way over her skin his tongue leaving a wet trail down her stomach. Q lifted her legs to dangle over his arms as his head settled between her spread thighs. Cait couldn't hold herself up any longer and lay on the counter as Q's tongue swirled around her clit. Cait's breath caught in her throat as Q continued to flick his tongue around then back and forth. He drew her clit into his mouth and sucked on the nub that seemed to Cait to hold every nerve ending in her whole body. Cait was writhing on the Island as his tongue continued to tantalise her clit. He worked a finger inside her then another working them in and out until his fingers rotated and he found her G-spot as he still sucked on her nub. Closing her eyes Cait saw bright shooting lights flit across her eyelids as she tumbled over the edge again. Trembling Cait tried to make her mouth work, but her brain seemed to have short-circuited.  
Q helped Cait sit up then helped her down from the Island. Cait stood on trembling legs as Q moved over to the kitchen table his back to her. Cait ran her gaze over his back. Damn she thought, but he had a sexy arse. She walked over towards him reaching out she ran her fingertips in circles across his bare behind. Q shut the drawer in the table he'd been rummaging in as Cait squeezed his butt cheeks. Cait pressed her body into his back snaking one hand around to his chest the other reaching to grab his hard cock. She kissed him along his shoulder as he held up the foil wrapper between his fingers.  
"Condoms in the kitchen drawer?" Cait laughed her mouth brushing the nape of his neck.  
"Just in case." Q smiled his brow arched as he turned to face Cait.  
"In case of what? " Cait asked ripping at the foil wrapper between her teeth.  
"Just in case I ever got accosted in my kitchen by a nympho nurse." Cait smoothed the condom over his throbbing cock as Q groaned deep in his throat.  
"Fuck me, Brian. Fuck me hard and fast on the kitchen table."  
"My pleasure. " Q replied as he expertly lifted her up and lay her on the table. He lifted her legs over his shoulders and rubbed the head of his cock over her wet slit as he positioned himself at her entrance, then he entered her. He thrust deep and hard rotating his hips as he withdrew then repeated the motion. He pumped into her, and Cait revelled in the feeling of him filling her as she began to tense and relax her muscles around him as he worked his cock in and out. Cait was lifting her hips to meet his thrust the table taking on a defined rocking motion with each thrust.  
"Deeper?" Cait gasped.  
"Deeper." He just replied. He withdrew as Cait slid off the table and turned around. She slowly bent over the table and wiggled her bum at him. His large hands ran over her ass cheeks as he gently slid his cock back in. His hands travelled over the base of her spine then gripped her firmly around the waist. Pumping in and out, he drove a little harder with each stroke. Cait rolled her hips to meet his movements as he slammed into her harder and harder.  
"Oh fuck Cait, I'm gonna come." Her body clenched as she felt his whole body stiffen as with one deep thrust he exploded inside her. Cait felt boneless as he rocked against her. Still inside her, Q rested his body over Cait. "Fuck Cait! "Q said with a satisfied purr in his voice. "Caitlin medicine always hits the spot." Chuckling his deflated cock slipped out of her. "Best get cleaned up Cait." he sighed pinching her ass cheeks. Cait pushed herself up from the table.  
"Think me teas gone cold." Cait sighed turning around. She watched Q pour the now tepid contents of the two mugs down the sink. He cast a glance at Cait from the corner of his eye. Sometimes her English accent, especially her phrasing, made him smile to himself as a warm glow zipped through his veins.  
"You wanna another?" Q asked.  
"After," Cait replied taking the mugs from his grasp and placing them down on the drainer.  
"After what?"  
"I really need a shower, Brian." Cait watched the colour drain from his face as his eyebrows came down low to rest heavy over his dark eyes.  
"Take my hand, Brian." Cait's eyes roamed over his bright face as she brushed back his hair from his sweaty forehead. She trailed her hand over his shoulder down his arms. Their hands were pressed together palm against palm as she linked her fingers through his. "Us together Brian, you and me, together we can face this." He swallowed deeply letting out a long quiet breath before he let Cait lead him from the kitchen back upstairs.

Sal rolled over and reached an arm across the bed, but he found the spot next to him empty. He opened his eyes and rolled back over stretching out he gave a small groan. His eyes travelled sleepily around his room as his brain slowly clicked into gear. Early morning light pushed through the gap in his curtains. As much as he wanted to snuggle back down into the bed where it was warm Sal knew he should really pull himself together and get up but the bed was warm, and he just wanted to burrow back in and wrap himself in the covers and wait for Dee to come back. His eyes roamed over his white ceiling before he reluctantly lifted his head from the pillow, then sitting up he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.  
"Uncle Sal, Uncle Sal." Madison's voice called from the other side of the bedroom door. He'd heard her thundering up the stairs and across the small landing before her voice came to him through the door.  
"Hold up Madison." He answered stifling a yawn. Sal rubbed at his sleepy eyes as he reached for his robe. He shrugged it on, and padding over to the door half opened it focusing his eyes blurrily on Madison.  
"Mom says she's running late, again. She's picking us up in 15 minutes. She can't stop though." Her dark eyes scrutinised him as he pulled the robe tighter around his body.  
"Shit Madison, what's the time?" He asked running his hand up his cheek and through his hair. "I was gonna take you and Leah out for breakfast...." He didn't get to finish the sentence though as Madison cut him off.  
"S'okay. Dee made us breakfast. " Madison smiled holding Sal's gaze intently for a brief second before snapping her eyes away for his. "I just thought I'd come tell you about mom. " Turning Madison skipped away from Sal back to the top of the stairs. She hesitated at the top one foot wavering in mid-air over the top step. She cast Sal a sneaky sideways glance from the corner of her eye.  
"You might wanna take Dee out for breakfast Uncle Sal, Leah and I finished your eggs." She glared at him before rolling her eyes dramatically in their sockets. "Come on Uncle Sal get dressed; Dee's in the kitchen. Leah, Leah!" She called as the tip of toe connected with the top step, and she hurtled down the stairs at a breakneck pace. "Get your jacket and shoes on Mom'll be here soon." Sal retreated into his bedroom leaning his back against the door as his eyes fell on Dee's jeans folded neatly on top of his sweat pants and shirt on the bedroom chair. He strode to his draws where he quickly located fresh boxers and socks tossing them onto the bed before he headed for the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush his teeth.  
Sal stood looping his belt through his jeans then buckling it before sliding his fingers between his bedroom curtains to take a quick look out of the window. It seemed like just another typical quiet Summer Sunday morning in his neighbourhood. He yanked his head through his tee then pushed his arms through the sleeves. Taking the plain neutral coloured material of the curtains in his hands again he quickly swished them wide open. Bright sunlight poured into the room hitting him full in the face. It warmed his skin briefly as he shut his eyes against the brightness. They were startled open only moments later by the screech of brakes and a horn blaring loudly. All these years and he still wondered how the hell his sister had ever managed to pass her drivers test. Another blare of the horn sounded echoing around the street in the still Summer sunshine. A group of birds twittered their protest at being disturbed and flew off into the bright blue cloudless sky from the tree that was across the road from Sal's house. He watched Leah rush down the short path towards the parked car. Madison followed at a slower pace. She stopped on the way just before she got to the open car door and turned to look up. It was like she knew he was watching from the window. Madison pointed at herself jabbing her index finger into her chest; then she flicked two fingers from her eyes up to where she knew Sal was watching. Next, she pointed her finger directly up at the window. Then she made a stupid kissy face going slightly cross-eyed in the process before laughing and turning and getting into the car. The door thudded shut loudly in the quiet street. His sister quickly pulled away from the sidewalk as Sal sighed and turned away from the window. Was it too much to hope that Madison wouldn't spill the beans about Dee staying over? He rammed his phone into his pocket and went in search of Dee.  
Stepping into the hall from his stairs, Sal could hear the sounds of activity in his kitchen. Sal poked his head around the kitchen door and froze. Dee had her back to him and was in front of the kitchen sink. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes took her in. She was barefoot, wearing just her blue shirt, her dark hair was loose swishing just below her shoulders as her body swayed in time to the music she was playing on her phone. Sal's eyes travelled from her ankles up the back of her shapely calves and thighs as she gently sang along to The Temptations.  
But it was just my 'magination, once again  
Running away with me  
Tell you it was just my ' magination,  
Running away with me.  
The sway of her hips as she danced exposed a tantalising glimpse of her bum and Sal caught the slight glimpse of lace from her knickers across her bum cheeks as she moved. Sal thought she looked so damn hot; he was spellbound, inclining his head to one side Sal just stood there watching her admiring the view.  
"God, Dee." He managed to say finding his voice. " I could get used to finding you in my kitchen, barely dressed shaking your bootie. It's so damn hot; I'm surprised the kitchen isn't on fire! " Dee turned her head flicking her hair over her shoulder to glance at Sal. With her hands in the warm soapy water of the sink, Dee had jumped a little at the sound of his voice, not realising he was there.  
"Hey. I er made Madison and Leah some breakfast, hope you don't mind. I got sprung coming out the bathroom earlier." Dee said cringing at the reminder.  
She'd woken early her body relaxed against Sal's sleeping form her face still close to his chest. Sighing Dee had leant back to look into his sleeping face. She'd got so used to him being unattainable, but that had changed the moment his niece had opened the door the evening before. She remembered the feeling that had fizzed through her body as she'd taken Ethan from him. Their eyes had locked briefly, and Dee had known from his intense stare exactly where the night would finish for them both. She'd watched him sleeping for a while longer until the need for the bathroom was too much. Eventually, she'd sat up running her fingers through her hair as she slipped out of bed.  
She'd stood in front of the sink in Sal's bathroom in just her knickers and shirt and had cleaned her teeth with her finger and a blob of toothpaste. Dee had then stepped out onto the small landing at the same time as Leah opened the spare bedroom door. Leah had stood rubbing the sleep from her eyes as Dee spun her a line about falling asleep on the sofa. Leah had shrugged her shoulders not really listening as she'd reached for the bathroom door handle. Madison, however, had eyed Dee with a suspicious glare. Dee had felt Madison's eyes boring into her back as she'd walked to the top of the stairs the girls gaze never faltering from her. Rather than going back into the bedroom Madison had stood on the landing her arms folded squinting her eyes at Dee as she'd started to walk down the stairs. Dee had stepped off the bottom step turning her gaze up to find Madison standing arms still folded her dark eyes assessing Dee like some kind of pre-pubescent guard dog.  
Dee had ended up sitting on the sofa her feet tucked underneath her legs wondering what to do. She felt caught off guard like an uninvited guest in somebody else's house.  
"I'm hungry." Dee had jumped startled from her thoughts at the sound of Leah ' s voice. Leah was stood in the living room doorway, fully dressed. "Will you make me some breakfast? "  
"Please, Leah. Where're your manners at?" Madison had appeared behind her sister then her gaze running swiftly over Dee. "Uncle Sal won't mind. You can cook can't you?" She'd asked her eyes were turning to slits as she'd stared at Dee. "Our mom makes the best omelettes and scrambled eggs. Can you cook an egg? Or is it that you can't even boil one?"  
"I can do a poached egg to perfection." Dee had shot back feeling intimidated that she was questioning her cooking abilities.  
"We'll have that then," Madison said giving Dee a quick small tight smile before steering Leah towards the kitchen.  
Dee had pushed herself up from the sofa with a heavy sigh. She'd slowly headed towards the kitchen already having pretty serious misgivings about the whole poached egg situation. The two girls had sat at the kitchen table scrutinising her every move, Madison giving detailed direction to where she'd find things in Sal's kitchen. All the while Dee had to field question after question. Interrogated during cooking by Sal's nieces was worse than Angie interrogation. At least she could tell Ang to f- off Dee had thought. She'd reached over to place a plate down in front of each girl sighing with relief as they'd eaten.  
Dee had just turned the tap on at the sink when she'd heard Madison call out that her mom was here it pick her up closely followed by the front door shutting. Dee's gaze searched out the window at the blue of the sky that stretched over Sal's neighbour's rooftops. The blueness was only broken intermittently by wispy white clouds as Dee had turned the tap off. The music she was playing was a distraction from her thoughts. Twenty-four hours ago she'd been avoiding talking to Cait about Sal, and now here she was, the morning after the night before elbow deep in soapy suds at his sink in his house.  
"They think I slept on the sofa. I said it was too warm last night for a blanket; I think I got away with it." Dee said flashing Sal that dazzling smile of hers.  
"I wouldn't bank on that if I were you, Dee," Sal said as he walked up behind her and grabbed one of her ass cheeks. He squeezed it lightly with his fingertips. He brought his lips to the right side of her neck and placed a trail of kisses from the base of her eye lobe down her neck and back up again.  
"Why do you say that?" Dee asked inclining her head as Sal's lips trailed over her delicate skin, her stomach fluttered at the feel of him pressed close into her. Sal snaked an arm around her waist under the shirt his hand cupping her left breast.  
"Madison's on to us. " Sal said his breath was tickling her ear as his lips brushed the side of her neck. Dee leant back into him as he kissed and touched her. As much as Sal hoped that Madison would keep quite, he doubted very much that, that was going to happen. Sal didn't want to share; he had in mind to try and keep things with Dee just between themselves for as long as he possibly could without any family interference.  
"And there it is," Sal stated heavily as his phone came alive in his Jean pocket. "Jeez, a whole twelve minutes, I'm surprised it took her that long." Dee just about managed to twist around to face him; his body was pressed so close to hers.  
"Are you gonna get that? " Dee breathed through a moan as his thumb and finger twisted and flicked her nipple.  
"Nope. It's just my sister; bitch can wait. You hungry Dee? Wanna get some breakfast? " He stared at Dee his eyes roaming over her face to focus on her lips.  
"Keep that up, and I think breakfast will be more like brunch," Dee said her fingers gripping hold of the sink behind her.  
"I don't mind."Sal shrugged. "You could make it supper for me."

"Leah ' s been sick mom," Madison announced almost as soon as she slid into the back seat of the car next to Leah. "She ate too much ice-cream and puked up last night." Madison gripped hold of the edge of her seat as her body was forced backwards with the speed of the car.  
"Oh, I bet Uncle Sal really appreciated that Leah. You should know by now too much diary makes you sick. I should ban you from eating any ice-cream period Leah."  
"That's not fair," Wailed Leah. "Why'd you rat on me, Madison? I hate you!"  
"Don't say that about your sister Leah. I never told your Uncle Sal or your Auntie Jenna I hated them, did I, Jenna? " An unbelieving huffing noise escaped through Jenna's pursed lips her eyes completely focused on the screen of the phone she held between her fingers, her thumbs working with lightening speed over the touch screen.  
"Are you okay now sweetheart? You don't feel like throwing up now do you?" She asked over her shoulder as she cruised the car to a standstill at a stop sign.  
"No, mom. I had a stomach ache last night, though. Dee says peppermint waters good for an upset stomach mom, can you get some?"  
"Mom," piped up Madison. "Is it weird adding vinegar to the water when you poach an egg? That's what Dee did this morning when she made us breakfast. I thought you'd be able to taste the vinegar in the egg, but you can't. Is that right mom?"  
"Now hold up a minute there girls. Do you mind backing up just a touch and telling me, who the fuck Dee is?"  
"Mom said a bad word!" Leah sing songed sniggering behind her hand. "You promised dad you wouldn't use bad language in front of us, mom." Leah's remark made her mom push her foot down on the accelerator a little too eagerly as the stop sign changed to go.  
"Your father isn't here, so come on, who the fuck ' s Dee?"  
"That's two dollars you owe the swear jar when we get home mom."  
"Never mind about that Madison, neither one of you two seems to be answering my question."  
"Dee's the relief babysitter." Madison chimed up."Yeah......and then some."She added not quite under her breath.  
"What's that supposed to mean Madison? Her mom's voice was getting slightly shouty. "Do you know anyone called Dee, Jenna?" She took one hand off the steering wheel and gave her sister a swift push on the top of her shoulder with the flat of her hand.  
"Ow, that hurts! No, I don't know anyone called Dee. I've never heard Sal mention anyone named Dee either. Can you maybe keep two hands on the wheel and concentrate on the traffic and please stop shouting it's making my head hurt." Jenna was nursing the faint beginnings of a headache mainly brought on by the hangover she'd woken up with that morning. Her sisters quivering shouty voice wasn't adding anything to the throbbing pain in her temples. It was just making the pain in her head ten times worse.  
"What's wrong with you Jenna? Can't stand the pace now your past the thirty mark? "  
"Remind me, exactly how old are you again? You can't even remember being thirty-one, can you? That was way back in the mists of time when the X-box 360 was new; American Idol was still popular, and you went everywhere in your juicy trackie. "  
"Shut the fuck up Jenna." She hissed through gritted teeth.  
"That's three dollars, mom. Dee's a dancer."  
"She talks funny too," Leah added.  
"Oh my God! Sal's hooked up with a Russian pole dancer! Jenna make yourself useful and call Sal." She took her hand off the wheel again and indicated Jenna's phone waving her fingers in the air.  
"What? Now?" Jenna asked cradling her phone protectively against her chest.  
"Yes now. I want to know exactly what Sal's playing at messing with an erotic dancer, stupid jerk. " Jenna sighed and began to flick through her contacts.  
"It's ringing."  
"Put it on speaker then Jenna." 

"Is it straight?" Cait asked stepping back to stand next to Q. He was standing a couple of feet in front of Cait's bookcase studying the Harley Quinn print that now hung above it.  
"Yeah, looks spot on to me Cait." On the top shelf of the bookcase underneath the print lay the hand decorated Harley Quinn baseball bat that had been Cait's leaving present from the Manchester Royal Infirmary. Interspersed across the top shelf were different Harley Quinn figures. From a roller derby Harley Quinn action figure, to a chess piece, to a pop! Head and even a Lego Harley Quinn.  
"Nice Harley Quinn shrine." Q smiled nodding his head his arms folded across his chest.  
"It's not too much, is it? " Cait asked swiping Q a sideways glance her hazel eyes wide with concern.  
"Nah. I like it, it screams watch out for the Harley Quinn fanatic. It has Caitlin Cross written all over it."Q replied walking over towards the door before stopping. He turned to Cait and leant nonchalantly against the doorframe.  
"Wanna try for that movie again tonight?"Cait roamed her eyes over Q as she came to stand next to him in the doorway. Her nostrils flared slightly as the tempting scent of him filled her scenes.  
"I'll give it a go. Or though I could have other plans."  
"Other plans?"Q asked his brow raised in question.  
"I have in mind to keep you here, and fuck you senseless for the entire night."  
"Oh, I like your plan. You really are a nympho nurse aren't you?"  
"Hey, I've had to make do with just thinking about you for six long months now you're here in the flesh, I intend to make up for lost time."  
"Well," Q smiled as he lifted her chin slightly giving her a light kiss. "That works for me," he added deepening the kiss, making Cait tremble all the way down to her toes. Lifting his mouth from hers, he gazed deep into her hazel eyes and Cait felt her heart beat faster."Listen Cait," Q's dark eyes became serious never leaving hers." I wanna do this properly. I don't just wanna be friends with benefits or fuck buddies or whatever they're calling it this week. I wanna do the whole date thing, go to the movies with you, take you to dinner, do the just hanging out thing with you."  
"Are we making this official Brian?"  
"Yeah, yeah I think we are. I should tell you, though, you've only seen the best of me that's if there is a best...." Her brow furrowed as she pursed her lips at him. " You've not seen the the worst of me; I can be a moody, cranky bastard you prepared for that Cait?" Q said hoarsely his arms tightening around Cait as he leant his forehead against hers. Cait felt the warmth from his body it felt so good to be in his arms. Automatically Cait's arms moved up to his shoulders clinging to him as his lips found hers again. Q's tongue pushed inside her mouth, and Cait answered his kiss. Her right hand roamed over his chest before stopping over his heart. She could feel his heart hammering through the thin t-shirt material as she broke the kiss.  
" Yeah, I think I can handle moody, cranky Brian. " She said smoothing her hands over his chest. "Now Brian your never gonna get these errands of yours run if you keep kissing me like that will you?" Cait sighed breathing deeply. She really didn't want to let him go, but she knew he had things to do.  
"I know." Q groaned deeply. "But you can't blame a guy for trying. I'll text you when I'm done, come pick you up for that movie."  
"Definitely? "Cait asked cocking an eyebrow.  
"Definitely. "  
"No getting sidetracked?" Cait smiled as Q made an undecided noise in his throat.  
"No getting sidetracked." But his dark eyes sparkled faint lines crinkling around them as he winked at Cait. "I'll try my best."  
"I'll see you out." Cait laughed moving towards the front door.

"You know your gonna have to speak to them sooner or later don't you?" Dee said pushing the small gate open and holding it open behind herself. Sal followed her taking hold of the gate and stepping through before shutting it behind him. Dee had lost count how many times his phone had rung. From the first time in Sal's kitchen that morning all the way through to the diner. He was being bombarded with text messages too. Dee had watched him in the diner as they'd eaten breakfast. Frustrated Sal had blown out a long breath, and had sighed deeply before turning his phone face down on the table top. Eventually, he'd switched it to aeroplane mode, knowing full well that would really piss them off. Sal had switched aeroplane off after the diner though. The first pangs of guilt gnawing at him as he knew full well he couldn't keep his phone on silent for too long.   
Sal followed Dee stepping from one sun-drenched step to another towards Cait's front door. The top step was wide making for a curved vestibule around the front door. It afforded cool shade from the high summer sun as Sal moved slowly towards Dee. Taking hold of her hand, Sal stopped her pressing the door bell. Dee's stomach fluttered as she gulped in her throat. He manoeuvred her into the dark corner by the door.  
"I've got this insane idea of just turning right around and taking you back to my place like right now. You don't know how much you're making my life hell right now."  
"Hell?" She questioned a puzzled expression furrowing her brow.  
" Dee I feel like I've had a constant hard on since last night."  
"Sounds painful." Dee smiled in relief biting her bottom lip to suppress a smile.  
"You're laughing at me you evil woman."  
"No, I'm not." Dee laughed.  
"Yes, you are," Sal said his face only inches from hers as he tried to look angry and failed. He tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear and drew her chin up to place a slow tender kiss on her lips. Dee strained into him her mouth opening willingly as his insistent tongue pushed inside. Sal knew he should stop. He was expected at his dad's; he was already late as it was. Reluctantly he broke the kiss. "I really should go. My dad's gonna be so pissed off. I should've been at his half an hour ago."  
"You should go then." Dee agreed. She continued to stare into his green eyes.  
"I don't want to." Sal moaned. "I want you, Dee. Time's against us again." Sal sighed his eyes falling from her gaze. He flicked his eyes down to Dee's hand the vest top she'd worn the night before bunched up in her fist. He swung his eyes back up locking on Dee's dark stare before his mouth took hers again. Dee kissed him back winding her arms around his neck. They kissed with desperation both in the knowledge that time was ticking away from them second by second, minutes by minute as they stood engrossed in each other on Cait's doorstep. Neither wanted to think about the next two weeks coming to an end.  
"Will you two please stop making out on my doorstep. What are the neighbours gonna think?" Cait's stern voice laced with a mocking laugh came to Dee through the shaded shadows of the vestibule.  
"Aren't you supposed to be at your dad's? " Q asked eyeing Sal's back and shoulders as his friend slowly extracted himself from Dee. He took hold of Sal by the upper arm and gently directed him down the steps. Dee stepped out from the shadowed corner of the vestibule to stand next to Cait.  
"How was the movie? Dee asked her eyes watching Sal and Q walk down the short path to open the gate.  
"Don't know, didn't go. Going tonight instead. How was babysitting?"  
"Different to any other babysitting I've ever done before," Dee replied as Sal turned to grin up at her from the sidewalk.  
"Weren't you wearing those clothes last night?" Dee asked staring straight ahead not looking at Cait. "Shut up," Cait replied not looking at Dee either. "I can see your nipples!" Cait smirked nudging her friend's elbow with her own. "Do you know what you're doing? Have you really given any thought to where you want things to go with Dee? "Q asked as Sal turned his attention to him from staring at Dee. He shielded his eyes with his hand from the bright sunshine to stare into his friend's concerned dark eyes.  
"I'm not a fuckin' idiot Bri, it's not just sex, unlike you....." He stopped as Q rounded on him.  
"Unlike me? What's that supposed to mean? You think I just want her for the sex? Well, for your information dude, we just made it official. Welcome to the era of Q and Cait." Sal's jaw went slack for a moment before he turned it into a broad smile.  
"You really went there? You've actually dipped your toe into the ocean and caught your fish."  
"Dipped my toe in? " Q nodded thinking. " I like it, but dude I've dived straight in. Man, it feels good to get thoroughly wet. What about you Sally boy? Still dilly dallying at the water's edge?"  
"Oh, I'm doing just fine thanks. My fish is on the line I 've just got to figure out a way to reel it in." Sal said his gaze was turned back to where Dee stood next to Cait.  
"Good luck with that dude." Q stated dryly. "Now can we quit it with the fish and ocean metaphors I've really gotta get on."  
"Yeah, sure me too." They separated moving to their cars each lost in their own thoughts.


	30. So alive, so alone.

"When do you anticipate making a decision?" Cait asked resting her hazel eyes directly on the woman sat straight facing her. She was trying to hold eye contact without looking like she was staring. The woman shuffled her small frame in her seat slightly. She held a pen in her left hand and was absently doodling on the paper on the desk in front of her. Karen Pierce regarded Cait with bright azure blue eyes her small round framed glasses perched on the very tip of her nose. Both Viv and Wes had described Karen as bubbly, friendly with a huge passion for nursing and fiercely loyal to her team. On first sight, when Cait had taken the seat across the table from the five-panel interviewing team, Cait's first impression had been more Scary Mary than Mother Teresa. With her sharp angular features, close-cropped grey hair and small glasses, there was no sign of emotion in her expression as the interview had begun. Her small mouth never once broke into a smile and Cait was not getting the feeling of a friendly, bubbly personality at all. The other four members of the interview panel were all senior nursing staff on the unit. Karen had hand picked each member herself to help in the interviewing process. The week before they'd interviewed three suitable perspective applicants from the internal applications. Today they were interviewing four more candidates from outside the Radutzsky. Cait's interview was the last one scheduled for the day  
"My colleagues and I will be making our final decision within the next couple of days Miss Cross. Monique's last shift ends over the weekend of the 16th and 17th of September. We anticipate having filled the position for the start of the next shift which will be the 21st of September. There will be a short induction and orientation period beginning on the...." Karen stopped swinging her eyes to her colleague sat on her right.   
"That will be the 13th of September Karen; it's a Wednesday." Karen nodded in response to her colleague.  
"One finally question Miss Cross, before we bring this interview to a close." Karen stopped doodling on the paper and placed the pen down making sure it lay straight."If you could pick two celebrity parents, who do you think you would choose?" Cait lowered her eyes to stare at her hands, her fingers clasped together in her lap. She wasn't trying to avoid Karen's eyes but was trying to hide the slight smile that was threatening to break out into a huge grin on her face.  
The evening before, a huge Chinese take-out order spread over her dining room table Cait had listened to Joe and Murr go through countless different stupid interview questions. Opening her front door to Q and Sal, Cait knew already that Murr and Joe were tagging along. Joe would have been quite happy to head off straight home after their meeting, but Murr wouldn't hear of it. He'd had two dates with blue hair from the Roller Derby, but he'd not heard from her for a week now. Murr had bombarded her with texts to no avail, the realisation that he'd been blown out finally sinking in. He wanted to go drinking. He wanted to drown his sorrows about how shit his love life was and drink himself into oblivion which wouldn't have taken long, the mood he was feeling. Instead, Q reached out to him and invited him along to Cait's as Sal threw him a disgusted glare. Sal really hadn't fancied spending the evening listening to Murr slurp his way through Wanton Noodle Soup. They'd headed towards Brooklyn from Manhatten in a three-car convoy, stopping locally to pick up Chinese on the way. Q had mouthed a sorry to Cait, but she'd just shrugged that it was okay, as Murr had thrown his arms around her in a tight hug.  
Joe and Murr had been convinced that she'd get asked something ridiculous in the interview and thought that she should be prepared. Joe had asked her which superpower she would like? Cait had answered that she'd have the power of healing. Then he'd asked what ice-cream flavour Cait would be? Cait's reply had been strawberry; she'd laughed at the grimace that crossed Dee's face at the mention of strawberry ice-cream. Murr had then asked which kitchen utensil she would be? After thinking for a moment while Joe and Murr had discussed the merits of a pizza cutter opposed to a whisk Cait had decided she was a spoon, adding that she thought she was a well-rounded person. Murr had ended by asking Cait how she would rate him as an interviewer? Cait had told him not to give up the day job.  
Lifting her gaze Cait's eyes scanned over the other four faces intently watching her as she locked eye contact with Karen. She could just detect a slight playful smile at the corner of Karen's mouth as she settled her blue eyes unwavering on Cait.  
"I know he's dead, but I'd always thought my celebrity dad choice would be Robin Williams. My celebrity mum would be Helen Mirren." Cait sat back in her chair waiting as Karen nodded without saying anything.   
"Thank you Miss Cross," Karen smiled standing and stretched her hand out towards Cait. She rose from her seat and reached across the desk to take Karen's hand in a firm grip trying not to squeeze her fingers or shake too vigorously. Cait shook hands with the other panel members too.  
"Thank for seeing me. I enjoyed our meeting Ms Pierce," Cait smiled her hazel eyes warmly settling again on Karen. " I look forward to hearing from you soon." Cait moved around the chair walking towards the door. Stepping through, she let out an audible sigh as the door clicked closed behind her. Cait decided not to take the lift down. Instead, she headed for the stairs. She felt hot, the material of the trousers suit jacket was beginning to irritate the clammy skin of her arms. Pushing through the doors onto the stairwell, she quickly yanked off the jacket. Slipping the bobble from her hair, Cait ran her fingers through it to loosen the braid that Dee had done in her hair that morning. Cait took a slow walk down the stairs. Coming around the corner from the lifts, Cait hadn't moved far through the reception area when she heard her name being called. Turning Cait found Issac jogging up towards her.  
"Hey, Cait how'd the interview go?"   
"Issac." Cait beamed. "Have Viv and Wes got you on the look out for me?" She asked cocking her head with the question as she folded her arms.  
"No, no not at all Cait. I'm on a break; I'm just on my way back now. "  
"I think it went okay, I think. Oh I dunno Issac, Karen Pierce seems like a difficult person to read." Cait sighed her shoulders slumping.  
"Karen can be a tough cookie till you get to know her. Are you off home?"  
"Yeah, a friend of mines picking me up." Issac raised an eyebrow.   
"Would that be your 'friend' in the red Jeep Wrangler Cait?" Issac asked stuffing his hands into his work trouser pockets. He knew Cait's friend was much more than just a friend. "Is he your boyfriend? "  
Cait thought, Brian was neither a boy or just her friend. He was a forty-one-year-old man. Despite being forty-one Cait has a sneaking suspicion that he was definitely in touch with his inner child. She just couldn't associate Brian with the awkward image of an adolescent boy. Cait had struggled with age appropriate words since they'd decided to give things a shot. Partner, she just didn't like. Lover, made it sound like their relationship was just based on the physical, which was quite close to the mark as they were very physical. Soul mate seemed too new age sounding. Brian was Brian, a man, her man.   
"Boyfriend? " Cait questioned Issac cringing as she said the word. "I'm not an awkward teenager anymore, Issac. His names Brian, so I'd rather use his name than an inappropriate label."She could tell he was thinking over her words as the cogs of his brain tried to find an appropriate name and failed.  
"Seems like I might've missed getting an appropriate label from you Cait." Issac shrugged casting Cait a lingering glance before snapping his eyes away from hers. He focused his eyes on the floor staring at his sensible white work sneakers. There was a moment of awkward silence as Cait's eyes wandered down to her feet too. She tapped the toe of her left foot slightly. God, she couldn't wait to get these shoes off, she thought they were new and pinched her little toes too much. "Did they say when you'll know about the job?"Issac asked breaking the silence as he pulled his gaze up from the floor.  
"As soon as they've made a discussion Issac," Cait answered glancing up at Issac before straightening her gaze into his. " I get the impression they don't want to hang around too long."  
"Well, good luck Cait."Issac said backing away from her."I gotta go," he added thumbing over towards the lifts." Drinks on the patio when you get the job Cait?" he called over his shoulder.  
"When? Don't you mean if?"  
"Nope." He called out just before he rounded the corner out of her sight. "Definitely when Cait, think positively. " He ended as he disappeared from Cait's view. Cait headed for the exit, turning a right to where she knew Q was waiting to pick her up.

 

"How'd it go?"Q asked surveying Cait from across the small round white table between them. They sat facing each other in The Hungry Ghost on Sterling Place in Brooklyn. Cait sat back into the comfy leather tub chair. Her eyes followed people through the window where they sat as they hurried by along the sidewalk.   
"Rubbish." Cait murmured quietly, swinging her gaze from the window to Q. "I think I could have done better. Some of the answers I gave were so lame; I'm cringing inside just thinking about them. I hate interviews, Brian. I'll most probably get a thanks but no thanks letter in the mail by the end of the week."  
" Personally I think you probably aced it and smashed the other applicants out of the park with your experience." Cait knew he was right; she was just too harsh on herself. She shuffled herself forward in the tub chair. Perching her bum on the edge of the seat, Cait leant forward contemplating the coffee in front of her. The fancy leaf design floated bubbly on top of the frothy brew. She inhaled the strong aroma through her nose, reluctant to take a sip and disturb the leaf. Cait was startled from her thoughts by her phone coming alive. She'd placed it on the table, and it was now vibrating closer to the edge of the table top with every ring.  
"Answer it then." Q urged sipping his tea as Cait just stared at the screen.  
"I don't recognise the number....." She stammered peering at the screen.  
"Could be The Radutzky Cait, answer the damn thing."  
"Oh shit!" Cait gasped snatching the phone up she accepted the call. " Hello.......yes this is Caitlin Cross........Karen! I'm sorry I didn't except to hear from you so soon......I see......yes thank you......in writing? Yes, I understand.........Thank you, Karen, for letting me know so promptly. No problem, thank you again."   
"Well?" Q asked his voice laced with concern. He'd been trying his damnedest to brighten Cait's dampened spirits after the interview. From the look on her face, his buoyant optimism for her was fizzling out rapidly. Cait placed the phone gently back down onto the table, reached for her coffee and took a huge mouthful. The dark liquid had cooled sufficiently not to scold her mouth, and Cait held it there before she let it trickle down her throat.   
"That was Karen, from the interview Brian," Cait said gulping the coffee quickly down. She just offered me the job; you're officially looking at the Radutzky's newest Registered Nurse Caitlin Cross." Her smile widened, lighting her face up as her eyes danced. She stared at Q across the table the banging of her heart slowly claiming down.  
"You've got a bit..... " Q said indicating her top lip with his finger on himself. " Let me." He said. Q leant across the small table and wiped the milk froth from Cait's lip with his thumb the hammering of her heart sped up again as he gazed deep into her eyes. The sun streamed through the coffee shops window bathing Cait's face with its warm rays. He'd seen so much shining in her face, just lately from passion to laughter sometimes a little seriousness but today, at this moment she looked so happy and alive. He was caught in the moment for a brief minute almost forgetting where they were as he brushed a stray strand of her hair from dangling across her eye.  
"Let's celebrate Nurse Cait. I'm taking you out to dinner tonight." Q smiled his eyes brightly lit as he snapped himself out of his reverie.

Dee sat on the edge of Cait's bed watching her get ready for her dinner date with Q. Cait stood in front of the full-length mirror as she leant in and applied lip gloss to her mouth. She stepped back smoothing her hands over her hips feeling the silky material glide against her skin. She turned and glanced in the mirror from over her shoulder.  
"No, Cait," Dee said rolling over onto her side resting her hand on her palm as she dug her elbow into the mattress. "Your bum does not look big in that. Your bum looks perfect in that dress."   
"It's not too much is it?" Cait asked. The dress was a simple halter necked low backed gold silk creation that complemented the flicks of golden hi-lights in her chestnut hair and made her honey tanned skin glow. "Brian said he's taking me somewhere fancy, but how fancy I don't know."  
"Cait, you look amazing in that dress. Swanky restaurant or down the local burger bar, either way, you'll knock everybody else's socks off. Didn't you get that dress for a party, a couple of years back?"  
"Yeah. I think I bought it to wear at Holly Wright's 40th birthday party. We worked together at Queen's Med; I believe you meet her once Dee."  
" Ginger hair and glasses?" Dee asked rolling onto her front on Cait's bed. "Bowlegged too. A pig could've run through her legs, and she wouldn't have known it." Dee smirked.  
"Last I heard she was still at Queens Med. She got married for the second time about eighteen months ago. God Dee, it feels like a lifetime ago since I worked at Queen's." Cait sighed wistfully thinking back to that time when her life and Dee's had revolved around two completely different men to what they did now. Cait cast Dee a quick glance through the mirror; she was really going to miss her when she flew home in a weeks time.  
Dee was glad for Cait, but was it wrong of her to feel a slight stab of envy? It seemed Cait's life was finally coming good. New home, new job, making things official with Q, things were coming together for her friend, the exact opposite of her life. An empty home, no job, not quite knowing where things were heading with Sal. She could already feel her heart tightening at the thought of the loneliness that was waiting for her back at her quite house in the UK.  
How was it when there was something on the horizon that you dreaded, time seemed to hurtle towards it. The past week for Dee had gone too quickly; the realisation that she had only eight days left was playing on her mind. The days were disappearing away from her; Dee knew that before she knew it, she'd have to leave for the airport, to fly home alone knowing that nobody was waiting for her at the other end. She was trying not to think about it, but these thoughts kept sneaking into head all the time as it got closer to her leaving.  
Dee followed Cait out of her room as Cait padded along in bare feet her shoes swinging from her fingers. Glancing out of the front living room window, she watched a cab pull up, and Q stepped out onto the sidewalk.   
"Fuck, he's wearing a suit."  
"What's wrong with that?" Asked Dee as she sneaked a glance out of the window as Q came through the gate and approached the steps.   
"There's something about Brian in a suit that just does it for me, Dee. How am I supposed to get through a meal with him looking like that? When all I'll be able to think about is ripping his clothes off and....."  
"Stop right there Cait, that's way too much information for me thanks." Dee turned around from the window watching Cait slip her shoes on.   
"No Sal tonight?" Cait questioned picking her purse up and checking the contents.  
"No, he's got a pre-booked stand-up set tonight. I'm going to Skype the kids for a catch-up." Since the end of August Dee's time had been split between sightseeing with Cait and time spent with Sal, talking, laughing and just being together."Have fun." smiled Dee.  
"I will Dee. There's a bottle of wine in the fridge, help yourself." Cait called as she opened the front door to Q.  
"You look beautiful. " Q said to Cait as she pulled the door shut behind her. Cait blushed a little as Q put an arm around her waist and walked her down the path towards the waiting cab.   
"How's the new bathroom?" Cait asked once they were settled in the cab. She inclined herself into Q's side slightly needing to be close to him. His greying tousled hair sat just below his crisp white collar as Cait just stared into his mesmerising dark eyes. She was having trouble resisting the urge to jump him right there in the back of the cab. She thought talking about his bathroom refit would take her mind off what she wanted to do to him.   
"It's all done. The plumbers finished up this afternoon. It's friggin' awesome Cait. The floor tiles follow through into a walk in shower unit, and the shower..... Oh my Lord, Cait. There's the main shower head then jets come out the wall at different angles. I spent ages just letting the hot steamy water pummel my neck and shoulders; it felt so good. You should come over and break in my new bathroom like you did my kitchen Cait." Q chuckled chucking in a wink for effect.  
"Sounds like an offer I can't refuse."   
The cab ride was short. Cait didn't know where she was as she stepped out of the cab. The light from the street lamp next to her danced across her body in the early evening dusk. It was dark enough to trigger the street lights, yet Cait could still discern silhouetted shapes of the buildings around her as the greyness of Twilight made way for the darkness of night. Q took her hand as the cab left. Cait let him guide her as they walked together into an alley stopping in front of a door. It seemed Q was known here as the doorman inclined his head a notch in recognition.   
"Good evening Mr Quinn," gushed the tall Maitre'd. "This way sir, madam." he smiled at Cait leading them deep into the restaurant. Q followed the Maitre'd with Cait's arm on his. He sensed the other men in the restaurant watching them as they were lead passed. He felt a twinge of insecurity. He wondered if the other guys in the restaurant were thinking how the hell he'd managed to get a woman like Cait. Since they'd met again, he'd found himself questioning what she actually saw in him? It must be something he reasoned. He hadn't let any woman get this close or affect him in this way for a very long time. There was a connection between them, a certain something that he felt but couldn't quite pin down.   
The place was relatively quite just a few groups of people scattered around immaculately laid tables. The lighting was soft, the walls the colour of summer barley, the flooring was gold and the tables laid with red tablecloths. They were settled in a far corner at a table that offered discretion from prying eyes.  
Q ordered from the wine list, and Cait let him order for her from the menu. Dinner was wonderful and while she ate Cait couldn't help but stare at Q. She was mesmerised by the small flickering light of the candle. It glimmered off the crimson wine that Q swirled around in his glass before lifting it to his lips to take a sip. They both ordered decadent desserts. Q finished way before Cait, but she was taking her time on purpose. Slowly she ate the Baked Alaska meringue a spoonful at a time licking the spoon with the tip of her tongue deliberately. She slipped her shoes off and gently began stroking Q's thigh with her right foot. Edging higher with her toe's, Cait scooped chocolate ice-cream onto her spoon. Licking it off slowly, Cait moved her toes higher. Scooping up chocolate cake next Cait teased Q's cock through his pants with her big toe as she licked the spoon clean. Q had been startled at her first touch. The wine glass in his hand he jumped almost sloshing the contents a little as his dark eyes stared at Cait from across the table. A dryness came to his throat as he sat back enjoying the game she was playing a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Whatever Q had been about to say was gone, she instinctively knew how easy it was to distract him. His eyes watched as Cait flicked out the tip of her tongue to lick ice-cream from her lips giving him a raised eyebrow as she licked.   
"You keep that up, and I'm gonna shoot my load in my pants." Q groaned his cheeks were sporting a warm bloom. With the last spoon of Cait's dessert gone Cait's foot retreated from Q's groin as she slipped her shoes back on and stood up from the table.  
" Hmmmmm. Do you think this restaurant has got a broom cupboard, Brian? I think I need to find out." Cait leant forward to brush her lips against his ear. "I'm wet and want you right now Brian. It's been five days; I need you right now I can't wait."  
Q turned in his seat his eyes roaming over the Cait. The lighting accentuated her every curve as she sauntered between the tables away from him. Draining his glass in two quick gulps, Q went to pay the check.  
Cait headed towards the restrooms. She already knew there was a storage closet having been to the ladies rest room already. Grabbing the doorknob, it swung open into pitch darkness. She took two steps inside and turned. The patch of light from the corridor was blocked for a moment by Q's frame then disappeared as he shut the door and locked it from the inside. The light came on with a buzz Q's finger pressed on the switch. Cait stepped towards him to within touching distance. In an instant, they were all over each other. Carnal heated passion coursed through them, their mouths attacking each other with a ferocity neither could hold back. Cait laughed with exhilaration as Q pushed her up against the bare brick wall. Q held Cait against the wall with their kisses, his tongue probing her mouth with Cait's tongue circling his. Q's hands slid down over Cait's body, the material of her dress smooth against his palms. He took hold of the hem of Cait's dress and yanked it up over her hips in one swift movement. Cait's hands scrabbled at his waist line undoing the button and zipper on his pants. Cait shifted her legs back and forth, not breaking the kiss as her knickers fell to her ankles. Q's pants and boxers were bunched around his calves as Cait kicked her knickers away. She reached for his semi-hard cock as Q moved in between Cait's spread legs. Her hand stroking him Q paused momentarily letting out a deep sigh. She knew exactly what she was doing, the hardening of his cock showed it. Q's warm chocolate eyes bore into Cait's.  
"I need a......" he started to say his breath hot, his pulse racing.  
"No, no you don't Brian. We don't need those anymore. I've got it covered, now fuck me Brian so I can actually feel your cock inside me." Not waiting any longer, he reached his hands under her ass and lifted her up. Holding her up with her legs wrapped around his waist he guided his cock into her lowering her down as he felt her slickness slid down his shaft. Cait moaned into his shoulder biting him lightly through his shirt at the sensation of his unsheathed cock entering her. All Cait could think of was the way he felt inside her wet pulsing core. She thought she could hear here herself saying 'faster' and 'harder' as Q thrust his cock deep inside her.   
"Yes, yes, yes, uggghhhh fuck yessssss. " Cait groaned. "Don't stop. Don't you fuckin' stop."   
"Nope." Q panted gasping for breath." Wasn't planning on it, Caitlin." The contractions of her muscles around his cock, the urgency of their kisses and the energy radiating from their bodies were the most intense feelings he'd ever felt. Cait could feel his cock swell as his breathing shortened. Cait felt her orgasm beginning to build as her muscles clamped around his cock as Q let loose it sent her tumbling over the edge.  
"Yes! Yes!Goddd! FUCKKK!" Q came hard and long his whole body shuddering with every thrust as he emptied himself into her. Q could feel her pulsing against his cock as he slowed, they were eye to eye, nose to nose when they heard voices outside the door.  
They both turned their heads startled as the doorknob to the cupboard twisted and rattled. Q froze his cock pushed still into Cait. Their eyes wide neither moved. Whoever was at the door tried a little harder, but their muffled complaining voice moved away. Q's eyes started to crinkle at the corners. Cait could feel his cock jump in her as Q began to laugh. Cait bit her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing outright as his cock slipped from her.   
Separating Cait slid down the wall her legs felt too wobbly to hold her up anymore as her bum hit the cold tiles of the floor. Q sank to his knees in front of Cait his eyes closed in a sublime expression, catching his breath.  
"Fuck! I needed that!" Cait said a light giggle was running through her voice.  
"Me too," Q affirmed his eyes crinkling again as he let loose with an infection belly laugh. Cait couldn't hold back and joined in.  
"I think we should get outta here before whoever was trying the door comes back," Cait said claiming herself. He looked at her sat on the floor, her dressed bunched up around her waist, hair dishevelled.  
"You are so beautiful Caitlin. "  
"I bet you say that to all the semi-naked woman you find in restaurant broom cupboards." Cait laughed.  
"Only the one's called Caitlin," Q replied sorting his clothes out. He helped Cait up off the floor "Are you ready to go, or do you need a moment?"  
"I suppose," Cait said stuffing her knickers into her purse. She pulled him in and stole another kiss before they made their escape from the broom cupboard and restaurant.


	31. Just say it.

A chill breeze blew around them as Sal and Dee walked hand in hand back to Sal's house.The day had been hot, Summer trying to eke out one last warm day as Autumn approached. The sweet promise of a storm filled the air clouds darkening overhead as Sal's fingers gripped tightly to Dee's both picking up their pace hoping not to get caught in the rain.  
Already the trees summer hues were changing to scarlets and golds. In just a few weeks the trees they hurried along under would be bare, their naked branches reaching into the cold air. But Dee wouldn't see these trees don their Autumn coats; she was flying home the next day, this was her last night.  
Sal had managed to dodge his sisters for a full week. Fiercely protective of her personal life it was quite a different subject keeping his private life private from his sisters. Roping his mom into the equation hadn't helped, and he'd eventually told them all to back off. The idea that they had thought Dee was a Russian pole dancer had confused Sal. Then he'd put two and two together and fathomed that it was all Madisons doing, as she hadn't told anybody any different. Madison had just let her mom and Jenna think something that she knew wasn't true. It had been Leah who had set things straight. It didn't, however, make the situation any more palatable to his mom and sisters. What was he thinking? The consensus was that Dee was just an infatuation that he needed to work out of his system. When she flew home, they surmised that Sal would come to his senses and realise that any relationship with Dee was doomed.  
It started to thunder and then lighten before the rain started. It was slow at first as Dee and Sal quickly raced back to his house to escape the fast approaching downpour.  
Sitting on the bed in Cait's spare room for the last time that afternoon Dee's eyes had roamed slowly over her packed case and flight bag. It was Cait's induction and the start of her orientation in the morning. She had to be at the Radutzky for seven o'clock and would miss seeing Dee off on her flight home. Dee was all set to book a cab to take her to JFK, but Sal wouldn't hear of it. Somehow she'd agreed to spend her last night at his house with Sal driving her to the airport. Dee had agonised over this. The need to stretch out every last minute with Sal outweighed the rollercoaster feeling of trepidation she felt at saying goodbye in such a public place. Her luggage was now sat in Sal's hall, an ominously visible sign that their time together was coming to an end.  
Thunder rumbled closer as the rain fell on them in big heavy drops. Blue-white lightning split the sky followed moments later by the low crackle of thunder. A stillness settled around them, and for a moment everything seemed to stop as a jagged bolt of lightning split the sky. It lit up Sal's face as he stopped abruptly on the path that led up to his house. Dee let out an unchecked laugh thunder rumbling closer still as she took off her glasses. Dee's eyes sparkled as she smelt the sweet, pungent zing of the oncoming downpour on the wind. Sal pulled Dee into him. His kiss was soft, slow almost hesitant. The rain came from nowhere pouring down on them now as they kissed intently, tongues delving exploring each other. Their wet clothes soon clung to their bodies and just became a wet barrier between them. Another crack of thunder rumbled yet closer still. Sal pulled away to stare into Dee's almond eyes lightning illuminating her face momentarily.  
They almost fell through the front door in their haste to get in from the rain. Sal took his sodden hoodie off and dropped it on the floor followed by his sneakers and socks. Dee added her soggy flat black pumps to the growing wet pile. It felt like the storm was right above the house as blue light lit Sal's hall. The house seemed to shudder with the next loud crack of thunder.  
"I don't know why...." Dee began as Sal's lips connected teasing on the damp skin of her neck. "But thunder and lightning is a massive turn on for me." Concentrating on Dee, Sal pushed his instinctive scared reaction to the storm down. It was irrational, but it was the sonic boom of the thunder that shook him, but tonight through this storm with Dee he was determined not to let it show.  
"Maybe we should get out of these wet clothes ." He said slipping one spaghetti strap of Dee's dress from her shoulder. They stripped each other between heated kisses, sighing, gasping, moaning then laughing into each other's mouths as they stumbled through the living room. As the next streak of lightening lit their naked bodies briefly the back of Sal's calves hit the sofa and he flopped down.Resting her knees either side of his thighs Dee sat straddled across Sal's lap. He nipped at her wet flesh just below Dee's right ear lobe. She shuddered, her heart pounding in her ears. Closing her eyes, Dee relished the feeling of Sal's nakedness against her. She arched her back pushing her hard nipples into his chest. After tomorrow her life would be separate from his. She was absorbing every last moment of their final time together to her memory. She twined her fingers in his damp hair, as Sal bent his head and captured a nipple between his teeth. His tongue licked around her nipple in slow circles before sucking it back into his mouth. Sal was already hard from their kisses and caresses. The head of his cock teased Dee's wet opening; his hands cupped around her bum cheeks forcing her closer to him his fingertips digging into her soft flesh. Their faces were close together their hot breath mingling as Dee a flexed her fingers along his upper arms resting them on her shoulders.  
"I haven't got a......."  
"Don't worry," Dee's nails dug into his shoulders. "Do you trust me?" She asked her brown eyes staring straight into his. The only sound was the rain lashing against the window.  
"Yes."  
"Then trust me, Sal, it's safe." Dee knew her body, knew the time to watch out was long passed. " She reached her hand between their hot bodies as she wrapped her hand around him and guided the soft, smooth head of his cock down her wet slit.  
"Oh my fuckin' God!" Sal gasped his eyes flickering closed as his head fell back against the softness of the sofa.  
"I could always go get......"  
"No. No, Dee, I don't want you to stop." Lightning lit them again. Dee's dark eyes locked with Sal's the blue-white light making his green eyes an almost emerald colour as Dee guided the head of his cock into her. She stopped waiting.  
" You're teasing me, Dee." Sal's voice rasped against her ear as his lips kissed along her jaw line.  
"I learnt from the best." Dee murmured. " How much more do you want? This much?" She asked lowering herself down a little onto his shaft. "Or this much?" Dee sucked in a deep breath then biting her lip she let it out slowly as she took him completely inside her.  
The gap was longer before thunder rumbled this time the storm moving away. The first touch of Dee's warmness on Sal's cock had him almost coming right then. He held her as Dee began to ride him. Sal groaned as Dee started off rocking leaning back then leaning forward. She was breathing hard as she rolled her hips she could feel her face glowing. Her hips gyrated as her muscles clenched him tightly as her pace quickened. They kissed deeply, tongues swirling together while their bodies moved together and their hands searched, touched and caressed. Dee focused on every little feeling of bliss his cock was giving her. She could feel a powerful orgasm building inside of her and knew it wouldn't be long for both of them.  
"Ohhhhh fuck Dee."  
"Come with me Sal; I want to feel you come inside me." She could feel it happening as wave after wave of pleasure flooded through her body. At the same time, she felt Sal cock pulse as his body tensed and he came with a deep groan.  
Dee collapsed against him; all the strength drained from her. Sal stroked her hair and kissed the side of her face. They stayed like that for five minutes before Dee finally thought her legs would work. She pulled herself up to her feet and held out a hand to him. He took it and pulled himself up. Their bodies came together, and he found himself staring directly into her eyes. Sal noticed a mischievous glint in their dark depths.  
"Want to take a shower together? " Dee whispered.  
"Hmm " Sal murmured contentedly against her hair.

 

Cait knew that orientation could be boring. She wasn't a new grad, or new to nursing, either so she didn't have to do a math test or be tested on basic procedures. The morning session Cait had spent going over insurance, benefits, system-wide policies and rules. After lunch, she'd been showed how the lab worked at the Radutzky and then she'd been given a run through the computer system. Still to come over the next two days was unit orientation on the floor before she began her first shift the following week. Kitted out with blue scrubs nestling in her locker Cait was on her way out of the hospital when she'd heard her name being called. Q was picking up outside, and Cait almost pretended that she didn't hear her name being called, she didn't want to stop. Her step faltered though as she slowed her step. The owner of the voice calling out to her was getting closer.  
"Hi, " Cait turned around, and her heart sank a little. She recovered quickly though and smiled turned her best surprised grin into the face that was hovering now by her shoulder. "How are you?"  
"Oh my God, Cait. I thought it was you. I was like thinking, no it couldn't be you. I thought for a sec you'd got a double, but then I thought that was stupid. So how was Peru? And oh.....where was it again?"  
"Mexico, I went to Mexico after Peru." Her accent was already grating on Cait nerves. Cait let her drone on not really listening as she searched for a way to excuse herself from the conversation.  
"It's been so nice catching up with you again. But I 've got to dash; I've got a left waiting." Cait's eyes flicked to the woman who came to stand at Ruby's side as she took a step away finally seeing her chance to escape.  
"Who was that?" Carly asked pulling the baseball hat she wore lower down over clear grey darkly shadowed eyes.  
"Oh....that was just Cait she was on that placement I did in Cambodia earlier in the year." Carly nodded silently her eyes watching Cait's retreating.  
"How long you gonna be?" Ruby glanced at her watch.  
"Gimme about five, maybe ten at the most."  
"I'm gonna wait outside then Ruby, this place is stifling me." Ruby headed back into the Radutzsky and Carly headed outside.A Cool wind tickled Carly's cheeks small spots of rain peppering her face as stepped around the side of the entrance of the Radutzsky. Then she saw him. Q was standing on the other side of the road. His arms crossed over his chest as he leant nonchalantly against the side of his Red Jeep. Carly watched him raise his hand into the air in greeting, that old familiar feeling stirred in her stomach as her heart beat faster. Her eyes darted along the sidewalk locking on Cait as she lifted her arm waving in greeting to Q. Carly's eyes narrowed, her mouth setting into a tight thin line as Cait and Q kissed before climbing into theJeep and driving away.  
"Okay Carly, I'm all done." Ruby came to stand next to her sister. "Let's go home. Hey, you okay babe's?" Carly nodded as she quelled the trembling that coursed through her body.

 

The drive to JFK was quiet only the constant sound of the rain beating against the window, the slight swish of the window screen wipers on glass punctuating the quiet. It wasn't an awkward silence but more of a quiet between two people who knew that by the end of the day they would be apart again. Dee clamped her hands between her thighs and stared out of the window. She forced the lump in her throat down with a long swallow her gaze concentrating entirely on the moving traffic. Rain poured from the dark sky bouncing off the car's bonnet. Specks of smudged light from the passing traffic hypnotised Dee's heavy eyelids as she replayed the night before again in her head.  
They'd lain together in the early hours of the morning perfectly still in their aftermath. The rhythmic calming of their breathing was the only sound in the bedroom. The storm had long since passed over leaving behind a night of rain.  
"Dee..." Sal had murmured her name; his head cushioned on her right breast as Dee's fingertips had circled his hair around her fingers in a soothing motion.  
"Hmmmmm. "  
"I don't want you to leave."  
"I can't stay." Dee had sighed into the darkness of the room.  
"I know, Dee. That's why I've decided to get my ass in gear and take a chance."  
"A chance?"  
"Yeah," Sal had said as he moved up her body, so their faces were pressed close together. "I don't wanna lose you, Dee. I wanna take a chance on us, you and me. I want you to know that I'm deadly serious about this thing...."  
"But aren't long distance relationships always doomed? " Dee had said trying to see into his eyes in the dark as rain pelted against the window pane.  
"I'm 100% committed to doing this Dee. I'm gonna work my socks off to make it work. So, what do ya say Dee? You in?" So many different thoughts had swirled through her head. A long distance relationship was absolute madness. Could they make it work?  
"Yes." Dee had replied simply the single word seeming inadequate to truly express all the different conflicting emotions and thoughts that rushed through her mind. There was one thing that came to the forefront of her mind time and time again. But could she say it, should she say it? They both felt it; she knew this without a doubt. It was in his touch. The way his fingertips tucked her hair behind her ear. The feel of her hand in his sent electrifying pulses zinging through her body. Feeling his palms smooth down her waist holding her to him by the small of her back made Dee's insides melt. It was in his lips too. It was there when Sal's breath whispered softly close to her cheek. She felt it when Sal's soft lips moved to claim hers. These moments would send a warm fuzzy feeling growing inside her. Sal's smile would extend over his whole face his green eyes twinkling at Dee, and she could see how he felt reflected in his eyes. His eyes had been a dark muted green in the gloom their faces so close their noses touched. Maybe the best solution she'd reasoned was to leave it unsaid. It would only complicate matters right?  
Joe had been urging Sal to bring up the subject for days. He'd got used to Dee being around. Talking about a long distance relationship would have made the fact she was flying over three thousand miles away from him too real. If he didn't say it, then he could pretend it wasn't happening. The last night of her stay and Sal knew he couldn't leave it any longer. He wasn't thinking about things going wrong. It was a well-founded fear, and he was putting himself on the line here knowing he'd be crushed if it didn't work out. It was a palpable fear, and the thought was killing him. It was just one word, right? If he said it, it wasn't going to end the world; life would continue. Put into a sentence, three words total. He felt it; he knew he did. Sal was just so freaking afraid to say it. The repercussions were too much; God only knew what would happen after. Theirs was a situation where only time would tell. He would have gladly fast forwarded time to the moment when he could voice what he was feeling. He was impatient, but somehow Sal knew Dee understood, he knew she felt the same, afraid of the word that would open the floodgates, but he just couldn't say it right now.  
Dee had snuggled deeper into Sal's body laying there in his arms, her body languid and spent. She'd listened to his deep and steady breaths, felt the strong beat of his heart and worried about what the future would bring.  
Sal took the exit that would take him to the closest parking lot to terminal 4. Dee turned her head away not wanting to see him as he searched for a parking place. Clicking their seat belts off at the same time Dee found herself suddenly in Sal's arms. How she wished she could freeze time right there, right then.  
Screens of arrival and departure times blinked on the airport wall as Dee joined the line of people queuing at the check-in desk with their luggage and baggage. Dee's eyes roamed around the airport at the sea of faces moving in different directions. Small groups sometimes stopped, but mostly everybody else flowed around the tiled flooring of terminal 4 continuing on their way. She found her eyes drawn to a group of three darkly dressed men attracting a fair bit of attention. They all wore ridiculously tight ripped black jeans. One wore a tatty threadbare washed out denim shirt and striped vest underneath. He had short black hair, a full arm tattoo and a neck cuff as did the guy stood next to him. He wore a grey t-shirt with a ram's skull design on the front; he sported inch wide ear stretched in both ears. They seemed to be having an animated conversation with the third guy. Dressed completely in black with long black hair, he had a wide brimmed hat on. With his chiselled features, eyes smokey shadowed and lined in black he liked like Russell Brandon and Lisbeth Salander love child. He scowled at his friends gave them both the finger and stormed off still gesturing at them as he went.  
The noise of the airport seemed to flood Dee's ears. Young and old voices mixed some subdued others excited. She heard suitcases on the conveyer belt as her eyes stared at the three guys now sat together sullen arms folded not speaking to each other.  
"Dee." She was pulled back from gawping by Sal's voice. "Dee." She didn't want to look at him. If she looked into his eyes, she knew she would fall apart. She'd dreaded this moment all day, and now it was here she didn't want to face it.  
Standing in Sal's hallway before they left for the airport Sal and Dee held each other's hands both remembering all the good times they'd had over the past few weeks. Neither had wanted the moment to end.  
"Promise me something, Dee. When you get back home, you've gonna tell your family about us. We should meet." Dee's eyes had gone wide, her mind already whirring around the idea of telling her family.  
"Promise," Dee affirmed." As long as you do the same, Sal."  
"I'm already planning it, Dee." Sal had pulled Dee into a tight hug kissing her then slowly, gently.  
"Say goodbye to me properly now Sal I don't want to do it at the airport." Dee had said breaking the soft kiss to look at Sal. Silently Sal kissed her again his tongue parting her lips kissing her deeply his body pressing her against his hall wall. It had left Dee in no doubt how much he wanted them to be together.  
She managed to turn to face him already feeling the prickling of tears. Dee blinked rapidly smiling sadly she leant into Sal and gave him the saddest kiss of their time together.  
"Call me when you get to Toronto." Dee gave a silent nod pressing her face into his chest. "Call me when your flight lands in the UK too," Sal added gently pushing Dee away from him, so he could look at her.  
They stood together lost in their sadness quietly holding onto each other not wanting the moment to end. No words are spoken between them, both knowing that they wouldn't have been able to form them anyway for fear of breaking down. They'd promised to be strong before they'd left Sal's house earlier. October wasn't so long to wait to see each other again, was it? It was already mid-September, and Summer was almost over. They stood together like that as five minutes turned into ten, then fifteen. Sal stared out the airport window. He imagined that her flight got cancelled or even an official looking guy would suddenly appear and say. 'No you guys are supposed to be together, not going to different places! Wait here a moment sir while we fetch her baggage back so she can stay with you forever'. But that didn't happen. He watched three jets taxi past the terminal before the next one turned in their direction. Was this it? His heart started to beat harder as he took a long deep breath unable to move. His fingers tightened around Dee's, and she knew the time was here just as they started calling her flight. Sal's green eyes were big, and his mouth felt dry. He felt a slight breeze from the vents above his head, could smell the restaurant from down the corridor. The hair on his arms stood on end as he felt Dee slowly pull her fingers out of his own.  
"I miss you already," Sal whispered against her ear tucking her smooth brown hair behind her ear. That did it for Dee. The dam of emotion broke as large fat tears slide down her cheeks. She could see his eyes glistening too.  
"We said we weren't gonna do this." She sobbed. "Get all emotional and cry in a public place."  
"Your the one who's crying."  
"What's this?" Dee asked brushing her thumb across his cheek at the wetness there.  
"Damned leaky tear duct! Did you know 99.8% of men are born with a leaky tear duct syndrome? It's a medical fact."  
"Nah, I'm not buying that." Dee smiled wiping her tears away with her fingers.  
" Allergies?" Dee smiled at Sal through her sadness." Onions? Sweaty eyes?"  
"Shut up. " Dee laughed as Sal leant in to kiss her. She closed her eyes, reached her arms into his hoodie and around his body drawing him closer into her. They remained together joined in their embrace and time seemed to stop. Their lips pressed together their tongues danced together in circles as Dee felt like she was melting into him. Sal was aware of nothing but their embrace, the way their noses touched to the feel of her soft lips on his.  
"Excuse me, sir!" Sal was brought back to reality by a hand grabbing him by the shoulder. Out of breath and slightly dazed he turned around to see an airport employee in a golf cart trying to get passed Dee and himself. Most of the people around them were now staring at them, how long had they been stood there? He casually stepped aside pulling the peak of his baseball hat further down over his eyes.  
"I thought we weren't going to get carried away ?" Dee asked as Sal groaned.  
"So, I got carried away, shot me."  
"I've really gotta go now, Sal. Try not to think of my leaving Sal, our lives are circles, and we will be together again I promise. That circle will become a whole. This separation is only temporary. Stay safe Sal, I'll see you soon." sighed Dee moved away from him, distancing herself from him already. She got sucked into the boarding queue, moving closer and closer to the departure gate. Sal's eyes were glued to Dee as she walked away from him. She looked back, smiled sadly. Dee raised her arm in a goodbye wave, and then she was gone disappearing from his view. Sal was already feeling empty and alone.  
Sal loitered around the airport, waiting for Dee's flight to leave. His eyes followed the jet as it slowly taxied away from terminal 4. His shoulders slumped as he turned reluctantly his heels dragging as he walked through Terminal 4 back the way he'd come earlier with Dee. His gaze was concentrated on his feet, so he didn't see the group of five darkly dressed people standing in his path. He collided with the back of a woman.  
" Oh, Shit! I'm so so sorry." Sal apologised his eyes going wide as he held his hands up. The woman had staggered forward slightly as Sal's eyes wide with shock as his eyes roamed up the woman's body. From her feet encased in goth boots, her legs covered with fishnets that had holes ripped in them to the dress she wore. It didn't leave much to the imagination from the back view anyway. The hem only just covered her bum cheeks the material seemed to be held together in a corset fashion pulling tightly over her ass cheeks. Her whole back was bare, the dress fastening around her neck in the same way as the bottom half. Sal caught a slight glimpse of a gothic butterfly tattoo. Quickly she spun around her long straight black hair almost whipping into Sal's face. The dress had a keyhole front each breast half on display as Sal's gawped at her. He wondered how she got her boobs to stay in the dress instead of falling out. He flicked his gaze up into her pale face conscious that he was staring at her breasts. A bead of water clung to her scarlets lips and dribbled down her chin as she glared at Sal through the dark shades she wore.  
"What's your problem moron!" The woman cried swiping her hand across her chin, the black painted nails glaring in contrast to her pale skin. "Watch where you're going ya fuckin' A class bell end!" Sal has already hurrying away as the four men formed a menacing line around the woman.  
"Watch where ya going next time mate....." Called the guy stood closest to the woman, he put an arm around her shoulders protectively as she watched Sal retreat away from their small group.  
"Brandon, hey Brandon, come on man. Management's finally sorted out the transport. You gonna give us a hand lugging our gear outside or stand here all day?" The guy called Brandon pulled his arm away from the woman's shoulder and began helping the other three men with their luggage. The woman slipped her glasses to the tip of her nose her dark gaze watching Sal move further and further away. She screwed the top of her water bottle back on lost in her thoughts for a moment.  
"Let's get outta this shit hole babe," Brandon called to her." I fuckin' hate airports! I need a drink." The woman didn't move. "Come on Kim."  
"Yeah, okay," Kim called as she spun around chasing the feeling away that she'd seen the guy that had bumped into her before.

 

 

 

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End file.
